The Education of Professor Cullen
by sheviking
Summary: College professor Edward Cullen is thoroughly annoyed by his student Ms. Swan. Everything about her bothers him, and he longs for the semester to be over. But what happens when he meets her one night when they aren't in school?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**I had already decided not to start anymore stories but apparently the OCD part of my brain wouldn't listen! Since this couldn't be stopped I might as well share it with you. :) **

**Thank you to my beta Melanie for helping me with this and having zero problems with my strange mind and the places it takes my writing. **

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

_God, look at her. I have never seen anything like her! How can someone so small be so irritating and off-putting? _

I glanced briefly at the girl who had become a very constant annoyance in my otherwise pleasant Tuesday and Friday schedule. Today her hair looked like it had been done with an electric mixer and was piled on top of her head with half a million pins. I had never seen her wear her hair down in the two months that she had been my student, and it bothered me for some reason. She was pretty enough but apparently insisted on hiding herself behind ridiculous outfits and hairstyles. Not to mention her makeup. I groaned internally when I remembered the hideous black stuff she usually wore on her eyes. She hadn't looked up from her book today so I didn't actually know if she looked like a deranged version of a mime as usual. As if she had heard my thoughts she raised her head and her brown eyes darted to me for a second. She gave me a lopsided grin and winked before turning her attention back to the book she was reading.

_Why must she always do that? It is completely inappropriate. And I hate her makeup!_

The girl seemed to have no appreciation for the fact that I was her professor or the decorum with which she was expected to act around me. Either that or she just didn't care. She had called me Edward to my face several times even though I had corrected her each time it happened, today was hardly the first time she had winked at me and she interrupted me during class if she was of a different opinion.

_And when was she not of a different opinion?!_

I had never met a more infuriatingly opinionated and stubborn girl and I was really looking forward to the end of the semester where she would no longer be in my life.

I looked at her outfit, if you could even call it that, and shuddered slightly. Why some young women insisted on dressing like street walkers was beyond my comprehension. She was wearing these old combat boots, black pantyhose what were riddled with large holes, a too short grey denim skirt and a long-sleeved shirt with some band logo I had never heard of on the front. As if that wasn't bad enough she had chopped up the neckline, making it fall down her right shoulder to reveal her pale skin and no bra strap. That was another thing that bothered me to no end: Her letting the world know that she was not wearing a bra. I assumed that she wore them sometimes, but whenever she didn't it was painfully obvious. Unfortunately, it often caused a ruckus when the jocks in the back of the class discovered this. She would walk into the room listening to her IPod through ridiculously large earphones and _everything_ would be bouncing under her tight clothing. That bothered me even more than the constant interruptions and inappropriate behavior for some reason. Why couldn't she just dress nicely? She would be such a pretty young lady if she wore a decent length skirt and perhaps a silk blouse. But apparently she was adamant in her desire to look like a trashy urchin and thus effectively spoiling my good mood.

I cleared my throat to let the students know that I was beginning the class and for once they settled down quickly. I knew the reason for this unusual occurrence without having to ask. Today we were discussing the novel "Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov and I expected some very strong opinions from my students. The novel was about a grown man who falls in love with a twelve year old girl and proceeds to have a sexual relationship with her. As the class started I was surprised to see that the annoying girl, Ms Swan was not participating for once. She was writing her notes quietly with a small smile on her face and was for once acting appropriately. A guy in the back suggested that the main character Humbert was a degenerate and was not in control of his own actions and therefore he should be allowed a little clemency.

"But you can't actually defend his actions," a red-haired girl whose name I had forgotten argued. "He's a complete pervert and he corrupts the girl!"

"Actually, I think it's the other way around," Ms. Swan said without looking up from her notes.

"What?" the other girl said. "Are you serious?"  
"As a heart attack," Ms. Swan said. "I'm fairly certain that Lolita is the one who corrupts Humbert. She seduces him and he loves it. What guy wouldn't?"

"But she's just a kid!" the redhead insisted.

"That she is, but she's well aware of what she's doing when she seduces him. She has had sex before him and afterwards he is basically eating out of the palm of her hand. I am not saying that what he did wasn't wrong, but you have to remember that he sees her as a young woman and he himself only possesses the emotional maturity of a twelve year old."

The girl with the red hair had no retort and looked down.

"So why do you think that the author chose to write about such a controversial topic?" I asked the class.

A few people started to raise their hands but gave up the second Ms. Swan started speaking without being called on. I gritted my teeth. The girl was undoubtedly intelligent but why couldn't she just play by the rules like everyone else did?

_God, she is so infuriating!_

"Ms Swan!" I said harshly.

She stopped talking and looked at me. Sadly, she didn't look intimidated at all and just gave me a curious look.

"Yes, Edward?" she asked sweetly.

"Professor Cullen," I said exasperatedly.

_Thank heavens that the semester is over soon!_

She just smiled at me.

"You will wait your turn to speak or you can leave my classroom," I finally said and silently dared her to continue her rant.

She motioned for me to continue and leaned back in her seat where she watched me with an amused expression on her face. I asked the other students for their opinions and got some lame responses about taboos and the redheaded girl even started to argue that the author was the real pervert for even writing something like that. I sighed and reluctantly called on the bothersome Ms. Swan who grinned and leaned forward on her elbows.

"I think that Nabokov is using the main characters as symbols."

"How so?" I asked, although I had a pretty good idea where she was going with this.

"Humbert is older, sophisticated but emotionally stunted. He likes serious literature and classical music. He represents Europe. Lolita is young, fun-loving and quite naïve. She likes coca cola, rock music and glossy magazines. She is obviously supposed to be the author's impression of the U.S. which isn't particularly flattering. " She hesitated and smiled to herself. "But, I could be wrong. Maybe Nabokov's motives were much simpler. Maybe it just came to him in a dream one night."

She looked up at me with her lopsided grin and added:

"After all, don't all older men dream of sleeping with a younger woman?"

And then she winked again. I may have been somewhat inexperienced when it came to the opposite sex, but it didn't take a genius to figure out that the aggravating Ms. Swan was flirting to tease me. The tip of her tongue peeked out between her lips before she bit down on the bottom one.

"Class dismissed," I said between gritted teeth and watched as they started filing out.

I sat down at my desk and started to gather my books.

"See you Friday, Edward," I heard Ms. Swan say as she passed by on her way out.

I looked up and watched as she sauntered away in her ridiculous outfit. My eye briefly caught something peaking out of the top of her shirt just below her neck, but I couldn't quite make out what it was. I focused and could now see that it was a tattoo of some sort. My gaze suddenly dropped to her backside and her slender legs which were covered up by those hideous panty hose. She glanced over her shoulder and gave me a smile before she was out of the door.

_Of course she would have a tattoo. She obviously doesn't care about her appearance or having the rest of the world take her seriously. And I really wish she would wear some nicer clothes. She could be quite pretty if she gave it a little effort. _

I threw my things in my bag and hurried out to my car. As usual I was feeling frustrated after class and decided to hit the gym before going home. When I got to my car I saw that I had a missed call from my younger brother Emmett. I dialed his number and he picked up after several rings.

"Edward, what's up?"

"I don't know. You called me."

"Oh right. Are you coming out with us tonight?" he asked.

"It's Tuesday," I answered.

"So?"

"So don't you have work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, what's your point?"

I sighed.

"Nevermind. No, I can't come out."

"Why not, man? You don't have class in the morning."

"I have papers to grade and an article to finish. Besides, I was looking forward to a quiet evening at home."

"ALL your evenings are quiet ones at home," my brother said, and I could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

"Well, that's the way I like it," I said defensively.

"I swear to God, I have no idea how the two of us are even related. You are the oldest thirty-two year old in the world."

"Come on," I scoffed.

"I'm serious, Edward. You're single and have easy access to young hotties, but when's the last time you got laid?"

_A few years maybe? Who can even remember at this point?_

"I don't have 'easy access' as you call it. Dating a student is forbidden and you know it."

"I'm not talking about dating," Emmett countered. "I'm just talking about getting someone else's hand on your dick other than your own. Doesn't that sound nice?"

_Shut up, Em!_

"I have to go," I said quickly. "I'm headed for the gym."

"Great, I'll see you there in ten minutes," Emmett replied and ended the call before I could protest.

_Great, that's just great! Just what I needed after the day I've had!_

I drove to the gym and saw my brother waiting outside for me while he was talking on his phone. I understood what Emmett had meant about us being related. We were nothing alike. Emmett was insanely outgoing and popular. He owned a sports bar with a buddy of his and apparently it was very successful. I didn't care about sports in the slightest and I had only been there for the grand opening a few years ago when our parents had pretty much forced me to go. I had spent the entire night feeling awkward and overdressed in my suit, and was thrilled to slip out early when a fight had broken out.

"Hey bro," Emmett called as I approached him.

I waved my hand and we walked inside.

"What's with you?" he asked, when I slammed my gym bag down on the floor. "That vein in your forehead looks like it's about ready to pop."

"I don't know. I think I might be coming down with something," I said.

"Yeah, and it's called blue balls, bro. Is it that annoying girl who has been playing you again?"

"What?" I asked only half-listening to him as I started to get changed.

"You know, the one who according to you dresses like crap and always talks back. The one you can't seem to shut up about whenever I see you."

"Ms. Swan?" I asked.

"Mmm…Ms. Swan, I like that. What's her first name?"  
"I don't know," I said, irritated. "Why are we even talking about one of my students?"  
"Because the vein is unusually large today and that only ever happens when you've had her in your class," he said matter-of-factly.

I reached my hand up and touched my forehead. Ok, so maybe there was a little vein, but Emmett exaggerated as usual…I hoped.

"Well, what did she do today?" he asked with a grin.

"Nothing!" I said. "Will you just leave it alone?"  
"Wow, it must have been bad," he said. "Or good, depending on how you look at it."

I shot him a look to get him to shut up. I didn't want to think about that ridiculous girl a second longer.

"Oh, I know," he said and grinned at me. "Did she do that whole crossing and uncrossing of her legs? Give you a peak of the good stuff?"

"No!" I half-yelled. "What is wrong with you, Emmett? She's at least ten years younger than me."

"So?" he asked. "All men dream of being with a younger woman."

_That was what Ms. Swan said, as well! _

"Really?" I heard myself asking.

"Absolutely. You can't tell me that you wouldn't love to fuck the hell out of that naughty student of yours and show her who's boss?"

I stopped dead in my tracks. The thought had never entered my mind before, but now that it was there it sounded oddly…intriguing? I shook my head.

"No," I finally said. "Even if it wasn't against the rules, she is not my type at all."

"What does she look like?" he asked curiously as we started to head for the treadmills.

"I don't know. She is small with dark hair and brown eyes. She's probably around twenty-one years old. She's the worst dresser I've ever seen and her make up and hair is just…Well, it looks like she's celebrating Halloween all year round."

Emmett nodded and I could see that he was creating a visual in his head.

"Oh, and she has a tattoo below the nape of her neck." I added.

"Hmm, tattoos are hot," he said dreamily. "How are her tits?"

I groaned. Unfortunately I knew exactly how her tits were, as Emmett had so charmingly put it.

"That good huh?" he grinned.

"I don't know, Em," I said, feeling tired of this conversation. "I wouldn't know which criteria to judge them from."

"They can't be too small, but not too big either. A handful is perfect, and I do have pretty big hands," he laughed and held them up in front of him and mimicked fondling a pair of breasts.

I rolled my eyes and started running. I didn't want to think about Ms. Swan's breasts, and I hoped that he would drop the subject.

"Oh," he said, when he had finished his imaginary groping. "They have to be nice and perky. But that's pretty much a given with a twenty-one year old, you lucky dog."

I ran faster. They _were_ perky, I couldn't deny that.

"So are you going to make a move on her?" Emmett continued despite my running at top speed or the fact that I hadn't answered his asinine breast query.

"Of course not," I panted.

"Why not? The way you describe what she does in class, it sounds like she's into you," he said.

_She is not. She is…I don't know what she is. And I don't want to find out._

I kept running until it felt like my heart was about to beat out of my chest and sweat was pouring off me. I stopped the treadmill and downed my water while Emmett was still watching me with a stupid grin on his face.

"What?!" I yelled and jumped off.

"Easy bro, don't give yourself a coronary," he said and stopped his slow pace. "I'm just saying that if this girl can get you this worked up there might be something there."

"There's nothing there!" I panted. "She is stupid and annoying, and frankly I can't wait for the semester to be over so I don't have to look at her twice a week. And yes, her breasts are very perky and probably just the right size, but that doesn't change the fact that she looks like an extra from a Tim Burton movie and seems hell bent on annoying the crap out of me!"

I stormed off and heard him laugh as he followed me to the area where the weight benches were. I started working on my chest, hoping that Emmett would keep his mouth shut while he spotted me. Of course I was all out of luck in that department.

"So," he said casually. "When your class is over it wouldn't be illegal for you to date her, would it?"

I groaned under the exertion.

"Since I have no interest in dating her it's a moot point," I said. "Besides, I'm much too old for her and like I've already said, she is not my type."

"You like brunettes," he countered.

"Yes, but I don't like ghoul makeup, torn pantyhose and especially not tattoos. Why are we still talking about this?"

"Because you've mentioned her every time I've seen you in the past two months," he said. "You don't even realize that you've done that, do you?"

_I haven't talked about her that much have I ? _

"It couldn't have been that much," I said reluctantly as we switched and Emmett added more weight for his set.

"Are you kidding me? I know what she's been wearing and how she has done her hair for every single one of your classes. Not to mention all her winking and smiling at you," he said and lay down on the bench.

"You're exaggerating," I said dismissively. "What was she wearing on Friday?"

"Uh, a black and white checkered skirt and a t shirt with the Ramones logo," he said without hesitation.

_That's absolutely right! God, this is so messed up._

I didn't say anything. Honestly, what could I say?

"I'm right, aren't I?" he said with a grin.

"Just shut up or I'm going to drop this on you," I said and handed him the bar.

He did his set and I stood there feeling perplexed. I hadn't realized that I had been complaining so much about the irritating Ms. Swan, and I hoped that I had only done this to my brother and not also to the few friends I had.

After we had finished I didn't feel like doing anymore and we hit the showers.

"All kidding aside, Edward. Why haven't you dated anyone in forever?" my brother asked me as were dressing.

"I don't know," I said honestly. "I just haven't met anyone who has held my interest."

"Except for the girl you haven't been able to shut up about for the past two months," he interjected.

"Plus, I'm not very good at talking to women," I added and ignored his comment.

"Yeah, you always were a bit on the geeky side," Emmett said.

I nodded, knowing that he was right. You didn't get to be a professor by the age of thirty by slacking off in school. I had always liked studying and there hadn't been a lot of time left over for dating. I had mostly spent time with my friends and I always figured that the right woman would just come along some day. Now I was thirty-two and so far that hadn't happened.

"Do you want me to set you up?" my brother asked me. "I know a lot of women who would love to go on a date with you."  
"Really?" I asked doubtfully and raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, so maybe not a lot. But I'm pretty sure I could wrestle one up for you. Someone nice and boring just like you," he said, as if that was a compliment.

"Do you really think I'm boring?" I asked him.

"Yes," he answered immediately.

"Wow, thanks for not sugarcoating it, Em," I said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, Edward but just look at your life, man. You spend every night at home with your nose in a book, you haven't gone on a date since JT brought sexy back and you dress like a grandpa."

_Who's JT? Sexy back? A GRANDPA?! What??_

I looked at my clothes and compared them to Emmett's. I was wearing khaki pants with a belt, a blue button down shirt, a brown corduroy blazer and black leather shoes with laces and of course my glasses. My brother was wearing some odd-looking sneakers, dark denim jeans, a simple white t-shirt and a leather jacket. Even I could acknowledge that there were differences but I didn't think that my clothes were that bad. I looked up at him and he patted my shoulder sympathetically.

"The next time mom offers to take you clothes shopping, just say no."

"Ok," I said simply to get him off my back.

"Look, why don't you come with me to the bar and have a beer. We can grab some dinner on the way," he suggested.

I hesitated.

"There's a Seahawks game on and it's sure to bring some women to the bar. That's football, by the way."  
"I know," I said and rolled my eyes. "Ok, I'll come along. But just for one beer, Em."

"Great, do you want to stop by your place for a change of clothes?" he asked pointedly.

"No," I said wearily.

"Ok, just…err, lose the jacket at least and don't tuck your shirt in," he said.

I sighed and did what he told me.

"Anything else?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yeah, don't do that weird parting on the side. It makes you look like you have a comb over which obviously isn't necessary," he said and ruffled my unruly hair.

I was already regretting the decision when we pulled up at Emmett's bar later that night and I saw how many cars were parked outside. The place was packed and I could feel myself getting nervous. We stepped inside and Emmett was greeted enthusiastically from all corners of the place. Apparently everyone knew who he was and I couldn't have felt more anonymous or out of place if I tried.

"Come on, bro. I have my own table," Emmett said and ushered me over to what seemed like the best seats in the house with a great view overlooking the whole bar and the large TV on the wall.

"I'll get you a beer," he said. "Any preference?"

I shook my head. I didn't drink very often and I couldn't tell one beer from the other to save my life. I looked around the place and was surprised to see that there were in fact a lot of women here as my brother had promised. I knew that Emmett saw a lot of different girls but none exclusively, and apparently he liked it that way. I saw him embrace several on his way back to where I was sitting, and I had to admit that I felt a little jealous of him. My brother was well-liked by everyone and had a way with the opposite sex that I had never possessed.

"Here you go," he said and handed me a bottle. "So, see anything you like?"

He motioned around the crowded bar. I shrugged my shoulders and peeked around at all the different women. The game hadn't started yet and the music was loud. Suddenly a rock song came on and I heard loud cheering in the back of the place. Both Emmett and I turned in our seats to see what was going on, and I almost fell off my chair at the sight that met my eyes. Ms. Swan was dancing on a table with two other girls, and they were surrounded by a huge group of men who all looked up at them and made catcalls.

Tonight she was wearing a dress I hadn't seen before; a red strapless contraption that I had no idea how she was holding up and knee-high leather boots. Her hair was in a high ponytail and she wore red lipstick and the same black smudgy stuff around her eyes as she had in class.

"Holy shit, that blonde is hot!" Emmett exclaimed next to me and let out a low whistle.

He was referring to Ms. Swan's friend, a tall curvy girl who did indeed have long blonde hair. The third girl was smaller than the two others with spiky black hair. The three completely captured the attention of every man in the place with their dance routine on the table. I had the sudden urge to get out of here before she saw me. I didn't want to see her although I had to admit that she looked a lot better tonight than she usually did in class.

_Pretty dress for a change._

I gaped at her when they started doing shots off of each other and this made the crowd of men go absolutely wild.

"Err, are they allowed to do that?" I asked Emmet.

"Are you kidding me?" he asked with his eyes fixed on the blonde one. "Those men are going to come back here every night for a month hoping for a repeat performance. I should put those girls on my payroll. I haven't seen them in here before. I wonder who they are?"

"That's Ms. Swan," I heard myself say, and instantly regretted it.

"The one in the red dress?" he asked incredulously. "Are you serious?"

I nodded.

"The annoying one who isn't your type? You are so full of shit, bro! You need to tap that, and then introduce me to her friend."

I didn't feel the need to 'tap' anything and got up to leave.

"Where are you going? The game hasn't even started yet," he said and pulled me back in my seat. "One beer, Edward, you promised."

"Fine," I said, feeling slightly irritated and ducked my head. "I'll finish the one I have and then I'm going home. I have things to attend to."

"You can jack off later," he laughed. "Your dear Ms. Swan just provided you with a great image," he added and motioned in her direction.

Now she was busy licking salt of the neck of the blonde before she downed a shot and sucked on a lemon wedge that the other girl had between her lips. I felt a stirring in my nether regions and looked away, feeling disgusted with myself.

_She is ten years younger than you and more importantly your student. Plus, she annoys you like crazy, remember?_

I turned my attention to the screen and the noise from the back died down when the game came on. After finishing my beer I told Emmett that I was leaving but made plans with him to have lunch the following day. I looked around for Ms. Swan but thankfully she and her friends seemed to have left when the game started. I walked outside and took a deep breath.

"Cocksucking son of a bitch!"

_What the?_

I looked in the direction of the voice and who else could it have been but Ms. Swan who was rifling through her purse and cursing loudly. She pulled out a cigarette, lit up and inhaled deeply.

"Fucking hell," she groaned with her eyes closed.

_She has a foul mouth AND she's a smoker. Wonderful. The 'things I don't like about Ms. Swan'- list keeps getting longer and longer. Before the semester is through it'll look like Kerouac's On the Road scroll._

For a second I thought I might be able to slip past her undetected, but then she opened her eyes again and broke into a smile when she saw me.

"Edward," she said with her lopsided grin. "What are you doing here?"

"It's Professor Cullen," I said automatically.

"We're not in school now," she countered and took a drag of her cigarette.

I couldn't stop myself from staring at her insanely red lips as they wrapped themselves around it. I decided not to say anything else about the name thing.

"It's my brother's bar. Well, half of it is, anyway," I said.

"I never pegged you for the sports type," she said and looked me up and down slowly while taking another drag.

"I'm not and I'm leaving. Good night, Ms. Swan," I said curtly and started walking to my car.

"Wait," she said, and I found myself stopping. "I don't have enough money for a cab and my friends already left in the other direction. Can I have a ride?"

I didn't really want her in my car with her being annoying, and the dress being very short and tight.

"Hey, never mind," she said before I could answer. "I'll just see you on Friday."

I turned and she was already walking away at a brisk pace.

_Is she going to walk home? Alone? And in that dress?_

"Ms. Swan," I called after her.

She turned and looked curiously at me.

"Come on," I said and motioned to my car with my hand.

She smiled brightly and walked towards me. I couldn't help but notice the way her hips moved and how tiny her waist really was. Her ponytail swayed from side to side with each step she took, and I decided that I preferred that hairstyle to the others she had shown up to class with. She got in the car and I immediately noticed that she was still smoking.

"Would you mind not doing that in my car?" I asked and pointed to her cigarette.

She threw it out the door and put on her seatbelt.

"Where do you live?" I asked as we pulled out of the parking lot.

She told me and I knew the neighborhood fairly well since it housed a lot of students.

"So Edward," she said and turned to me. "Do you do this sort of thing a lot?"

"What sort of thing?" I asked flatly, keeping my eyes on the road.

"Rescuing damsels in distress," she said jokingly. "No, hanging out in bars on a school night?"

"Technically it's not a school night for me, and no, I don't do that a lot. It wasn't really my scene back there."

"What is your scene then?" she asked.

I shrugged. Most nights I spent at home with a cup of tea and a book. Sometimes I would go see a movie if anything good was playing or go to my parents' for dinner. That was pretty much the extent of my social life, but I didn't tell this to Ms. Swan and kept driving. I was anxious to get her home as soon as possible and be rid of her. Despite her cigarette earlier she smelled intoxicating and the way she was rubbing her arms to stay warm was distracting.

"Why didn't you bring a jacket?" I asked, once again feeling annoyed with her.

"I forgot," she said and shrugged. "That was a fun class today, huh?"  
_Fun isn't exactly how I'd put it! Frustrating? Yes. Irritating? Yes. Fun? No. _

I gave her a grunt of acknowledgement but didn't say anything else.

"Well, I sure had fun," she said and let out a small laugh. "I can't believe that people would actually have something against the writer."

"It's not the first time that has happened," I said. "Ellis received a number of death threats after writing "American Psycho"".

"Yeah, I know. I was thinking about doing my thesis on New York writers," she said conversationally.

I just nodded and sighed with relief when I saw that we drove onto her street.

"Well, goodnight," I said and stared straight ahead.

_Get out of the car, get out of the car, get out of the car._

"Listen Edward, it's still pretty early. Would you like to come up for some coffee or a drink?" she asked casually.

_Nononononono!_

"Yes."

_What the hell am I doing?_

**What **_**is**_** he doing? Any ideas? ;)**

**I hope you enjoyed this and just to reassure you I promise that the next Blizzard chapter will be up before the week is over. **

**Thank you for reading. **


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Thank you for the great response this story has received, and I owe a lot to my wonderful beta Melanie for correcting this and email conferences about everything from Edward's nakedness to…Um, I actually can't remember what else we walked about…**

**Oh, and I realize that Bella is completely out of character in this story so no complaints that she's too forward, please. She's supposed to be that way and I ain't changing her. ;)**

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

Ms. Swan was smiling as she exited my car and I found myself following her up the stairs to her apartment.

_What am I doing? _

"Come on in," she said and opened the door.

I was met by a sweet smell that permeated the place.

_What is that? Roses?_

I looked around her apartment feeling instantly horrified. Her place was a complete mess. It was small with just three rooms as far as I could tell. A small kitchen, a bathroom and a large bedroom was all there was. I stared at her bed and wondered what on earth she could have been thinking when she had decorated it. The thing looked like something out of a pornographic version of One Thousand and One Nights complete with a deep purple bedspread, huge pillows ranging from gold, pink and purple hues and a canopy. At the foot of the bed there was large wooden chest with exotic looking candle lamps in the same color scheme and a holder for incense sticks on top of it.

_Ah, that explains the sweet smell. _

I turned to look at her and she was apparently waiting for me to say something about the monstrosity.

"Your bed is very, uh, interesting," I offered, seeing as that was the nicest thing I could say about it.

"Thank you," she said with smile. "I know it's a little over the top but I like to have a nice place to sleep."

She lit the candles in the lamps and looked at me again.

"And to do other things that don't involve sleep," she added.

_What on earth have I gotten myself into?_

I blinked a few times, trying to figure out if she had just been talking about sex. She looked perfectly at ease and was still lighting those candles everywhere.

"What would you like to drink, Edward?" she asked and blew out a match.

I felt perplexed again. I had never found myself in a situation like this before.

"Wine? Beer? Coffee? Tea?" she threw the options at me.

"What are you having?" I finally asked.

"You," she said with a smile.

_What did she say? Women don't say something like that outside the porn universe. I must have misheard her, I must have!_

"And some wine, I think," she added and walked into the kitchen.

I looked around trying to find something rational to focus on.

_Clutter. Clutter everywhere. How can she live like this?_

The neat freak in me was having a panic attack because apparently the girl lacked the ability to pick up after herself. Everywhere I looked I saw disorder; the books that were haphazardly scattered on every surface, articles of clothing hanging over chairs and her small desk covered in paper and yet more books. The place wasn't exactly dirty, just…disorganized, and I really didn't like that. Everything seemed a little worn except her laptop which appeared to be brand new. She came out and handed me a glass of red wine. I noticed that the glass that she was holding didn't match mine and frowned a little.

_Was there nothing in this place that made any sense?_

She sat down on the edge of the bed, placed her drink on the nightstand and started to remove her boots. I took a sip of my wine and was surprised to find it delicious.

"I helped make that, you know," she said with a smile and pulled off a boot.

"Make what?" I asked.

"The wine," she replied.

"Oh," I said, not quite sure how to respond to that. "In California?"

"South of France, three years ago," she said and removed the other boot. "I worked in a winery the summer after I finished high school."

"Why?"

"Why not?" she said.

This was without a doubt the strangest conversation of my life. I took another drink of the wine, silently praying that Ms. Swan hadn't had her feet in the grapes like you sometimes saw on film. I glanced at her naked feet and decided maybe it wasn't so bad after all. They were small, delicate and looked well-groomed.

_She gets pedicures but puts on her makeup with a spatula? This makes no sense, whatsoever._

"Do you like it?" she asked. "The wine."

I nodded.

"Good, I'll tell Laurent the next time I email him," she said and walked over to the stereo.

"What would you like to listen to?" she asked and looked at me over her shoulder.

I didn't know what to suggest. I was fairly certain that she didn't have any of the CDs that I listened to at home, when considering that I didn't know any of the bands on her t-shirts.

"What are you listening to now?" I asked.

"The Smiths, but it doesn't really set the right mood, you know?" she said with a small laugh.

I had no idea what she was talking about, but I just nodded. She saw right through my act, though.

"They can be a little depressing sometimes. Suicide, nuclear bombs, getting hit by ten ton trucks and so on," she said and took out the CD. "You choose something."

I walked over to where she was standing and looked at all her music. She had alot and I was quite impressed with how eclectic she was in her taste.

_Wow, so far I have found two things that I don't dislike about her; her taste in wine and music. _

I finally settled on an Otis Redding greatest hits CD and she put it on.

"Good choice," she said approvingly and looked up at me.

I hadn't realized how much taller I was until now. She moved with so much determination and confidence that it was easy to overlook the fact that she was such a small woman.

"I would have chosen that too," she said and took a step closer to me. Then she smirked and her eyes twinkled mischievously. "Well, either that or Prince. He does have a way with words."

I felt as though she was speaking a foreign language and I was without a translator. She stood up on her toes and sang in my ear:

"Do me baby, like you never done before. Give it to me till I just can't take no more."

_WHAT? _

For the first time in my adult life I was actually tempted to throw out an expletive or two. But I managed to resist and instead I swallowed audibly and took a step back. She was standing much too close for comfort and I was suddenly worried that she had spiked the wine, because I felt a little lightheaded.

"Will you help me unzip my dress?" she asked and turned her back to me. "My friend Rosalie put me in it and I have no idea how to get out of it again."

"Is that the blonde one?" I heard myself ask, hoping to distract her so I wouldn't have to watch her remove her dress.

"Yes, did you see us in the bar?" she asked, still standing with her back to me.

I nodded even though she couldn't see me.

"Edward, the dress," she said. "I don't want to sleep in this. It isn't very comfortable."

I saw no escape and finally unzipped it with my eyes closed.

"Thank you," she said softly and I heard her moving around a little.

"Why do you have your eyes closed?" she asked, sounding amused.

"I don't know," I said, although I knew exactly why I didn't want to look at her until she was dressed in something else.

"You can look now," she said.

"Are you decent?" I asked nervously.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly say that," she answered right in front of me.

_No, better keep your eyes closed. Maybe you should just leave now before you get into trouble. _

The second the thought entered my mind I realized that I was already in trouble, because I felt Ms. Swan's hands on each side of my face and her body pressed against mine. And she felt naked.

_This is not happening! What am I going to do?_

"Edward, look at me," she said.

I realized that I would need my vision if I was to make it out this apartment in one piece, and with my eyes closed I could most likely trip over one of the books on the floor and break my neck. Reluctantly I opened my eyes and sure enough Ms. Swan's face was only inches from mine.

"Thank you for driving me home," she said with a smile.

"You're welcome," I answered automatically.

Her hands cupping my face were scorching hot and her breath fanned over my face. Even with the cigarette that she had smoked earlier she smelled sweet and I felt myself inhale deeply as she exhaled. I looked into her eyes and tried to figure out what on earth was going on and how this had come to pass. I didn't have anymore time to ponder, because suddenly Ms. Swan pressed her lips against mine and kissed me fiercely. I felt my jaw go slack from the shock and she took this as an invitation to plunge her tongue into my mouth. I was in a state of complete and utter disbelief. She was kissing me, and I liked it. I liked it a lot.

"Mmm, you taste good," she said and kissed my lips softly.

She ran her little hands down my neck and I felt her start unbuttoning my shirt.

"Wow," she breathed out as she opened it and looked at me. "You work out."

I nodded dumbly and my breath hitched in my throat when she started kissing my neck and ran her hands over my chest and stomach. I was more aroused than I had ever been before and hissed when she pinched my nipples.

"You like that?" she asked and did it again.

"Yes," I managed to gulp out.

My heart was beating frantically and I felt dizzy but not exactly in an unpleasant way. She slipped my shirt off and hummed.

"You look great," she said. "I never would have guessed with the way you dress."

_You have a problem with the way _I _dress?! This is priceless. _

But I didn't say anything and finally I allowed myself to glance at her below her neck. She wasn't naked, but she was only wearing her underwear; a red strapless bra and a pair of miniscule panties. Her skin was very pale and smooth and thankfully I couldn't see anymore tattoos. Out of nowhere she dropped to her knees and started opening my belt.

"Wait, what are you doing?" I asked nervously.

She looked up at me with curiosity in her eyes.

"Well, I'm taking off your pants, Edward. Or would you prefer to do this on the bed?"

_Do what? What are we doing? What am _I_ doing? Why am I not leaving?_

"D-do what?" I stammered.

She stood up and kissed my lips lightly.

"Have sex," she said slowly, as if I was retarded in some way, which frankly wasn't that far off at this moment. "I would love to have sex with you, Edward."

I had no idea how to respond to her brazen statement and followed her to the bed as if I was in a trance. She pushed me down and crawled on top of me. She straddled my waist and reached behind to remove her bra and let it fall to the floor.

_Wow! Just…wow!_

I stared at her naked breasts and felt my mouth go completely dry. I hesitated for a few seconds before I reached my hands up and cupped them carefully. My brother had been absolutely right; a handful was just perfect and they were most definitely perky, as he had put it. I had never seen a woman like this before and gave her breasts a small squeeze. I ran my thumbs over her nipples and saw that she arched her back and let out a small moan. She leaned down and started kissing my neck again while I was still fondling her amazingly soft breasts. She moved down my body and I felt her bite my nipple which made me groan loudly and buck my hips.

"You really like that. Don't you, professor?" she teased.

Her words sobered me instantly.

_I am her professor! I'll get fired for doing this!_

"Stop!" I said and sat up quickly.

"What is it?" she asked.

"We…I…I-I can't do this…It's wrong," I scrambled to find the right words.

I realized that I was still holding her breasts and let go immediately as if they had burnt me.

"I shouldn't have come up here," I said quickly. "You've been drinking and I'm just…"

_Desperate to get laid. _

"We can't do this," I said and looked away from her naked upper body.

She was still sitting on top of me, smelling just right and feeling even better.

"I won't tell anyone if that's what you're worried about," she said calmly.

I looked up at her.

"You won't?"

"No, of course not. Why would I?" she asked with genuinely puzzled expression on her face.

I couldn't give her a good answer.

"If this gets out I could lose my job," I said, mostly to myself.

"It won't," she said simply. "Whatever happens here tonight stays between the two of us."

I looked at her but I couldn't see anything insincere in her eyes.

"Do you want me?" she asked.

I nodded. I did want her. I hadn't been with a woman in ages and frankly my own hand just didn't do it for me anymore.

"Good," she said, as if the subject was resolved. "Because I really want you too."

"Why?" I heard myself asking.

"Why?" she laughed. "Because you're hot and I'm really horny."

I gaped at her. I had never known a woman like this before, one who was so open about her sexuality.

"Do you want to?" she asked me and ran her fingers through my hair.

I nodded again.

"Good, then lie back and enjoy this. Stop thinking so much," she said with a smile.

I leaned back on my elbows and looked at her again. I suddenly felt brave.

"Take your hair down," I said.

She loosened her ponytail and shook her head, making her hair fall down over her naked shoulders.

_That's beautiful!_

I ran my fingers through it and marveled at its silky softness.

"You should wear it like that everyday," I said.

"You should wear yours like this everyday," she countered with a smirk and pointed to my uncombed hair.

She reached for my glasses.

"Can you see without them?"

I nodded and she took them off and placed them on the nightstand. Her eyes roamed over me and she grinned wickedly.

"I want to see the rest of you," she said and opened my pants.

She pulled them off me in one fluid motion and took my underwear with them. Her eyes widened and she looked at me.

"Holy shit, Edward," she said. "I didn't expect that."

"Um, what?" I asked nervously.

"Well, its fucking perfect," she said matter-of-factly.

_Oh! What does that even mean?_

I watched as she lowered her head and then she looked up at me and licked her lips.

_Wait! Is she going to?_

"Whoa, you, err, you don't have to do that," I said quickly.

She laughed a little and shook her head.

"I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to. Don't you want me to?"

I couldn't believe that she would really want to do something like that and I stared at her without knowing what to say. I couldn't just ask her to take me in her mouth.

"I don't know," I said helplessly.

"Has no one ever done this to you before?" she suddenly asked.

I shook my head and took a deep breath to calm my nerves.

"Never?" she asked incredulously.

I shook my head again and was starting to feel utterly embarrassed about my lack of experience.

"Edward, are you a virgin?"

"No, of course not!" I said emphatically.

I had been with a few women, but never like this. It had usually happened under the covers in a dark room. It had always felt slightly awkward, and I had never been with the same woman twice. They had never wanted a repeat performance, and this had made me believe that I was, in fact, lousy in bed. I had never had a woman straddle me like Ms. Swan and show me her body like this. She was so unembarrassed about her sexuality and to be truthful it both excited and terrified me at the same time.

"I just, um, I don't have a lot of experience," I muttered and contemplated leaving immediately and just forgetting that this ever took place.

"Oh," she said and gave me a smile. "You're in for a treat then."

_I am?_

"Just lie back and relax," she said softly. "I'll be gentle with you, I swear."

I couldn't figure out if she was teasing me or not, but I didn't have time to decide because Ms. Swan wrapped her hand around my shaft and leaned down again. I held my breath and felt her lick from root to tip where she swirled her tongue over the most sensitive part.

_Oh! Dear God, that feels good._

I watched in rapt fascination as she took almost my entire length into her mouth and I threw my head back and fisted my hands in the sheets.

"Oh," I moaned, unable to stop myself. "Ms. Swan."

She licked my underside on her way up and released me from her mouth. I lifted my head and looked at her.

_Please don't stop now. _

"Edward," she said with her lopsided grin, "I just had your cock in my mouth. I think you can call me by my first name."

_Cock? This girl talks like a porn star! And what is her first name?_

She was still watching me and I felt myself starting to panic when I couldn't recall her name. I had read it on the class list at some point, but I had no idea what it was. I suddenly felt like a douche bag because I was in bed with a girl and I didn't even know her name.

"Uh, I'm really sorry, but…I don't remember it," I said, hoping that she wouldn't get angry and kick me out.

"It's Isabella," she said. "Or Bella."

"I like Isabella," I said immediately, because I really did. It sounded regal.

"I like you too," she said with a wink.

"Oh, I…err…"

_Usually think you're annoying but I really want you to continue what you're doing? _

"Relax, Edward. I'm only teasing you," she said. 

She smiled again, wrapped her lips around the head and when she sucked lightly I forgot all about feeling flustered and embarrassed. She worked me up and down slowly and I had never felt anything like this before. Her warm tongue swirled around the head which made me moan each time. Suddenly I felt her hand between my legs and she cupped my balls while she increased the suction.

"Isabella," I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut.

I was in danger of finishing much too soon, and I didn't want that to happen. I knew from masturbatory experience that I need a lot more recovery time now than when I had been in my teens and early twenties. I didn't want to disappoint her with my performance and I knew I had to slow down although I really didn't want to.

"Wait," I whispered and reached my hand down to her chin.

She released me and gave me a curious look.

"I don't want to finish like that," I said quietly.

"Why not?" she asked.

"There isn't much in it for you if that happens," I said, hoping that she would understand.

"Are you in a hurry to leave?" she asked.

She didn't seem upset about this, merely curious.

"No. No, I guess not," I said.

I didn't have anything waiting for me at home apart from my books and TV.

"Great, because I plan on taking my time with you," she said and lowered her head.

_What is she expecting from me? I have no idea what I'm doing!_

She sucked me back into her mouth again and massaged my balls at the same time. Soon I was panting and moaning like never before. Her mouth felt incredible and I couldn't believe that I had been deprived of this my entire life.

"Isabella, I'm, oh, I'm going to," I tried to warn her.

I thought that she would pull away but it only made her more eager and she worked me fervently and moaned around my length. The sensation flooded through me and I raised my hips off the bed while I gripped the sheets.

"Isa-," I moaned loudly and then my eyes rolled back in my head and I lost the ability to form words.

I came in her mouth and the suction that she created increased the intensity of my orgasm up to the point where I almost blacked out. I felt her release me and I tried to will my heart to slow down. My body felt boneless and I had never experienced such a feeling of relaxation as the one that followed. I could barely lift my head to look at her when she lay down next to me and curled into my side. Her warmth felt wonderful against me and I drifted off to the touch of her hand caressing my chest and the smell of her hair.

I woke up feeling confused and disoriented. I had no idea how long I had slept or where I even was for a second. Suddenly it all came rushing back to and I sat up slowly when I realized that I was alone in the bed.

The room was warm and glowing from all the candles everywhere and I saw her sitting in front of her laptop typing away while she listened to music through her earphones. Her back was turned and I frowned when I saw that she had put her hair back up and was wearing a robe. I looked at my watch and saw that it was midnight. I had slept for a few hours already, and felt embarrassed that I had passed out on her like that. I got out of the bed slowly and put on my boxers. I didn't know what to do next. I needed the bathroom and I should probably alert her to the fact that I was awake again. I tried clearing my throat but that didn't get her attention. Finally I gathered up the courage to approach her and put my hand on her shoulder. She jumped a little and took off her headphones. I could hear music coming out but couldn't decipher what it was. She turned in her chair and smiled up at me.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up. Sometimes I sing along without even realizing it."

"No, you didn't. Can I, uh, can I use your bathroom?" I asked awkwardly, and suddenly felt very naked in front of her.

"Sure," she said simply and I hurried away.

After finishing up I looked at myself in the mirror and tried get myself to calm down. I had no idea what she expected of me now. We hadn't slept together but we had engaged in sexual activity.

_The most gratifying sexual activity of my life._

Would it be considered rude if I left now? She hadn't gotten anything out of this, but I certainly couldn't return the favor in any satisfactory way since that was completely unchartered territory for me. I had never had a one night stand. It just happened that my short-term relationships had all ended after the first awkward attempt at sex, and I had never been asked to stay over afterwards. So this was an entirely new experience for me, and I had no idea how to proceed next.

I took a deep breath and exited the bathroom.

"Would you like some tea?" she asked from the kitchen.

"Sure," I said, although I wasn't sure about anything at this point.

"Honey?"

_What? She's calling me honey? Oh no, is she under the impression that we are in a relationship now? _

"Edward, do you want honey in your tea?" she asked.

_Oh! I am an idiot._

"Yes, please," I answered and tried to figure out where I should sit.

There was the bed, her office chair at the desk and a beaten up armchair. I chose the latter, sat down and tried to get comfortable in this strange place. There were lots of pictures and paintings on the walls. All were different sizes, colors and styles but it didn't surprise me since the entire apartment was an interior decorator's worst nightmare. She came out of the kitchen and handed me a mug. I looked at it and saw that it said 'The London Dungeon' on it with red letters.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It's this historical walkthrough of London's past. You get to experience the plague, the great fire and Jack the Ripper. You know, stuff like that. It's scary as hell."

"Oh, ok," I said and took a careful sip.

It tasted different than the tea I was used to and I couldn't figure out what it was. The mug was black so I couldn't see the color of the liquid in it.

"What is this?" I asked and tasted in again.

"It's green tea with jasmine. Do you like it?"

I nodded. I hadn't tried any of the new teas that had flooded the market in the past years. I stuck to one brand that I had always bought, but I had to admit that this was very tasty and much less bitter than what I had at home. Suddenly her phone vibrated on the desk and she walked over and picked it up.

_It's past midnight and people are calling her?_

"Hey Alice, what's up?" she asked.

"No, I can't come out and play." There was a pause. "Because I've got company," she said casually.

"No, it's no one you know," she continued.

"I'm not telling, you nosey cow," she laughed. "Goodbye Alice!"

Another pause and I watched as she grinned into the receiver.

"Yes, you go have great sex, too. I'll see you tomorrow. Ok, say hi to Rose. Yeah, bye."

I stared at her and tried to make sense of the conversation I had just heard.

_Have great sex, too? Do they really talk to each other like that? And what did she mean 'too'? Does she want to have sex with me even after my falling asleep?_

"Sorry about that," she said and put the phone down. "Apparently my friends went to another bar and they wanted me to come and join them."

"That's ok," I said quickly and stood up. "You can go and I'll head home."

I put my mug on the desk and looked for my clothes.

"Edward, don't be silly," she said and walked over to me. "I invited you up here because I wanted to spend the night with you."

"But your friends," I started.

"Are probably hooking up as we speak. Why would I go all the way downtown when I've already got a good-looking half naked man in my bedroom?" she asked and looked up at me.

_How do you answer something like that?_

"I don't know," I said.

She stood up on her toes and reached her arms around my neck.

"Pick me up," she said with a smile. "You're almost too tall to reach."

"Oh, ok," I said, as the bumbling idiot I had turned into.

I reached down and lifted her gently so she could wrap her legs around my waist. I was surprised that she was so light.

"How much do you weigh?" I blurted out and immediately felt my face get hot from sheer mortification.

She threw her head back and pealed with laughter.

"Oh Edward," she chuckled. "Do you know anything about women?"

"No," I admitted, because I really didn't.

I started to put her down, figuring that I had spoiled the mood with my asinine question. She tightened her hold on me and I looked her.

"I'm not going to kick you out because you ask me how much I weigh," she said smiling.

"Oh, that's good, I guess."

She leaned in and pressed her lips against mine softly. First she kissed my bottom lip, then the top and finally licked them which made me open to her. I felt less apprehensive this time and kissed her back tentatively when our tongues met.

"Mmm, that's nice," she hummed against my lips. "You do know some things about women."

"Not a lot," I said quietly, because I didn't want her to get her expectations up.

"Carry me to the bed," she whispered and kissed me lightly.

My heart pounded in my chest. She wanted to sleep with me, and I still had no idea how to proceed with this confidant and experienced woman. But I also had the very distinct feeling that Ms. Sw…_Isabella_ was about to educate me on the matter.

**Heh, poor Edward. What has he gotten himself into? Will sex make the vein in his forehead pop or actually diminish it? Can he trust Isabella to keep her mouth shut?**

**Let me know what you think.**

**Oh, and the Blizzard chapter will be up sometime later today. :) **


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Who loves you? Another chapter already! ;) **

**Thank you for all the reviews. I feel really shitty that I don't have time to write back to most of you, but since I'm spending my time writing new chapters I'm hoping that you can forgive me. :)**

**As always, Melanie is a truly awesome beta and pretty much rules all! **

**Enjoy! **

EPOV

I stumbled over to her monstrosity of a bed and laid her down. I stood up and contemplated what I was about to do and my mind was running in two completely different directions. The logical, level-headed part of me knew that I should put my clothes on, leave immediately and hope that she would never mention this ever again. The part of me that had been deprived of female company for years was literally screaming at me to jump on top of her and finish what we had started before I fell asleep. My brother's words rang through my head.

_You can't tell me that you wouldn't love to fuck the hell out of that naughty student of yours and show her who's boss? _

Well, that certainly wouldn't happen. I had a feeling that Miss Swan was the boss here and no amount of…fucking on my part would change that. Besides, I wouldn't even know how to effectively perform such a task. I suddenly wished that I had more experience and that I really could show her that I was the one calling the shots. It had always infuriated me when she talked back and didn't show me the proper respect that my position as her professor demanded.

I looked at her with her pretty hair all fanned out over the tacky purple bedspread and her red lips that felt so good on my body, and decided that as much as I hated her behavior and usual attire I wanted to be inside her more than anything. But I knew that she had been drinking earlier, and although she seemed very experienced I didn't want to take advantage of her inebriated state.

"Are you drunk?" I blurted out.

"No," she grinned. "Why?"

"I wouldn't want to exploit you," I said.

"That's very sweet of you, Edward, but I'm a big girl and I know what I'm doing," she replied and sat up on her elbows.

"What _are_ you doing?" I asked, before I could stop myself.

"Well, by the looks of it I would say that I'm about to get fucked by my hot professor," she said with a mischievous smile.

"What are _you_ doing?" she added and looked expectantly at me.

_I have no clue. I should leave and yet I can't move my feet towards the door. _

"I don't know," I told her honestly and ran a hand through my hair. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"You want to sleep with me, don't you?" she asked.

"Yes," I said curtly.

"And I want to sleep with you," she said. "What's there to think about?"

_My career as an educator, your reputation, the fact that you will be in my class again on Friday annoying the hell out of me. _

"Look Edward, I can see that you're nervous," she said and sat back up on the bed. "But you really shouldn't over think this. It's just sex. It's supposed to be fun, remember?"

Sex had never exactly been fun for me. It had been somewhat awkward and had left me feeling inadequate because I hadn't been able to show the woman that I was dating a good time. I had never had any problems rising to the occasion, so to speak, and I always finished but I was the only one in the bed who was satisfied when we were done. This girl was clearly used to enjoying herself, and that only made me even more apprehensive. What if she laughed at me because I didn't know how to touch her? All my knowledge and all my academic achievements didn't matter at all in her bedroom where I was a novice. She was looking up at me, obviously waiting for me to say something. Then she held up her hand in invitation and gave me a smile.

_Stay or go? Stay or go? Stay or go?_

The part of me that had missed feeling a woman's body wrapped around mine won out. I had already broken the rules, and if I was going to get fired anyway I might as well do it thoroughly. I took her hand and she pulled me down to lay between her parted legs. She felt warm and soft under me and I sought her lips with mine. I kissed her softly and she parted her lips so I could slide my tongue into her mouth. She tasted sweet like honey from the tea and I felt myself get harder when she moaned. I pulled back and looked her.

"You won't tell anyone?" I whispered.

She shook her head.

"I don't fuck and tell," she said with that lopsided grin of hers. "I swear."

I didn't know how much giving me her word really meant to her, and if she would betray the trust I was about to put in her. But I couldn't see any deception in her eyes and I needed this badly. What we had done earlier was more than enough to incriminate me, and I couldn't do anything about that now. I also couldn't bring myself to regret it because I had never known pleasure like that before in my somewhat long life.

"Just forget that I'm your student," she said. "I'm Isabella and you're Edward. We want each other and that's all there is."

That wasn't all there was and I knew it. But I suppose I could try to forget that she always had a smart comeback for everything and didn't seem the slightest bit intimidated by me. I could probably also forget that her clothes looked like something out of the awful music videos I saw on TV sometimes, and that her makeup was smudged beyond belief. I focused on her eyes and suddenly realized that she wasn't wearing any right now. She must have removed it while I was sleeping and she looked so much better this way. Her hair was loose, her face was clean and the red satin robe she was wearing made the color of her lips stand out.

"You are beautiful," I said out of nowhere, because right now she truly was.

Her eyes widened and she smiled.

"Thank you," she said. "No one's ever called me that before."

"Really?" I asked, finding that a little hard to believe. I was sure that plenty of young men were into her look.

"Hot, sexy, smoking. Never beautiful. You look insanely hot with your messy hair and your body is amazing," she said, unabashed and ran her hands down my naked back. "You should show it off a little more."

"You should cover yours up a little more," I countered and played with a strand of her soft hair.

She snorted.

"Why would I do something like that? If you've got it, flaunt it."

"I don't know. You can do whatever you want," I said, feeling an argument coming on if I didn't shut up soon.

"You bet your sweet ass I can," she said with a sexy smile and grabbed my butt. "And right now I want you to fuck me, Edward."

_Jesus, she really isn't afraid of voicing her opinion on any subject!_

She pressed me down on her and I breathed out heavily when I felt the warmth between her legs against my erection. She raised her head and kissed me passionately and I forgot to feel nervous when her tongue brushed against mine and she ran her hands up and down my back. I leaned down into the kiss and she relaxed her head on the bed. I leaned on one elbow and ran my other hand through her long hair and down the side of her body. I repeated this a few times trying to gather the courage to touch her breast, but apparently Isabella was getting impatient with my hesitant approach. She pushed on my shoulders and rolled us over until she was straddling me like before and opened her robe. She slid it off and I once again stared at her naked upper body.

"You've got great tits," I blurted out.

_What did I just say??!_

I clamped my hand over my mouth as if that could somehow retract the statement I had just made. I felt horrible that I had said something so vulgar. It was such an Emmett remark to make and I hadn't realized that my brother had influenced me with his crass language. I looked at her and I was sure that she could see that panic in my eyes.

"Edward, calm down," she said with a small laugh. "You're not the first person who has told me that I have a nice rack."

She took my hand away from my mouth and placed it on her breast.

"Touch me," she said and pulled me up in a sitting position.

She began placing small kisses on my neck and moved up to my ear where she sucked on my earlobe and took it between her teeth. I brought my other hand up and cupped both of her amazing breasts. I fondled them gently and turned my head to kiss her neck like she had done to me earlier.

"Oh, that's nice," she sighed.

"You like this?" I asked and sucked a little on her soft skin.

"Mm-hmm," she hummed.

Hearing that she liked what I was doing emboldened me and I brushed my thumbs over her nipples and I felt them getting harder. She moaned softly and ground herself down on my erection.

_Oh, that feels good!_

I moved my mouth up and nipped at her earlobe like she had done to me and rubbed her nipples a little harder.

"Fuck, that's good," she whispered. "Pinch them."

I wouldn't dream of denying her this since she was actually enjoying my touch and did what she told me. She let out a breathy moan and rotated her hips again. She pulled on my neck and made me lower us down so I was on top again. I kissed her lips and she responded eagerly with her tongue and fisted her hands in my hair. She tugged on it which felt incredible and made me move my mouth down to her neck again where I sucked and placed gentle bites.

"Mmm…Lower," she sighed.

I moved down to her chest and ghosted my lips over her soft skin. I wasn't exactly sure how to do this, but she seemed to like what I had done so far. I kissed around one of her nipples and watched completely fascinated as it pebbled and got even harder than before.

"Ugh, don't tease me," she whimpered.

I wasn't aware that I possessed the ability to tease a woman sexually, but the statement made me swell with pride. She really liked what I was doing, and apparently wanted more. I dragged my tongue over it and she drew in a sharp breath. I repeated this a few times and switched to the other one. Her hips were moving rhythmically under me and I looked up at her face.

"You're turning me on like crazy," she said with a grin. "I can't wait to feel you inside me."

I stared at her in wonder. She was really enjoying this.

"Feel how wet you've made me," she whispered.

_Oh god, the things that come out of that pretty mouth of hers._

I sat up slowly between her parted legs and lowered my eyes to her tiny red panties. I swallowed and looked up at her again.

"Take them off," she said.

I hooked my fingers under the lacy fabric and she lifted her lower body when I pulled them down. I looked at her and actually gasped. She was bare. Completely. My mouth went dry as I gawked at her while she lay there completely at ease with her legs spread. I had no idea what to do next. Well, I had some ideas but I wasn't exactly sure how to go about the whole thing. Should I lie down next to her and kiss her first, or simply touch her now in my sitting position?

"Touch me," she said softly.

"How?" I asked and swallowed again nervously.

She took my left hand and pressed my thumb to a spot above her opening.

"Rub my clit," she said.

_Her clit?! Oh. OH! _

I moved my thumb slowly in a circle and my heart almost jumped out of my chest when she closed her eyes and arched her back.

"Fuck, that's it, baby," she sighed and bit her bottom lip.

_Did she just call me 'baby'? _

I decided not to dwell on it and increased the pressure a little to see how she would react.

"Yes," she moaned. "I want your fingers inside me, Edward."

I ran my right hand down her inner thigh and felt how incredibly soft her skin was there. I could clearly see her opening and took a deep breath before I slowly slid two fingers into her.

"Oh God," I breathed out, when I felt how warm and wet she was.

I moved my fingers slowly in and out of her and this made her whimper and move her hips with me. I continued to rub her with my thumb at the same time and stared completely mesmerized at her. It was without a doubt the most erotic thing I had ever seen and I could feel my erection straining against my boxers. Touching her like this and witnessing how much she liked it was far more arousing than any of my other sexual experiences combined.

"Oh, I want your cock inside me, Edward," she gasped.

Before I could think or do anything she sat up and I removed my hands from her. She pushed me up against all her ridiculous pillows by the headboard and pulled off my boxers before opening a drawer in her nightstand where she took out a condom. I was thankful that she had one since I didn't, and I was much too petrified about STDs to ever consider having unprotected sex with a woman. She rolled the condom on me quickly and straddled me.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" she whispered in my ear and ran her hands through my hair.

"God, yes," I heard myself say.

Her lips met mine in a heated kiss and I felt her fingers wrap themselves around my length and lower herself onto me slowly. I broke the kiss and inhaled sharply when I felt her warm tightness envelop me completely.

"Jesus Christ," I moaned.

She kissed me again and raised herself up before pushing down again. She whimpered in my mouth and started to move faster. I cupped her breasts and caressed them while she moved her mouth to my ear and nibbled on it. She began rotating her hips every time she lowered herself and this only increased the intense pleasure I was experiencing. I ran my hands up and down her back, buried my face in her neck and crushed her against my chest.

"God, you feel…you feel so…" I couldn't describe it accurately.

"I know," she moaned and moved even faster.

She placed her hands on my thighs and leaned back on them. I was completely captivated by the sight of her when she started riding me again. I could see all of her and the light from all of the candles made her skin glow as she moved on me. I had never been with a woman in such a way. There was nothing awkward about this because the pleasure made me forget about being nervous. There was no fumbling because she had taken complete control of the situation.

"Touch me, Edward."

I ran my hand over her breast and pinched her nipple as she had shown me earlier. Then I lowered it down her stomach and finally stopped where she had shown me to touch her. I started rubbing her and her response was almost immediate. She threw her head back and moaned loudly which only made me harder inside her. She was grinding herself down on me at a frantic pace and she was incredible to behold; her eyes were closed, her lips parted slightly, her long hair cascading down her shoulders, her beautiful breasts bounced with every move she made.

"Edward, oh fuck," she called out and I saw her body tremble.

Her movements became erratic I could feel that I was only seconds away from finishing but I tried to fight if off a little longer. Just then I felt her tighten around my length followed by a loud cry from her lips.

"Oh God. Are you?" I asked.

I couldn't believe that I had never experienced something like this before. How could I have thought that my previous experiences had been satisfying for me? Isabella was close to having an orgasm right in front of me and knowing that I had finally gotten it right filled me with pride. I didn't have time to bask in the glow of my newfound sense of accomplishment because she reached behind her and massaged my balls in her hand and this set me off. I grabbed a hold of her hips and slammed her down on me, lifted her up and repeated over and over again.

"Yes! Oh, fuck me, baby!" she shouted.

"Isabella. Ah, so good!" I groaned.

I could feel my hips rise as I pushed her down one last time and came harder than I ever had before. My toes curled, my body was wound tighter than a spring and I finally let out a loud garbled version of her name before everything was reduced into sensations of pleasure that washed over me.

"Oh fuck, that was amazing," I heard her pant.

I opened my eyes and Isabella was slumped forward still breathing heavily. Her skin was flushed and her eyes were closed. I pulled her forward and held her against my chest while my breathing calmed down. Her head was resting on my shoulder and I brushed her hair away and placed soft kisses on her neck. Suddenly I stopped.

_What am I doing? She is not my girlfriend! She is just a really aggravating girl who I happened to sleep with. I don't even like her!_

I gently pushed her up in a sitting position again and she smiled before she moved off me and stretched out on the bed.

"I need the bathroom," I said and almost fell over my own feet because of my quick escape.

After I had removed the condom and thrown it out I leaned on the sink and stared at myself in the mirror. What was I doing? I wasn't the sort of person to do something like this. Everything I had ever worked for could be gone in an instant if Isa- if Ms. Swan blabbed about this to her friends. The sex was undoubtedly the best I had ever had, but it wasn't worth risking my whole career for. I had to get out of here now. I took a deep breath and walked back into the bedroom. She was still lying on her side completely naked and I couldn't stop my eyes from roaming over her. She really was very, very pretty without her makeup and odd hairstyle choices, and her body was just heavenly with long shapely legs, a firm round backside, a flat stomach, slender arms and of course those beautiful breasts.

She was resting her head on her arm and looked completely tranquil where as I had turned back into the nervous fool I was when we first walked in. I remembered that I was still naked as well and had the urge to cover up immediately. I walked over to the bed and quickly put on my boxers which made me feel a little less exposed. I felt her shift on the bed and looked at her. She was wearing a dazzling smile and suddenly sat up and kissed my lips softly.

"You can stay over if you'd like," she said when she pulled back and jumped off the bed gracefully.

_Oh no. That will only give her the wrong impression!_

"Um, thanks but I should probably get home," I said.

"Ok," she said in a light casual tone and shrugged her shoulders.

I looked at her as she put her satin robe back on and padded into the kitchen. I put my clothes and my glasses back on and sat down on the bed, not really sure what I was going to do now. She came back out after a few minutes holding a plate with a sandwich and some grapes plus a soda and I stood up quickly.

"Oh, you're still here," she said, clearly surprised to see me. "Did you change your mind?"

_She thought I would just leave without saying goodbye? Wait, is that what one does in this type of situation? But that seems so rude._

"I, um…"

_God, I have no idea what I'm going to say next. What is it about this girl that turns me into a complete imbecile?_

"Would you like a sandwich?" she asked and put hers down on the nightstand. "I was just going to watch some TV before I crash."

"Ok, thank you."

_What? I'm actually staying?_

She smiled and walked back into the kitchen. I sat there trying to figure when my mouth had developed a mind of its own and just started blurting out words at random. To the best of my knowledge it had never happened before but it seemed to have become a regular occurrence in the past few hours. I sat back down on the bed feeling flabbergasted and nervous about spending time with Is-

_Ms. Swan, damn it! Her name is Ms. Swan and she is your student!_

I had just decided to tell her that I was leaving when she came back in and handed me soda and a plate with what looked like a huge turkey sandwich. I couldn't go without eating it since she had gone through the trouble of making it, and I put the plate in my lap which was fairly awkward.

"Don't you have a dining table?" I asked, realizing immediately what a truly inane question it was since I could clearly see that she didn't.

"Nope," she said and started to prop pillows up behind her back to sit comfortably against the headboard. "Can you hand me my plate and the remote?"

"Where do you eat your dinner?" I asked after I had gotten myself somewhat situated on the bed.

I didn't know why I was asking her this since I naturally didn't care what she did outside of the classroom.

"I don't eat at home a lot," she said and turned on the TV. "I'm usually at one of my girlfriends' or out. I'm a pretty shitty cook so it's probably a good thing."

I gave my sandwich a dubious glance but decided that it looked edible. She was already wolfing hers down like she hadn't eaten in days and it was a pretty interesting thing to watch, so naturally she caught me staring at her.

"Sorry," she said with a grin. "Fucking makes me really hungry."

_Charming. _

"Do you have to call it that?" I asked in an annoyed tone.

"What, fucking? What else would you call it?" she asked and took another bite.

I didn't know what to tell her. Lovemaking was definitely out of the question and sex just sounded so…Well, it didn't sound right, impersonal, somehow. Intercourse was too clinical and then I was pretty much out of options.

"Never mind," I muttered and took a bite of my sandwich, which incidentally was delicious.

She had turned her attention to the TV and didn't seem interested in talking with me anymore. This bothered me immensely. I may not have been the greatest conversationalist but I wasn't a completely lost cause. At least I hoped she didn't see me as a mindless moron when it came to small talk.

_Why do I even care? I'll eat the sandwich and get home to where things make sense again. _

"This is very good," I said, trying to get her attention again for some unknown reason.

"Thanks," she said with a quick smile. "Sandwiches and soup are just about all I can manage not to screw up preparing."

She yawned and stretched her arms above her head before getting off the bed and heading into the bathroom. I finished my sandwich and decided that now was a good time to get going since she was obviously headed for bed. I put my plate in the sink and was surprised to see that the kitchen was somewhat tidy compared the rest of the place. When I came back out she was flinging pillows off the bedspread and had turned out most of the lights. Only a few candles flickered across the walls and I observed her quietly while she made the bed ready. She took the bed spread off and turned down the covers and my jaw dropped when she opened her robe and let it drop to the floor. I think I may have made a sound because she turned around and approached me. Once again I couldn't stop my eyes from taking in every inch of her naked body.

"Are you staying?" she asked when she stood in front of me, completely unashamed about her nakedness.

"No," I screeched and cleared my throat. "No, I have to get home."

"Alright," she said with a smile. "This was fun. I'll see you in class Friday."

She gave me a quick peck on my cheek, turned and walked over to the bed and I watched as she crawled under the covers.

"Goodnight," I said.

"Goodnight," she said and yawned sleepily again. "Drive safe, Edward."

"Thanks, you too," I answered, before I realized what I actually said.

_Get out of here, moron._

She laughed a little and shifted in the bed. I stared when the covers moved revealing her naked breasts to me again. For a fleeting second I wondered what it might be like to spend the night in her bed. She was warm, soft and sweet-smelling, and I had to admit that didn't sound too terrible.

_No, don't even go there. _

"Um, yeah. 'Bye then," I said ineloquently and walked over to the door.

I turned to look again and she waved at me from the bed. I lifted my hand awkwardly and returned it before I stepped outside and closed the door behind me. It shut with a small click, effectively locking me out of her apartment and I decided that this was probably a good thing.

I drove home quickly, anxious to return to a normal place where things once again were organized and matched after having spent the night in a place where chaos and disorder ruled. I thought about Ms. Swan again when I entered my apartment and wondered what she would think of it: Clean surfaces, matching furniture, and a hint of Lysol smell. She would probably hate it as much as I hated her place. I went to bed and slipped under the cool crisp white sheets dressed in my pajamas. I closed my eyes and knew that sleep would come to me quickly tonight since two powerful orgasms in the same night certainly wasn't an everyday occurrence in my life and I had even gone to the gym as well. As I lay there in my cool bedroom with its white walls and unadorned bed, my last thoughts before I drifted off to sleep were about a pretty girl in a warm glowing room lying in a huge monstrosity of a bed, soft and naked under the covers. And in my dreams that night she wasn't alone.

**Oh Edward, finally I you had some decent sex. (Even if you don't like Ms. Swan) **

**Let me know what you think. :) **


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Back with more! **

**Some of you have requested an IPOV but I don't think that will happen anytime soon, sorry. I planned this story to be all EPOV but I may throw an Isabella chapter in there if I feel that it's necessary at some point. **

**As always, a huge thanks to Melanie even though she was peeved that I didn't do more mistakes in this chapter for her to correct. I swear I'll do worse next time, my friend! Lol! **

**Thank you for your support and your lovely reviews! They make for very entertaining reading. :) **

**I hope you enjoy the morning after Edward did the deed.**

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

I blinked a couple of times and frowned when I saw the light coming in through the window in my bedroom. It wasn't early morning and I had no idea how long I had slept. I lifted my arm and looked at my watch.

_11.30!!_

I couldn't remember ever sleeping that late before and I realized that I was already running late to meet my brother for lunch downtown. I rolled out of bed and felt my muscles protest a little. I hadn't stretched after my workout yesterday and now I was paying for it. I did however feel extremely well-rested and energized. I rushed into the bathroom and turned on the shower while I stripped off my pajamas and boxers. I stepped under the warm spray and let it soothe the sore muscles in my upper body. I was washing my hair when an image from last nights dream came rushing back to me:

Ms. Swan on her knees in front of me and I had my hand wrapped tightly around her ponytail while I was thrusting into her hot mouth. She was looking up at me with lust-filled yet innocent eyes as I completely controlled both her and the situation.

_Jesus Christ! What is wrong with me?!_

I had never had the desire to exert power over a woman before, but now I remembered the dream vividly and how I had taken her roughly while she screamed with pleasure. Clearly, this must have been a reaction to the sandwich I had eaten at her place before leaving. It wasn't healthy to eat before bedtime and I had heard that it could cause nightmares. I didn't have those inclinations and I was positive that Ms. Swan didn't either. She obviously liked controlling the situation in the bedroom and my dream version of her was the complete opposite of the woman that I had slept with last night.

_I slept with my student! My highly annoying, badly dressed, foulmouthed student!_

I banged my forehead against the shower wall twice.

"Ow!" I rubbed the spot with my fingers feeling utterly ridiculous.

I finished up and dried off quickly, hoping that I might shake off the memory of last night by getting back to my regular routine. I would meet Emmett for lunch a few times a week since I was only on campus three out of five days and he spent most nights out. He worked as a manager of a sporting goods store although it seemed that he was hardly ever there, and usually was out to all hours of the night. The bar was mostly run by his friend Jasper so Emmett had plenty of time to womanize and have what he considered to be fun.

I didn't know why he wanted to spend so much time with me since he clearly thought of me as boring, but it probably had something to do with him thinking that I was lonely which was preposterous of course. I enjoyed my own company, my books and my TV. I couldn't deny that it would be nice to have a lady friend to spend time with, and some day I did want a family of my own. But there seemed to be a shortage of appropriate women in my limited social circle, and most of my friends had already settled down and had children and wives.

I dressed in one of my usual outfits, shaved and looked at my hair. Emmett had said that it looked like I had a comb over with the way I usually did it, but it looked strange just sticking out in all different directions. I sighed heavily and decided to leave it as it was. I was sure to get an earful from my brother if I tried to style it in any way.

When I reached the café I saw him sitting outside already and hurried over.

"Hey bro, I almost gave up on you," he said and gave me a strange look. "You're late, and you're usually never late."

"I know," I said and sat down across from him. "Sorry about that, I overslept."

"_You_ overslept?" he asked incredulously. "I guess hell just froze over."

I didn't offer an explanation. As far as Emmett knew I had gone home before 9 last night and I had no convincing lie to tell him.

"Burning the midnight oil?" he asked with a concerned look on his face. "You shouldn't work so much Edward. It's not good for you."

I just nodded and looked at my menu.

"Although," he added and I looked up to see that he was smiling. "You do look a lot better than yesterday. Either I need glasses too, or the vein has mysteriously vanished."

Reflexively I touched my forehead to where the aforementioned vein may have been a little prominent before and watched as my brother grinned wickedly.

"Did you have a nice little session of self loving after seeing your Ms. Swan on that table last night?" he asked and made a completely crude motion with his hand.

"Emmett!" I hissed.

"What?" he asked. "It's not like it's going to make you blind. There's nothing wrong with a game of Jack Kerou-whacking to ease a little tension."

_Jack Kerou-whacking?!_

"I made that one up just for you," he added with a grin.

I rolled my eyes, although I had to admit that his pun was somewhat clever.

"So did you?" he asked.

"Are you seriously asking me that? You should know me well enough to realize that I would never answer your question," I said sourly and hid my face behind my menu.

"I know," he said. "I just like to mess with you. You're so serious all the time, Edward. You need a little fun in your life."

"I have fun," I said defensively and lowered my menu.

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

Luckily the waitress came out to take our orders. I watched as Emmett flirted shamelessly with her and she smiled and hit his shoulder playfully as though they were old friends.

"Do you know her?" I asked him when she left.

"No, but I think I will," he said and looked after her as she walked inside. "Nice ass."

_How can women like a man who says something like that? I don't understand it at all._

I had been perfectly polite to the waitress and she had barely looked at me. But Emmett had made a suggestive comment about wanting something sweet which she apparently liked and told him to try the apple pie for dessert. I really didn't comprehend women at all.

"How can you just talk to women like that?" I asked. "Don't they ever get offended?"

"No, why would they?" he asked. "I always look for a wedding ring first, and if they're single it's my experience that most girls like a little innocent flirting to brighten their day."

I supposed that made sense in a strange way.

"Why do you think your Ms. Swan is always flirting with you?" he asked. "She's probably trying to cheer you up a little. Pretty decent of her if you ask me."  
A terrifying thought popped into my head:

_Did she sleep with me because she feels sorry for me?! Out of pity?!_

It seemed plausible enough. She was young, bizarre and pretty, and I assumed that guys her age liked that a lot. She had plenty of options to choose from and she probably could have had her pick of the men at Emmett's bar last night. It made me feel horrible to think that she may have only wanted to be with me as an act of charity because I was so socially inept.

"Plus it sounds like she's into you," he added, unbeknownst of my inner turmoil.

I hoped that he was right. She had after all called me both good-looking and…

_What was it? Insanely hot? That didn't sound like pity. Plus she did have an orgasm._

I didn't know why that was important to me, but it was. I liked knowing that she had enjoyed herself since it had been the best sex of my life, and I had never intended to be selfish in bed. I had just never been with a woman who was so willing to show me what she wanted to make herself feel good. I never would have figured it out for myself, and I certainly never would have mustered up the courage to ask her.

I remembered how she had told me to touch her and how warm, wet and tight she had felt around my fingers. I felt small eager twitches in my boxers just thinking about it.

"Incoming, bro" Emmett stage whispered across from me and yanked me out of my thoughts, in which I had been on the bed with Ms. Swan while she moaned with pleasure because of my touch.

"What?" I asked confused.

His eyes were fixed somewhere behind me and like the imbecile I was, I turned and looked. Ms. Swan and her two friends from last night were sauntering down the sidewalk in our direction, talking and laughing loudly.

_In two months I have never seen her outside of class and now that I've slept with her, I see her the day after?! The universe is against me, I swear it is!_

I faintly registered saying something and whipped my head around towards Emmett again.

"Dude, did you just say 'shit'?" he asked, looking both shocked and amused.

_Did I? I hardly recognize myself anymore._

I ducked my head and desperately wished that I had a menu to hide behind. I could hear her laughing just a few feet behind me and it sent tingles up and down my spine.

_Please don't notice me, please don't notice me!_

"Edward!"

_Of course. Why did I even bother trying to hide?_

I looked up and she was all bright smile and pretty brown eyes staring back at me. My eyes wandered down her body and she was wearing a tight long-sleeved shirt and a pair of yoga pants. I could just make out the shape of her nipples under the fabric and my mouth went a little dry. Under her arm she had a rolled up mat and in her hand she was holding some sort of blended ice drink. I looked at her face again and realized with complete humiliation that I had been caught ogling her like some sort of degenerate and felt my face get warmer. She simply smiled wider and gave me one of her winks.

"It's Professor Cullen," I heard myself mutter.

"Well, Edward. Who's your friend?" Emmett asked as if he didn't already know.

"Ms. Swan, this is my brother Emmett. Emmett, this is Ms. Swan," I said in a monotone voice and avoided looking at either of them as they shook hands.

"Nice to finally meet the famous Ms. Swan," I heard him say.

_I wonder what the sentence for committing fratricide is? Surely the judge would be sympathetic if I showed him video clips of Emmett's previous asinine behavior._

"I'm famous?" she asked, sounding amused. "Well, I guess I should get myself a stalker and a drinking problem then?"

Emmett laughed and when I shot him an angry look he just increased the volume of his annoying fit. 

"And who are these two lovely ladies?" he asked her and motioned to her friends.

"This is Rosalie Hale and Alice Brandon," she said "And this is my lit professor Edward Cullen and his brother Emmett."

I studied the faces of her two friends, trying to see if my name elicited some sort of reaction from them. That would certainly reveal if Ms. Swan had told them anything about our tryst last night. Their faces held neutral smiles and I breathed out with relief. They didn't seem to know anything about me.

"Nice to meet you," I said in an effort to be polite.

"Yes, very nice," Emmett crooned. "Rosalie, was it?" he asked the blonde.

"Yes," she said curtly and looked slightly bored.

"What have you been up to?" he asked her with a smile.

"Take a wild guess," she said and held up her yoga mat and looked at him as if he was dimwitted.

I decided there and then that I liked Ms. Swan's taste in friends. I turned my face to look at her and she was still smiling sweetly and took a sip of her drink. Her lips wrapped around the straw brought images from last night into my head and I quickly looked away.

"We should get going," the girl named Alice said. "We're late for our afternoon classes as it is."

"Ok, it was great seeing you again, Edward," Ms. Swan said.

"Yeah, uh, you're great," I said, and immediately had to fight the urge to bang my head on the table.

_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_

She chuckled and brushed her hand over my shoulder for a second, and it made me flinch as if I had been touched by electricity. I glanced over at my brother to see if he noticed what a gargantuan fool I had just made of myself. Thankfully, he was preoccupied with looking at Ms. Swan's friend.

"I'll see you Friday," she said and turned to leave.

"Friday," I said dumbly.

"It was nice to meet you," she said to Emmett.

"You too," he said and kept trying to get eye contact with the blonde girl.

"Have a lovely day, Rosalie," he said.

She whipped her long hair over her shoulder and sauntered away without giving him a second glance. The three of them walked down the street and I stared at Ms. Swan's backside in her very tight pants until they turned the corner. I suddenly realized that I was leaning out of my chair to do said staring, and quickly sat up straight. Emmett was looking at me with a huge grin plastered on his face.

"So, not your type at all, huh?" he asked.

"No," I muttered.

"She didn't seem annoying to me," he said. "She seemed pretty great, actually."

"I guess."

The waitress came out with our food and drinks and this time Emmett didn't flirt with her. I had a pretty good guess why he wanted to get rid her quickly.

"Bro, you need to hit that," he said.

_I hate being right. And the only thing I need to hit is you, brother dear._

"She's my student, Emmett. And I don't even like her."

"You are so full of it. You were practically drooling all over her. If that wasn't a total eye-fuck, I don't know what is."

"It wasn't," I said firmly, although I didn't have a clue what an 'eye-fuck' was.

"She did it to you too, you know?" he said. "She is totally into you."

"No, she isn't!" I said agitatedly. "I'm too old for her, and according to you I'm exceedingly boring. Can we just drop it, please?"

"I'm just saying. That little firecracker could be just what the doctor ordered to resuscitate you," he said. "If you've ever been alive," he muttered under his breath.

I sighed and started to eat my sandwich, which wasn't that good.

_Ms. Swan's was better. _

"Oh, and I really liked her friend, Rosalie. Do you think you could get me her number?" Emmett asked eagerly.

"I think that would be crossing a line," I said.

_Like I haven't done that already. _

"Besides, you only like her because she wasn't fawning over you like most women," I added with a smirk.

"Yeah, what was that about?" Emmett asked and seemed genuinely surprised. "I think it will be fun to pursue her. A little resistance makes for an interesting change."

"Well, I'm not asking Ms. Swan for her friend's number so I guess you'll have to find an alternate way of wooing the girl," I said and took a drink.

"Wooing?" he asked. "Dude, what century are you living in?"

"You're one to talk. You sound like you belong in an eighties movie when you call me dude," I said.

"Ooh, snappy comeback," he said with a huge grin. "I think Ms. Swan may be a good influence on you."

_I highly doubt that._

"Maybe I should find her on Facebook and send her a message," he mused.

"Isn't that the internet page with all the profiles?" I asked, knowing that I had heard about this before.

"Yeah, you can write stuff about yourself and publish your photos. I think I'll look her up when I get home. What was her last name?"

"I'm not telling you if you're going to write something obscene," I said.

"I won't," he obviously lied.

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Please, I swear I won't write anything offensive. I think I like this girl."

"You've known her for two minutes," I said, secretly loving the power of having a great memory.

He looked so pathetic in his attempt of making puppy dog eyes that I figured this must mean a lot to him. Besides, I didn't think he had any chance with her after having witnessed her behavior so I decided that it probably wouldn't cause any harm.

"Hale," I said. "Rosalie Hale."

"Thanks, you're the best," he said with smile.

We finished our lunch and I was grateful that Emmett didn't mention Ms. Swan again. Afterwards I went home and he said that he might go to work. I shook my head and wondered how on earth it was that my brother hadn't been fired from his job when he was hardly ever there. I turned on my computer to work on an article I was writing for a literary magazine and made some tea. I checked my emails first and saw that I had one from Emmett, which he had sent five minutes earlier. I opened it and read:

'What was her last name again?'

I chuckled and wrote back telling him that her last name was Dale. That ought to teach him to pay better attention when he learned a girl's name. Maybe it was a little mean, but I had every intention of giving him the real name later…maybe.

_I wonder if Ms. Swan is on the Facebook?_

No, it was definitely better not to know. I couldn't figure out why I even cared, and yet before I knew it I was creating a profile for myself and logging on. I typed in her name and as it turned out her profile was public so I could see it without being 'friends' with her. It was probably a good thing to look at her profile, to see what sort of person she was. It would help me decide whether or not I could trust her not to tell anyone that we had slept together. All in the name of protecting myself, of course.

Her profile picture was not at all what I expected. She was dressed up in a Halloween costume, or at least I hoped it was a costume and not one of her strange outfits. She looked just like a 1950's housewife in a red dress with white polka dots and an apron. Her hair was curly and she had red lipstick on. She was giving the camera a demure but at the same time flirty smile and I could faintly make out other people in the background.

I looked at her other photos and there were a lot of them. The albums labeled with the names of cities and countries around the world were by far the most interesting and I looked through all of them: Ms. Swan in London on a bridge where she looked out over the water as if she didn't know that she was being photographed. Ms. Swan in Brazil holding a parrot with an old man with a large moustache next to her, both of them smiling. Ms. Swan in front of the ruins of a castle in Scotland.

_Does she always travel alone?_ _No, then who would be taking the pictures? How can she afford this?_

I looked at her information and discovered that she was actually twenty-two and that she would turn twenty-three this year. Not that it made a difference. From the dates on her pictures I could see that she had done most of her travels after high school and figured that this was why she was slightly older than her classmates.

My eyes almost popped out of my head when I saw her relationship status. It said 'It's complicated.'

_It's complicated? What's complicated? Why doesn't it say 'single'? Is she seeing someone casually like Emmett does? Why am I asking myself all these questions?_

I looked at her status updates. She had written 'Yoga with the girls and then classes' a few hours ago. Then I looked down further on the screen and my heart started beating rapidly when I saw her status update from last night: 'Sometimes a boring Tuesday night becomes fun out of the blue.'

_Is she talking about me? Am I the fun she's referring to? Does she actually think I'm fun to be around? Again, what's with all the questions?_

I could deduce that she had written this after I had fallen asleep so I was fairly certain that she wasn't talking about going to Emmett's bar. I could see that a lot of people had asked her about the update and wanted to know what it meant. I held my breath as I scrolled to the bottom and saw that she had answered them with a smiley face. That was all, just a smiley face. I let out my breath. It seemed that she was trustworthy and wouldn't tell anyone about spending last night with me.

_That's a load off my mind. Now I can forget that it ever happened and things can get back to normal._

But they didn't. By Friday afternoon I was a complete nervous wreck because I would now have to see Ms. Swan in class. I was sitting in my office trying to mentally prepare myself when my colleague Ben came in and gave me a strange look.

"Hey Edward, what happened to your hair?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused and ran my hand through it.

"It looks good," he said smile. "Did you get it cut?"

"No, it just looks like this when I don't touch it after I've towel dried it," I said, wondering why on earth we were talking about my hair.

"Are you doing anything fun this weekend?" he asked.

"Dinner at my parents' tonight and I think my brother and I are going to the gym and then lunch afterwards on Sunday."

_Wow, that's actually a busy weekend for a change._

"What about you?" I asked.

"Angela and the kids want to go to the zoo, so we're going to the zoo," he said with a helpless smile. "I do miss being a bachelor sometimes and having all that time to myself."

I just smiled at him. I knew how much Ben loved his wife and their twin girls, although they could be a bit of a handful at times. And having all that time to myself was fine, but it would be nice to have someone to spend a few nights a week with. Maybe I should let Emmett set me up on a date after all? I told Ben that I had to get to class and walked there feeling more and more anxious with each step I took. I got there early and there were just a few people in the back talking when I walked in. Ms. Swan wasn't there yet and I started taking out my notes and the book that we were discussing today, which was Kerouac's famous novel "On the Road."

_Heh, Kerou-whacking. Ok, maybe that was a little funny. _

More students came in and my eyes were practically glued to the door waiting for her arrival. Just when I was beginning to think that she wasn't coming, the door opened and she breezed into the room. I groaned internally when I saw what she looked like today. She was wearing a red short sleeved t-shirt with skull logo, a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and sneakers. Her hair on the sides of her head was scooped up on top where it was fastened with pins to look like a Mohawk and the rest fell down her back.

_That can't possibly be comfortable! Oh God, and the smudgy makeup is back!_

Today she had even put on black nail polish and some dangly tacky-looking earrings. I wondered why on earth she would choose to look like this, when I now knew how pretty she was underneath it all. A guy in the back whistled when she walked to her seat.

_I guess he likes her appearance?_

I almost laughed when I saw her give him the finger, but this didn't seem to offend him in the slightest. He just grinned and turned his attention to the person next to him, as if this was completely acceptable social behavior. I didn't understand young people at all. I looked over at Ms. Swan and she gave me a smile when our eyes met before she started to unpack her bag.

Class started, and to my great surprise nothing had changed at all. Ms Swan was still as argumentative as ever and behaved like she always had in my classroom. I didn't know why I had expected her to act differently but it was as if we had never slept together and this was just another class to her.

"The entire novel is demeaning to women," Ms. Swan interrupted a guy who said that he loved the book because it was about freedom to choose your own path in life.

"I think that's a bit of an overstatement," I said.

Her eyes flared.

"It is not!" she said. "The main character describes the perfect woman as being demure, quiet and always sexually available. Is that the kind of woman that you want, Edward?"

_What? No!_

"What I want really isn't relevant for this discussion, Ms. Swan. I think you need to see the bigger picture here," I said. "That may have been what men thought at the time, but,"

"'The bigger picture' as you call it," she interrupted. "Is that this novel still sells remarkably well despite the fact that it was first published more than forty years ago. Every year ignorant yahoos who are embarking on their great adventure and go backpacking across the country buy and read this novel. They all worship Kerouc and his incessant ramblings and that includes the way he portrays women."

"But the attitude today has changed in academic literary circles when discussing the novel," I argued.

"Yes, in academic circles that may be the case," she agreed. "But the bulk of the readers aren't found there. They're out travelling right now thinking that because you're a single woman on the road that means that you're an easy lay. Because that's exactly how your precious Kerouc described them, and in my experience most guys can't tell the difference."

"But just because you have personal issues with the content doesn't mean that you should disregard the impact the novel has had on generations of young people. It made them search for alternate ways of living and do great and daring things rather than settling for conformity. That's why this is a great American novel and one of my personal favorites."

_Try and argue against that logic!_

"Really?" she said and narrowed her eyes. "And what great and daring things have the novel inspired _you_ to do, Edward?"  
I was momentarily stunned.

_If this was a movie you would hear the sound of crickets right now._

I had no idea how to respond to her question. The truth was that I hadn't ever travelled anywhere for more than a week because I had always been too busy with school and studies. I hadn't done anything great or daring in my life and I was pretty sure that Ms. Swan knew that already.

"This isn't about me," I said weakly, suddenly feeling extremely tired. "What are some other impressions of the novel?" I asked the rest of the class.

I avoided looking at her the rest of the time and after what seemed like forever I finally dismissed them. They all rushed out, obviously eager to start their weekend plans of partying and having fun. I watched as she packed up her things and left as the last one.

"Have a nice weekend," she said as she passed me.

"Are you angry with me?" I called after her, unable to stop myself.

She turned and gave me a curious look.

"No, what gave you that impression?" she asked and walked over to me.

"Um, before," I said and motioned to her seat.

"Oh no, not at all. I tend to get a little passionate about that particular topic because I've met so many idiots who all read the book and believe every word that Kerouac wrote. I have beef with him, not you," she said with a smile. "I'm sorry."

"That's ok," I said and looked down.

_Dear God, has she decorated those hideous shoes herself? It looks like she's written on them with a magic marker!_

"Well, I should get going. I'll see you Tuesday," she said and I watched as the ugliest sneakers in the whole of existence walked out of my line of sight.

"Are you doing anything fun this weekend?" I asked, remembering Ben's question from earlier and figuring that this was a very normal inquiry on a Friday afternoon.

"Yeah, I'm actually going to a concert tonight. We leave in a few minutes because we have quite a bit of driving to do," she said and walked back over.

_Oh, that explains the crazy getup…I hope. _

"We?" I asked.

"Just me and the girls," she said. "We'll probably end up sleeping in the car and come back sometime tomorrow completely hung over," she added with a laugh.

"Oh, ok," I said, not sure what to say now. "Err, that sounds like a busy weekend."

"But I'm free tomorrow night after dinner," she said. "You can stop by if you want."

_Huh? What?_

I tried to figure out what she was saying. Was she asking me over for a date?

_No, she said after dinner so it's definitely not a date. Did she ask me over for…sex?_

"You, uh, you want me to come by?" I asked, feeling more than a little taken aback by her invitation.

"Sure, if you'd like and you're not busy," she said, once again incredibly casually.

_Definitely not busy._

"I don't know, uh, I might have plans," I lied.

"Ok. Well, I'll be home if you feel like stopping by," she said. "I have to go meet the girls now."

"Yeah, um, ok, 'bye," I said extremely ineloquently.

"'Bye Edward," she said and was gone before I knew what the heck had just happened.

_Did I really just get an invitation to have sex with Ms. Swan tomorrow night? _

Did she think that I had asked about her plans because I wanted to see her? That hadn't been my intention, but had it really sounded like that? She had just made a passionate argument about not wanting to be perceived as an 'easy lay' as she had called it, and yet she had just asked me to stop by her place late at night. Was that a…what did Emmett always call it? A booty call? I ran my hands through my hair and shook my head. What would it be like if I went over there? Would she really want to kiss me, touch me and have sex with me again? I felt a very distinctive twitch in my pants when I thought about feeling her firm yet supple body pressed against mine.

I had never felt this conflicted in my life: My head and my gut were telling me that I should leave this alone and forget that she had ever asked me, but unfortunately the area below my gut was already eager to feel her warm tightness around it again. I didn't know who would win the battle and I walked to my car wondering how on earth my formerly simple existence had gotten this complicated.

**So is Edward going to make a little stop by Ms. Swan's place or will he resist temptation? Did you like this chapter?**

**By the way, I know that it's simply called Facebook and the 'the' Facebook. That's just Edward and his lack of knowledge regarding anything even remotely modern. ;)**

**I hope that you leave me a review and have a great weekend. I'll be back next week with a chapter of Taken and hopefully also The Blizzard. :) **


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Thank you all for great reviews! **

**And thank you to Melanie who looked this over even though the poor thing had to use her left hand and was high on pain killers. That's the sign of a really great beta: Killing her buzz by correcting my stupid mistakes!**

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

I drove home from the college campus feeling strangely dazed. I barely remember letting myself into my apartment but soon I was logging on to the Facebook yet again to look at Ms. Swan's page. She had updated her status today at noon:

'Going to a fuckawesome concert with Green Day in L.A!!!'

_L.A? As in Los Angeles?! But that's absolutely insane!_

I couldn't believe it. Ms. Swan had said that they had 'quite' a bit of driving to do, but that was just about the biggest understatement I had ever heard. Los Angeles was six hours away by car even without traffic. The thought of Ms. Swan driving so far with just two other girls bothered me immensely. Didn't she care at all about her own safety? They would have to pull over at rest stops on the way and I was sure that those places were just crawling with lowlifes.

_Why can't she just go to a concert here in San Francisco?_

What rational person would drive six hours straight just to see a two hour show? Well, I assumed that it lasted approximately two hours but I didn't actually know, never having attended a rock concert before. And she had said that they were going to sleep in the car? Did she do that sort of thing a lot? Why not get a nice hotel room instead? If I were to go out of town for something I would certainly never even consider spending the night in my car. Of course she had also mentioned that they would be coming back tomorrow hung over so I suppose it was a good thing that none of them would be driving after the show since apparently they would be drinking.

I thought about her offer to stop by her place tomorrow night. I felt fairly certain that she would not divulge anything to her friends or the university if I _did_ go over there again but what would be the point, really? I didn't like her and she still annoyed the hell out of me. The way that she had confronted me with my lack of adventure in life ticked me off and I wished that I could say something equally embarrassing about her.

_You have horrible taste in clothes? No, then she would probably just make fun of mine like Emmett did. _

_I hate your hair? No, too juvenile._

_You are opinionated and stubborn? No, she would most likely be proud of that._

_You are bad in bed? A definite no. I would never be able to lie that convincingly. _

I sighed and turned my computer off. I put on some classical music and lay down on the couch. I had to be at my parents' house in a few hours and I hadn't slept very well the night before. Although I had refrained from eating before bed, the nightmares continued with unmitigated strength and I had woken up painfully aroused the past two mornings, my head swimming with images of Ms. Swan and me in compromising positions. I had to put an end to this insanity. I was tired and cranky, and spent the next two hours on the couch drifting in and out of sleep to the sounds of Debussy.

When I arrived at my parents' my mood was still foul and this only increased when I saw my brother's car parked in their driveway. I desperately hoped that Emmett would keep his mouth shut about Ms. Swan in the presence of our parents since I had no desire to rip his head off in the middle of dinner.

"Edward," my mother said with a smile when she answered the door. "How many times do I have to tell you to just come in and not ring the doorbell like some stranger?"

"Sorry mom," I mumbled and gave her a hug.

I took off my coat and she ushered me into the living room where my father and brother were already sitting. I hugged my dad and avoided getting my shoulder punched by Emmett before I sat down on the couch.

"So how was class today?" Emmett asked innocently, but his motivation for asking couldn't have been more obvious to me.

I glared at him before answering with a non-committal shrug.

"Fine," I added.

"Did anything…interesting happen?" he asked with a grin.

_You mean that my annoying student, who I have incidentally slept with, pointed out that my life has in fact been predictable and safe? Does that qualify as interesting to you, soon-to-be-dead brother?_

"No," I said and looked away.

"What's going on?" my father asked.

"Nothing," I said and gave him a watery smile.

"Alright," he said and regarded both of us uncertainly. "I think I'll go help your mother in the kitchen."

The second he was out of earshot I turned to Emmett.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I hissed. "It's one thing to say something like that when we are alone, but to actually ask me about Ms. Swan right in front of dad is stepping over the line, Emmett!"

"What makes you think I was referring to your dear Ms. Swan?" he asked and looked exactly like the Cheshire cat at that moment.

"I-you- shut up, Em!" I spat. "And stop calling her 'my' Ms. Swan all the time. It's completely inappropriate and furthermore _she_ is completely inappropriate for me, so can you just drop it!"

"I just don't see why you're fighting this, bro," he said and held up his hands in defense. "Just fuck her once, don't get caught and get her out of your system."

_That doesn't work!_

"Then you can move on to your "appropriate" women," he added and made quotation marks with his fingers in the air. "Whatever that means."

"Can we please just change the topic?" I asked wearily.

"Aw, come on!" he said and pouted. "You're not even going to complain about her outfit? I've gotten used to it now."

"Fine," I said. "She was wearing black ripped jeans, hideous sneakers and a red t-shirt."

"And her hair?" he asked with hope in his voice.

I rolled my eyes and groaned.

"Some weird uncomfortable Mohawk-looking thing, but that was probably just because she's going to a rock show tonight."

Emmett's eyes widened and his face lit up.

_What? What did I just say?_

"You talked to her, didn't you?" he grinned. "You asked about her weekend plans and everything!"

"No, I, err," I stammered and tried to think of a convincing lie.

"I totally knew that you liked her!" he exclaimed with unmasked glee.

"I don't," I said helplessly. "I, err, I overheard her telling some of the other students before class."

"Uh-huh," he said, obviously not convinced. "Sure you did."

"Just shut up about this in front of mom and dad," I said dejectedly. "I'm not sure they would find it amusing that you think I like one of my students in a romantic way."

"Romantic?" he said and made a face. "I just want you to get your dick wet."

_Gross, Emmett!_

"And I'm sure they would like you talking like that even less," I said.

"Alright, alright. Your secret's safe with me," he said and gave me a conspiratorial wink.

"There's no secret," I muttered, although there was. Emmett didn't know the half of it.

We sat down to dinner and I was pleased that he didn't mention anything else that would have forced me to plunge my fork into his arm.

"Edward," my mother said when we were having dessert. "You're not seeing anyone right now, are you?"

This was a completely rhetorical question since my mother already knew that I was in fact single in every way imaginable. I could see Emmett sit up straighter and shot him what I hoped was a menacing look.

"No," I said. "Why?"

"One of my friends has a daughter who has recently moved here and she doesn't know that many people in town. Would you maybe like to take her out one night?"

_My mother is setting me up on a blind date? How pathetic is my life?_

"I don't know," I said reluctantly.

"I'll do it!" Emmett piped up.

"No," she said firmly to him.

"Why not?" he whined. "I would show her a really good time."

"That's what I'm afraid of," she said and gave him a stern look.

Our parents were aware of Emmett's womanizing ways and I had overheard several conversations between them where they worried about their sons. One was a regular Lothario and I was basically a monk. I didn't know what they thought was worse.

"Edward, this woman is just right for you," my mother coaxed. "She's thirty-one, she teaches high school and she's very down to earth."

"Boring," Emmett mouthed silently across from me.

"I guess so. What's her name?" I asked.

"Kate. Should I give her mother your number so that she can call you?"

"Sure, I suppose that would alright," I answered with a shrug.

"Wait, you're not even going to ask what she looks like?" Emmett asked.

I rolled my eyes at him, yet again. As long as she wore decent clothes and knew how to apply her makeup without using a paintbrush I couldn't care less.

"Wonderful," my mother said. "I'll tell her to give you a call then."

I nodded and dove into my cheesecake although I didn't have any appetite. I hated meeting someone new and all the anxiety and nervousness it brought with it. I didn't know how my brother did it, dating a new woman every week and feeling perfectly at ease with all of them.

The second we left the house later that night he pounced on me.

"You're not really going to go out with that dull dud when you have a little firecracker like Ms. Swan, are you?"

"First of all, Kate sounds like a perfectly lovely woman and second, I _don't _have Ms. Swan. She is just my student, Emmett," I said and ran my hand through my hair.

"If you say so," he muttered. "I just want you to have a little fun, Edward. Not always focus so much on work"

"I do have fun," I defended myself. "We're still on for the gym and lunch afterwards on Sunday, right?"

"Yeah, I have a date tomorrow night but I plan on going to bed early."

"Really?" I asked and raised my eyebrows.

"Oh yeah, I should have her between the sheets before ten," he guffawed.

"I thought you were devoted to getting Ms. Swan's friend," I said. "You said that you liked her."

"I do. But since you won't get me her number and I can't find her online there's not a lot I can do," he said.

"Oh," I snickered. "Her last name is actually Hale, not Dale."

"What?!" he yelled. "I've spent hours looking for Rosalie Dale."

I just grinned at him.

"Well played, bro," he said and actually looked impressed. "Now you're starting to have a little fun. Even if it is at my expense."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself," I said and patted him on the back.

"That's fine, just remember that payback is a bitch," he said with a grin. "Do you want to come over to the bar for a little while and have a beer?"

"Sure, why not," I said and saw his face light up.

"Excellent. Just follow me there," he said and got into his flashy car while I walked over to my sensible and safe Volvo.

The next day was just horrible. I still wasn't sure what I should do about Ms. Swan's invitation to come by her apartment later. I tried to get some work done but ended up watching movies instead in an effort to distract myself. I checked the Facebook around dinnertime and saw that she had updated.

"Fan-fucking-tastic concert!!!"

_Jesus, can't she even write without swearing?_

One of her girlfriends had asked her if she wanted to come to a party as a response to her update and my mouth went dry.

_Maybe she forgot about asking me?_

An hour passed before she answered her friend's query.

"Thanks, but I'm looking forward to a night at home," she had written and then ended it with another one of her smiley faces.

_She is definitely expecting me then. What am I going to do?_

I paced back and forth, skipped dinner entirely since I was too wound up to eat and was still no closer to a decision. As much as I hated to admit it I desperately wanted to sleep with her again. I wanted to feel her lips on mine, her tongue in my mouth, her soft breasts in my hands, and her warm wet tightness around me. The dreams had only added fuel to the burning need I had to be inside her again and just thinking about it made my erection throb.

But I knew that it was wrong on every level. If I got caught that was the end of my career and my reputation would be ruined forever in academic circles. Could I really risk everything simply to spend an hour with a girl who irritated me and who I didn't even like?

No. No, I couldn't do that.

I sat down on the couch and breathed out. Now I could finally relax again. I took a quick shower and while I was dressing an image of Ms. Swan looking at her watch flashed before my eyes. Would she be upset? I was after all basically standing her up, wasn't I? I hadn't liked it the one time that had happened to me in college, and I suddenly felt guilty about doing the same thing to Ms. Swan.

_Maybe I should just go over there and explain that we can't see each other again outside the classroom? _

That sounded reasonable enough. Then she could attend the party that she had been invited to and I could come home, and things could go back to normal. I contemplated if it was better to simply send her a message on the Facebook but decided against it immediately. If I did that she would know that I had been perusing her profile like some sort of internet stalker, and I really didn't want her to think of me in such a way.

I finished dressing quickly and went out to my car, anxious for this insanity to be over and done with.

Thirty minutes later I found myself sitting in my car outside Ms. Swan's apartment and I hadn't moved a muscle since I parked five minutes earlier.

_This is so ridiculous! Just go up there and tell her 'thanks but no thanks'. _

My heart was pounding in my chest and I breathed in deeply through my nose and let it out again. I wasn't breaking up with her, but for some reason I was still worried about her reaction when I told her that I didn't want to sleep with her again. I was also concerned that she would see straight through my lie. I did want to sleep with her again. Remembering how her hands and mouth had felt on my face and body excited me more than anything ever had, and I was worried that if she touched me I wouldn't be able to control myself. I couldn't let that happen.

_I will just stay outside her door and politely thank her for the invitation and then decline. _

I finally exited the car and walked slowly up the stairs to her door. Just thinking that she was on the other side waiting for me was making me jittery and lightheaded.

_This will be just fine. You are a grown man, and no matter how great the sex was you are perfectly capable of resisting her. Just stay outside of her apartment and give her the message quickly. _

I took another calming breath and knocked on her door. After a few seconds it flew up and Ms. Swan appeared.

"Edward, thank the fucking lord, you're here," she exclaimed.

Before I could open my mouth to deliver my practiced speech she grabbed a hold of my jacket collar and pulled me inside her apartment and slammed the door behind me.

_Ok, so that didn't really work out how I'd planned it!_

"I am so glad that you're here," she said and pushed me towards her bathroom while I wondered what on earth was going on.

"There is a huge, and I mean fucking humongous spider in there and I need you to kill it," she said.

"Err, ok?" I said and scratched my neck.

"I mean it, Edward," she said and looked so serious that I almost laughed. "You go 'Kill Bill' on its ass, ok?"

_Kill Bill?_

"Bill who?" I asked.

"Fucking hell," she said and gave me her lopsided grin. "How old are you anyway?"

I didn't have time to give her an answer before she spoke again.

"Ok, you go 'Rambo' on its ass. You do know who Rambo is, right?" she teased.

I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, and I'm pretty sure that you weren't even born when the first movie came out," I said. "I'll kill it good and proper, I swear."

I walked into the bathroom and sure enough there was a spider on the wall. It really wasn't as big as she had led me to believe but I squashed it with a piece of toilet paper before flushing it down the toilet.

"All gone," I said when I walked back out.

"You're sure it's dead?" she asked and peeked into the bathroom. "It won't jump up on my ass the second I sit down?"

"Positive, I crushed it. It was very brutal, I promise," I said with a smile.

She was giving me a strange look.

"What?" I asked.

"I've never seen you smile before," she said. "You should do it more often."

I realized that she was probably right. I couldn't remember ever having smiled at something in class.

"Ok," I said dumbly.

Her eyes travelled over me slowly and I felt my heart start to race again. I finally got a good look at her and saw that she was only wearing a short white satin robe, her hair was slightly damp and she didn't have any makeup on her face. She looked so young and innocent like this, but her eyes betrayed that image. I felt my breath hitch in my throat when she stood up on her toes and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Well, you are officially my hero, Edward Cullen," she said. "How can I reward you for your bravery?"

_Oh God, oh God! This was not the way this was supposed to go!_

I swallowed audibly when she pressed herself against me and lifted her face to mine.

"Maybe with a kiss?" she asked.

I nodded as if I was a puppet and she was pulling my strings. She dropped to her knees faster than I could react and started undoing my pants eagerly.

"Wait," I heard myself say. "What are you doing?"

"I didn't specify where I wanted to kiss you," she answered and grinned mischievously.

_She wants to…But she shouldn't! Tell her to stop, tell her to stop!_

"Oh God!" I moaned loudly when I felt her pull out my erection, kiss the head and slide it into her warm mouth.

She pulled almost all the way back and used her tongue on the most sensitive part before taking me back in until I felt myself hit the back of her throat.

"Jesus Christ," I panted and tried to remain in control as she added suction to her ministrations.

My hands moved of their own accord and I rested them lightly on the back of her head where I gently caressed her soft hair. This made her moan around my length and I looked down at her.

_She's watching me!_

I met her eyes for a second before I dropped my gaze to her pretty mouth. The sight of her red lips wrapped around my length caused me to groan loudly and I felt myself hardening further. It was so beautifully erotic and the thought of stopping her disappeared completely. This was too good to deny my sexually starved body and I threw myself into the sensation and the image of her kneeling in front of me. Her hands ran up my legs and gently kneaded my buttocks. She moaned again and then I felt her push my hips forward which made me slide deeper into her mouth.

_Does she want me to do it? It's just like my dream!_

I thrust forward gently and looked into her eyes. She hummed affirmatively and I felt her tongue caress me. My hands in her hair gripped her a little tighter as I began moving in and out of her mouth slowly. In the back of my mind I couldn't help feeling a little guilty about using her like this for my selfish pleasure. But she did seem to like it and when she moaned again and started using her right hand to gently massage my balls I forgot my apprehension. I thrust faster and before long I could feel myself start to come undone.

"Oh, I'm going to…come," I panted. "Is that, oh God, is that ok?"

I felt her hum and suck harder, and it brought me over the edge and I moaned loudly as I came in her mouth. My body shivered under the intense pleasure I was feeling and I couldn't for the life of me remember why I had considered turning down her invitation. Her hands held tightly onto my hips and I felt her warm tongue work its way up until she released me and pulled up my pants and boxers. I was still breathing heavily and stroked her hair when I opened my eyes and looked at her. She smiled widely and pulled herself up, using my forearms as leverage.

"Why did you do that?" I asked and drew a deep breath.

She smiled wickedly and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"Thank you for killing the eight legged monster," she said.

"I didn't do it because I wanted you to do, um _that_," I said quickly and motioned to the floor.

"I know," she said simply.

My stomach growled loudly and I discovered that I was completely ravenous all of a sudden.

"Hmm, it seems I'm not the only one who gets hungry from fucking," she said with a small laugh. "I'll order us some pizza, ok?"

I nodded and tried to figure out what one usually did in this type of situation. I had shown up at her door intent on telling her that I didn't want a physical relationship, and ten minutes later she had performed oral sex on me as if it was the most natural thing in the world. She went to her computer and looked at a website.

"What do you want on your half?" she asked.

"You order it on the computer?" I asked.

"Of course," she said without turning. "How else would you do it?"

"Um, with a menu and a phone," I said, feeling ancient.

She laughed and turned to give me a smile.

"You're funny," she said. "What did you want?"  
_I'm funny? I've never been accused of that before!_

"Um, whatever you're having, I'm not picky," I said and sat down in her beat-up armchair.

I looked around her small apartment and cringed inwardly. I had forgotten about the clutter and tried to focus on something besides the urge to start organizing her books and papers, which I was sure, would offend her.

"There," she said and stood up. "It should be here soon. What would you like to drink?"

"Whatever you're having," I repeated.

She walked into the kitchen and I sat there wondering when I could leave without it being considered rude. She wanted me to stay for some food, but would she want me to stay longer than that? She had once again pleasured me without getting anything in return but did that mean that she would like to have sex later like last time? I was completely in over my head.

_At least I didn't pass out on her this time._

"Here you go," she said and handed me a strange looking bottle.

"Um, what is this?" I asked.

"A microbrew, you'll like it," she said with more confidence than I felt looking at it.

I took a sip and found that I did in fact like it a lot. I gave her a smile when I put the bottle down.

"Told you," she said smugly. "I think I know what you like."

"Evidently," I said and felt my cheeks get a little warmer when my eyes darted to the spot where she had been on her knees only minutes earlier. "You must be a mind reader."

_I liked that far too much for my own good._

She let out a laugh and flopped down on the bed.

"It doesn't really take a mind reader to figure out that you would like beer and blowjobs, Edward. I'm pretty sure that just proves that you have a Y chromosome."

"Oh," I said feeling embarrassed again.

She was so comfortable talking about sex and I had never met a woman like that before. The only people I had discussed such matters with was my father when I had gotten the standard speech at age fourteen, and my brother when he regaled me with stories of his many conquests although I repeatedly told him that I didn't want to hear about them.

"Do you like doing it?" I asked out of nowhere.

"Sucking cock?" she asked with a grin. "Sure, what's not to like?"

"Please don't call it that," I moaned and closed my eyes.

She made the whole things sound so sordid and carnal, which it obviously was, but I still didn't like to think of it in those terms. I opened my eyes and looked at her again. She looked like a sweet innocent girl in her pristine white robe and loose wavy hair, but she talked like a porn star and was completely unashamed about sex unlike me, who had always kept those things under the covers where I had always believed that they belonged.

"There's nothing wrong with calling things by their right names, you know?" she said.

"I know," I muttered and took another sip of my beer.

"Say cock," she said and raised her chin slightly.

"What? No!"

"Pleeease?" she pouted.

"No," I said, but couldn't help smiling because frankly she looked adorable.

"Come on, it's just one little word. We'll call it your vocabulary lesson for the day," she coaxed.

"No, I am not saying that," I laughed.

"What do you call it then?" she asked and rolled over on her stomach and crossed her ankles in the air.

"I don't call it anything," I said.

"So imagine that you meet with a buddy and tell him that you got laid. Finish this sentence. She lowered her voice to sound like a man.

"Hey bro, I scored with this chick last night and she totally sucked my…"

She looked expectantly at me, and I laughed again because she sounded just like Emmett.

"What?" she asked.

"You sound just like my brother," I said. "But I would never say something like that."

"Why not?"

"Well, that would be completely ungentlemanly of me and since no one has ever done that to me besides you. You see where I'm going with this?"

"You haven't had a lot of sex," she concluded.

_Understatement!_

"No," I admitted sheepishly.

"See, I don't get that," she said and sat up again. "Are you just really choosy with your partners?"

She seemed genuinely puzzled by my lack of experience.

"Not really," I said. "I guess a lot of women just didn't choose me."

"Hmm," she said and looked at me.

_Now she most likely thinks I'm a complete loser._

"Well, screw those bitches. Their loss is my incredible gain," she said with her lopsided grin.

"I'm hardly a prize," I said dismissively.

"Please," she said and took a sip of her beer. "You're good-looking, fun to be around and great in the sack."

I didn't know which of her compliments shocked and thrilled me the most. Being good-looking, fun or great in bed? None of them seemed to fit with my perception of myself, but I hoped that she was being truthful nonetheless.

There was a knock on the door and she jumped up. I became aware that we had been talking for a while and I hadn't felt nervous whatsoever. The conversation had flowed very easily between us and this was probably the most shocking thing I could add to my 'things I actually like about Ms. Swan' – list.

I liked talking to her.

"Thank God, I'm fucking starving," she said.

"Let me pay," I said.

"I already did it online," she said with a smile. "But you can pay me back afterwards if you'd like."

She gave me one of her winks and I realized that she was probably talking about more sexual activity. My heart rate sped up again and as I gawked at her backside when she walked over to the door, I came to the conclusion that she was most likely naked underneath the thin satin robe.

Naked. Warm. Soft.

Twitch. Twitch. Twitch.

**Well, that didn't exactly go as he had planned it now, did it? ;)**

**Did you like it? **

**Leave me a review if you did.**

**See you next week sometime. :) **


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews!**

**I thought I might explain Isabella's look since many of you have asked about it. Remember that it's Edward's POV and he is extremely conservative, and Isabella isn't dressed nearly as outrageous as it sounds like coming from him. She is a rock chick with just a hint of Goth, but to Professorward she looks like she's celebrating Halloween. Her 'smudgy' makeup is just a simple smoky eye, but he doesn't know that it's supposed to look like that. Poor clueless Edward. ;)**

**As always a huge thank you to Melanie (Edward's Eternal) for looking this over even though her husband doesn't share our humor (honestly, men!) This story wouldn't be nearly as great without her suggestions and comments. **

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

She opened the door to get the pizza, but rather than hearing the standard "That'll be X amount of dollars," I heard the most terrifying sound in the world: Girls' voices chattering away while Ms. Swan was pushed aside and her two friends barged into the apartment.

"Shit," I whispered. 

_Wait; did I just say 'shit'? _

_Yeah, that's the thing you should be focusing on right now, you moron!_

My eyes darted to Ms. Swan who was still holding the door open with an irritated expression on her face. Thankfully, her aggravation seemed to be focused on her two friends who were frozen in place, both of them staring down at me as if I was an exciting new display at a museum.

"Wait," the tiny girl named Alice said and turned to Ms. Swan. "Isn't this your lit professor?"

_Not after this gets out. I'll be her former lit professor who will be begging on the street with a sign that says 'Will teach American contemporary literature for food.' Oh God, I'm going to starve!_

Ms. Swan sighed heavily and closed the door.

"Yeah, this is Edward."

She walked over to where I was sitting in the armchair and faced me.

"Edward, you remember Alice and Rosalie, right?"

I nodded and she mouthed the word 'Sorry'. She turned to her friends again and sat down on the armrest of the chair and I had an overwhelming urge to wrap my arm around her waist as we faced the judgment of her two friends.

"So what's going on here?" Rosalie asked curiously and looked at us.

"We're hanging out," she answered simply.

"Huh," she said and looked at me. "He doesn't really seem like your type. Cute for sure, but not what I expected."

_I'm sitting right here!_

"What are you guys doing here?" Ms. Swan asked. "I told you I wanted to stay in tonight."

"Sorry, you should have said that you were expecting company," Alice said and gave me a look that actually seemed apologetic.

"Yeah, I guess," Ms. Swan said and relaxed a little on the armrest..

I moved my hand up and twirled my finger around one of her soft locks before I could stop myself and Alice smiled widely at me. I looked down and lowered my hand again but I could still feel her eyes on me.

_Why did I have to do that?_

"Look guys, this can't get out, ok?" Ms. Swan said in a firm tone and I looked up at the side of her face.

"Edward will lose his job if the university finds out that we've been seeing each other outside school, you understand?"  
They both nodded immediately.

"Um, how long has this been going on?" Rosalie asked.

"Just this week," I heard myself say.

"So…What?" Alice asked with a puzzled expression on her face. "Are you guys dating?"

"No, we're just fucking," Ms. Swan said matter-of-factly.

"Oh ok," Rosalie said, as if that was a perfectly reasonable explanation.

I noticed that Alice was giving me a look I couldn't decipher.

_What is she looking at? Do I have something on my face? That would be just like me. _

I ran my hand over my face and she looked away.

"I guess we should let you two get back to your night," Alice said. "I'm really sorry, Bella. I just didn't think we had secrets between us."

_Bella? They don't call her Isabella?_

"That's ok," she said. "And I'm sorry too. It's not that I didn't trust you not to say anything."

"I asked her not to tell anyone," I interjected. "You shouldn't blame Isabella. She only did as I asked her."

They both looked at me curiously before nodding in unison.

"I guess we'll see you tomorrow then," Rosalie said to Ms – Isabella.

"Ok, and can you just forget that this ever happened?" she asked as she opened the door for them.

They both laughed boisterously.

"Yeah right," Alice said and turned to give me a grin. "I want to hear all about the hot professor sex first thing tomorrow."

_Oh dear God! _

"Get your asses out of here before I have Edward go Rambo on them," Isabella growled and practically pushed them out of the door.

"Rambo?" Rosalie cackled. "There's a blast from the past."

_God, I am so old!_

"Have fun, Edward!" Alice called and gave me a quick wave before Isabella slammed the door.

I could still hear them laughing outside the door while they walked down the stairs, and Isabella ran both of her hands through her hair and groaned.

"Fuck," she muttered and went to a drawer and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

She went over and opened the window where she leaned out and lit up. She took a drag and slumped forward when she exhaled.

"Are you, um, ok?" I asked.

She nodded her head and took another drag.

"Sorry, I don't usually smoke when I'm not partying," she said. "I just really didn't want them to find out about you."

_Right. I'm hardly something to brag about._

As if she had heard my thoughts she spun around, but kept her cigarette outside the window for which I was very grateful.

"That didn't come out right," she said. "I'm not embarrassed or anything like that. They just won't shut up about this now."

"And you don't like talking about it?" I asked incredulously, because I was very much under the impression that Isabella enjoyed talking about sex.

"No, that's not it," she said quickly. "But they'll hound me about private stuff about you; what your cock looks like and if you know how to go down on me properly."

_Dear God, no! I have no idea how I am size wise compared to other men, and my abilities in the going down department have never been tested out. _

"I'm usually not afraid to divulge, but it's different with you. They might be in one of your classes next semester and I don't want them to sit there and think about your big perfect cock," she said and turned to take a drag.

_My big perfect…Wow! _

"I, um, thank you, I guess," I said awkwardly and almost drained my beer in order to get rid of my cottonmouth.

She threw the cigarette out and turned to give me a lopsided grin.

"No no, I should be saying thank you," she said. "You are one stellar fuck, Edward Cullen."

"Oh, well, you are, um, stellar too," I stuttered like the complete imbecile I always turned into in her presence it seemed.

She just smiled and sat down on the bed again.

"I'm really sorry that we got busted like that, but I swear that you can trust Rose and Alice to keep their traps shut. They won't say anything to anyone. They're like sisters to me."

I nodded and hoped that she was right. They hadn't looked very shocked when they found me here, which was very surprising. It put me at ease that they didn't judge me for sleeping with a student, and had seemed curious rather than appalled.

"Have you told anyone?" she asked curiously. "Your brother or…"

"No!" I said much too emphatically and added, "err, I mean, not that I'm embarrassed either or anything like that, it's just, you know, against the rules, and I don't ever talk about, um, sex with anyone anyway, so no. But, um, I guess it would be him if I told anyone, but I won't because, well, you know."

I took off my glasses and scrubbed my face with my hands.

_Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking!_

She let out a small laugh and I looked up at her.

"You're funny," she giggled and stood up. "Do you want another beer?"

"I don't know," I said unsurely. "Maybe I should go."

"Oh, you don't want to stay?" she asked.

"No, I do," I said immediately.

_I do? I guess my mouth does, anyway._

"I didn't think you would actually want me to after, you know."

I motioned to the door where her friends had just left.

"They're not coming back tonight, and we might as well have fun if you're still interested," she said.

She walked over to where I was sitting.

"Are you still interested?" she asked with a smile.

"Uh huh," I said, moronically.

She sat down in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I had fun last time, didn't you?"

I nodded and swallowed nervously. She leaned in and brushed her lips against mine before pulling away.

"Oh, sorry," she whispered. "I must taste like smoke."

"I don't mind," I murmured, because at this moment I honestly didn't care. Not if it meant that she would stop kissing me.

She pressed her lips against mine again and I groaned when I felt her tongue snake its way into my mouth. My hands on her waist gripped her a little tighter as my thumbs rubbed circles just below her breasts. She moaned softly and sucked on my tongue before she grabbed my right hand and slid it under the neckline of her robe and placed it on her naked breast. I cupped it gently and marveled at the contrast between the softness of the mound and the hardness of her puckered nipple. I ran my thumb over it and she moaned again. She angled her head slightly and deepened the kiss and I felt her hands caress my face and move to my hair.

There was a knock on the door and I groaned in frustration when she pulled away.

"Don't worry," she said with smile. "We'll continue this later."

She climbed off my lap.

"Will you get the pizza and I'll get us some more drinks?"

_That would be really embarrassing for me!_

"Um, it's not that I don't want to help you, but I, uh, I need a minute to…collect myself," I said awkwardly and felt my face get warmer.

Her eyes darted to my lap where you could clearly see the predicament I was in due to the heated kiss we had just shared.

"Oh," she grinned. "Sorry, I didn't think about that. You stay here then."

She went over and I was truly grateful that this time it was actually a pizza delivery guy who was at the door. His eyes travelled over her scarcely clad body and I felt a tightening in my chest. I could clearly see that he desired her and it made me feel angry.

_Stop looking at her like that! _

I jumped out of my chair and walked over, and before I could think about what I was doing I had wrapped my arms around her from behind. The guy gave me a sour look and for some reason I liked that a lot.

"Have a good night," he said, clearly only meant for Isabella.

"We will," I said and pressed my erection against her backside while I leaned down and kissed the side of her neck.

The guy glared at me again and walked away. Isabella turned and gave me a curious look.

"I'm sorry," I said and let go of her. "I don't know why I did that."

"I do," she said with a grin and walked into the kitchen.

I followed and heard her mutter the word "Men."

"I'm sorry," I said again. "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"You didn't make me uncomfortable, Edward. But you probably shouldn't do something like that again."

She stood up on her toes and kissed me lightly.

"This town isn't that big and that wasn't exactly the stealthiest move back there," she said. "We need to keep this secret for both our sakes, right?"

I nodded in complete agreement.

"I can't have you getting all territorial with me."

_Territorial? Is that what she thinks I was doing? That wasn't it at all! Was it?_

"I don't think I was being territorial," I said hesitantly.

"Yes, you were," she said. "You saw him ogling the girl you're fucking and you wanted to show him that I was off limits. Typical guy behavior."

I gaped at her and she smiled sweetly.

"It's ok, Edward. You just can't do stuff like that in class, for instance if some guy grabs my ass or something like that. I have to be your student when we're in school and nothing else."

I knew that she was right and nodded.

"Besides, I'm not fucking anyone else so you don't have to worry," she said.

"You're not?"

"No, sleeping with two people at the same time gets complicated and I don't do complicated. As long as you're fucking me, no one else is," she said casually.

"Oh, that's good, I suppose," I said. "Um, what about dating?" I added and thought about my possible blind date with the woman Kate.

"I don't date. Dating leads to boyfriends and I don't do that either. I like to keep things simple, you know?"

"Um, I guess so," I said, although I really didn't.

I had never considered having sex with someone I wasn't already dating.

"Edward?"

"Yes," I said and looked at her.

"I like fucking you and I like hanging out with you," she said. "But if this isn't your sort of thing that's perfectly fine."

_What exactly is she saying? She wants to keep doing this?_

"You…you would want to do this again?" I asked her.

"Sure," she said with a smile. "You can come by a few nights a week when both of us are free. If you would like that, of course."

I thought about what she was offering me: Physical pleasure with no strings attached. Was such a thing even possible? And more importantly, did I want something like that? I wanted to have sex with her again, that much was evident. And I did like talking to her as well; at least I did when she wasn't argumentative and stubborn. She seemed so different here in her apartment than she did in class. I looked at her and she was still holding me around my waist, looking expectantly at me while I struggled to figure out what the right decision was.

"Look, you don't have to decide right this second," she said. "Think about it, ok?"

I nodded and she reached up again and gave me a quick kiss.

"Let's eat before it gets cold," she said and released me.

I watched silently while she sliced the pizza and grabbed two beers from the refrigerator. She put the box on the bed with some napkins and put our drinks on the nightstand, while I was still trying to figure out how on earth this would work if I did come back here again another night. Could I really just come by her place and have casual sex whenever it was convenient for us?

"Hey," she said. "You're thinking way too much about this. Come and have some food and just relax for a while."

I sat down on the bed and leaned against the headboard, and she handed me a slice. I secretly wished for a plate and utensils, but decided that it was probably best not to say anything.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" she asked.

"Ok, what did you have in mind?"

"We can watch 'Kill Bill'," she said with a grin. "Get you up-to-date on cultural references."

"What's it about?" I asked and took a bite of the pizza which was very tasty.

It didn't go unnoticed by me that whatever Isabella provided, whether it was food, drink or sex, my body wanted it.

"It's an action movie. Sword fights, kung fu and things like that. I can't believe you've never seen it."

"I guess I've missed a few things on account of studies and work," I said. "Put it on."

"Great," she said and jumped off the bed. "Oh, you're not squeamish about blood and stuff like that, right?"

"No, why?"  
"There's a lot of that in it, and I wouldn't want to scare you," she said.

"I guess I shouldn't bring my copy of 'Arachnophobia' next time then, huh?" I teased her.

_Whoa! Did I just say 'next time'?_

"No way, I wouldn't be able to sleep for a week!" she said with a visible shudder.

She found the DVD and I was thankful that either she didn't notice my comment about there being a next time, or she simply ignored it. We watched the movie and I actually liked it a lot. Isabella wolfed down half the pizza quickly and I wondered how on earth she kept her slim figure when she ate that much.

"Wow, you can eat a lot," I blurted out.

"I know," she said. "Thank God for my killer metabolism. I can't believe some women live off salads entirely."

"You don't exercise?"

"I do yoga a few times a week because I was sick of being so clumsy all the time, and I've taken some dance classes as well. But I don't work out like you obviously do."

She looked at my body and I shifted nervously under her gaze.

"Why do you hide that fuck-hot body of yours under those clothes?" she asked curiously. "I never would have guessed that you were so ripped."

"Um, I don't know, really," I said and took a sip of my beer. "I don't know a lot about, uh, fashion and I guess I just dress like the rest of the male faculty."

"Yeah, but most of them are old enough to be your father, Edward. You shouldn't be afraid of showing off your goods a little more. You're young and hot," she said with a smile.

"Oh, I…thank you," I said and looked down.

"I'm serious," she said. "I should take you somewhere out of town and give you a makeover. Although, then I probably couldn't keep you to myself anymore."

"That's very kind of you to offer," I said.

"Think about it," she said and turned her attention to the movie again.

_If I'm getting new clothes then so is she! Some pretty dresses and a few decent length skirts maybe? No, what am I thinking? That's the sort of thing one would do with their significant other and she has already said that she wasn't interested in something like that. But then why would she offer it? And why am I even thinking like this? I'm not interested in something like that either._

It seemed that I had a lot of offers to consider after tonight. I glanced over at her. She was so, so pretty without all that makeup and her hair loose and wavy. She must have noticed me watching her because she paused the movie and looked at me.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Why do you hide your beauty when you're at school?" I asked, without thinking.

"My…beauty?" she asked slowly.

I nodded and swallowed nervously.

"You're so beautiful like this," I said and ran my fingers through her hair.

Rather than answer me Isabella put the pizza box on the floor and crawled into my lap and kissed me passionately. She parted her lips and I slid my tongue into her mouth and cupped her face in my hands.

"Take your clothes off," she murmured against my lips before moving off me.

_God, yes!_

I started removing my clothes as she turned off the TV and put on some music instead. She lit a few candles and turned off the lights which left the room soft and glowing like the last time I was here. I was nervous again and fumbled with the buttons of my shirt, while I cursed my lack of confidence and experience. She came over to where I was standing next to the bed and cupped my face in her hands.

"Let me help you," she whispered.

I nodded and took a deep breath. She took my shirt off easily and opened my pants and let them drop to the floor. I stepped out of them and she knelt down and took off my socks, leaving me only in my boxers. She ran her hands over my body as she stood up again and I shivered with both nervousness and excitement.

"On the bed," she said softly, and I did as she told me immediately.

She took off her robe and I heard myself gasp when I saw her naked body. She crawled over to where I was sitting and stretched out next to me. I lay down next to her and kissed her lips softly until she parted them and deepened the kiss. I was unsure how to proceed next but she took my hand and placed it on her breast like before and I kneaded it gently. I moved my mouth to her neck and she sighed when I sucked lightly and rubbed her nipple with my thumb. I trailed kisses down her chest and brushed my lips over her nipple.

"Mmm, that's good," she said.

I circled it with the tip of my tongue and sucked lightly which made her moan.

"Do you like that?" I asked.

"Yes, it feels so good," she said and arched her back when I did it again.

I switched to her other breast and gave it the same attention. She took my hand and moved it down her body.

"Touch my pussy," she sighed.

_Her p-! Sweet Jesus, she has a vocabulary like an adult film actress!_

My hand trembled when I lowered it and parted her folds carefully.

"I-I don't really know what I'm doing," I admitted, feeling utterly embarrassed.

My heart was pounding in my chest and I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I wanted to make her feel good, but I had no idea how to touch her. She had shown me the last time, but I had been able to see all of her and that had made it easier. I looked at her and she gave me a smile.

"That's ok baby, I'll teach you," she said.

I nodded and felt a surge of relief when she guided my fingers.

"You feel this?" she asked, and moved my middle finger over a small mound.

"Y-yes," I whispered. "Is that your..um, your?"

_I can say it! It's the correct term for heaven's sake._

"Y-your…clitoris?" I finally managed to ask.

She smiled widely and nodded.

"It makes me feel really good when you touch it," she said softly.

"Ok," I said and moved my finger over it tentatively.

It made her sigh and me smile. I was the reason that she was making that sound and the knowledge made me feel giddy inside. I sucked on her nipple again and rubbed her a little harder.

"Fuck, that feels good," she moaned.

Hearing how much she was enjoying herself filled me with pride and bravery. I leaned up and kissed her eagerly while I continued touching her.

"Oh, I want to feel your fingers inside me," she panted when I moved my lips down to her neck.

I stroked her lower and felt how wet I had made her. It was incredible to know that I had aroused this beautiful girl and I slowly pushed two fingers inside her. She moaned my name and if possible I got even harder than before. I wanted to rub her like before but in my position I couldn't touch her with both hands. I pumped my fingers in and out of her and suddenly remembered how I had used my thumb the last time I was here. I moved it over her small sensitive mound while I continued to use my fingers.

"Edward, please," she cried out. "Fuck me!"

I moved up and kissed her deeply before I removed my hand. She quickly found a condom while I scrambled to get my boxers off in my kneeling position. She rolled it on me and lay back on the bed, her legs spread in invitation. I moved forward and covered her small body with mine. My nervousness returned and I took a deep breath.

"What is it?" she asked and ran her fingers through my hair.

"I…I just want it to be good for you too, and I'm not sure how to do that," I whispered.

"I'll show you, baby" she said and kissed me.

I didn't mind her calling me that since she obviously liked doing it. I was feeling very apprehensive about this. All my previous experiences had been in this position where I had controlled the movements and they had all been failures in my attempts of showing the woman a good time. The last time I had been with Isabella had been so different. She had taken charge and had been the one on top. Now that it was my turn, my old insecurities came rushing back to me. But I also knew that Isabella wasn't like the few other women I had slept with. She knew what she liked and she wasn't afraid to ask for it. She reached down between us and positioned me at her entrance. I leaned on my elbows and she sought my mouth with hers. I felt her hand slide down over by lower back and grab my buttocks in her hands. She lifted her hips slightly and suddenly pushed me inside her.

"Oh, Isabella!" I moaned loudly after I broke the kiss.

Her warm tightness enveloped me completely and I throbbed inside her.

"Sit up on your knees, and take me with you," she whispered.

I sat up and grabbed her hips so I stayed inside her. Her lower back rested on my knees and she wrapped her legs around my waist, and reached up to hold on to the headboard of the bed. Then she moved her body back and I almost slipped out of her in the process. She smiled and then pushed back, using her arms and legs to slide onto my length again.

"Oh God!" I groaned and held onto her hips.

She started moving on me and I stared at her beautiful body as she pushed herself back and forth on me while she moaned and whimpered.

"Move with me, Edward," she said.

I thrust my hips forward to meet her and hissed when I felt how deep I could go in this position. It was the most incredible feeling that I had ever experienced and I started moving to her rhythm easily.

"Touch me," she whimpered.

Now that I knew what to do I felt zero apprehension and rubbed her slowly with my thumb.

"Is it good?" I asked her and she gasped and nodded in response.

I looked down to where our bodies met, and it was without a doubt the most erotic thing I had ever seen. My length glistened with her arousal and I moaned loudly at the sight. I started moving faster and deeper and this made her whimpers turn into small screams of pleasure.

"Edward, I'm close!" she called out.

I rubbed her vigorously and thrust harder, intent on giving her an orgasm before I came undone myself.

"Oh, oh, fuck. Come with me, Edward!"

I finally let go and grabbed her hips with both hands as my movements became frenzied and I felt her clench around me.

"Ah, ah, Isabella!" I shouted and came with the most intense orgasm of my life.

Wave after wave of pleasure crashed over me and I faintly registered that she cried out a string of words. I collapsed on top of her and panted heavily into her neck. After a little while I felt her hands stroke my back and I trailed soft kisses from her neck up to her lips. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her deeply, caressing her tongue with mine.

"That was amazing," I told her, hardly able to contain my excitement. "It was the most…and I made you. I mean, you did the last time too, but this time it was completely because of me, and that was just…Thank you, thank you," I babbled and kissed her again.

She laughed softly and looked curiously at me.

"You shouldn't thank me, Edward. Have you never given a woman an orgasm before?" she asked.

I shook my head and pulled out of her. I took off the condom, tied a knot on it and almost dropped it on the floor. The neat freak in me protested wildly at that idea and I got off the bed and threw it in the trashcan. I lay down next to her again and closed my eyes.

"Mmm," she said. "That was really great. Are you sure you've never done that before?"

"Positive," I mumbled.

"Wow, you must have had some really lousy lays," she stated.

I opened my eyes and turned my head to look at her.

"What do you mean?"

"If you've never given a woman you've been with an orgasm. They must not have been very sure of themselves."

"But I was the one who couldn't…um, do that to them," I said.

"Yeah, but if they weren't willing to show you how, it's entirely their fault that it wasn't good. How the hell are you supposed to know what to do if no one has ever shown you? We're a little more complicated than men in the orgasm department, you know," she said with a smile.

_Wow, I've never thought about it like that before! Maybe I'm not bad in bed, after all?_

"I'm beginning to realize that," I said quietly.

She turned her head and looked into my eyes.

"Was it really, uh, good for you?" I asked her.

"Are you kidding me? I saw stars and planets," she grinned. "Oh, and God says hello."

_YES!_

I felt my lips curve up in a huge smile.

"Really?" I asked.

"Are you fishing for compliments on your performance, Professor?" she asked, smiling.

"Oh, I…I wasn't, um, I mean no," I stuttered.

_Well, maybe I was._

"You did great. I'll definitely give you a B+," she said. "It would have been an A if you had said 'cock'," she added with her lopsided grin.

"Cut me some slack. I did say, um, 'clitoris' at least," I said, wondering if this wouldn't go down in history as the strangest conversation I had ever had.

"Yes, and that was very 'Anatomy 101' of you, Edward," she teased mercilessly. "Say 'clit' and I'll upgrade you to an A."

_I have always been an over-achiever. _

"Clit," I whispered and proceeded to blush.

She looked at me and pressed her lips together to keep from laughing.

"Once more, with feeling," she said and raised an eyebrow challengingly.

_I'll show her!_

"Clit!" I yelled.

Her eyes widened and then she started to laugh. I followed immediately after and soon we were gasping for air.

"I knew you had it in you," she chuckled.

"I sure didn't," I said and pulled her into my arms.

She rested her head on my chest and I played with her long silky hair.

"You never answered my question before," I said after a while and brought a lock up to my nose to smell its wonderful fragrance.

"What question?" she asked.

"Why you never look like this at school," I said and ran my fingers through her hair. "So beautiful."

"Hey," she said sternly and looked up at me. "I happen to like the way I look at school."

_She must be nearsighted or something like that._

"Oh, ok," I said, wanting to change the subject immediately.

"But thank you for calling me beautiful," she said in a softer tone. "You're the only one besides Rosalie and Alice who sees me like this."  
"I think it's safe to say that you're the only one who sees _me_ like this," I said and stroked her hair again.

"You mean naked?" she joked.

"That too, but also as a person who can yell out a dirty word."

"'Clit' isn't a dirty word, silly," she said. "I haven't even started working on your vocabulary yet. You'll see."

She looked up at me and grinned wickedly before she lowered her mouth to my nipple and bit it gently. Then she flicked her tongue over it and I groaned and shifted my hips a little.

"See, that's where you could have let out a 'fuck'," she said.

"I guess I'll have to work on that for next time," I said sarcastically.

_Uh oh. Did I just say next time? What is going on with my mouth?!_

She raised her head and looked at me.

"Next time?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered immediately.

"Great," she said with a smile. "Then we can watch the rest of 'Kill Bill' and maybe the sequel, too."

"There's more?" I asked.

"Baby, you have no idea," she smirked.

I had the very distinct feeling that Isabella wasn't talking about the movie at all, and my suspicions were only increased when she started placing openmouthed kisses on my chest and started heading south.

"Ready for some extra credit work, Professor?" she asked.

I took a deep breath and nodded. There was no point in trying to deny that I wanted this desperately and when I felt her lips around my considerably less level head, I forgot about everything except being the most studious man in the world.

**Ah, Edward is turning into quite the teacher's pet, isn't he? ;)**

**So, Isabella's friends know what's going on. Should Emmett know too?**

**Do you want a little Isabella POV in the next one or would you prefer all EPOV as usual?**

**Leave me a review if you think that Edward should get a makeover. ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Hey everyone!**

**Thank you for great reviews! I feel really shitty that I don't have time to respond to everyone, but I read every single one of them, I swear. :)**

**Melanie has outdone herself this time and I can reveal that thanks to her Professorward will say a naughty word! (Squee!) You rock my world!**

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

I stumbled out of Isabella's apartment at 3 o'clock in the morning, feeling both exhausted and elated at the same time. My body was spent and utterly satisfied, and my mind was reeling from everything that had transpired in the last hours. I had gone over to tell her that we couldn't see each other anymore and the exact opposite had ended up happening. She had once again offered for me to stay over but I had declined politely. I needed some sort of boundary or I feared that it would be too difficult to distinguish between Isabella who I had just slept with, and Ms. Swan who was my student in class. She had been fine with my leaving and kissed me goodbye at the door. I had already agreed to there being a next time and I couldn't bring myself to regret accepting her generous offer. Sleeping with Isabella was without a doubt the most wonderful physical experience of my life, and I knew that I wanted to do it again…soon.

I was awakened by my phone ringing shrilly the next morning and I tumbled out of bed, looking for the offensive object that had intruded on my dream. Isabella had been underneath me; warm, wet and tight around my length like last night, and I wanted to dive back into the dream rather than face reality which now descended to the sounds of my annoying ringtone. I groaned when it started again from somewhere in the living room.

_I wish Emmett would show me how to remove that asinine song already!_

'Whoo, let's get it on. Ah, babe, let's get it on. Let's love, baby.'

_God, I really hate him sometimes!_

"What?" I spat into the phone.

"Still haven't figured out how to get rid of that awesome ringtone I downloaded for you, huh?" Emmett laughed.

"Let's get it on," he sang.

"I will kill you," I growled and flopped down on the couch.

"Easy bro," he said. "I'm just calling to let you know that I'm running a little late for the gym."

"Oh, what time is it?" I asked and looked around for my watch.

"It's almost 11. Wait, you're not there yet?"

"No, I guess I overslept," I mumbled and walked into the bedroom to pull out my gym bag.

"Again?" he asked incredulously. "You're not sick, are you?"

"I'm fine," I sighed. "Look I'll leave in a few minutes. See you there?"  
"Ok," he said and hung up.

I quickly packed my bag, threw on some clothes and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. We were going out to lunch afterwards so I didn't bother with breakfast. When I arrived at the gym Emmett was already outside waiting for me.

"What happened to you?" he asked and looked me up and down.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, to put it plainly, bro; you look freshly fucked," he said with a grin.

_Freshly...Wait, what? He can tell by looking at me? No, don't be silly. He's just joking…I hope!_

"What _are _you babbling about?" I said, hoping that I sounded surprised.

"You've got the worst case of sex hair I've ever seen," he said and pointed to my head.

"Oh, I, um, I need to get it cut soon," I said quickly and tried to smooth it down.

"No no," he said. "It looks good. Just not like you at all. And you're not even wearing your glasses."

_I'm not?_

I brought my hand up and sure enough my face was bare for the first time in ages.

"I don't know why you wear them all the time anyway," Emmett continued as we walked inside. "I mean, you only need them for reading and writing."

"I guess that's pretty much all I do," I said. "It's just easier to always wear them."

"So what did you do last night?" he asked me curiously and gave me a look I couldn't decipher.

"I just stayed in," I lied and looked away. "Um, how was your date?"

I didn't actually care about his latest conquest but I was eager to move the focus away from me and last night's activities.

"Predictable," he said with a bored expression. "We met, we ate, we fucked."

"Oh, that sounds, err," I said, not exactly sure how one responded to something like that.

"She did totally suck my cock in the car, and that was awesome!" he exclaimed happily.

_He sounds just like Isabella's impersonation!_

I let out a laugh because of the similarity and he gave me a strange look again.

"You find it amusing that I got road head?" he asked.

"I guess so," I said and started undressing.

"Really?" he asked. "No lectures on traffic safety and the like? Who are you and what have you done with my brother?"

I decided that it was probably best to simply ignore his question since I was still undoubtedly his brother. He was still looking at me with narrowed eyes as if he was trying to solve a math problem.

"What?" I asked, keeping my tone light.

"Something is going on with you," he stated.

"No," I lied.

"I don't know what it is but I _will_ find out, Edward," he said with a grin.

_No, you won't! No one else can know!_

I did feel bad about keeping this enormous secret from my brother but I wasn't prepared to face the million questions it would prompt. I knew that Emmett wouldn't tell a soul, but I still preferred him not knowing. I liked having it to myself. Something that was just mine and hers.

_Well, that's not entirely true. Her friends know, but I trust her judgment. After all, she isn't interested in this getting out anymore than I am. _

"Oh, and on a completely unrelated subject, I sent a message to Ms. Swan's friend," he said.

_Unrelated? I think not._

"Really?" I asked. "On the Facebook?"  
He threw his head back and laughed loudly.

_Now what?_

"_The_ Facebook?" he asked. "Dude, it's just called Facebook. You sound like a senior citizen when you say shit like that."

_Oh, how was I supposed to know that?_

"Speaking of senior citizens," he added. "What's up with your pants?"

I looked down at my khaki pants and back to Emmett.

"Um, what's wrong with them?" I asked.

"There's nothing exactly wrong with them," he said. "You wear them a little too high and the belt is just…geriatric-looking. Why don't you ever wear jeans?"

"I don't know if I'd be comfortable wearing something so snug fitting," I admitted.

Emmett shook his head in open disapproval.

"What's the point of you working out three times a week if no one can see it?" he asked and flexed his bicep which could clearly been seen in his ridiculously tight t-shirt.

"To stay healthy?"

"You can worry about that when you're older, right now your main focus should be getting some p-"

"Please don't say it!" I interrupted and held up my hand.

"…Proper lady to go out with you," he said with a grin.

_Please, even I'm not that gullible. _

"Yeah, I'll get right on that," I said sarcastically.

"Think about the jeans, though?" Emmett asked.

"I'm sure you'll remind me if I forget," I muttered.

"I'm just looking out for you because I love you and I want you to be happy," he said.

_Wow, Emmett isn't usually so touchy-feely._

"Um, I love you too," I said, feeling a little awkward. "And I know you only want me to be happy."

"Exactly," he grinned. "And it's my experience that nothing makes a man happier than a good roll in the hay or at least a hummer."

_A hummer? Isn't that a car?_

I decided not to ask him since I knew he would most likely tease me with my lack of knowledge, but I was fairly sure that Emmett wasn't referring to an SUV.

We walked out to the treadmills and he turned to me again and smiled.

"You're sure there's nothing you want to tell me?"

I shook my head and stared straight ahead.

"Well, whatever it is that you're doing, I would keep it up. You smile more now," he said and started walking again.

"Oh," he called and turned his head to look at me. "And the vein is still MIA."

I touched my forehead and couldn't stop myself from grinning.

Over the next two weeks I saw Isabella three times outside of class. We had exchanged phone numbers and she had texted me on all three occasions. We had decided that this was better than talking before or after class to avoid drawing attention to ourselves on campus. No one would have suspected that we were more than student and professor if they observed us in class. She was still argumentative as ever and I did my best to treat her as I always had. She still ticked me off royally when she interrupted me or one of the other students, but I didn't mention it when I was at her apartment.

I was starting to feel much less nervous around her now. It was easy being with her when we were alone in her small untidy bedroom, and we didn't talk much about school when I had been there. We had slept together each time and it seemed to only get better every time it happened. I was both stunned and thrilled about the fact that I made her climax when we were together, and my own orgasms were out of this world compared to my previous experiences. We watched a movie afterwards and I left before she went to bed. It was simple, uncomplicated and good. Really good.

I found it slightly disconcerting that I thought about her as much as I did. I still looked at her status updates daily, trying to figure out whether or not I would be receiving a text from her on that particular night. I hadn't mustered up the courage to initiate anything, because I didn't want to seem presumptuous. I realized that it was absurd of me to think like that, and I was still a little worried that she might reject me if I was the one to suggest a rendezvous.

It had been nearly a week since I had visited her the last time, and I was getting frustrated. On Friday she had simply told me to have a nice weekend and I didn't hear from her at all. Now it was Tuesday and I knew that I would see her in class soon. I couldn't stop myself from wondering if maybe she was getting bored with me and had decided to stop seeing me altogether. I really hoped that wasn't the case because I had never felt better than I did the week before when I had spent three wonderful nights in her company. I had slept better than ever before, I had felt energized and my tension had evaporated completely.

But now it was back with a vengeance and I was complete wound up with the uncertainty of it all and my pent-up sexual frustration only added fuel to the fire. I knew I had to ask her if she was putting a stop to our little arrangement because not knowing was driving me up the walls.

I waited nervously in class, hoping that she would give me some sort of hint when she showed up; a look, a smile, just anything to clue me in to what she was thinking. The door opened and my jaw dropped when I saw her. Somewhere I found the strength not to ogle her blatantly and turned my attention to the rest of the class. All I saw were lusty expressions as the boys openly gawked at her.

_Why would she wear that?! Why?! How am I supposed to teach an entire class when I don't have a drop of blood in my brain? Dear God, I want her!_

I glanced briefly at her as she sauntered past me and took her usual seat in the front. She was wearing a short plaid skirt, a white button down shirt and knee socks, and it had effectively reduced the males in the room into drooling yahoos, myself very much included. What she was wearing looked more or less like a school girl uniform, and even though it was a lot more modest than most of her outfits it still had a profound effect. Her hair was done in two long braids and for once she didn't wear any of the smudgy makeup that I loathed so much. I had never been as sexually attracted to her as I was right now, and I was very thankful that I was sitting at my desk and was able to hide my highly aroused state. I met her eyes and she gave me a smile and one of her winks before I looked away again.

_Ok, she doesn't seem to be cross with me at least. _

I started the class and tried to keep my eyes from drifting to her while the rest of the males in the room failed miserably in that feat. I barely remembered half of what we discussed about Barry Hannah's novel "Ray" until we came to the part about the way women were represented.

"I find a little unrealistic that the main character has sexual relations with as many women as is depicted in the book," a girl in the back said.

"Can you elaborate?" I asked.

"Well, it seems like the women are just there for him to take and he doesn't have to work for it at all," she said.

"That's probably because they're not really there at all," Isabella said without being called on.

I sighed heavily because even though I shouldn't condone this sort of behavior she made an excellent point.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She smiled and leaned forward, revealing a little cleavage and I swallowed nervously.

"Ray is clearly suffering from a mental disorder because of his experiences in the war. The novel contains all these paragraphs about him flying planes and that's obviously not the case since he's a country doctor and not a pilot."

"And?"

"And who's to say that all those encounters that he describes aren't just fantasies that he has conjured up in his mind like him flying a plane?"

"How would you support such a statement?" I asked, genuinely curious with her way of thinking.

"He drinks heavily and the whole novel is very fragmented so we lose a sense of time and space. Suddenly he's in an office where the rude tax lady ignores him, and what happens? He decides that he's sick of her ignoring him and walks up behind her and ends up having sex with her then and there. If that isn't a typical fantasy I don't know what is," she said and bit down on her bottom lip.

I took a breath to calm myself down. Hearing her talk about something like that was not exactly helping my resolve to look neutral around her. I noticed that all the boys were watching her intently as she played with her braid and smiled at me.

"I mean, isn't that a very common male fantasy?" she asked. "Dominating a woman like that and taking control?"

_Oh dear God, she is trying to kill me!_

"I suppose so," I managed to say with a fairly steady voice. "Do you think that this reflects the author's view on men then? That they like to dominate women?"

"Perhaps. But it could also be his view on women that we see," she said. "After all, it does take two to play out a fantasy like that."

She smiled again and leaned back in her seat.

"I don't think that most men and women are really like that, but it is fun to play once in a while, wouldn't you agree, Edward?"

"You will address me as Professor Cullen or leave my classroom immediately! I will not stand for that insolent behavior, Ms. Swan!" I seethed. "Do you understand!?"

_Whoa! Where did that come from? _

I felt sick to my stomach with worry that she would be angry with me now. I looked at her shocked expression and felt a rush of fear.

_Oh no, I've ruined everything! She'll never let me touch her again after this!_

Her lips curved up into a small smile which she quickly hid away and lowered her eyes.

"Yes, I understand. I'm very sorry, Professor," she said quietly.

_What? She's actually apologizing? As Emmett would say 'Hell just froze over'!_

"Just don't let it happen again," I said and took a calming breath. "You did make some excellent points, Ms. Swan."

"Thank you, Professor," she said softly.

"Any comments on Ms. Swan's assessment that Ray is in fact fantasizing about a lot of the things that take place in the novel?" I asked the other students.

The rest of the lesson Isabella didn't say a word but wrote her notes dutifully. Class ended and I watched nervously as she slowly packed up her things and lingered behind as the rest of the students left the room. She walked by my desk and paused in front of me. She was still looking down and I knew what would happen next.

_She's ending it. I just know it! I can't believe I let my temper get the best of me and now I've pushed her away! _

"My place in thirty minutes?" she asked so quietly that I barely heard it.

_WHAT?!_

"What?" I echoed my thought.

"I'm so sorry I was a bad girl," she said with her lopsided grin. "Let me show you how sorry I am."

_A bad girl? Did she just say a bad girl?_

"I-I, ok?" I said dumbly.

"See you soon, Professor," she said and walked out, leaving me flustered and incredibly aroused at the same time.

_What the hell just happened? She didn't end it? She wants to see me now?_

I collected my things and walked out to my car in a state of complete shock. I drove to her apartment and before I knew it I was standing outside her door with my heart in my throat. I braced myself for anything and knocked.

"Come in, Professor," she said when she opened and stepped aside, her eyes fixed on the floor.

I walked in and looked around nervously. I had no idea what I was supposed to do now.

"Isabella," I said, and realized that I didn't know what I was going to say next.

"Call me Ms. Swan," she said softly and looked up at me.

She stood in front of me and played with one of her braids.

"I'm so sorry, Professor," she said. "What can I do to make you forgive me?"

"I, um, I don't know," I said helplessly.

She ran her hands down my chest and stomach and fiddled with my belt while she looked up at me.

"Please let me show you how sorry I am," she said. "I'll do anything you ask."

_Anything I ask? Oh God, she wants me to tell her what to do!_

My pulse was thundering in my ears as she looked up at me with a coquettish smile on her perfect pink lips. I had never taken charge with her before and I was nervous about doing this. I had let her set the pace each time we had been together, but now it seemed that it was my turn and I didn't know what to do exactly. I was dumbfounded and didn't move a muscle.

_I am terrible at this game she's playing! Why does she want someone who is this meek and unsure of himself? Oh God, I suck! I can't believe I'm still just standing here like a complete moron staring at her. She must think I've had an aneurysm. Just say something to the girl! Now! Say something now, you idiot, before she changes her mind! _

"Kiss me," I whispered.

Her demure smile widened and her face lit up. I suddenly felt a strange fluttering sensation in the pit of my stomach and briefly wondered if maybe it had been a bad idea to have seafood for lunch.

"Yes, Professor," she said and stood up on her toes and gave me a chaste kiss.

"Was that ok? Have I shown you how sorry I am?" She asked.

"I, uh, I might need a little more convincing?" I said unsurely.

_Please kiss me again!_

"Ok," she said immediately and pressed her lips against mine.

This time she kissed my bottom lip, then the top and slid her tongue into my mouth when I parted mine. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I held onto her slender waist when the kiss deepened and she moaned softly. When she pulled back I almost grabbed a hold of her because I wasn't done kissing her, but the gentleman in me let her take a step back.

"Is there anything else you want?" she asked and played with the top button of her shirt.

_I want to see you, beautiful girl. _

"O-open your shirt," I stammered.

She did what I told her without hesitation and I relaxed again. She slid it off her shoulders and revealed a white lace bra. I suddenly remembered that this was in fact the first time that she had undressed for me, and it was incredibly arousing for some reason. I knew that at the moment I was the only man who she showed her body to like this, and as long as I kept seeing her no one else would. I believed Isabella when she had told me this. She had no reason to lie about it since we weren't in a relationship, but it still made me happy that I was the only one in her bed now.

"Take that off as well," I said and ran my index finger over her bra strap. She unclasped it and let it join the shirt on the floor.

_Oh, I want to feel her. She is so beautiful._

"Can I touch you?" I all but whispered.

She nodded immediately.

"You can do anything you want, Professor," she said with a smile. "_Anything."_

_Anything? She will let me do anything I want with her? How can she have so much trust in me when we hardly know each other? What I wanted something truly depraved that would end up hurting her? Ok, so she probably knows me well enough to realize that I would never want something like that, but even so. Anything?_

"I just want you," I murmured and ran my hands up and down her naked arms.

"Then have me," she whispered and smiled. "Take me. I want you to."

I pulled her to me and crashed my lips against hers. Our tongues met and I pressed her against me while my hands roamed over her half naked body. I moved to her neck where I licked her warm skin and sucked on her sensitive flesh.

"Take my shirt off," I whispered and felt her skilled fingers undo the buttons quickly and slide it off me.

"Touch me," I said.

Her hands were all over my torso and I cupped her breasts and captured her lips again. She whimpered into my mouth when I rubbed her nipple and I moaned when she pinched mine. My hand drifted down her back and I bunched up her short skirt, feeling only soft smooth skin.

"Oh God, you're naked underneath," I gasped and grabbed her firm backside. "Were you like this in class today?"

"Yes, I did it for you," she murmured against my lips. "I was dressed like this in class for you."

"Why?" I asked and pressed the lower half of her body against my erection.

"Watching you teach makes me so hot," she said and nibbled on my bottom lip. "And I liked the way you looked at me today. I had a feeling that you would like the outfit."

_You're wrong, beautiful girl. I don't like it. I love it!_

I moved my right hand to the front and stroked her bare lips underneath the skirt. I dipped my finger inside her folds and felt her warm slick flesh.

"God, you're so," I groaned.

_Aroused._

"I'm wet for you," she moaned and moved herself against my hand. "Take me."

_I need to be inside her. Now!_

I pushed my finger all the way inside her and she moaned again. Her hands flew to my belt and five seconds later my pants and boxers were pooled around my ankles. She stroked my length firmly and I gasped before I kissed her deeply. She broke the kiss, turned around in my arms and took a step forward to lean on her desk. I watched in amazement as she arched her back and spread her legs in supplication. I was behind her instantly and lifted her skirt up to reveal her naked firm backside. My lips were on the side of her neck and my hands grabbed her breasts. I had never felt this uninhibited before and I wanted her with an urgency I had never experienced previously.

"I want you," I rasped and slipped my erection between her wet lips.

"Fuck me, Edward," she begged. "Please!"

"W-what about protection?" I gasped and grabbed a hold of my length.

"I'm on the pill," she moaned when I rubbed the head against her warm wetness. "I'm safe, I swear. I've never done it without a condom before."

"I haven't either," I choked out and looked down to where our bodies were so close to connecting.

"Please, I want you," she cried out and pushed herself back against me.

I kept my eyes trained on the sight when I slowly slipped the head inside her tight entrance.

"Oh God," I moaned.

"More!" she pleaded and tried to push back.

I grabbed her hips and slammed into her without thinking.

_Oh God, oh God! This is heaven!_

Through my lust filled haze I heard her cry out and froze instantly.

"I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?!" I asked, completely panicked.

"No!" she said. "No, not at all."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"I swear," she said and started moving her hips. "Fuck me, Edward. Do it again."

I leaned forward and kissed her shoulder before pulling back so I almost slipped out of her. I gripped her hips tightly and thrust into her again.

"Oh, that's feels so good," I moaned loudly as she cried out again.

"Yes," she whimpered. "Take me, Edward."

I ran my hands up her back and grabbed her shoulders. Then I pulled back and started thrusting roughly. It was completely mind-blowing and she was so tight in this position. I couldn't stop my mouth from running and telling her how wonderful I felt.

"Oh, Isabella. God, that's so good," I panted. "Oh, it feels so amazing!"

She mewled and panted, and I noticed that her hands were gripped the desk tightly.

"Is it ok? Is it good?" I gasped.

"So fucking good!" she moaned and moved her right hand between her legs.

"Oh God, are you touching yourself?"

She nodded fervently and this aroused me even further. She was so confidant and self-assured, and I didn't have to worry about my performance when I was with her. Isabella would always clue me into what she needed to feel good. She leaned down on her forearm and changed the angle. I pushed into her again and let out a strangled guttural moan when I felt how much deeper I could go now. She enveloped me completely and she felt incredible around me without any barriers between us. I grabbed onto her hips again and my thrusts became faster and wilder with each one.

"Oh, yes! That's it, baby!" she shouted. "Fuck me! Fuck me!"

I pounded into her with a sense of savagery I didn't know I possessed and felt her become impossibly tighter around me.

"I-I'm close," I panted. "I can't….You feel too good. Please come!"

As if my words were a trigger she let out a cry and I felt her clench all around me, and finally allowed myself to get lost in the sensations.

"Oh God! Oh_ fuck!_ Isabella!" I yelled and started to climax.

I squeezed my eyes shut and thrust wildly into her and felt myself come so hard that it completely took my breath away. I pulled back and pushed forward again slowly and let out a loud moan as my body started to relax and my orgasm reached its end. I fell forward and wrapped my arms around her shaking form and covered her shoulders and neck with soft kisses while we both breathed heavily.

"Isabella," I murmured and rested my head against on her shoulder. "Are you ok?"

She let out a small laugh.

"I'm much better than ok," she said. "That was fantastic. I can't remember the last time I had an orgasm like that." _Really? Because of me?!_

I didn't say anything because I knew she would just tease me and say that I was fishing for compliments. I lifted my upper body and finally got a good look at the tattoo below the nape of her neck which I had only faintly registered before for obvious reasons. It was a small circle with four butterflies facing the center, and I was surprised that I actually found it to be quite beautiful. I placed a kiss on it and pulled out of her slowly. She stood up and started walking towards the bathroom when I grabbed her wrist and pulled her to me for a passionate kiss. I didn't want to let go of her right away, and I knew that we wouldn't be touching each other a lot now that we had had sex. We didn't cuddle very much and that was perfectly fine, but right now I wanted to feel her close to me.

"You are incredible," I whispered against her lips.

"Mmm," she hummed. "You're not so bad yourself."

I held her for another minute before she started to pull away.

"I need to clean myself," she said. "That's the drawback with not using a condom, I guess."

"Oh, of course," I said and let go of her.

"It was a lot better though," she said with a smile.

"Uh, yeah," I said and ran my hands through my hair.

I was a little amazed how much of a difference it really made in terms of sensitivity. It had felt fantastic to be inside her with nothing between us.

"Hey, you're not regretting it, are you?" she asked and looked up at me. "I swear I'm on the pill and I don't have any STDs."

"No, not at all," I said immediately. "Um, but why did you want to do it without one now?"

"To be perfectly honest, I couldn't wait another second to feel your cock inside me," she said with a grin. "I mean, it's been a week."

"Yeah, uh, that's a long time," I said.

I didn't want to tell her that before I slept with her the first time it had been years since my last sexual encounter. A week was nothing compared to that, but I knew what she meant. I had been desperate to be inside her again, and it seemed that she had felt the same urgency.

"And you're a responsible guy," she added. "I know that you wouldn't lie about being safe."

"No, I wouldn't do that," I said immediately.

She smiled and walked into the bathroom. I pulled up my pants and boxers which were still pooled around my ankles and put on my shirt. She came back out and started dressing again.

"God, I'm hungry," she said.

"I can make us something?" I suggested.

"Oh, that's nice of you to offer but I don't have any food in the house," she said.

"We, um, we could go to my place," I said carefully. "I have everything there to make dinner."

She looked at me closely.

"You could come by in an hour and I'll have it ready," I added.

For the first time I felt hesitation in her. Her eyes showed apprehension and that was something I had never seen in them before.

"An hour?" she asked. "I don't know. I'm more into instant gratification."

"I'll make it worth the wait," I coaxed.

I didn't want our time together to be over yet even though we had already slept together and I hoped that she would say yes. I liked spending time with her. She was easy to talk to and I was starting to feel bored when I was home alone. That was definitely a first for me and I didn't like it one bit.

_Please come over, Isabella._

"Are you a good cook?" she asked.

"I've never had any complaints."

_Well, in all fairness I've only ever cooked for Emmett and he would eat road kill if it had melted cheese on top. _

I could see the wheels turning in her head, and I wondered why a simple offer to eat dinner at my place would make her so pensive.

"Ok, I guess we could do that," she finally said and gave me a small smile.

_Yes!_

"I'll go home and get started then," I said eagerly and walked to the door. "I'll see you in an hour."

I was almost outside when she called my name. I turned and looked at her.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked with a grin.

_What? Oh, I didn't kiss her goodbye._

I walked over and cupped her face in my hands and gave her a soft kiss. She let out a small laugh.

"What is it?" I asked.

"That was nice, but I actually meant that you didn't give me your address."

_Oh! God, how I ever managed to become a professor with my idiotic brain is beyond me._

I told her where I lived and kissed her again before I left. As I was driving home I thought about what to make her for dinner, which wine I should open and what music I should put on.

_She prefers red wine and I have that really great bottle I've been saving. I should probably stop by a store and buy some candles. She really likes those. _

Suddenly I felt a huge rush of nervousness when I realized what I was actually planning in my head.

_I'm having Isabella over for a date!_

**Is it a date? **

**Has Emmett already figured out what's going on?**

**Is it wise to go commando in class?**

**Is the fluttering sensation in Professorward's stomach really because he ate some bad seafood?**

**Let me know! **

**Oh, I almost forgot: I actually love 'Let's get it on' by Marvin Gaye but since Edward wasn't getting much of anything on before Isabella he just loathes it. **


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Hey everyone, it's date night! "No, it's not a date." Shh…Quiet, Edward.**

**As I was saying, it's date night and I hope you like this long chapter. **

**Melanie (Edward's Eternal) is just awesome on every level and I couldn't do this without her. Well, I probably could but it would seriously suck. Never leave me Beta goddess!**

**Thank you for your great reviews and your continued support.**

**Enjoy! (And please read my AN at the end of the chapter)**

EPOV

_It's not a date. It's NOT a date!_

I rushed through the supermarket throwing things in my cart while I kept telling myself that I was not about to have a date with Isabella. We were just having dinner and that was all. She had already made it perfectly clear that she didn't date, and we weren't in a relationship.

_I don't even like her._

The second the thought passed through my head I knew that it was a lie. I _did_ like her. Not romantically, of course, that was just preposterous. But I did enjoy spending time with her and not just in bed, although that was where we were usually situated since she didn't have a dining table or a couch. I loved sleeping with her, but I also had a good time just talking to her and watching movies together. It was a welcome change from spending most nights by myself. I had never felt lonely but I had wanted to spend time with someone for a while now, and Isabella was easy to be with.

We discussed literature, which was the one interest that we had in common. Well, apart from sex obviously. We were both interested in that as well. I wondered if she had planned our encounter today before she came to class. She had told me that she had worn the outfit for me because she thought that I would like it. She had been absolutely right, too. It had turned me on beyond belief to see her dressed so modestly because I knew that it was deceptive at best. Isabella certainly wasn't shy about her body and her sexuality and I really liked that about her. In the beginning it had intimidated me but now I acknowledged that I actually preferred it that way. I didn't feel as nervous about sleeping with her as I had at first. The knowledge that she would tell me what to do without judging me for my lack of experience was very freeing and it allowed me to relax and enjoy myself when we were together.

_She's not like the other women at all._

I shuddered a little when I recalled my previous experiences in the bedroom: Fumbling and nervous touches under the covers and women under me who didn't offer words of confirmation or encouragement during the experiences. The mortifying realization afterwards when I discovered that they hadn't enjoyed themselves and I had failed to make them orgasm. Unreturned phone calls, disappointment and self-doubt filling the weeks after the experience, making me doubt my abilities as a lover and drive me into celibacy. That summed up my sexual past and I hated thinking about it. Having a brother who bragged openly about his many conquests that left a trail of satisfied women all over the Bay Area who, in his own words, were begging him for more, and my own embarrassing experiences haunting me had left me despondent and weary.

But then Isabella had come along. Isabella, with her openness and no-nonsense attitude towards sex who had shown me how great it could feel to lose oneself in physical pleasure and not focus on cerebral matters constantly. She was a break from all that and I would be a fool not to like her for that reason alone.

_It's not a date but I still want to give her a great night at my place._

I could reciprocate her kindness with a nice home cooked meal, which I was under the impression was something of a rarity in Isabella's diet since she didn't cook at all.

I quickly finished up the grocery shopping and raced home to my apartment. Thankfully I had just cleaned the day before so I didn't have to worry about that.

_Not that she would care with the clutter she's used to living in. _

I started dinner immediately because I knew that she was hungry already and I didn't want her to have to wait too long once she arrived. I had decided to make Chicken Cacciatore which took almost an hour to cook and I was already behind schedule. I could have made her something simpler with what I had at home, but I wanted her to enjoy her time here which might prompt her to come back another night.

I prepared the chicken pieces, browned them and moved onto the vegetables while I thought about what would happen when she arrived. Then a frightening notion hit me.

_What if she cancels?_

She had seemed a little reluctant at first when I had invited her and I suddenly worried that she might have changed her mind. I checked my phone but thankfully she hadn't texted me since I left her apartment. I went back in the kitchen where I covered the chicken and vegetables with diced tomatoes and a little white wine and left it to simmer while I boiled water for the fresh pasta that I had picked up. I knew that Isabella could eat a lot which was actually rather refreshing compared to most women I had dated, and decided to slice some ciabatta bread as well.

I set the table and wondered if Isabella might feel inspired to buy a dining table once she realized how nice it was to eat at one. She could just get a small one with two chairs for when I visited her.

_No, probably not. I bet she likes eating in bed. She doesn't strike me as the kind of girl who cares about doing what others do. _

I looked around my apartment and tried to view it with neutral eyes: Hardwood floors, white walls with a few paintings in discrete tones, all in metal frames. A dark-grey couch, coffee table, dining table and book shelves in light-colored wood. It didn't give much away about the person who lived here except the fact that the person obviously was a stickler for order. My books, CDs and DVDs were alphabetized and all the surfaces were empty. It was the exact opposite of Isabella's apartment, and I was fairly sure that she would hate it here.

_She probably won't come back if she doesn't like it here._

I pulled out the candles that I had bought at the supermarket and rummaged through several drawers before I found some candlesticks. I set the table and lit the candles. Then I thought about the music which was an even more daunting task. Isabella seemed to love music and I was a little worried that she wouldn't like my taste. I decided to let her choose once she got here.

After I had set the table I took a five minute shower and changed into a light beige sweater and a pair of dark khaki pants.

_Don't wear a belt no matter how odd it feels. Emmett said that it looked geriatric! _

I kept my hair as it was since I had only received compliments since I stopped taming it. I still thought it looked peculiar sticking out like that but everyone else said that it looked good so I believed them. The doorbell rang and I felt a fluttering in my stomach again while my heart thundered in my chest.

_God, I must be more nervous than I thought!_

I rushed to the door, ridiculously eager to see her again and practically ripped it open. Her eyes stared at me in wonder and in the next second I was up against the wall with her pressed against me and her lips on mine, kissing me hungrily. It only took me a moment to recover from her attack before I picked her up and turned us around so I was pinning her against the wall. She wrapped her legs around my waist and fisted her small hands in my hair. The kiss deepened and she moaned into my mouth when I kneaded her backside and ground into her.

"Fuck," she panted when she broke the kiss. "I want you, but I'm completely starving too."

I let out a small laugh and lowered her legs down.

"Let's have some dinner," I said before I cupped her face and gave her a quick kiss.

"Yeah, sounds good," she breathed.

I looked at her and was happy to see that she hadn't put on any makeup and her hair was still braided. Her outfit was different though. She was wearing a short black skirt and a tight red t-shirt with some writing on it.

"Don't you ever get cold?" I blurted out.

"No, not when I'm standing next to someone as hot as you," she answered with a grin.

_I'm hot?_

"You look so fucking good tonight, Edward. That's why I jumped you."

"I do?" I asked.

"Yeah, I've never seen you look so casual before," she said.

"Oh, is that, um, good?" I asked unsurely.

"I think so. You're usually all prim and proper to look at but tonight you just look…sexy as hell," she said and looked me up and down.

My cheeks got warmer under her scrutiny and she laughed a little.

"You're so fucking cute sometimes," she said, and before I knew it she was back in my arms and had me pressed against the wall while we kissed passionately.

I picked her up again and without breaking the kiss I carried her into the living room where we ended up on the couch. She ran her hands all over me and I was ready to forget all about eating when her stomach growled loudly and she laughed.

"Dinner?" I murmured against her neck where I had been busy kissing her soft warm skin.

"Dinner," she confirmed.

I helped her up and straightened my clothes while she did the same. I felt a little awkward but she seemed perfectly at ease with the whole situation and smiled at me. I had no idea what I should say to her and felt my familiar nervousness returning.

"Um, would you like some wine?" I asked.

"Sure, red if you have it," she said and looked around.

I escaped into the kitchen where I took a couple of deep breaths while I poured the wine and dropped the pasta into the water. She was looking at my books when I came back in and I handed her a glass.

"Are you going to give me a tour?" she asked and took a sip.

"Err, sure," I said and led her through my apartment.

She saw the kitchen, my office, the bathroom and bedroom last.

"So, um, what do you think?" I asked nervously.

"It's great," she said with a smile. "Exactly what I expected and yet completely different."

"Oh, what does that mean?"

"Well, I can see that you're a bit of a fuddy duddy," she teased and nudged me with her elbow.

_I can't really argue with that._

"And that's what you're like in class mostly so it makes sense."

She hesitated but I could see that she wanted to say something else.

"But?" I asked.

"I'm just a little surprised that it's so…cold," she finally said.

"I can turn up the thermostat?"

She laughed.

"No, I didn't mean the temperature. It just seems a little platonic."

"Platonic?" I asked. "Lacking passion?"

"Exactly," she said. "That doesn't really seem like you at all. Your apartment is a little cold and you're extremely hot as we established earlier."

"Um, no one else sees me that way, I guess. I like things to be in place."

She nodded and looked around again.

"You must hate my apartment," she said with a small laugh and went back into the living room.

_I really and truly do. But I can live with it because you're there._

I didn't tell her this but followed her silently.

"I'll check on the food." I said. "You can pick out some music if you'd like."

She nodded and went over to my CD's while I went into the kitchen.

_Ok, it's going well so far. She doesn't seem to hate the place. But maybe she's just pretending not to hate it like I do at her apartment?_

I carried the food to the table and Isabella was still looking for something she wanted to hear.

"Can you find anything you like?" I asked.

_Probably not!_

She turned and smiled.

"I don't really know a lot of classical music or opera and that's what you have mostly. I'm sort of flying blind here."

"Oh, sorry," I said lamely, although I had no idea why I was apologizing about my taste in music.

"Ah, here we are," she said happily and pulled out a CD. "I know this guy."

I walked over to her and watched as she put on an old Leonard Cohen album. We both listened as the first track 'Suzanne' started and she smiled brightly.

_She is so beautiful._

I really wanted to kiss her and reached up my hand and traced her bottom lip with my thumb. She looked curiously at me and I leaned down and kissed her softly. The music flowed around us as she kissed me back, slowly and gently and I felt the unfamiliar fluttering in my stomach again. I didn't have time to dwell on is because Isabella ended the kiss and took a deep breath.

"Wow…Intense," she said quietly. "His voice is hypnotic."

"Uh-huh," I said, moronically. "Um, are you hungry?"

She shook her head, as if to clear it and took another deep breath.

"Starving," she said and gave me a smile.

We walked over to the table and I started to pull out her chair when she went to sit down.

"Oh sorry," she said quickly. "Is this your usual seat?"

"Um no," I said, because 'um' had apparently become a common word in my vocabulary since I started seeing Isabella privately.

"Then why are you stealing my chair?" she asked, looking amused.

"I, uh, I was pulling it out for you?" I said, although it sounded more like a question.

"O…k?" she said. "Why?"

"It's polite," I said and scratched my neck nervously.

"No shit? Hmm, I never knew that," she said and sat down.

"You've never been out on a date before?" I asked.

_Shit! Why did I say date? This is not a date!_

"Uh, not that this is a date or anything," I added quickly and sat down across from her.

She gave me a dubious look.

"Look Edward, I already told you that I'm not into the whole dating thing and that includes holding out chairs. I appreciate you cooking, but you really don't have to do this whole 'wine and dine' routine with me. You're going to get laid, ok?"

_Does she really think I have an ulterior motive?_

"That's not why I…"

I motioned to the food.

"You were hungry and you didn't have anything at your house," I said weakly. "I didn't do it for…_that_."

"Then why did you?" she asked, seeming genuinely curious.

"I just…I-I."

_I like spending time with you. You __**can**__ tell her that, moron. _

"I like, um, "hanging out" with you," I said making air quotes with my fingers. "Or whatever you kids are calling it these days," I muttered.

She laughed a little and the tension evaporated.

"I like hanging out with you too," she said. "And this looks delicious."

I reached for her plate but pulled my hand back again. I was about to ask her if I could serve her some, but changed my mind because that would probably fall under the 'things I would do on a date' category. I sighed. This was difficult.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I'm, um, I'm not used to spending time with a woman like this. I mean, without it being a date. I'm used to doing certain things and it's hard to break the pattern."

"What sorts of things?" she asked.

"Pull out your chair, serve you dinner, and pour the wine for you. Those sorts of things," I said and motioned for her to take some food.

"Oh, all that gentleman stuff you see on TV," she said and filled her plate.

I wanted to tell her that gentlemen weren't just mythical creatures reserved for fairytales and TV shows, but she didn't care if I were a gentleman or not so I didn't say anything.

"Hey," she said with a grin. "Just pretend that I'm your brother when we hang out."

"Not if you ever want me to touch you again," I said and made a face which made her laugh.

"Oh, I definitely want you to touch me again," she said with an alluring smile.

"That's, uh, good," I said and fought my nerves.

"It will be good," she practically purred and twirled her fork around the pasta.

_What is she doing to me? When did eating pasta become erotic?_

Apparently it became erotic right around the time Isabella parted her lips and slid the fork into her mouth. The fact that she let out a small moan when she tasted it didn't make matters any easier for me and I shifted a little in my seat.

"This is delicious," she said and twirled her fork again.

"Thank you," I said, completely mesmerized by her lips.

"You're not eating," she said and took another bite.

"I know," I said dumbly but made no move to do so.

"So I was pretty surprised that I didn't hear from you at all this past week," she said and took a sip of her wine.

"You were?"

"Yes. I expected a text from you at least once. Why didn't you write me?"  
_Because I was afraid you would say no._

"Um, you didn't contact me either," I said feeling very juvenile.

"I had my period," she said with a shrug. "But I would have helped you out if you had been in the mood one night."

I didn't think it wise to tell her that ever since I started sleeping with her I was more or less in the mood every single night.

"Ok," I said and started eating.

"This works both ways, Edward. You get that, right?"

I nodded.

"Good, just send me a text if you're up for some fun one night. If I'm home I won't say no."

I nodded again.

"Did you…?" I hesitated.

"Did I…What?" she asked.

"Did you plan what happened today?" I asked.

"Oh, you mean the clothes and stuff," she grinned. "Let's just say that I had a good inkling that you would find that outfit appealing."

"How did you know?"

"Edward, please," she said. "I was a naughty school girl and you're a teacher. It doesn't take a genius."

_Oh God, I am such a pervert._

"There's nothing wrong with having fantasies," she said softly.

"I know," I said quietly.

"I really liked what we did today," she said. "Didn't you?"

_No, I loved it! It was the best sex I've ever had!_

"Yes, I liked it," I said and looked down.

"Fantasies are a lot of fun to live out," she said.

"Is that what you're doing with me?" I asked without thinking.

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking confused.

The thought had come out of nowhere but now that it had entered my mind I couldn't ignore it.

_What if I am Isabella's professor fantasy? Will she get her fill of me soon and move on the next fantasy?_

"Am I your professor fantasy?" I asked quietly and looked into her eyes.

Her facial features changed from confusion to understanding immediately.

"No," she said softly. "I mean, yes, you're my professor and I've wanted to fuck you since the first class but it's not a fantasy per say. If I had met you somewhere else I still would have wanted to do this with you."

"What…what is this?" I asked, unable to stop myself. "Are we, err, sex-buddies?"

"Yeah, that's a good way to put it. We like having sex with each other and we hang out like buddies."

She nodded and smiled, but for some reason I couldn't share her enthusiasm completely. "What is it?" she asked.

"It just sounds so...impersonal," I said with a shrug.

"You're over-thinking it again, I think," she said. "You like fucking me, right?"

"Um, yes," I said.

"I figured as much since you said the word 'fuck' and everything earlier," she grinned widely.

"I think that was the first time I ever used that word," I admitted.

"I bet I can make you say it again," she said.

"Is that a challenge?" I asked, feeling courageous suddenly.

"More like a promise," she said nonchalantly and gave me a wink.

My cell phone started ringing and I groaned loudly when I heard the song.

"Interesting choice of ringtone," she laughed.

"Emmett," I said and rolled my eyes. "Do you mind?"

"No no," she said and dug into her plate while I stood up and answered it.

"Edward Cullen;" I said when I answered.

"Oh, hello. This is Kate Jackson, my mother is friends with your mother?"

_Oh damn! Of all the rotten luck!_

"Yes, um, hello," I said awkwardly and glanced at Isabella who seemed to be enjoying the food a lot. "I've been expecting your call."

Truthfully I had almost forgotten that my mother wanted to fix me up. I looked at Isabella who was now having a second plate.

_I'm so happy that she likes it. What should I cook for her next time? I wonder if she likes cake? I could bake her one. . _

"Am I catching you at a bad time?" Kate asked politely.

"Sorry," I said, because frankly I was being a little rude. "Yes, this is not the best time, I'm afraid."

"That's alright," she said. "Should I call you tomorrow?"

"I, uh."

_Oh shit! What am I going to do?_

"Yes, that will be fine," I said and cringed inwardly.

"Alright, I will talk to you tomorrow. Have a nice evening, Edward."  
"You too, Kate," I answered automatically.

_I didn't just say her name in front of Isabella? I did NOT just say her name in front of Isabella! Oh, who the hell am I kidding?_

She looked up at me when I flopped down across from her and I was worried about her reaction. I scanned her face for unpleasant emotions but there was nothing. It was excruciating that I couldn't read her properly. I had to know how she felt about this.

"That was a woman named Kate Jackson. Her mother and my mother are friends and they are trying to set us up on a blind date."

"Ok," she said shifted in her seat before she lowered her eyes.

_Is she uncomfortable because of that?_

"I don't have to go," I said quietly.

She looked up at me again.

"That's ok," she said. "Just let me know if things get serious with her and we'll stop doing this."

_But I don't want to stop doing this. _

"Really Edward, you should go," she said. "It's no big deal. I don't date but that doesn't mean that you can't. That's what most people do. It's just not for me."

"Ok," I said, although I didn't feel ok about it at all.

"So…What are you doing this summer?" Isabella asked, effectively changing the subject.

"Oh, nothing special," I said. "I have some articles I'm working on that I'd like to finish when the semester is over and I'll probably take a trip to Napa Valley for wine tastings."

"That sounds like fun," she said. "I like this one, by the way," she added and held up her glass.

"Yeah, I bought that last summer. I go almost every year. What are you doing?"

"Not much of anything," she said. "I'll probably go to L.A a few times with the girls if there are any good bands in town but that's about it."

"No vacations? Trips abroad?" I asked, knowing that Isabella had travelled a lot in her past due to my Facebook research.

_Research, stalking. Potato, potato._

"No, I have things that keep me here," she said and looked down.

"Things?"

"Just things," she said vaguely.

_Things? What things?_

"Well, dinner was excellent, Edward," she said, once again changing the subject. "I haven't had Chicken Cacciatore since I visited Italy the last time."  
"You've been to Italy?" I asked, hoping that I sounded surprised.

_Like I didn't already know. God, I am such a stalker!_

"Yeah, I travelled a lot after high school. I wanted to see more of the world before I started college. Have you travelled?"

"No," I admitted. "I've never left the U.S. I was too busy with studying."

"That's too bad," she said. "But being a professor is a pretty big accomplishment in itself. You could still go if you wanted to."

"I suppose so," I said doubtfully. "Um, would you like some more to eat?"

"No thanks," she said with a smile. "It was really good. You're a great cook."

"Thanks," I said and returned the smile. "Was it worth the wait?"  
"Definitely. I don't think I want to wait for dessert, though."

"Oh, sorry," I started. "I didn't-"

"That wasn't the kind of dessert I was talking about, Edward," she said and played with one of her braids.

_Oh? She means…OH!_

"Uh, what did you have in mind?" I asked.

She stood up slowly and walked over to me.

"Something pretty simple. You, me and your bed," she said. "If you're up for it, that is?"

I was most definitely up for it and followed her into the bedroom. She sat down on the bed and looked up at me.

"Undress for me," she said and bit her bottom lip. "I want to see your fuck-hot body."

I flushed a little and pulled the sweater over my head. Isabella mirrored my action and took of her t-shirt. She was wearing a black satin bra that gave her beautiful cleavage and my breathing sped up.

"Are you, um, are you wearing something underneath?" I asked and pointed to her skirt.

_Do I want her to say yes or no? It doesn't matter. Both answers will lead to something incredibly sexy!_

She smirked and traced the swell of her breast.

"You have to take off your pants to find out," she said and looked expectantly at me.

I took them off and she smiled.

"Now you," I said.

She stood up and unzipped the skirt before dragging it down over her hips and letting it fall to the floor. She was wearing black panties underneath and I found the courage to motion for her to turn around. She twirled slowly and I admired her beautiful body. She reached behind her back and opened her bra before she let it join her skirt on the floor. Without me having to say anything she hooked her thumbs underneath her panties and slipped them off as well. She was completely naked in front of me and was so stunning that I simply stared at her. She lay back down on the bed and pointed to my boxers.

"Show me," she said softly.

I swallowed nervously and pulled my boxers down.

"Fuck," she sighed and looked me up and down. "You are one sexy gorgeous man, Edward Cullen."

"You are too," I said and almost smacked myself when I heard what just came out of my mouth.

"Um, woman, of course" I corrected immediately.

She simply smiled and ran her hands over her breasts. I inhaled sharply when she pinched her nipples and lowered her right hand.

"What are you…" I trailed off and took a deep breath.

"I'm touching myself," she said huskily. "Looking at you is making me so hot."

I watched in rapt fascination as she parted her folds and rubbed her clit slowly. She arched her back and let out a moan.

_Oh God, she is so unbelievably sexy!_

"Stroke your cock for me," she whimpered.

_What? Can I do that in front of her?_

"Please, baby," she said softly.

I nodded and wrapped my right hand around my length, and started stroking it slowly.

"That's it," she sighed. "Fuck, you look so hot doing that."

"You do too," I offered and gawked at her while she pleasured herself right in front of me.

"Come over here," she said. "I want to taste you."

_Oh God, yes!_

I walked over and she sat up on the bed and grabbed my length. Before I could say anything she slid it into her warm mouth and I moaned loudly. She spread her legs and started touching herself again. The sight of her lips around me and her fingers caressing herself was almost too much and I twitched in her mouth while I tried to steady my breathing.

"God, that feels so amazing," I groaned when she sucked eagerly and swirled her tongue around the head.

I loved it when she did this to me, and thankfully she seemed to enjoy it a lot as well.

_I haven't ever done that for her though._

I felt embarrassed when I realized how selfish I had been when it came to oral pleasure. Isabella probably loved receiving as much as she did giving and I had never offered to return the favor, so to speak. Part of the reason was that I had no idea how to perform oral sex but also because I was shy about offering it. I looked down at her fingers stroking herself and saw how aroused she was.

"Can I…"

She released me from her mouth and looked up at me. I took a calming breath.

"Can I, um, t-taste you, too?" I asked nervously.

She gave me a breathtakingly beautiful smile and nodded. She lay back down on the bed and I followed her. I kissed her deeply and moved down her body where I massaged her breasts and sucked on her nipples. I knew that she enjoyed this from the other times we had been together and I wasn't nervous about using my mouth on her here. Below her waist was another matter entirely though and I felt my nervousness creep over me as I kissed her stomach. I hesitated and looked up at her.

"I-I want you to feel good," I said. "But I…"

She gave me a smile and ran her fingers through my hair.

"Don't worry," she said. "Just do what you do when you're touching me."

I nodded and took a deep breath before I lay down on my elbows between her parted legs. I caressed her bare lips with my fingers and rubbed her clit with my thumb while she moaned softly. I mimicked the actions and licked her lips before I placed my tongue on her clit and massaged it slowly.

"Oh, that's good," she breathed out.

_Thank God!_

Slowly I pushed two fingers inside her while I continued using my tongue. I moved my fingers in and out of her and was rewarded with her moans and sighs.

"Curl your fingers a little, baby," she told me when I pushed into her.

_Ok? Why?_

I did as she told me and I heard her gasp when I passed a spot inside her.

_What is that?_

I did it again and got the same response from Isabella. I raised my head and looked at her.

"Um, is that good?"

She nodded eagerly and I must have looked confused because she laughed softly.

"That's my g-spot you're touching," she said.

_Oh wow!_

"It's real?" I asked dumbly.

"Very real," she laughed.

"Should I keep going?" I asked.

"Please," she said. "It's feels really good."

I smiled and lowered my head, and worked her with my tongue while I pumped my fingers in and out going a little faster than before. I became more confidant and sucked lightly on her clit.

"Oh, fuck!" Isabella moaned and fisted her hands in my hair.

_She likes that!_

I alternated between sucking and using my tongue while I slid my fingers in and out of her and felt how she started to tighten around my fingers. Isabella moved her hips against me, panting and mewling now and I knew that she was getting close to her climax.

"More…tongue," she gasped.

I flicked it over her clit repeatedly and she moaned out my name. Out of nowhere she sucked in a deep breath and clamped down around my fingers. She clenched again and again, and I kept working her as before. I curled my fingers and she let out a small scream.

"Fuck…Again! she moaned loudly and threw her head back while she gripped my hair tighter.

_Again! Oh my God!_

She contracted around my fingers and I kept licking and sucking until I felt her hips come down and she eased her hold on my hair. I looked up at her and couldn't stop myself from grinning widely. Isabella was breathing heavily and her pale skin was flushed over her chest and neck. I couldn't resist the urge to lean down and give her tight entrance a small lick. The taste of her arousal was indescribable: A little tangy, a little sweet and all Isabella. I crawled up her body placing kisses along my way and heard her sigh. I captured her lips and massaged her tongue with mine. I could feel my length lined up with her entrance and lifted my head to look at her.

"Jesus, fuck, Edward," she panted. "That was incredible!"

"Really?" I asked even though I knew she had climaxed.

_Twice!_

I loved hearing her tell me.

"Amazing," she said with a smile. "Fucking amazing."

I smiled back and kissed her again, and felt her wrap her legs around me.

"Do you want to fuck me?" she asked and reached down and grabbed my length.

"God, yes," I half-moaned.

"Tell me _how_ much," she purred and sucked on my earlobe while she stroked me with her hand.

"I want you so fucking much," I practically whimpered. "I need to be inside you, Isabella."

_I need it so badly!_

"I want it too," she whispered in my ear and positioned my length before she lifted her hips a little. "Fuck me, Edward."

I plunged my tongue into her mouth and thrust into her with a strangled groan. She broke the kiss and cried out, which I now recognized as a sign of pleasure and quickly started moving in and out of her at a fast pace. Her hands grabbed my buttocks and urged me on and she called my name.

"Oh, oh God, Isabella," I moaned and kissed her.

I panted against her parted lips, our foreheads were almost touching and our movements were perfectly synchronized. Pleasure was coursing through my body and I knew that I wouldn't be able to last long this time. The intense foreplay and the lack of a barrier between us threatened to bring me over the edge immediately, but I desperately wanted her to fall with me.

"Isabella," I gasped. "Please come, let me feel you."

I reached down between us and rubbed her hard and fast until she arched her back under me and cried my name. The second I felt her inner muscles clench around me it triggered my orgasm and I thrust into her in wild abandon while my climax washed over me. Everything else faded and only one word entered my mind during my ecstasy.

_Isabella!_

I breathed heavily against her lips and kissed her gently before I pulled back and looked into her eyes.

"That was…"

I was at a loss for words and apparently so was Isabella because she simply nodded and took a deep breath. I kissed her again, pulled out slowly and rested my head on her chest. I felt her fingers in my hair stroking it gently and I smiled. After a few minutes she shifted under me and I knew that time was up. Isabella only cuddled for a little while before pulling away and usually I was fine with that, but tonight I wished that she would keep touching my hair and let me feel her close to me. I lifted my head and kissed her again before I rolled off her and closed my eyes. I felt her leave my bed and walk into the bathroom.

_It was different this time. I don't know why but it was._

I lay there trying to figure out why it had felt different to sleep with her tonight. Maybe it was because we were at my place, or because we had done things in reverse order and eaten before having sex. Isabella came back in and I scanned her from head to toe. Her naked skin looked luminescent and her hair was now loose and wavy the way I loved it. She looked like a goddess of feminine beauty.

"God, you're magnificent," I whispered.

Her eyes widened slightly before her lips curved up in a beautiful smile.

"Thank you. You say the sweetest things," she said softly. "Why some woman hasn't made an honest man out of you is beyond me," she added with her lopsided grin.

I waved my hand dismissively and watched as she got dressed again. It felt almost wrong for her to cover up her perfect body, and I wondered what she was doing with someone like me.

"Why me, Isabella?" I asked.

"Why you, what?" she asked, looking puzzled.

"Why did you choose me? I mean, you could have anyone," I said.

She sat down on the bed and smiled.

"I thought you were insanely hot the first time I saw you in class, but it wasn't like I was planning anything. Meeting you that night outside the bar was just luck and the fact that you turned out to be really great in bed and a decent guy was completely serendipitous."

"Why did you want to keep seeing me after the first night?" she asked curiously. "You could have your pick of women, Edward."

"Hardly," I scoffed and looked down.

"Why is that ?"

I looked up at her, feeling anxious about revealing something so intimate about myself.

"Before I met you I hadn't had, um, sex in almost four years, I whispered and looked down again, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"Four years?" she gasped. "Why? You mentioned that you haven't had a lot of sex but still."

"I've only ever slept with women I've dated and it was never like this," I said. "I guess I just started believing that I wasn't any good."

"Well, I can hereby inform you that you, Edward Cullen, are a fantastic fuck," she said. "I really mean that."

"Thank you, I'm sorry that I'm not more experienced," I said weakly.

I was a little scared that Isabella would grow weary of me because of my lack of knowledge and move on to someone who knew how to bed her properly.

"Don't apologize," she said immediately. "I honestly don't care about that. I like teaching you this stuff."

"You do?" I asked her skeptically.

"Yeah, I'm having a lot of fun, aren't you?"

I nodded and smiled.

"Good," she said and stood up. "Don't worry, Edward, I'll teach you anything you want to learn."

"The next woman you sleep with after me won't know what hit her," she added and winked.

_But…I don't want to sleep with any other women._

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" she asked.

"Um, sure," I said, and watched as she bounced out of the bedroom.

I sat there on the bed feeling perplexed. I did have a lot of fun with Isabella and I was truly grateful that she taught me so much about sex. It had just never occurred to me that she expected me to use what I had learned with other women. Of course I knew that she was right. We weren't in a relationship and if I wanted something like that I would need to start dating again. But if I got serious about another woman I couldn't keep seeing Isabella.

_Grow up, Cullen! This is just a casual thing and you do want a proper girlfriend someday. You're actually lucky that she's willing to teach you everything you never knew. Just enjoy it while it lasts. _

I sighed and started dressing. Isabella appeared at the door.

"Coming, buddy?" she asked with a sweet smile.

_Buddy. I have never hated a word so much in my life! What is going on with me?_

**Poor Professorward, so clueless. Seriously, he's not stupid. He has just never been in love and romantic feelings are completely foreign to him. ;)**

**Now, as some of you already know I have exams coming up (a lot of them, I'm afraid!) So if any of you have a paper on Vietnam War novels or The New Deal, feel free to send them my way. (Just kidding…maybe)**

**Unfortunately, I can't promise that I'll update before they are completed (June 15****th****) so don't expect anything but be pleasantly surprised if it happens.**

**That's all for now. Thank you for reading and reviewing. **


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Yay, an update before June 15****th****! ;)**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing my story, and as always a special thanks to Melanie, my partner in crime, my beta extraordinaire, the genius who came up with the idea for this chapter. Thank you my friend!**

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

_I cannot believe I'm doing this! _

I was sitting in my car outside a nice downtown restaurant about to meet Kate for dinner. I was nervous, jittery and sweating in my suit. This was not how I had hoped to spend my Friday night.

Isabella had been somewhat subdued in class today and didn't say much. Whenever I would sneak a glance at her she was staring into space and I don't think I saw her write a single note which was very uncharacteristic for her because she was always so studious. After class I had asked her if she was alright and she had offered me a small smile, and told me that she just had a lot on her mind. She didn't elaborate and I didn't ask her because she seemed like she wanted to keep whatever was distracting her private. I had once again asked her if she had any objections about my going out to dinner with Kate. She only had to say the word and I knew that I would cancel the date immediately and spend the night with her instead. But Isabella hadn't done that. She had said that she was fine with it and left hereafter. I noticed that there was no spring in her step and her shoulders looked a little slumped when she walked out of the classroom.

I couldn't figure out why her spirits seemed so low. If she didn't want me going out with Kate then surely she would have said something. Isabella was never one for keeping her opinion to herself on any subject. After having her in my class this semester I was absolutely sure of that. I decided that I would finally gather the courage and ask to see her. Truthfully, I wanted to see her tonight but I found it in poor taste to meet with her after having spent the first portion of the night with another woman. I wrote her a text.

'Isabella, if you aren't otherwise engaged I was wondering if you would like to come over tomorrow evening. Sincerely, Edward.'

I looked at the display and read the message over and over again. I took a deep breath and quickly pressed 'send' before I could change my mind. Immediately, I felt a flutter in my stomach again. What if she said no? Would she find me repulsive for wanting to see her just the night after I had taken another woman out to dinner?

_Now, stop that! Isabella already said that she would only decline if she had other plans and she told you several times that she didn't mind you dating, _

I knew all this to be true but I still felt rotten about my decision to see Kate tonight. I knew that I wanted to be married and have a family someday like most of my friends had, and the only way to obtain that dream was to date appropriate women. I couldn't keep postponing this if I wanted it to become reality one day. After all, I was thirty-two and while I didn't want children immediately I did want to be married for a while before having them. That meant that I would have to meet a woman in the near future as the eligible women my age were becoming less frequent by the hour. I took another deep breath and exited the car. I had to get over my apprehension unless I wanted to wind up alone and middle-aged. I truly loved spending time with Isabella but there was no future there. She was much too young and wild, and furthermore not at all interested in anything serious. She was beautiful, gratifying and wholly temporary. I knew this and therefore I had to give Kate a fair chance no matter how much the thought of seeing two women at the same time put me off.

I walked into the restaurant and spotted her by the bar. She had told me that she would be wearing a green dress and my eyes found her quickly. I took a few seconds to study her. She was tall, had a nice figure and light brown straight hair that reached her shoulders. The dress was modest but showed off her legs in a subtle way. She had on pumps with a sensible heel and a simple silver necklace. She was wearing a little make up on her eyes that were framed by a pair of glasses. All in all she was a nice-looking woman who didn't stand out but still got a few glances from the other men at the bar. I took another calming breath and walked over to her.

"Kate?" I inquired.

She smiled and nodded.

"You must be Edward," she said and held out her hand which I shook.

"It's nice to meet you," she said politely. "I've heard a lot about you."

"All good I hope," I said and cringed inwardly because that was such a cliché thing to say.

"Oh, yes," she said with a small laugh. "Apparently my mother has wanted me to meet Esme's son for years now."

"That's very flattering," I offered. "Would you like a drink?"

"That would be lovely. I'll have a white wine spritzer."

I ordered for the both of us but frowned a little at her choice of beverage. Why on earth anyone would ruin a nice glass of wine with club soda I would never understand.

_I bet Isabella would never order that. She loves wine as much as I do._

I shook my head lightly. I shouldn't be thinking about her now when I was out with Kate.

"The maitre d' told me that our table is ready," she said when we got our drinks.

"Alright, lead the way," I said.

We sat down at the table and started talking. I learned that Kate was from San Francisco but had been living on the east coast for a few years. She had wanted to come home to be closer to her family and when a career opportunity presented itself here she applied and had recently started her new job. She taught American history and politics but was also an avid reader of literature in her spare time. I told her about my job at the university and the various articles that I was working on at the moment. The waiter came over and we ordered dinner. I opted for a steak and Kate had sea bass. We talked a little more and then our food arrived. In the middle of the meal she excused herself and went to the bathroom. I stood up and looked after her as she walked away. When she was out of sight I discretely checked my phone to see if Isabella had responded to my text. I felt a surge of nervousness when I saw that she had answered me. I opened the message and read it quickly.

'I'm free tonight. I would love see you. See you, feel you and taste you, baby.'

_Holy hell!_

My nervousness was instantly replaced by lust. Pure unadulterated lust. The display on my phone lit up again and I was almost scared to read what Isabella had written.

'I'm touching myself and thinking of you, Edward. I want you inside me.'

_She is trying to kill me! I'll have a stroke in the middle of the restaurant and when they examine my body they'll determine that it was lack of blood to the brain that caused it!_

My mind was bombarded with images of Isabella lying naked on her bed while her hands caressed her perfect body and she moaned my name.

_I want her! Right now!_

I found myself ready to leave my dinner date and run to my car immediately, and suddenly my arousal mixed with anger.

_What kind of game is she playing anyway?_

Isabella was well aware of my plans with Kate and still she sent me suggestive messages. No, not suggestive. There was nothing suggestive about it. She was flat-out telling me that she wanted to have sex with me at this moment. What did she expect me to do? Abandon Kate and run to her apartment like some sort of hormonal teenager who would jump at the chance of having sex? Why was she teasing me like this? She knew that I was in a crowded place and still she taunted me and made me hard and throbbing with need. No, she couldn't treat me like that! I wouldn't let her. She could come to me when _I _thought it was the appropriate time.

'My place in two hours or not at all,' I wrote and pressed 'send'.

_Did I really just send that? What will she think? What if she says no? Oh God, what if she says no?_

The display lit up instantly.

'Yes, Professor. Sorry I was bad again.'

This _was_ another game to her! She had deliberately disturbed my date with her messages and made me ache for her.

_She is toying with me. I don't like it!_

Kate came back and I quickly put my phone away.

"Everything alright?" she asked politely and pointed to my coat pocket.

"Yes, everything is fine," I lied and offered her a smile.

I would focus on Isabella later. I couldn't think about her anymore right now or I would get angry again. Angry _and_ aroused, if I was being perfectly honest.

Kate and I picked up the conversation again easily. We shared a lot of the same interests and she also loved both classical music and opera like me.

"You know, you're nothing like I imagined you would be," she said when we were eating our dessert.

"Oh, how so?" I inquired and took a sip of my coffee.

"Well, first of all, you look too young to be a professor," she said and motioned at me with her hand.

"I suppose I am somewhat younger than my colleagues," I admitted. "I am thirty-two."

She nodded and scrutinized me with her gaze.

"You just don't look like an academic type," she declared. "Your hair, your clothes."

Automatically I ran my hand through my unruly hair and she smiled again. I looked down and I couldn't understand what she meant. I was wearing a light grey suit and a white shirt but I had decided not to wear a tie because I remembered that Emmett once told me that I looked too closed up -verging on constipated when I did it.

"Which type do I look like?" I asked curiously.

"An actor, maybe," she said. "Some sort of entertainer definitely."

"What makes you say that?" I asked, feeling a little stunned by how wrong her perception of me was.

"You're very confidant and you have a certain air about you. You're sure of yourself and that's very attractive on a man. You're obviously used to talking to women and you're not intimidated by a blind date."

_I think you might have me mistaken for Emmett Cullen. I'm Edward, remember?_

I couldn't believe her description of me. I was confidant and sure of myself? Since when?

She smiled and went back to eating her tiramisu while I sat across from her with what I was sure must have been a puzzled expression on my face. I quickly went over the evening in my head and it hit me like a ton of bricks: I hadn't been nervous at all! There was been no stuttering or scrambling around for words. I hadn't been unsure of what to say and the conversation had flowed easily.

_I'm not the least bit intimidated by Kate! _

I looked at her and wondered why she was so different than the other women I had dated. There was nothing about her that stood out and I couldn't figure out why I didn't feel the least bit apprehensive talking to her. She looked up and smiled.

"So Edward, would you like to do this again sometime?" she asked.

_No. _

It just came to me out of nowhere. I didn't care if anything ever happened between us. She was perfectly nice, I didn't have anything against her and she hadn't said or done anything that rubbed me the wrong way, so to speak. I just wasn't interested in her at all. Not in the slightest. There wasn't even a hint of attraction. She was pretty and well-dressed but I had no desire to touch her whatsoever. I remembered how nervous I had felt before the date started but that had evaporated the second I saw her at the bar. I didn't want her at all.

I looked at the woman across from me. She was exactly what my mother had predicted: Perfect. She was perfect for me and I didn't care at all.

Kate was the right age, she had the right job, she looked right. We had the same interests and goals in life. We were compatible. I should have been ecstatic about meeting a woman like her. And yet I couldn't care less if I ever saw her again in a romantic setting.

She wasn't who I wanted.

_I want Isabella. Only Isabella. _

The thought completely floored me. How had this happened? What had that obnoxious beautiful girl done to me? I was willing to throw away a woman like Kate, who was everything I should be looking for. And for what? A girl who granted me access to her body, but was otherwise unobtainable? I couldn't even think about kissing Kate because it felt like a betrayal of Isabella.

"No, I'm sorry," I said quietly and gave Kate a small apologetic smile.

Her face fell a little. I couldn't even feel all that guilty about turning her down and it shocked me.

"You are a very lovely woman," I said sincerely. "But…"

I didn't know how to finish the sentence.

"That's alright, Edward," she said and smiled. "I appreciate you being honest with me. Sometimes the attraction just isn't there."

I nodded. There was definitely no attraction.

"Friends?" I asked softly.

"I'd like that," she said.

Strangely enough it wasn't at all awkward after that. We talked about other things that we had in common, finished our dessert and I walked her to her car afterwards.

"I had a nice time," I told her honestly.

I had enjoyed talking to her even if there wasn't anything remotely romantic between us.

"I did too," she said with a smile. "Give me a call if you want to go to the symphony or something like that."

"I will," I promised.

She smiled again and I watched as she drove away. I had never turned down a woman before and I felt a little uneasy. Kate truly was a lovely woman as I had told her. A few weeks ago I would have been excited about dating her, but now I could only regard her as a friend. I drove home quickly and opened a bottle of wine. I was wound up and tense, and needed something to calm myself down with before Isabella came over. I checked my phone but she hadn't written me again, and I could only assume that she would show up as planned. I shrugged off my jacket and rolled up my sleeves while I tried to figure out what I would do when Isabella got here. I had another glass and then another, but the alcohol only made me angrier and more worked up.

What had happened to me that I would discard a woman like Kate for someone who was so clearly wrong for me? Isabella had happened. I felt as though she had bewitched me. She haunted my dreams and I woke up almost every morning painfully hard and longing for her. I thought about her constantly and stalked her Facebook profile relentlessly trying to learn all I could about her. She had secrets. That was for certain. There were things that she didn't tell me and it enraged me. I wanted to know everything about her. What had she done to me? Somehow I had been reduced to an obsessed quivering pile of need whenever I was in her presence. I was willing to risk my career and reputation for the chance to be inside her, and the thought aggravated me even further. This wasn't me. I wasn't acting like myself. She had put some sort of spell on me, I was sure of it!

I poured another glass of wine, put on a Sinatra CD and found the song "Witchcraft."

"Those fingers in my hair. That sly come-hither stare. That strips my conscience bare. It's witchcraft. And I've got no defense for it. The heat is too intense for it. What good would common sense for it do? 'Cause it's witchcraft, wicked witchcraft. And although I know it's strictly taboo. When you arouse the need in me .My heart says "Yes, indeed" in me. "Proceed with what you're leadin' me to.""

I sang along with the words and finished the bottle while I found myself doing an idiotic dance around the living room.

"Ah, Ol' Blue Eyes," I sighed. "Did you have an Isabella Swan of your very own? It sure sounds like it. What did you do about your witch?"

"It's such an ancient pitch. But one I wouldn't switch. 'Cause there's no nicer witch than you," Frank sang.

I rolled my eyes.

"Well, I guess I have my answer. But you see, Frank. Isabella isn't nice. She's naughty. She sends me dirty text messages when I'm out to dinner with another woman. She taunts me and haunts me," I slurred and went to look for another bottle of wine.

"This was supposed to be a simple thing," I told Frank, who was now singing "Mack the Knife". "It was supposed to be some good sex and nothing more."

"Actually," I laughed and opened the bottle. "The sex isn't just good. It's fucking spectacular!"

I clamped my hand over my mouth and looked around. Then I heard myself laughing again.

"You know what, Frank? Fuck it. I can say fuck. I'm a grown man. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

I poured a big glass and drained it.

"I love fucking Isabella! But I fucking hate her for doing this to me," I slurred and turned the CD back to "Witchcraft."

I did another moronic dance routine and stumbled back in the kitchen where I left the bottle, muttering to myself as I went.

"I love fucking Isabella. I fucking love Isabella."

The doorbell rang and I spun around.

_She's here!_

I ran to the door, nearly tripping over my shoes that I had thrown unceremoniously on the floor and ripped it open.

_Isabella!_

_Oh dear God! My head!_

I groaned loudly and opened my eyes slowly. Daylight was pouring in through my window and blinding pain shot through my head. I closed my eyes again and started to get out of bed. I desperately needed to pee and had to get up although my entire body protested. I staggered into the bathroom and relieved myself. I looked at myself in the mirror and winced when I saw how bloodshot my eyes were.

I was in need of something cold to drink because my throat was completely parched and walked towards the kitchen. I glanced briefly at the living room and stopped dead in my tracks.

_What the hell?_

I was looking at a disaster area! Knocked-over dining table chairs, scattered CD's and DVD's on the floor because a low shelf had fallen down and couch cushions all over the place. There were stains on the floor and a broken wine bottle next to them. My shirt and pants were there too.

_What in God's name happened last night?_

My dry throat was forgotten in an instant and I flopped down on the couch feeling both nauseated and disorientated at the same time. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to clear my head.

_You like it when I fuck you hard? Tell me, Isabella! Fucking tell me!_

_Oh no! No, no, no!_

Memories from last night flooded my brain and the room started spinning. I scrambled around for a few seconds before I ran to the bedroom. The bed was empty.

_She isn't here!_

Had I hurt her? Where was she? I closed my eyes and tried to remember everything that had happened. The details were a bit fuzzy.

I had run to the door and ripped it open. Isabella was outside, wearing a coat and her hair was in a high ponytail. Sinatra was blaring from the speakers and without thinking I grabbed her and pulled her inside before slamming the door behind me.

"Edward, what's going on?" she asked with her lopsided grin. "Are you …are you drunk?"

"You noticed that, huh? Want to know _why _I'm drunk, Isabella?" I asked and started unbuttoning her coat.

She nodded.

"I'm drunk because of you, you little witch," I slurred. "Because you drive me fucking crazy."

"I do?" she asked with a coy smile.

"Don't play games with me, little girl," I seethed. "You know perfectly well what you did when you sent me those messages!"

I opened her coat and gawked at her. She was only wearing her underwear beneath it; a black lace bra and matching panties. I was immediately hard. I pulled the coat off her and dropped it on the floor. She looked a little nervous and I liked it. No, I fucking loved it. For once I was the one calling the shots.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she said and looked up at me.

"I don't believe you. You did that on purpose to toy with me, didn't you?" I asked and pressed her against the wall. "You like it when I get hard for you, don't you?"

She nodded.

"Do you feel that?" I asked and pressed my erection against her stomach. "You succeeded. What are you going to do about it?"  
"Whatever you want," she said and raised her chin as if to challenge me.

I stared into her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes that held so many secrets I wanted to know. Her breathing had sped up and I could see that her nipples were hard underneath the lace of her bra. I wanted her like crazy.

"Whatever I want?" I murmured. "I want you to say that you're sorry and mean it."

"No," she said and her eyes flared.

I grabbed her breasts and pressed her against the wall. My lips were inches from hers.

"Say it," I demanded.

"No," she whimpered and arched her back, effectively pressing her breasts into my hands.

Her refusal both excited and angered me and I picked her up easily and wrapped her legs around my waist.

"Say you're sorry," I rasped into her ear and pressed my erection against her. "Say it and I'll fuck you."

She moaned and moved herself against my length. I held her up with one hand and used the other one to open my pants and pull them down along with my boxers. I gripped the flimsy fabric of her panties in my fist and looked at her again.

"You want me, don't you?" I asked.

She nodded and tried to rub herself against me.

"No, not until you say it," I scolded and tightened the grip on her panties.

"I can't," she said.

I finally tugged down hard and just like that I had a handful of lace, and my erection came in contact with naked wet skin. She whimpered and I groaned as I slid the head between her slick folds.

"Say it! Say you're sorry for toying with me, Isabella!" I said harshly. "You knew I was out with Kate and you did it anyway. Say you're sorry!"

"I can't!" She cried out.

"Why not?" I yelled.

"Because I'm not fucking sorry. I wanted you to think about me!" she shouted and pulled my mouth to hers.

We had never kissed like this before. It was desperate and frantic. We were practically devouring each other and I slammed into her without further ado.

"Fuck!" she cried out and held onto my shoulders while I pounded into her.

"You don't think I think about you?" I panted. "You're in my head constantly."

I kissed her passionately.

"I dream about you at night, about doing this with you, Isabella."

"Edward," she moaned and threw her head back.

"What have you done to me?" I gasped and thrust harder. "I hardly recognize myself."

"Oh, fuck!" she screamed. "Just like that!"

I pounded into her completely overtaken by lust and a need to almost punish her for making me want her so badly.

"You like it when I fuck you hard?"

She mewled and panted. I plunged my tongue into her mouth, tasting, licking and sucking.

"Tell me, Isabella! Fucking tell me!" I demanded and made her look at me.

"Yes, I like it!"

"Scream my name when you come," I gasped and lead her hand down between our joined bodies.

I captured her lips with mine but we were hardly able to kiss because both of us were breathing so hard. It only took a few more thrusts for Isabella to yell my name so loudly that it made my ears ring while she clenched around my erection. I was hurled over the edge a few seconds later and gripped her tightly when I came inside her. My orgasm was so powerful that my knees buckled and I almost dropped her on the floor. Both of us panted and heaved for air while she clung to me and sweat poured down my body. I don't know how long we stood like that but at some point she started squirming in my arms and I lowered her down to stand on her own. She started to walk out of the hallway and it sparked new anger in me. She was always the one who pulled away. Not tonight. My desire for her hadn't been sated and I wanted more. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back roughly.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked darkly. "I'm not done with you yet."

The rest of the night was a blur in my mind. As the alcohol I had consumed entered my bloodstream my memories became even more fuzzy and incoherent. I looked at the dining table. I had taken her there. And I vaguely remembered knocking over the low shelf when I had her against the wall. I had bent her over the couch as well and taken her from behind. The pillows on the floor had been for her knees when she had put her mouth on me.

_God, what did I do to her?_

I had behaved like a complete animal! I remembered screaming, moaning and grunting. I may have bitten her at some point. I couldn't remember how it had ended and how I made it to my bed. Had she slept in there with me or had I just stumbled to bed and left her in here? I felt sick to my stomach. I had never ever been violent before but last night had been anything but gentle. And she was so small. Was she hurt? I had been so rough with her. I shot up off the couch and searched for my phone. I dialed her number immediately, dreading that either Rosalie or Alice would pick up and tell me that Isabella was in the hospital. It rang once, twice and my heart jumped when it was answered.

"Hey you," she purred on the other end.

"Isabella," I gasped and took a deep ragged breath. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Why?"

_She's fine? How can she be fine?_

"I-I just woke up and the living room is…Are you hurt?"

"No," she said slowly. "What's going on, Edward?"

"You weren't here, and I was so…I can't remember everything from last night, but…Are you sure that you're alright?" I asked desperately.

"Edward, calm down," she said. "I'm perfectly alright. What happened? You were fine when I put you to bed."

"You put me to bed? I can't remember much after, um, after what happened in the hallway and even that's…a bit of blur," I confessed.

"Hmm, it's too bad that you can't remember because that was the best sex of my life," she said with a small laugh.

_It was? But how can that be?_

"But…I was so rough with you, Isabella. I practically _forced_ you!" my voice cracked.

"You did no such thing," she said calmly. "No offense, Edward. I know that you're really strong but you were so drunk and I'm pretty sure that I could have taken you if you had done something I didn't want."

"What? What do you mean you could have taken me?" I asked dumbly.

"Edward, I did kickboxing for a few years and I've taken more than ten self-defense classes. I can take care of myself. You didn't do anything last night that hurt me. You really don't remember all the orgasms you gave me?"

"No, not exactly," I admitted. "I mostly remember throwing you around like a ragdoll."

"You did do that," she said. "And I enjoyed every second of it."

"Really?"

"I swear. I had a great time. You kept asking me if I was ok, if I felt good. You may have been drunk off your ass but you never forgot about me while we were fucking."

"You really enjoyed yourself?" I asked and felt myself start to relax.

"I really did," she said. "In fact, I might need you to date more if that's what happens afterwards."

_Absolutely not!_

"No, no more dates," I said and breathed out.

"Really?" she asked.

"No, you were right. Seeing two people at the same time gets complicated."

"Oh, so you won't be dating anyone?" she asked.

"No, I'll just see you," I said before I could get nervous about talking about this.

"Ok," she said softly.

_God, I wish I could see her face right now! Is she happy about this?_

"Um, what are you doing anyway?" I asked.

"Nothing, I woke up a little while ago but I was too lazy to get out of bed," she said.

"Do you want company?" I blurted out.

I really wanted to see her and get visual confirmation that she was, in fact, fine.

"Sure," she said and it sounded like she was stretching. "Why don't I come by your place with some hangover food? I assume that you could use that?"

"Yes," I admitted sheepishly.

"Ok, let me jump in the shower and I'll be over in an hour or so?"

"That sounds good," I said and smiled widely.

"Great, I'll see you soon," she said and hung up.

"I can't wait to see you," I said, even though she couldn't hear me.

_I only want her. No other women._

My drunken ramblings to Frank Sinatra came back to me as I stood there still clutching the phone.

"And I think I might be in love with you," I whispered.

**Finally he gets it! :)**

**I hope no one will be angry with Edward for going out with Kate. I needed to put the "perfect" woman in front of him, for him to realize that he doesn't want that after all. **

**So, how much will Edward panic now that he's in love? Can he keep this from Isabella? Should he keep it from her? Is Frank Sinatra really the best person to talk to about love? Did y'all like Edward all rough and in control?**

**Leave me a review, please.**

**Oh, and the whole June 15****th**** thing is still in effect. Don't expect any new chapters but be pleasantly surprised if something pops up. :) **


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews (1K already!) I have the best readers!**

**Melanie is, as always, the peanut butter to my jelly and all round beta-rific goddess! **

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

_I can't be in love with Isabella! It's not rational. It doesn't make any sense!_

I threw the phone on the couch and paced back and forth in my living room. I knew that I should have been appalled by the mess everywhere but right now I couldn't seem to care. I had far more disturbing things to contemplate. I couldn't be in love with her. Our little arrangement wasn't about that. It was about sex and nothing more. We had both agreed upon this when we started seeing each other privately.

_It can't be love. It just can't!_

Truthfully, I didn't have any frame of reference on this particular topic. As far as I knew I had never been in love before. Sure, there had been adolescent crushes and I had always been fond of the women that I had dated, but I didn't think that there had ever been anything that qualified as love. I had no idea what it was like to be in love, and therefore I couldn't know if that was what I felt for Isabella. I certainly couldn't rely on my drunken ramblings as proof. I had to have some sort of answer before she came over. How could I find out?

Asking Emmett was out of the question. He had never harbored deep feelings for a woman, of that I was completely sure. Plus he would never believe that I was merely making an innocent inquiry and he would know that something was up. I needed to approach this logically.

_What would I do if this was an academic question I was posing?_

I knew the answer immediately. I would do research. I turned on my computer and threw some clothes on while it started up. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down in my office.

_Research. I'm good at that. I excel at research. I can figure this out._

But I couldn't use any of my usual search engines. Love in literature and poetry was too vague and there were far too many variables to consider. I needed facts. I saw no other choice but to Google 'Signs that you are in love' although I rarely used that engine because it was anything but academic. I groaned loudly and scrubbed my face with my hands when I saw the results.

_Seventeen million hits! I'll never be able to go through all of them._

I did find a little comfort in the fact that apparently I wasn't the only one who was wondering how one determined whether or not you were in love.

"Signs that you're in love…For dummies," I read out loud.

That seemed oddly appropriate since I was certainly a dummy when it came to this. I clicked on the website and started reading with my heart in my throat.

"Your stomach flips when you see the person."

_That was true. I did get strange flutters in my stomach when Isabella smiled at me or whenever I thought about her. _

"You're willing to go somewhere you hate."

_Check! I really hate her apartment but I'll go there to see her._

"You're willing to ditch the little black book."

Well, I didn't exactly have one of those but I knew that I didn't want to see any other women.

_God, that's three out of three so far! This is not good!_

"You fantasize about the person constantly."

_Double check! I fantasize _and _dream about her._

"You get stupid."

Yes, I did. Very stupid, in fact. For someone who was supposed to be intelligent I marveled at my own stupidity whenever she was around.

"Whenever your phone rings you hope it's him or her."

No, that wasn't true! Finally!

_But that's only because we text each other. I hope every text message I receive is from her. Damn it!_

I swallowed a couple of times and stared at the screen. There was no denying the evidence. All the answers pointed in the same direction:

I was a dummy and apparently in love.

_But…I don't want to be in love with her!_

Absolutely nothing good could come out of this revelation. Isabella was all wrong for me. We couldn't even see each other openly because she was still in my class.

_Plus, she doesn't want to date you. Did you forget about that?_

That was true. Isabella didn't date and she didn't want a boyfriend. She wanted casual sex and nothing more. But then why would she offer to come over and hang out with me today? Surely she wasn't expecting sex seeing as I was hung over. If she just wanted sex then she would have waited to see me until I was feeling better. I shook my head and regretted it instantly. The headache was back with renewed force and I slowly walked to the couch in the living room and lay down on it. I took a deep breath and exhaled. Maybe I was in love but I couldn't tell her that. She would run for the hills if I revealed that I wanted more than a sex-buddy out of her, and I couldn't risk that. The only thing I was absolutely certain of was the fact that I wanted to keep seeing her in whichever capacity I could.

Maybe the signs on the website were wrong? Wasn't it possible that I was just overcome with lust for her? I certainly did do my fair share of lusting after her so that seemed plausible enough. I closed my eyes and ran my hands through my hair. I didn't know anything anymore. If someone had told me a month ago that I would be sleeping with one of my students I would have laughed at the absurdity of the statement. But now I was in fact having sex with a student on a regular basis and it seemed that all logic and rationality had left me.

_What the hell am I going to do?_

I sat up again and started to clean up the broken glass from the wine bottle. I moved around the apartment as if on autopilot while I tidied up the mess that I had made last night. I went into the bathroom and washed up. I stared at myself in the mirror. Was I really in love with my student? The doorbell rang and my heart pounded wildly in my chest while my stomach fluttered like crazy.

_Isabella!_

I ran to the door, ignoring my headache and pulled it open. I scanned her with my eyes. She was wearing one of her ridiculous outfits and smudgy makeup, but for the first time it didn't bother me. I pulled her into my arms impulsively. She seemed unharmed but I had to be sure. I took a step back, running my hands over her arms, her back, her neck and finally cupping her face in my hands.

"You're ok, you're ok," I heard myself whisper before I my lips captured hers.

She let out a surprised sound but kissed me back tenderly after a second. My arms encircled her and the kiss quickly increased in its intensity. I heard her drop something on the floor as she fisted her hands in my shirt and pulled me closer. I felt myself becoming aroused and pulled back. It hit me with startling clarity that I had not intended the kiss to become sexual in nature. I had kissed her because I was so relieved that she was alright and safe. I had kissed her because I was happy to see her. I had kissed her because I was in love with her.

_I'm in love with Isabella!_

This was a nightmare. I was in love with the beautiful, unattainable girl in front of me and if I told her she would leave instantly. She wanted none of my love. I groaned loudly and dropped my head on her shoulder.

"Poor thing," she said softly and rubbed my back soothingly. "Do you feel sick?"

_Yes, love sick, apparently._

I nodded and felt her usher me into the living room where she placed me on the couch.

"Don't worry," she said. "I've brought a few things to make you feel better."

I heard her walk back into the hallway and take off her coat and shoes before returning to my side. I opened my eyes and looked at her.

"Your eyes are all red," she said with a concerned look on her face.

"Yeah, I don't feel good," I said and leaned back on the couch.

"Drink this," she said and handed me a large cup with a straw.

I knew better than to question anything that Isabella offered me and took a large drink of the pink concoction.

"God, that's good," I said and drank more. "What is it?"

She smiled brightly.

"It's a fruit smoothie. Banana, raspberries, some vanilla soy shit and a little ginseng."

"Thank you," I said and smiled back.

"You're welcome. Most people eat a bunch of greasy stuff when they're hung over but that'll just give you an assquake, basically."

I threw my head back and laughed even though it hurt my head.

_Assquake. You're so funny. I love you. _

"Ow," I moaned and held my head after my laughter died down.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "Sit back and relax."

I did as she told me and watched while she put on a movie and pulled a sandwich out of the bag that she had dropped in the hallway earlier. She handed it to me and I smiled when I saw that it was just like the one I had the first night we slept together.

"You made this for me?" I asked, even though it was evident that she had.

"Yeah, I feel a little guilty about those texts I sent you if they're what caused you to drink so much," she said.

"That's ok," I said honestly. "I'm the one who should be apologizing."

"Why?" she asked with a frown.

"I never meant to be so, um, rough with you. I hope I didn't scare you?" I asked and looked at her anxiously.

"Not at all," she said. "I liked it."

"Really?" I asked and took a bite.

_Mother of God, this woman can make a sandwich!_

"Yeah. I mean, don't misunderstand me or anything. I'm not that much into whips and chains, but it was really hot that you took control."

"Whips and chains?" I asked, feeling a little shocked and a tiny bit turned on for some reason.

"I've dabbled a bit," she said with a shrug.

"Um, dabbled with what exactly?" I asked.

"Bondage. You know, getting tied up. Playing with a few toys. No whips, though. That's a bit too freaky for me," she said with her lopsided grin.

_Bondage!_

I almost choked on my sandwich and coughed loudly. Isabella patted my back and I took a drink of the smoothie.

"You like that?" I choked out and stared at her.

"Sure," she said with a smile.

_Oh dear God, no! I'll never be able to keep her satisfied! _

"But I don't expect to do anything like that with you," she said, as if she had read my mind.

_Thank Heaven! But…why exactly?_

"You don't?" I asked, and I was more than a little shocked to hear that my voice was laced with just a hint of disappointment.

"We can if you'd like," she said. "I think it would be pretty damn hot to be at your mercy."

_Isabella tied to the bed, completely in my control! That does sound appealing!_

_God, I am such a pervert! What happened to me?_

"Edward, are you still with me?" she laughed and waved her hand in front of my face.

I realized that I had zoned out for a little while.

"Sorry," I said and tried to rid my mind of images of everything I could do to her when she was tied up.

"So is that something you'd like to try?" she asked curiously.

_Will she think I'm a degenerate if I say yes? _

"I-I, um, I," I stammered like an idiot.

"Can I take that as a yes?" she asked.

I breathed out and gave her a small nod while I blushed like a schoolboy who got caught looking at a nudie magazine. Or me, getting caught doing that, if I was perfectly honest.

"Cool," she said with a smile. "I can't wait."

"Um, Isabella. Are you sure you would be ok doing that with me?" I asked nervously.

"Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"What if I unintentionally hurt you somehow?"

"Edward," she said softly. "You could never hurt me."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked.

I still couldn't fully understand how she could trust me so blindly. I could have severely injured her last night when I had tossed her across hard surfaces and had my way with her. I outweighed her by at least sixty pounds and she was just so small compared to me.

"Are you kidding me?" she said with a smile. "You are the most considerate lover I've ever had. You seem more focused on my pleasure than your own most of the time."

_She just called me her lover! That's definitely a step up from sex-buddy. _

I felt a huge rush of warmth in my chest. I was Isabella's lover. Her only lover. Edward Cullen, the studious geek who couldn't get a date to his prom was now the lover of this beautiful young woman.

_How I am today, you ask? I'm great. Why? Because I am Isabella Swan's lover. I get to see her naked and everything. Oh, and did I mention that she wants me to tie her up and have sex with her? That's right. Because I am a very considerate lover. And I give her orgasms. _

"Edward!" she laughed and waved her hands in front of my face again.

"Sorry, I'm with you now, I swear," I said and took another bite of my sandwich.

"And this is delicious," I added.

"Thank you. Where did you go just now?"

"Nowhere, I'm just in my head today," I said and offered her a smile. "I'm not used to drinking a lot."

"I figured as much," she said. "So you don't remember everything from last night?"  
"I'm a little fuzzy on the details after what happened in the hallway," I admitted.

"Up against the wall over there," she said and pointed to where the broken shelf was. "From behind bent over the back of the couch, and me on my back with my legs in the air on your dining table."

"Oh, and a blowjob," she added with a grin.

"Oh my God," I moaned and covered my face with my hands. "I don't know what came over me."

"I do," she said next to me. "I pissed you off. Don't feel bad. I really like that your punishment consists of giving me multiple orgasms."

_Multiple orgasms? Hell yes!_

I peeked at her through my fingers and saw that she was smiling sweetly.

"You're so cute," she said and leaned over to kiss me lightly.

Her lips were soft and warm, and the kiss itself was gentle and slow. She pulled away and fished out a smoothie and a sandwich for herself.

"Let's just take it easy today, ok?" she asked.

I nodded and she turned on the TV. We sat back and ate our sandwiches while we watched the movie that she had picked out. It felt so comfortable and I found myself completely relaxed in her company. She had been so sweet to me and apparently she didn't come over here for sex. That was definitely a first and I hoped that maybe that meant that I was more to her than just a guy she slept with.

There was no denying it. I was in love with Isabella. I looked at her hand resting on her thigh and suddenly I wanted to take it and lace our fingers. Slowly I lifted my own hand all the while sneaking glances at her face. She was watching the movie completely unaware of my hand hovering a few inches above her own. My pulse was thundering in my ears and I realized how absurd this whole situation was. I had had rough sex with her repeatedly last night but I was terrified to hold her hand. Holding hands definitely went outside the sex-buddy category and was something that you would do with your girlfriend.

_Don't do it. She'll panic!_

But I wanted to touch her affectionately and we had already shared a sweet gentle kiss earlier. I took a deep breath and placed my hand on top of hers. I felt her flinch a little next to me and swallowed audibly before I looked up at her. Her eyes were wide and it looked as though her breathing had sped up.

"Is…is this ok?" I whispered and rubbed her hand with my thumb.

Her eyes flickered from mine down to our hands a few times before she nodded slowly.

_Thank you, God! _

I breathed out with relief and gave her hand a small squeeze before turning my attention back to the movie. I could feel her eyes on me and noticed that she was still completely rigid. I tried to get my breathing under control and stroked the back of her hand with my thumb again. After a few excruciating minutes I felt her relax next to me and I smiled a little. We watched the rest of the movie like that with my hand resting on top of hers. I didn't have the courage to turn her hand and lace our fingers but this was definitely a step in the right direction.

The movie ended but I was reluctant to move from my spot because that meant taking my hand off hers.

"Can I use your bathroom?" she asked and looked at me.

I nodded and kept myself from whimpering pathetically when her hand slid out from under mine and she left the couch. She seemed to be gone a long time and I wondered what she might be thinking. Today was definitely different than the other times we had been together, and I wasn't sure what would happen when she reemerged.

_I hope she doesn't want to leave already._

It was Saturday and I didn't have any plans today. I wished that she would stay here with me all day. Actually, I found myself wishing that we could go outside together. It was a nice spring day and I would love to take a walk with her. Of course, I couldn't very well do that. She was still my student for a few more weeks and if anyone saw us together it would be catastrophic. She came back out and hesitated at the door to the living room.

_Please come and sit with me again!_

"Maybe I should get going," she said, but it sounded a little like a question.

"Oh, do you have plans?" I asked.

"No."

_Ask her to stay! _

"I don't either. Um, have plans, I mean," I said, hoping that she would take the hint.

"Ok," she said and looked at me.

_God, why is this so difficult? _

_Because you're in love with her, moron!_

"You…can stay, um, if you'd like?" I managed to ask her.

"Ok," she said again.

_Yes! She's staying!_

"What would you like to do?" I asked.

"We could play a game?" she suggested.

"Not a bondage game, right?" I blurted out, much to my horror.

_What is wrong with my mouth? I think I need to see a doctor or something._

She laughed softly and shook her head.

"No, Edward. Not a bondage game. I don't think you're up for that today. How's your head, by the way?"

"A little better," I told her. "Still hurts though."

"Let me give you a massage," she said with a sweet smile.

"A massage? You know how to do that?"

"Sure. So do you have any massage oil or lotion?"

"I have lotion," I answered and turned my head so she wouldn't see me blush.

_Please don't ask me what I use it for! _

"Great. Go get it and lie down on your bed," she said and walked into the bedroom.

_Oh no, this is so embarrassing! The lotion is already on my nightstand next to a box of tissues. It doesn't take genius to figure that one out!_

I went into the bedroom where she was already situated on the bed and motioned for me to take off my shirt. I did as she told me and flopped down on the bed.

"Um, the lotion is over there," I mumbled and pointed at the nightstand all the while hiding my face in my pillow.

I heard her chuckle softly and move on the bed.

"Sorry," I heard myself mutter although I had no idea why I would apologize for masturbating.

"Don't be sorry," she said and straddled my hips. "I do it all the time."

"W-what?" I asked and raised my head.

Did Isabella really just tell me that she masturbated as well?

"It's perfectly natural. Almost everyone does it," she said in a light tone and started covering my back with the lotion.

That was probably true although I had never met anyone besides Emmett who admitted to it, and definitely never a woman.

"I don't do it a lot," I lied for some reason.

Ever since I started seeing Isabella privately my carnal desires had multiplied many times over and now I was Kerou-whacking like a teenage boy almost every night before bed when I hadn't been with her.

"Do you think about me when you do it?" she asked and started kneading the muscles in my shoulders.

I nodded. She was the only one I thought about during my nightly solitary activities. Well, I was there too most of the time, doing things to her that would make me blush to say out loud.

"I think about you too," she said and pressed down on a sore muscle which made me groan.

_Oh wow! She thinks about me when she touches herself! I definitely need to remember that for my next, err…session. God, I am such a pervert!_

I didn't ask her to elaborate on her thoughts because that would undoubtedly create visions in my head, which would then lead to a very distinctive set of twitches that probably wouldn't go unnoticed by her when I stood up. I wanted to assure myself that today wasn't about sex for her and that she genuinely just liked spending time with me. I wanted that so much more than sex and the realization shocked me a little. I wanted Isabella's company more than her body. Obviously I wanted her body as well, but given the choice today I would pick her company.

_I really am in love._

I sighed and buried my face in my pillow as she worked out all the kinks and tension in my neck and shoulders. By the time she was done I was half-asleep and completely pain-free. She lay down next to me and I felt her caress my hair.

"Thank you," I mumbled sleepily.

"You're welcome," she said softly and continued to stroke my hair.

"Why are you so nice to me?" I asked drowsily before I could think about what I was asking.

There was a long pause and I had almost fallen asleep when she finally spoke.

"I…just like you, is all," she said quietly and it sounded like she was apologizing.

"I like you too," I sighed.

_No, I love you. I like you, but I also love you._

I felt her shuffle a little closer to me and acting on impulse I turned on my side and pulled her into my arms. She stiffened for a few seconds before she relaxed against me. I caressed her hair as she had done for me and all too soon I started to drift off to sleep.

When I woke up she was still in my arms and it made me smile and pull her a little closer. She made a small sound and I opened my eyes to look at her.

_She's awake!_

She was staring back at me and I wondered how long she had been watching me sleep.

"Sorry, I seem to pass out a lot around you," I said with a half-smile, referring to the first night when she had put her mouth on me.

But then I had slept alone and this time she had been in my embrace. Things were different between us now. It couldn't be my imagination. She let out a small laugh and stroked my hair again.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked.

I nodded and smiled. I hadn't felt this good…ever. Right now I didn't care that she was too young and too wild, that her clothes and makeup clashed with my idea of what looked pretty on a girl or the fact that the rest of the world would judge us cruelly if they knew what we were doing. Spending a quiet day with her had been so wonderful and I wished that she would never leave. I moved my face a few inches closer to hers and gauged her reaction. She didn't pull back and I pressed my lips against hers. I kissed her bottom lip, and then the top while my hand cupped her face carefully. She responded to the kiss and our lips moved easily together as if we had been doing this for years rather than weeks. I was the one who pulled away again before it became too heated and she let me.

_She really doesn't want sex today! I must be the only man in the world who is happy about that fact!_

She smiled and let out a small laugh when my stomach growled loudly.

"You did have quite a workout last night," she said and gave me a wink. "No wonder you're hungry."

"Is it dinnertime?" I asked her, because I had no idea how much time had passed since I fell asleep.

"Are you hungry?" she asked and raised an eyebrow.

I nodded.

"Then it is dinnertime," she said with a smile.

She was absolutely right. I shouldn't care whether or not it was six-thirty yet. If I was hungry then I should eat.

"What would you like?" I asked her.

Her eyebrows flew up in surprise and I remembered that she hadn't actually told me how long she was staying.

"If you want to stay, that is," I added and tried not to sound too eager.

"I'd like to stay, but I'm buying us dinner," she said firmly.

"Ok," I said immediately, because I had a feeling that this was non-negotiable.

"Great, can I borrow your computer?" she asked.

_Oh right, she orders online. I should do that as well. I'm always losing the menus._

"Sure, it's in my office. There's no password or anything."

She gave me a quick kiss and jumped out of bed with the grace of a ballerina, and I gazed at her as she sauntered out of the bedroom. I sat up and put my shirt back on before stretching. The massage that she had given me had worked wonders for my muscles and I hoped that she might want to do it again sometime.

_I should learn how to do that for her. Maybe there's a book that I could read._

I walked into the living room and started to clear away the cups and sandwich wrappers when I suddenly heard an angry yell.

"Edward, what the fuck is this?" Isabella shouted.

I didn't have time to respond before she came out of my office and thrust some pieces of paper in my hands. Her eyes flared with rage and I actually took a step back because she looked like she was ready to hit me. I glanced at the papers and saw that it was Isabella's final paper for my class. I had been grading them yesterday before my date and had forgotten all about them.

"C!" she yelled. "You gave me a motherfucking C!"

"Um, it's a C+," I said, as if that would somehow appease her.

"How could you do that to me? This paper is fifty percent of my grade!" she exclaimed and shook her head.

"I-I."

"Just spit it the fuck out already, Edward!" she screamed. "I worked my ass off on that paper and you didn't know how to grade it without thinking about us sleeping together!"

"W-what are you saying?" I asked.

"You deliberately gave me a lower grade because you were worried that someone would suspect something if you gave me the A I deserve!"

_I wouldn't do that! Not consciously, anyway. Did I do that? I can't think when she's mad at me!_

No, that's not….," I started.

"I can't believe this!" she exclaimed. "How could I have been so stupid?"

She walked to the hallway quickly and started to yank her shoes on angrily.

"Isabella, I, please," I said desperately.

"I should have known that this would blow up in my face," she said agitatedly and straightened herself.

"Don't go, please!" I begged her. "Let me explain."  
"Explain what, exactly?" she asked and glared angrily at me. "That you lowered my perfect GPA because I was stupid enough to sleep with you? This was a motherfucking mistake!"

I watched in horror as she yanked the door open and took a step outside.

_Oh no! No, no, no!_

"Please, don't say that! Don't be angry!"

She turned around to face me and hope sparked in my chest. Maybe she would stay after all and let me explain.

"You don't have to worry," she said icily. "I won't tell anyone."

"Isabella, that's not," I started.

"I won't say a word," she interrupted. "Unlike you I know how to keep shit separate. But this thing…"

She motioned from her to me and back again.

"This is fucking over! Goodbye Professor Cullen!"

_NO! She can't go!_

I grabbed her wrist lightly and tried to hold her back and somehow I ended up on the floor on my back.

"Don't you _ever_ fucking touch me again, asshole," she said in an eerily calm voice from above that made me shiver.

I scrambled to my feet only to see her hurrying away down the street and jumping into an expensive-looking vintage car which apparently belonged to her. She drove off and I stood there in my door completely baffled and utterly terrified that the best thing that had ever happened to me in my somewhat long life had just called me an asshole and left me forever.

"FUCK!"

**And the shit hath hitteth the fan! **

**Oh boy, he really messed up, didn't he? And they were finally making progress.**

**How can Edward make it up to her? I think we are in need of some serious groveling in the next chapter, no? Any ideas what he could do to try and win her back? Is the 'Dummies' website really a credible place to find evidence of love?**

**Don't forget the Twilighted Forum for both this story and the Professor. The girls are lonely over there and I do post teasers. :)**

**Blah, blah, June 15****th**** (You know the drill by now.)**

**Until next time, go fic yourselves. (Sorry, I just heard that expression today and I couldn't resist, you know I love you all. Especially if you review!)**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**See, this is why I love you guys. I got so many different reactions after the last chapter. Some of you were mad at Edward for low-balling Isabella's paper and other's thought that she was a huge drama queen who overreacted. **

**Anyway, thank you for all your comments and reviews. :)**

**Once again, Melanie made this chapter so much better with her add-ons. She's like the cherry on the vanilla sundae that is my writing (if that makes any sense?) Thank you, my lovely!**

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

"Oh no, fuck, no" I moaned to myself and closed the door.

I couldn't believe what had just happened. I was about to spend another wonderful night with Isabella and now she had left furious with me. I looked at her paper which was still in my hand. Had I really given her a lower grade than she deserved? I honestly didn't know. I had gone through it yesterday but I had been very preoccupied by the thought of going out with Kate. At this point I could hardly remember what she had written about. It was certainly true that Isabella didn't usually warrant C grades and she was the most intelligent of all the students in the class. As much as I hated to admit it she always said something smart and insightful every time she interrupted my teaching.

_I think she might be right. Which would make me not only a bad teacher but also as she put it, an asshole. I need to fix this!_

All weekend I tried to get a hold of her but she was obviously ignoring my texts and phone calls. I checked her Facebook profile but there were no new status updates. I contemplated going by her apartment to see if she was home but decided against it. I needed to know what to say when I saw her again. I suspected that she had been right in accusing me of giving her a lower grade but I still wasn't completely sure. I tried reading her paper again but I couldn't focus on it. I truly lacked the ability to view it neutrally and it made my stomach ache that I had lost so much control over my life. I had always been so level-headed and rational and just a few weeks of sleeping with Isabella had turned my world upside down. But it wasn't sex that had done it. It was love. I was in love with her and now she hated me.

The weekend was pure agony. I chastised myself for ever having slept with her. I should have driven away that first night after having dropped her off at her apartment. Then I wouldn't be in this mess and I would probably be going out with Kate again.

_And then the two of us could have lived safely and boringly ever after._

No, I didn't want that life anymore. I couldn't settle for someone like Kate, no matter how appropriate she might be, and that wouldn't be fair to her either. I didn't want predictable and safe. I wanted passion and laughter and love. I wanted Isabella.

_I have to get her back!_

I wondered briefly if there was a risk that she might go back on her word and report me to the university but I dismissed the thought the second it came to me. No matter how angry Isabella was I could never imagine her doing anything that vengeful to me.

Monday morning I hurried into work and went straight to my colleague Ben's office. With me I had Isabella's paper plus two more from random students to make my true mission as inconspicuous as possible. Ben looked me up and down and frowned a bit but agreed to read them over as I had suspected that he would. It wasn't the first time that we had helped each other out like this and he promised to get the papers back to me the next day.

I tried calling Isabella again in the afternoon and later that night but she wasn't picking up. Finally I drove to her apartment hoping against hope that she would let me in and talk to me. I missed her and was worried about her. My heart plummeted when there was no answer and I realized that she wasn't home. I slept poorly that night most likely due to the fact that I would see Isabella in class the following day. I was scared that she would yell at me again and petrified that she would ignore me and not speak to me at all. It was a strange predicament and I genuinely didn't know which would be worse: Her wrath or her dismissal.

The next day I was sitting in my office chewing my fingernails off and almost contemplating taking up smoking just to have something to do with my hands. It was either that or knitting at this point and I had a strong suspicion that needlework would create many incorrect assumptions about a thirty-two year old bachelor who showed love for poetry and wine as well.

"Edward?" Ben said and brought me out of my thoughts when he came in.

I motioned for him to sit down and resisted the urge to shove my fingers back in my mouth.

"Well, I looked at the papers and I think you were right in your initial assessments of them," he said.

_Really?_

I couldn't decide if this was good or bad news. It certainly justified my actions but it didn't get me any closer to getting Isabella back. Of course, now I could tell her that I had gotten a second opinion and surely that would convince her that I hadn't deliberately given her a lower grade.

"Except this one," Ben continued and pulled a paper out of his briefcase.

_Oh God. I don't need to hear the rest. I AM an asshole._

He handed it to me and I wasn't the least bit surprised to see Isabella's paper in my hand.

"You liked it?" I asked and held it up.

Ben nodded and smiled.

"I thought it was excellent. Some very new and interesting ideas. I think this is a great start to a thesis, actually."

He paused for a second or two.

"I hope you don't mind my asking, but why did you only award it with a C+?"

_Because I'm an idiot!_

"I don't know," I said vaguely. "I had a feeling I was off on that one. Thank you for looking at them."

"No problem," he said. "Um, Edward. Are you doing ok?"

_No._

"Sure," I lied and gave him a watery smile.

"Ok," he said and gave me a concerned look. "If you need any help with your work load just let me know, alright?"

I nodded.

"Thank you, Ben. Um, so which grade would you say that the paper deserves?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Well, if one of my students had handed it in I would have given it an A," he said with a shrug.

_That's what I thought he would say. God, I really messed up!_

"Ok. I should be getting to class," I said and followed him out.

I walked to the classroom feeling like the biggest jerk in all of creation. I trusted Ben's opinion on Isabella's paper completely. After all, he wasn't personally involved and I knew how dedicated he was to his job. As it turned out, Isabella had been right except for one thing. I hadn't done it consciously, but it was obvious that I hadn't been able to keep our relationship, or whatever it was, separate from my being her teacher. I knew that I had no choice but to change her grade to the A that Ben would have awarded her, but I very much doubted that it would be enough to get back in her good graces. I would have to work to earn her trust back.

I decided to talk to her discretely after class, but was sorely disappointed because she never showed up. I knew that she had stayed away because of me, and the thought that I would never see her again made my insides hurt.

When I got home I tried calling her again and spent the next few hours pacing back and forth with my phone clutched in my hand. Finally, I knew that I had to do something. I turned to my computer and found the address of her two friends, who as it turned out shared an apartment. I drove over there, intent on at least giving them a message for Isabella since she wouldn't talk to me herself. I braced myself and knocked on the door. Rosalie opened and her eyes flared when she recognized me.

_Uh oh._

"You!" she exclaimed. "What the hell do you want?"

"I, um, I can't get hold of Isabella," I said.

"No shit, Sherlock," she sneered. "Why do you think that is?"

_I assume that's a rhetorical question._

"I know I messed up," I said weakly.

"Yes. You did," she said icily.

"Can you maybe give her a message for me?" I asked.

"No," she replied flatly. "Now get the hell out of here."

"Please," I said. "I really need to talk to Isabella."

"Why do you keep calling her that?" she asked in an irritated tone. "Bella hates it when people use her full name."

"Not when I do it," I said defensively, all the while wondering if that was actually true. She had never said anything, though.

"Whatever," she said. "Just go."

She started to close the door but suddenly looked at me again.

"Oh, and tell that idiot brother of yours to stop emailing me shirtless photos of himself."

_Oh God, Emmett. Have you no shame?_

I didn't tell her that she was probably lucky that he hadn't sent her pantless pictures as well; since I was sure he wouldn't be opposed to that level of depravity. She slammed the door and I heard her talking to someone. I was about to leave when the door opened again. It was Alice.

"Hey," she said, in a slightly friendlier tone than the one that Rosalie had used.

"Hello," I said and shuffled my feet awkwardly.

"Bella isn't here," she said after looking me up and down.

"I know."

"She'll be back later," Alice said. "She's been staying here the last few days."

"Oh," I said lamely.

I was actually glad to hear that she hadn't been alone.

"She won't return my calls," I said.

"She's angry with you. Why did you do that to her?" she asked.

"I…I made a mistake."

"I'll say," Alice said and I could hear the anger in her voice. "She worked so hard on that paper. We barely saw her while she was writing it. I think she wanted to impress you."

_Fuck. No wonder she hates me now._

I groaned and ran my hands through my hair.

"She was so furious with me," I said.

"Yeah, she was really upset when she came by afterwards," Alice said. "You hurt her feelings."  
"I know," I mumbled and suddenly my chest felt like it was too small.

"I don't think I've ever seen her cry before," Alice said so quietly that I almost didn't hear her.

_I made her cry? Oh no!_

I couldn't imagine Isabella crying. She always seemed so composed and in control of herself. Except when she was screaming at me and calling me an asshole, of course.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, even though I knew that Alice wasn't the person who I needed to apologize to.

"You really care about her, don't you?" she asked and cocked an eyebrow at me.

I nodded. I couldn't reveal too much. If Isabella ever found out just how much I cared it would ruin any prospects of getting a second chance to win her over.

"I want to apologize but she won't see me, and it doesn't seem like the sort of thing I should be doing on her voicemail," I said sadly.

Alice nodded and looked pensive.

"Listen, we're going to a club on Friday night," she said. "Maybe you should make an appearance."

"Isabella would never believe that I just happened to show up," I said immediately.

"You could bring your brother maybe?" she suggested after a few seconds of silence. "Bella said that he owns that sports bar we went to, and that he goes out a lot."

_That's certainly true._

"Why are you helping me?" I blurted out.

Alice gave me a stern look.

"I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for Bella," she said and crossed her arms.

"Oh," I said, not knowing how to respond to that.

"Look, Edward. Can I call you Edward?"

I nodded.

"Bella has been having a hard time lately, but she always smiled a little more when you were around. I'd like to see her smile again," she said.

_You and me both._

"So just come by the club on Friday and maybe she'll talk to you," she continued.

"But, won't I see her in class on Friday afternoon?" I asked dumbly.

Alice shook her head.

"I wouldn't hold your breath," she said.

"Oh," I said, yet again. "I guess I'll go to the club then. What's it called?"

"Midnight Sun," Alice said with a smirk.

"Ok," I said, feeling a little perplexed at her reaction. "Um, I was going to drop this off in her mailbox but maybe you could give it to her?"

I handed her a large envelope and she hesitated for a second before she took it.

"It's her paper. I gave her the A that she deserves," I explained.

I turned to leave when Alice called my name again. I looked at her and saw that she was smiling widely.

"Dress nicely on Friday, ok?" she said with a wink, which reminded me of Isabella.

I nodded and gave her a wave goodbye.

_Dress nicely? I need help with that, and not the kind my mother gives._

I sighed heavily because I knew what I had to do now. I didn't know anyone with more experience when it came to women than my brother and desperate times did indeed call for desperate measures. I knew that getting him involved would probably be a giant mistake but I needed his assistance now and I was willing to endure his ridicule if it meant getting a chance to win Isabella back.

The next afternoon I sent him a text and asked if I could come by the bar later and he answered back almost immediately telling me that he was already there. I rolled my eyes and glanced that my watch. It was not even close to happy hour yet, but since I was miserable I decided that it didn't matter.

"Holy shit, Bro. What happened to you?" Emmett asked when I walked into the bar half an hour later.

His eyes swept over me and he frowned.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked wearily and flopped down across from him.

"Uh, yeah. You look like hell," he said.

I realized that he was absolutely right. My clothes were wrinkled and I hadn't shaved since Saturday morning. I didn't think I had ever looked this unkempt in my life. I scrubbed my face with my hands and discovered that I wasn't even wearing my glasses. It hadn't made any difference at the university since I hadn't actually done any work to speak of.

"Do you want a drink?" he asked uncertainly.

I nodded and he went to the bar throwing another worried glance at me before he left. I tried to decide how to ask him for his help. I couldn't just come out and tell him about the depth of my feelings for Isabella. It was much better if he believed that it was just a casual sex thing that I had managed to ruin. Emmett came back and handed me a glass with some amber-colored liquid. I took a sip and coughed.

"That's awful," I choked out.

Emmett chuckled a little across from me.

"It's bourbon. I thought you could use something a little stronger than a beer."

I pushed the glass away and sighed heavily.

"So…are you going to tell me what's going on?" he asked.

I raised my head to look at him.

_My life would be so much easier if I was like Emmett. Carefree and happy all the time. _

"I'm in love," I blurted out.

_Oh no. I should have known that would happen!_

Emmett's eyes widened before he broke into a huge grin.

"Well, congratulations bro!" he boomed.

_He's happy about this?_

"I guess you and the teacher really hit it off then?" he asked.

_Oh. Of course he would think that._

"No, it's, um…it's not Kate," I said quietly and looked down.

"Not Kate?" I heard him ask.

There was a long pause and I closed my eyes and waited for him to put the pieces together.

"No fucking way!" he exclaimed, and I knew that my secret was out.

I looked up and he leaned forward.

"Your student?" he whispered conspiratorially. "The hot, annoying one?"

I nodded miserably and took another sip of the awful drink.

"You're in love with…what was her name? Ms. Swan?"

"Isabella," I whispered.

"Isabella," he mused. "Well, what's the problem?"

I gave him an incredulous look.

"Well, apart from her being your student, of course," he added with a grin.

I shook my head and looked down again. I was no where near done with revelations yet.

"Look, Edward," I heard him say. "This doesn't have to be a bad thing. She's only your student for a few more weeks and then you can just ask her out, right?"

"No, she won't go out with me," I said and looked up again.

"Why not? I'd say she's into you based on everything you've told me and what I've seen myself."

"Emmett, I…I…"

_Just tell him already!_

"I…I've slept with her," I finally whispered.

"No way! Really? When?" he asked eagerly.

"Um, the past few weeks," I admitted.

"More than once?" he asked completely wide-eyed.

I nodded.

"Bro!" he exclaimed with unmasked pride. "I didn't know you had it in you."

"Yeah, neither did I," I mumbled.

Emmett's eyes were burning with excitement and curiosity.

"How did this happen?" he asked.

"I, uh, I drove her home from your bar and one thing lead to another," I said vaguely.

I didn't want to share any intimate details with him. Those I wanted to keep just between me and her.

"So are you two like a thing?" he asked.

I shook my head and sighed.

"I blew it."

"That's what she said," he said, almost automatically it seemed.

I glared at him, finding nothing funny in his statement.

"Sorry," he said and held up his hands. "What happened?"

"I don't know," I moaned. "It wasn't supposed to be this way. I wasn't supposed to like her at all. I don't know how this happened!"

"Well, you can't really control who you fall in love with," he said, sounding wise all of a sudden. "But I actually meant how did you blow it?"

"I, um, I gave her a lower grade than she deserved on her final paper," I admitted, feeling like the lowest of the low.

"You're kidding me? Why did you do that?" he asked and shook his head.

"I don't know. I can't figure this out! I can't think anymore, Emmett. It's like I've lost my mind!"

"Yeah, it's called sex haze," he said matter-of-factly.

"Sex haze?"

"Edward, are you sure that you're in love with her? Maybe it's just because you're finally getting p-"

"No!" I interrupted, not wanting to hear his crude assessment of my feelings for Isabella.

"It's more than that," I insisted. "I like being with her and not just when we're, um, you know."

"Getting your fuck on," he supplied with a huge grin.

I made a face but nodded just the same.

"So this is the real deal, huh?" he asked.

"I think so. I mean, I've never felt like this before and I…I miss her," I said miserably.

"Does she feel the same way about you?"

"No. That is…I'm not sure, really. She seems to like the fact that we're "sex buddies,"" I told him and made air-quotes with my fingers.

"Wow," he said, completely awestruck. "She's like the perfect women. Young, pretty and into casual sex."

I scoffed.

"Maybe that's perfect for you, but I want more than that. I think there might have been more for her as well."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Um, let me ask you this, ok? Say you've spent the night with a girl who was drunk right?"

"I'll try my best to imagine that," he laughed.

"Ok, so I take it that you've done that?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

Emmett nodded and grinned.

"Drunken sex is insane! All inhibitions are gone," he said.

_They certainly are. I trashed my living room! Me, for heaven's sake. _

"Would you go over to her place the next day with hangover food and watch movies, give her a massage and take a nap together?"

"No," he answered immediately.

He raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, did she do that for you? Wait dude-_ you_ were drunk?"

"Yeah, she brought over smoothies and sandwiches and we spent the day together. It was really nice," I said with a sigh.

_No, not just nice. Possibly the most wonderful day I can remember. I am completely in over my head. _

Emmett nodded.

"Um, but then she saw her paper on my desk and she got really angry with me."

"What did you give it?" he asked.

"C+," I said and rolled my eyes at my own stupidity.

The more times I said it out loud, the more I realized just how ludicrous it had been of me to think that someone as bright and studious as Isabella would ever produce an average paper.

"Ouch!" Emmett said. "That was pretty cold if she didn't deserve it."

"She didn't. Ben looked it over and he thinks it's worthy of an A. I tend to agree with him."

"So just change the grade and everything will alright, won't it?" he asked.

"I don't think so. She was so angry with me, Emmett. You didn't see her face. She even…she even called me an asshole and did some self-defense move when I tried to stop her from leaving which flipped me over on my back."

"Wow!" he said excitedly. "Chicks who can fight are really hot!"

He glanced at my face and looked at least a little remorseful.

"Sorry. So what are you going to do to get her back?"

"That's the thing. Her friend Alice said that the three of them are going to a club on Friday and I should sort of show up, I guess. That way we'll be in the same room at least and she might hear me out."

"Ok, that's seems like a good plan," he nodded.

"Yeah, only…Isabella knows that I don't go out. Could you come with me? She knows that you go out to clubs all the time and it would seem less conspicuous that way."

"Are you kidding me?" he said excitedly. "A night out with my bro _and_ another chance to see Rosalie? Count me in!"¨

"Great," I said with a sigh of relief. "The club is called Midnight Sun, do you know it?"

Emmett's mouth popped open and he stared at me wide-eyed.

"Midnight Sun?" he asked slowly. "Are you sure that's the one they're going to?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Um, that's a gay club, dude."

_What? Alice, you little sneak!_

"A gay club? Really?"

Emmett nodded and grinned a little.

"But…that doesn't make any sense. Why would they go there? Unless, maybe one of her friends is gay?" I asked unsurely.

"Oh my God!" Emmett exclaimed. "I bet it's Rosalie. That's the only explanation why she hasn't returned any of my emails."

I rolled my eyes at him. Only Emmett could be this delusional to actually believe that sexual preference would be the only reason why a woman wouldn't be interested in him.

"She doesn't really seem gay," I said. "I mean, they did put on that show for all the guys at your bar. Unless they're all bisexual, maybe?"

"Is Ms. Swan?" he asked curiously.

"No, I don't think so. Although…"

"Although what?" he asked eagerly. "Did she tell you something that she's done? Maybe with another girl?"

"Could you at least try to hide your enthusiasm?" I asked dryly.

_He's practically drooling._

"Sorry bro. That's just really hot, you know. Two beautiful girls together and all."

"I guess," I said.

I didn't like to think of Isabella with anyone other than me regardless of gender.

"No, I don't think she has those inclinations but she has experimented with other stuff."

Emmett's started to open his mouth to speak and I could just imagine all the possible scenarios running through his brain.

"And before you ask. No, I will not tell you anything."

_Especially not the part about her wanting me to tie her up. I am a gentleman after all. Well, except when I'm drinking, apparently._

Emmett pouted and grumbled to himself, obviously disappointed that I wasn't going to divulge.

"Maybe there's another reason why they're going to a gay club?" I asked Emmett.

"Maybe," he said. "We need assistance. Jasper has gay friends. Hang on a second."

I watched as he went into the back and came out, dragging Jasper along. He owned half the bar with Emmett and he was a really nice guy.

"Hey Edward," he said and pulled up a chair. "What's going on? Emmett said something about your girlfriend possibly being a lesbian?"

I gave my brother a glare and he just laughed like an idiot and sat down as well.

"No, she's not a lesbian," I said firmly. "But, um, she is going to a gay club on Friday. Midnight Sun?"

Jasper smiled and nodded.

"That club is mostly for gay men, so I really don't think you have anything to worry about," he said.

"Ok, but then why would she go there?" I asked with a frown.

Jasper chuckled and shook his head.

"Probably to avoid getting hit on all night," he said. "It's like a thing, you know? Beautiful women go to gay clubs all the time when they just want to dance and have a good time without being propositioned by horny drunk guys."

_Thank God! That means that she's not looking for someone else, at least!_

"Really?" Emmett asked.

Jasper nodded and smiled.

"Um, Jasper. I hope you don't mind me asking," I said hesitantly. "But how do you know so much about this? Are you…uh?"

"I'm not gay," he said casually. "I'm…versatile. It's all about the person for me. It transcends gender."

Emmett stared at his friend completely bug-eyed. This was obviously news to him.

"You're not into me, are you?" he blurted out.

Jasper threw his head back and roared with laughter.

"No!" he gasped and wiped his eyes. "No, I'm not into you, Em."

"Well, it's not that funny, is it?" Emmett said with a pout and crossed his arms.

"No, I'm sorry, buddy," Jasper said and gave him a pat on the back. "You're a very attractive man but you're really not my type."

"I tend to go for guys more like Edward actually," he added and smiled at me.

_Oh no. Not happening, Jasper!_

"I…I…um, thank you, I guess?" I said doubtfully, glancing around the room for the nearest exit.

"You're welcome, but you don't have to worry," he said with a grin. "I'm not into straight guys."

I nodded and let out a nervous laugh. Emmett explained that I was trying to win Isabella back and Jasper nodded sympathetically.

"So you guys are going to Midnight Sun on Friday? Mind if I tag along?" he asked.

"No, of course not," I said immediately.

"Excellent," he said. "We should go shopping tomorrow."

"Shopping?"

"Yeah, you need some new threads if you're going to impress the girl. Plus they probably won't let you in looking like you're just there to hit on women. We need to gay you up."

I paled and Emmett laughed hysterically. I wanted to punch him.

"That goes for you too, big guy," Jasper said and slapped Emmett on his back.

"What?" he choked out.

_This should be fun. I love karma. _

"But there's nothing wrong with my clothes!" my brother insisted.

"True," Jasper agreed. "Maybe just a little manscaping for you."

_Manscaping? Should I know what that means?_

I must have looked utterly confused as opposed to Emmett's horrified expression.

"It's when you trim and wax the hair on your body," Jasper explained.

"B-but I won't be taking my clothes off," Emmett stuttered.

"You might have to," Jasper quipped.

Emmett turned whiter than a sheet and gave me a desperate look.

"I'm just joking!" Jasper laughed. "Although we really should do something about that unibrow of yours."

Emmett touched his eyebrows and frowned.

"Really? Ok, I guess."

"Yay, spa-day and shopping!" Jasper exclaimed and clapped his hands in a way that seriously made me doubt his previous statement about not being gay.

"Are you up for that, Edward?" he asked me.

"Sure," I said with a sigh. "If you think it will help me get her back."

Emmett seemed to have recovered and reached over to pat me on my back.

"Don't worry, bro. We'll make you look great. She won't be able to resist you."

I nodded and smiled. It felt good to have their support and now I had a plan at least. Although I would never have imagined that it would include a trip to a spa and a new gay-friendly wardrobe. Not in a million years.

_My life certainly isn't boring anymore._

...

"I don't know, Emmett," I said and looked at myself in the mirror. "Does this really look good?"

It was Friday night and we were at my apartment about to go to the club.

"I think you look awesome," he said and studied me carefully.

I looked in the mirror again and tried to view myself objectively. I was wearing some ridiculously expensive shoes, which Jasper insisted was key when going to a gay club, dark denim jeans, a tight white t-shirt and a black blazer. My hair was messy, which I knew that Isabella liked and the facial that Jasper had forced me to get at the spa actually made my skin look really good and had removed the few stress lines I had around my eyes. I looked young. Well, a lot closer to my own age than before at least.

"Should I roll up my sleeves?" I asked.

"No!" Jasper and Emmett shouted in unison and looked horrified at the suggestion.

"Not unless you're going as Don Johnson," Jasper added with a laugh.

_Right. "Miami Vice." Finally a reference I get._

"So I'm ready?" I asked and turned to them.

"Almost," Jasper said. "Now for the pièce de résistance."

He spritzed some cologne on me that he had made me buy earlier that day and took a step back, as if admiring a work of art.

"And voila!" he said and threw up his hands in a dramatic gesture. "Instant hottie."

"Dude, are you sure you're not gay?" Emmett asked and narrowed his eyes. "It's totally cool if you are, of course."

"What's with the labels?" Jasper asked with a shrug. "I like people, not gender."

"Thank you, guys," I said and turned to look at myself again.

"No problem," Emmett said. "You look great and now let's go get your girl back."

I gave myself one final glance and turned with a smile.

_Here goes nothing!_

**So Edward got himself a little makeover. Will it work? Will he get Isabella back or will he just get propositioned by gay guys all night?**

**By the way, 'Midnight Sun' is really the name of a gay club in San Francisco so I didn't make that part up. :)**

**Both "The Blizzard" and "The Education of Professor Cullen" are up for several Shimmer Awards so please vote if you like my stories. :)**

**http:/shimmerawards(dot)webs(dot)com/**

**Thank you for all your support and patience while I'm doing my exams. They're over soon, I swear. :) **


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Hey everyone, it's boys' night out!**

**Thank you for all your reviews and PMs, and a special thanks to my lovely friend Melanie who betaed this in just a few hours. It's because of her and her whip-cracking ways that you guys get the new chapter today. :) **

**Enjoy this long chapter and please read my AN at the bottom even if I go on and on forever. ;)**

EPOV

"Are you nervous or something, bro?"

I briefly glanced at Emmett before loosening my grip on the steering wheel slightly and turned my attention back to the road, but I didn't answer his question. The truth was that I was terrified. I was about to impersonate a gay man to gain access to a club so that I could ambush the girl I was in love with and beg her for forgiveness. With me I had my brother who was just about the straightest man in the world and his friend who was, in his own words "versatile", whatever the heck that meant. I would never have pegged him for being gay but that was apparently a label and Jasper wasn't comfortable with those. How we would ever get into that club was beyond me.

Even more frightening was the thought of seeing Isabella again. I hoped that Alice had given her the re-graded paper that had gotten me into this mess to begin with, and that she might be slightly less inclined to yell at me when she saw that I had rewarded her with the A that her paper deserved. But she hadn't contacted me and I could only assume that our arrangement was over in her mind. I hoped that I might make her rethink that decision before the night was over. The real problem was that I had no clue how to do that.

"I don't know what to do when I see her," I finally admitted without taking my eyes off the traffic.

"You just need to be totally casual and aloof," Emmett said. "Let her come to you. Chicks hate it when guys ignore them. If it were any other club I would tell you to start flirting with another girl right in front of her. That shit works every time!"

That didn't make any sense whatsoever.

"But Isabella will probably know that I'm there to see her. It's a gay bar after all," I said.

"Oh, no problemo," Emmett said. "Just tell her that we're there for Jasper's sake because he's the gayest gay man alive."

"But I'm not," Jasper piped up from the backseat.

"Come on, man. Can't you just act like that super gay guy from that show where the hot skinny chick is living with the gay lawyer?" Emmett asked.

"You want me to act like Jack from 'Will & Grace?" Jasper asked incredulously. "That's such a stereotype!"

"I would never ask you to do that," I said quickly.

"Do it for Edward," my brother coaxed. "He was finally getting laid and he was a lot less uptight."

I hated to admit it, but I had felt a lot more relaxed in the brief period when Isabella and I had been sleeping together.

"Fine," Jasper sighed. "I'm doing it for you, Edward."  
"Thank you," I said. "I really appreciate all your help."

"That's ok. I'm a sucker for romance," he grinned. "By the way: you should disregard Emmett's advice."

"What's wrong with it?" my brother asked.

"Um, everything," Jasper said. "He can't just show up and ignore her. He should be attentive and compliment her."

"No way!" Emmett half-yelled. "Then she has all the power."  
_She already does anyway. _

"She already has the power," Jasper said as if he had read my thoughts. "He can't act like an asshole when she's still mad at him. He's trying to win her back, remember?"

"Yeah, but even so. He can't act like a complete pussy in front of her. Women like confidant men," Emmett argued.

"Well, that is true, I suppose," Jasper admitted.

My head was spinning. Now I was even more nervous. I wasn't sure about Emmett's approach, and ignoring Isabella really didn't seem like a good idea. But would she really prefer it if I was more confidant? It wasn't exactly a quality that I possessed and it hadn't seemed to bother her one bit that I was so inexperienced. But she had also told me that she had liked it when I had been in control the night I had gotten drunk and had my way with her repeatedly. In fact, I remembered her saying that it was the best sex she had ever had.

_Like I could ever forget her saying that!_

But now I was torn between throwing myself at her feet and begging her for forgiveness and playing it cool when I saw her.

_God, this is so complicated. _

"So what should I do?" I asked, desperately hoping that the two of them could agree on what the best approach would be.

"You love her, right?" Jasper asked. "This isn't just a sex thing?"  
"Officially it's just sex, but…yes, I'm in love with her."  
"What do you mean 'officially'?"

"It started out as a casual thing, but lately it's been more for me. A lot more," I said.

"But she doesn't know that?"

"No. At least I don't think so," I said quietly.

"Huh," Jasper said pensively. "So you're going to try and convince her to start fucking again when really you're in love with her and want a relationship. You're in over your head, my friend."

"Don't I know it," I said with a sigh.

"Oh, but the plot thickens," Emmett grinned. "She's his student and they can only see each other on the DL or Edward will get fired."

_DL?_

"What's DL?" I asked dumbly.

"On the Down Low," Jasper explained. "When you're sleeping with someone secretly. It's actually really common in the gay community because some are scared to come out to their families and shit. It's pretty messed up if you ask me."

"Oh," I said, hoping that Jasper wouldn't think any less of me now that he knew that Isabella was my student.

"She is single, right?" he asked pointedly.

"Um, yeah. She's not married or anything like that," I said.

"That's good," he said. "A lot of men on the DL have wives and kids at home. That just pisses me off."

I nodded in agreement, but I couldn't get Isabella's relationship status on the Fa…I mean Facebook, out of my mind. I briefly considered asking my two knowledgeable companions what that might mean, but decided against it since that would reveal that I secretly looked at her profile page. And I did that a lot.

_And now I'm following her to a club. I think I'm officially a stalker! What's next, I wonder? Night vision goggles?_

"Um, so how should I approach her tonight?" I asked, seeing how we really hadn't resolved anything.

"Maybe it's better if you just act like yourself. I mean, she did sleep with you before when you were all…awkward," Jasper said, and I deduced that Emmett had probably filled him in on my general idiocy when it came to women.

My brother groaned in obvious disagreement.

"I still think that casual is the best way to go. You look great tonight and I bet she'll be all over you the second she sees you. Play hard to get."

"But I'm easy," I said immediately.

Both of them laughed.

"Say that loudly at the club and you'll definitely get in," Jasper chuckled. "They'll put out the welcome mat."

I rolled my eyes when I realized what I had actually said.

"Ha-ha. I just don't think I can pretend like that," I admitted. "And I still don't see how it would help me if she thinks that I don't want her. I'm sorry Em, but that just doesn't make any sense to me."

"I know what I'm talking about," he insisted. "Who gets laid more; me or you?"

"You do," I grumbled.

"Yeah, but when was the last time you had a girlfriend?" Jasper asked Emmett, obviously knowing that my brother had never been in a relationship. "Edward isn't just out to get laid. He's on a mission of love and I think it's terribly romantic. He's fighting to win back the woman he loves."

I stared at Jasper in the rearview mirror and saw that he was smiling dreamily.

"Dude, you need a girlfriend," Emmett said to Jasper. "Or boyfriend. How the hell do you decide anyway?"

"I told you," Jasper said. "It's about the person. If I meet someone interesting and attractive I don't care whether it's a guy or a girl."

Emmett didn't say anything and just seconds later Jasper pointed out a parking lot. We walked towards the club and my nerves were already getting the best of me.

_Isabella is inside and this is probably my one chance to get her back. I can't screw this up. It's my one chance for love!_

I stopped abruptly outside the entrance when I was overwhelmed by waves of nausea.

"Oh God," I groaned and bent forward with my hands on my knees. "I don't know if I can do this."

The guys stopped next to me and I felt one of them pat my back.

"Problem?" A deep husky voice asked.

I looked up and saw the bouncer staring intently at me. He was huge!

_Shit! He's going to see that I'm not gay and beat me senseless! _

"He just came out," Jasper squealed excitedly. "It's his first time at a club."

He clapped his hands and did a pretty convincing impression of a very, very gay man.

"Ooh, a virgin!" the bouncer exclaimed and practically jumped up and down which looked pretty strange considering that he was even bigger and bulkier than my brother.

I had no choice but to nod and give the guy a watery smile.

"We'll be gentle with you, honey," he said with a wink. "Come on in."

And just like that we were past the first hurdle.

Jasper led us inside and my eyes darted around the room to the women who were there. Apparently so did Emmett's.

"Look at all the hotties!" he boomed loudly just as a song ended.

_Oh no! We're busted!_

All the guys near us who heard my brother hooted and toasted us. It seemed that they thought he was talking about them and not the many beautiful women who seemed to be everywhere. I didn't care about any of them though. I only wanted to find Isabella and talk to her.

"Emmett, for the love of all that's holy, will you please control yourself," Jasper hissed.

"Sorry," he mumbled, although it didn't stop him from ogling the women at the bar.

"Look, if you do get caught staring – and you probably will," Jasper said pointedly. "Just tell them that you think their outfit is fabulous or something like that, ok?"

Emmett nodded and continued his gawking. I was ready to bury myself. There was no way this was going to work. We made it to the bar without incident although I did see more than a few men looking appreciatively at me. I suddenly felt very exposed and uncomfortable.

_Is this how women feel at regular clubs? Like pieces of meat?_

"What can I get for you, sugar?" the bartender asked me while he blatantly looked me up and down.

_Oh God, what should I order? A beer? No, that's too heterosexual, isn't it? Some kind of drink? I don't know any drinks, really. Wine, maybe? Dammit! I should have done research before I came here. I'm sure that helpful Dummies website has an article on drinks. _

The bartender was still smiling while I was unraveling on the inside.

"I…I don't drink a lot. What tastes good?" I finally managed to ask.

He licked his lips suggestively and I cringed internally. I didn't have anything against gay people at all but I could almost imagine what he was thinking due to my asinine query.

"I'll hook you up, sweet thing," he said and started pouring different liquors into a blender.

After a lot of mixing and adding things he handed me a glass with lots of paper umbrellas and pieces of fruit. I went for my wallet but he waved his hand dismissively.

"It's on me," he said.

"Oh…I, um, thank you?" I said unsurely.

"No problem," he said before leaning over the bar. "I get off at 2 and I could be getting you off half an hour later."

_He…He wants to…Oh dear God! I have to get out of here!_

My face felt like it was on fire and I almost dropped my drink. He winked and turned to Jasper and Emmett who placed their orders. My mind was in a daze.

"Dude, this is so unfair!" Emmett whined next to me.

"Huh?" I asked.

I heard Jasper snicker and was finally able to focus on my surroundings again. I was still gripping my untouched drink, completely frozen on the spot. I looked at the bar and noticed several drinks lined up that I didn't order.

"Where did they come from?" I said and stared at the glasses in front of me.

"You have quite a few admirers," Jasper said with a grin and motioned around the bar area.

I looked up and saw several men raise their glasses to me.

"They…bought all those for me?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Yup. If things don't work out with Isabella you should seriously think about playing the field. The guys sure have taken a shine to you, my friend."

I didn't know how to respond. I had no interest in anyone other than Isabella – male or female. Emmett was pouting and sulking next to Jasper.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked eager to turn the attention away from me and my apparent appeal to the gay gentlemen.

"I didn't get any drinks," he muttered.

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"Well, I thought I looked pretty good tonight," he said sullenly.

"You're not gay!" I reminded him in a hushed tone.

"I know. But I don't want them to think that I'm not hot," he defended himself. "I even got my eyebrows waxed for fuck's sake! You don't know the pain I've suffered."

"Maybe you're just a little jealous that your brother is the one getting all the attention for a change," Jasper teased.

"No!" Emmett said emphatically, and I realized that Jasper had hit the nail on the head.

_Emmett is jealous…of me!_

The whole thing was so surreal, and mixed with all my nervousness it came out sounding completely hysterical in my mind. I started laughing uncontrollably and Jasper joined in quickly. Emmett huffed and this only made me laugh harder. I turned my head to wipe my eyes and my laugh was suddenly stuck in my throat.

_She's here!_

Isabella was standing on the edge of the dance floor staring at me. Her eyes scanned me and her mouth opened as if she was about to say something. Alice and Rosalie were dancing behind her but stopped when they noticed that she wasn't moving to the music. Alice asked her something and I saw Isabella answer without taking her eyes off me. Before I had a chance to react she turned abruptly and ran off. I was about to race after her when I saw Alice motion for me to stay put. Both she and Rosalie walked over to me talking to each other on the way.

"Did she leave?" I asked the second they were within earshot and I heard how panicked my voice sounded.

"No, she just went to the bathroom," Alice assured me.

I relaxed a little but didn't take my eyes off the spot where Isabella had been standing only seconds earlier.

"Wow. Thirsty, Edward?" Alice asked with a grin and pointed to the drinks on the bar.

"I didn't buy those," I said. "Help yourself."

"Then who did?" Rosalie asked, and I was surprised that she was even talking to me.

"Some guys," I said vaguely. "I don't want them. I'm driving."

The girls grabbed a drink each and Emmett had apparently noticed my company. He was at my side immediately.

"H-Hi Rosalie," he stuttered. "Wow, you look really pretty tonight, like totally beautiful. Can I get you a drink?"

_So much for casual and aloof, huh Emmett?_

She held up the drink that I had offered her but I saw a small smile on her face.

"Thank you," she said. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I'm just here for my brother," he said and gave me a pat on my shoulder.

Rosalie's smile widened a little.

"That's very decent of you," she said, and Emmett grinned like an idiot.

I realized that I hadn't introduced Jasper and turned to him but he was completely entranced by something. I turned back and saw that Alice was staring at him, just as absorbed as he was. None of them said anything. They were just looking intently at each other as if they were having a silent conversation with their eyes.

_Odd._

I looked back to the dance floor and my heart skipped a beat when I saw that Isabella was standing there. She was staring at me again with an unreadable expression on her face. She seemed to hesitate as if she was considering whether or not she should approach me and the rest of the group. I realized that playing hard to get would definitely not work for me. I was hers to take if she would have me. I took a step towards her to see if she was going to bolt but she held her ground and her stare turned into a leer. As I slowly approached her I noticed the lyrics of the song that was playing.

"You were the sweetest thing that I ever knew. But I don't care for sugar, honey, if I can't have you. Since you've abandoned me .My whole life has crashed. Won't you pick the pieces up. 'Cause it feels just like I'm walking on broken glass."

I wasn't exactly walking on broken glass but I had the distinct feeling that the next few steps would be some of the most important in my life. I had to somehow convince her that I wasn't the asshole that she thought I was. I was a confused lovesick mess who had no experience in this area but if she would give me another chance I would do whatever I could to make her smile and laugh every day.

I ignored the comments from a few men I passed on the way and focused solely on her. My eyes finally left hers for a second and now I noticed how incredible she looked tonight. Her hair was completely straight and pulled back in a high ponytail. It looked silky and smooth and I wanted to run my fingers through it. Her eye makeup was the same smudgy stuff as always but it didn't bother me anymore. She was wearing a red sleeveless top and the tightest pants that I had ever seen. They were black, shiny and reminded me of those that Olivia Newton-John wore in "Grease".

_God, I'm looking at a beautiful woman and I'm thinking about a musical! Maybe I am gay?_

But the way my body reacted to Isabella's sexy outfit quickly convinced me otherwise. I wanted her desperately. I had missed her so much and all I wanted to do was grab her, kiss her and never let go of her again. Her scowl made it pretty clear that this was not an option, though. She was still angry with me and I needed to fix this immediately.

"Isabella," I breathed out when I stopped in front of her.

_I love you and I've missed you like crazy!_

"What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed. "You do realize that this is a gay bar, right? The last time I checked you liked tits."

Of their own accord my eyes darted down to her chest to admire her breasts in the fitted top. When I looked back up she was smirking a little.

"Isabella, I…"  
"Did you follow me here?" she asked and narrowed her eyes.

"No, I…I mean, we came here because of Jasper. He's really gay. Like super gay," I babbled nervously.

Isabella glanced behind me and her smirk grew.

"So is that the guy who has his tongue shoved down Alice's throat right now?" she asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.

_What?_

I whipped my head around and sure enough Jasper was in a lip-lock with Alice.

_Damn you, Jasper! We bring you to a gay bar and you decide that you like women tonight!_

"I-I…don't know what to say," I admitted. "I'm really sorry, Isabella."

"For what, exactly?" she asked and crossed her arms over her chest.

"For giving you the C and for lying to you just now. I knew that you were coming here tonight. I'm so sorry. I had to see you to apologize and you weren't taking my calls."

"Apology accepted," she said. "Now we can both get on with our lives. No hard feelings, Edward."

"But,"

She walked past me without a second glance and left me on the edge of the dance floor feeling like my heart had just been ripped out of my chest. I turned and watched as she said something to her friends and the three of them walked towards the exit. Alice caught my eye and mouthed the word 'sorry' before they stepped outside.

_Was that it? Will I never see her again?_

I stumbled over to Jasper and Emmett, and opened my mouth only to realize that I had no idea what I was about to say.

"They just went outside for a smoke," Emmett said and gave my shoulder a squeeze. "She'll be back."

"But…she doesn't want me anymore," I half-whispered.

"Of course she does," Jasper said, trying to reassure me. "I saw the way she was looking at you."

"No," I moaned. "She accepted my apology and said that now we could get on with our lives."

"I'm sure she didn't mean it," Emmett said, but he didn't sound very certain.

"Why don't you go outside and talk to her?" Jasper suggested. "You can bring her jacket for her."

He held it out to me and gave me a smile.

"Nothing ventured, right?"

"Ok," I said and took a deep breath.

Armed with Isabella's jacket I went outside and saw the girls walk around the corner. I followed them and was about to make my presence known when Alice's voice rang out:

"Come on, Bella. Give the guy another chance!" she said.

"Why should I?"

"Because he came to a gay club just to talk to you," Rosalie said. "The guy may have acted like an idiot but something like this takes balls."  
"Yeah," Alice supplied. "And he even got new clothes and everything. You can't tell me you don't think he looks good tonight."  
There was a pause. I knew that I shouldn't be eavesdropping but I couldn't bring myself to walk around the corner just yet. Isabella was like a closed book and I so wanted to know her better.

"He always looks good," Isabella said quietly. "But it doesn't matter. It's over."

_Oh God, no!_

"Why?" Alice asked. "He apologized and he gave you an A."

"You don't understand," Isabella said. "I only want an A if Edward thinks that I deserve it. He's the best teacher I've ever had and I respect his opinion, you know? I worked so hard on that paper and I thought it was great."

"It is great," Rosalie interrupted. "I read it, remember?"

"Yeah, but Edward didn't think so and it just made me question my abilities. I can't let a guy have that kind of power over me."

"But he did change the grade," Alice said.

"That doesn't really matter. I mean, if he only did it because I had a bitch fit and called him a jackass or whatever it was, then I don't want the new grade."

"I think you should let him explain," Rosalie said, and I was truly surprised to hear that she was on my side.

"No, it's better this way." Isabella said. "A clean break before someone gets hurt."

"I think someone is already hurt," Alice said quietly. "Did you see the look on Edward's face when we walked outside?"

There was another pause and I wondered if I had really looked as devastated as I felt after Isabella had walked away from me.

"He likes you, Bella," Alice said softly.

"I know," she said quietly.

"And you like him, right? I mean, even with the whole grade debacle."

"Of course. I mean, what's not to like? He's hot and sweet at the same time. He's a great cook, a fantastic lay and he pulled my goddamn chair out for me like we were in a black and white movie. He should have a girlfriend and not a fuck-buddy!" Isabella half-yelled. "He should be with that woman he went on a date with."

_I don't want her. I want you!_

"But I thought you said he didn't want to see her again?" Rosalie asked.

"No, he said that he didn't want to see two people at the same time," Isabella corrected and I almost kicked myself when I realized that she was right. "Now he can see her exclusively and I can get back to my regular routine."

"I don't think he would have gone to a gay bar if it didn't matter to him which of the two of you he is seeing," Alice ventured. "He likes you a lot, Bella."  
_Please don't say too much! She'll run in the opposite direction if she knows the truth. _

I couldn't wait any longer and risk that Alice mentioned the word 'love'.

"Isabella?" I called out as if I just walked outside.

I turned the corner and all three girls stared at me.

"I, uh, I brought your jacket. It's a little cold," I said and handed it to her.

"Yeah, we should get back to the guys," Alice said and practically pulled Rosalie with her around the corner, leaving me alone with Isabella.

"So, um…How have you been?" I asked awkwardly and buried my hands in my pockets to prevent them from running through my hair repeatedly.

"Pretty fucking bad," she said candidly and took a drag of her cigarette.

"I'm sorry," I said. "Listen, Isabella. About the grade,"  
"It doesn't matter," she said quickly. "Just forget about it."

"It does matter," I insisted. "I was so wrong. I don't know what I was thinking when I gave you that C, but you were absolutely right. I _was _an asshole and I couldn't separate things."

"Edward," she said.

"And you deserve the A I gave the paper. I had another teacher grade it and he loved it. He even said that it was a great start to a thesis and that you had some exciting new ideas. Your paper is excellent and I'm just a moron. I just wanted you to know that."  
"I think I already knew," she said.

"What? That you're a great student or that I'm a moron?" I asked.

"Both," she said and I saw a hint of a smile on her lips.

I let out a nervous laugh and finally couldn't stop my hands from raking through my hair.

"Do you want to go back inside?" I asked when she stubbed out her cigarette on the ground.

"I think I'm heading home," she said. "I wasn't really in a party mood to begin with and I only went because Rose and Alice dragged me here."  
"Let me give you a ride," I offered immediately, more than a little eager to be alone in my car with Isabella.

I still hadn't convinced her to start our arrangement again and I wanted to talk to her without all the noise in the club.

"I can just walk," she said.

"No fucking way!" I growled out of nowhere.

Isabella's eyes widened and she gaped at me.

"Wow, listen to the mouth on you," she teased with a grin.

"I learned from the best," I said with a grin. "Um, you know I mean you, right?"

She laughed loudly and I determined that it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.

"I almost forgot how funny you are," she chuckled.

"So can I take you home?" I asked after she was done laughing.

"You don't want to stay?" she asked.

"No, I just came to see you," I admitted. "And I really don't like the attention in there."

"Fair enough," she said. "I should tell the girls that I'm leaving."  
I followed her back inside and couldn't stop myself from smiling so much that it almost hurt my cheeks. I had made Isabella laugh and she had agreed to let me give her a ride. It was more than I had dared to hope for.

Alice and Jasper looked like they were eating each other's face and Rosalie and Emmett were standing next to them looking very uncomfortable especially because a few of the gay gentlemen close by were making gagging noises and mumbling something about breeders. It didn't seem to bother Isabella.

"I'm leaving in a minute," she announced and grabbed one of my drinks.

"Yours?" she asked and held it up.

"I guess so," I admitted. "Some guy bought it for me."

She smirked and took a large sip.

"Alice," she said and tugged on her friend's sleeve.

"Don't bother," Rosalie said and rolled her eyes. "I already tried that. Are you guys going?"

She looked curiously between me and Isabella and judging from the conversation I had overheard outside I couldn't blame her for being surprised.

"Edward is giving me a ride," Isabella said. "Are you guys going as well?"

Surprisingly, Rosalie turned and looked at my brother.

"Are you leaving?"

"Hell, no. I like it here!" he exclaimed and pointed to the bar. "And look. I got drinks!"

I couldn't help but laugh and Rosalie smiled at him.

"I guess we're staying," she told Isabella who nodded.

"You'll get her home safely, right?" Isabella asked Emmett with a hint of warning in her voice. "And make sure your friend does the same for Alice."

"Of course!" he said immediately, and actually looked intimidated by the tiny girl in front of him. "I swear, Isabella!"

"Bella," she corrected him and smiled.

_Why hasn't she told me to call her Bella if that's what she prefers?_

"Are you ready to go?" she asked and turned to me.

I nodded. Emmett gave me a thumbs up followed by some very crude pelvis movements that made Rosalie cackle in delight and hit his arm in a playful manner.

_Those two seem to be getting along famously. Who would have thought that?_

I walked behind Isabella and tried my best not to look at her backside which looked incredibly appealing in the skintight pants. I had an almost overwhelming urge to grab her hips and grind against her as I watched her move towards the exit. As we passed a table I heard some men complain about me leaving. Isabella stopped and smiled at them.

"Relax boys," she said. "Better that he leaves with his hag than some other guy, right? We'll be back another night."

_Hag? That doesn't sound very complimentary!_

I tried not to look too shocked but I didn't think I did a very good job. The men seemed relieved but were apparently still disappointed.

"I know, I know," Isabella sighed. "He is quite the piece of man candy. I can't tell you how many times I've shown him my boobs hoping for a little action. Sadly, he just likes men."

_Why is she saying that?_

"Edward, honey," she purred and started to pull my t-shirt up. "Why don't you give the boys a little peek as a consolation prize since I'm stealing you away and all?"

She smiled sweetly at me but I could see the evil gleam in her eye.

_She's doing this to punish me! _

I let her pull up my shirt to reveal my stomach for a few seconds but when one of the men reached out to touch me I had had enough. I grabbed Isabella by her wrist and stormed out of there. I could feel the anger building up in me as I dragged her across the deserted parking lot to where my car was parked.

"What the hell were you doing back there?" I demanded harshly when we reached it.

"Relax. I was just playing," she said.

"This is not a game!" I seethed. "You can't just do something like that."

"Yes I can," she said defiantly and raised her chin. "I can do whatever the fuck I want."

She poked me in the chest with her index finger and sneered at me.

"And you can't tell me what to do," she said with a final poke.

"God, why do you have to be such a…"

I was very close to calling her a derogatory term that rhymed with the word 'witch' but managed to control myself at the last second. Her eyes flared and she obviously knew what I had wanted to say before the gentlemanly side of me stopped the word from coming out.

"What did you expect?" she asked. "Why did you even come here tonight? We're over, Edward!"

"No we're not –don't say that!"

"Why not? It's the truth after all. We were just sex and now we're done. You can get yourself a girlfriend and live happily ever after. Isn't that what you want?"

"No!" I said immediately. "I want you!"

I took two steps forward and it made her sit down on the hood of my car. I stepped in between her parted legs and pushed her back on her elbows.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I _want_ you," I repeated and placed my palms on the hood while I bent over her.

I had no idea where this bravery was coming from. I had only had a few sips of the drink that the bartender gave me so it definitely wasn't alcohol induced like last time. I was angry with her for trying to reduce whatever we had to just being about sex. She had told her friends just minutes earlier that she liked me and now it seemed that she was trying to push me away.

_Not going to happen!_

I made her lay all the way back and stared into her beautiful eyes. I could see that she was breathing faster and her skin had broken out in goose bumps. I traced lightly from her neck down between her breasts with my index finger all the while looking into her eyes. She didn't protest so I leaned all the way down, stopping when my lips were an inch from hers. I felt her hands come up to my shoulders and for a second I feared that she would push me away. But then she fisted her hands in my blazer and pulled me down thus mashing our lips together in a heated aggressive kiss. She whimpered into my mouth when my tongue massaged hers roughly and I pressed my erection against her. She pushed a little on my shoulders but I wouldn't let her stop this. I knew that she felt it too. I grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head while the kiss grew even more heated and wild. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I bucked into her over and over again.

"I missed you," I moaned before kissing down her jaw and neck. "God, I missed you so much, Isabella!"

She didn't say anything but I knew that she wanted this as much as I did. She moved her hips with mine and whimpered again when I sucked on the soft skin on the side of her neck.

"Edward," she whispered and I finally lifted my head to look at her.

"Please say that you've forgiven me," I panted. "Please, Isabella."

"I forgive you," she said softly.  
_Thank you, God!_

I kissed her again but this time it was slower, softer and I released her hands which she tangled in my hair. I wrapped one arm underneath her and held the back of her head with my other hand so she would lie more comfortably, and held I her tightly while our kiss continued. I felt as though I was in heaven. She was perfect in my arms despite the fact that we were on the hood of my car in the middle of a parking lot. I never wanted this feeling to end.

_I love her!_

Through my love- and lust-filled haze I heard voices close by and reluctantly pulled my mouth away from hers.

"Someone's coming," I whispered.

"If we had had a few more minutes it might have been us," she grinned and rubbed herself against my erection.

I dropped my head and chuckled against her skin before helping her off the hood of the car. We drove in silence just listening to the radio and I wished that some of my bravery from the parking lot had lingered with me so I could have reached over to hold her hand. I pulled up at her apartment unsure of what I should say or do. Would she invite me upstairs? Would she kiss me goodnight and send me on my way? Would she simply thank me for the ride and leave without a second glance in my direction. She unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned over to give me a quick kiss.

"Thank you for taking me home," she whispered and went to open the door.

_I can't let her go like this!_

"Isabella," I said and held her hand gently.

"I'm tired," she sighed and looked back at me. "I'm sorry. I can't invite you up but I need some rest. I haven't been sleeping well."

I could see that she was telling the truth. When I looked closely I could see the dark circles under her eyes although she had attempted to cover them with makeup. I traced them lightly with my fingertip.

"I'm sorry," I murmured.

"Thank you. It's just…I have a lot on my mind."

I wanted to tell her that we could just sleep if she invited me up. I would gladly hold her in my arms and stroke her hair all night while she slept, but I felt that offering to do that might be too much for her. It was definitely the sort of thing that a boyfriend would do for a girlfriend, and something told me that Isabella wasn't ready for that.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I offered but as I had expected she simply shook her head and gave me a smile.

"Will I see you again?" I asked and held my breath.

"You'll see me in class in Tuesday," she answered.

"Outside of class," I pressed. "I want to…"

_Take away the pain I see in your eyes, kiss you, hug you, talk and laugh with you, make love to you, cook for you. I want to watch you sleep and brush your hair and feed you strawberries. I want all of it, Isabella!_

"I want to keep seeing you privately," I said, being a coward for hiding my true feelings but also acting out of self-preservation. Isabella would run in the opposite direction if she knew, and that would not bode well for me. Not at all.

"Maybe we can talk after class?" she suggested.

"You're not saying no, then?" I asked.

She shook her head and gave me a small smile.

"I…I have a lot going on," she said quietly. "But we can talk more on Tuesday, okay?"

I nodded. She hadn't agreed to start up our arrangement again but she wasn't rejecting the idea either. She leaned over and kissed me again, and I cupped her face in my hands.

"Goodnight," I whispered against her lips before she pulled away.

"Goodnight Edward," she said softly before exiting the car.

She turned at her door and smiled at me before going inside and it made my stomach feel fluttery. I watched as the lights in her apartment went on and I knew that she was safely inside.

"Sweet dreams," I whispered.

I knew that all my dreams, asleep and awake, revolved around her now and I also knew that this was not going to change. The realization was both terrifying and exciting, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I could never go back to safe and predictable again after having met her. Emmett had been right. She had resuscitated me, made me feel alive and most importantly made me experience what it was like to be in love. Now I only hoped that I might be able to do the same for her.

**What is going on with Isabella? Will they get back together and will Edward eventually slip up and tell her that he loves her?**

**I hope you don't think less of Edward for his eavesdropping. The girl is quite a mystery and I did it to keep the story in his POV but still get a little insight into her mind. :)**

**Leave me a review if you liked it.**

**To my "Taken" readers: It's been forever, believe me I know. I've started writing the next chapter but it's a really, really slow process and I am not feeling inspired at all at the moment. Sorry for the delay. **

**Oh, and lastly. Both The Blizzard and The Education of Professor Cullen are nominated for Shimmer awards. Voting begins on June 27****th**** and I hope that you will vote. There are some great stories that are nominated.**

**www (dot) shimmerawards (dot) webs (dot) com **


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Ok, we're doing things a little different this time, people. I am sorry to tell you that this chapter has not been through Melanie's capable hands because I was pressed for time. I am going on holiday with the family early tomorrow morning and I couldn't have uploaded the betaed version of this chapter until late next week when I come home. I didn't want you guys to wait that long. Please excuse the mistakes that Melanie usually corrects for me. This will be the only time that I do this since her suggestions always improve the chapters a lot. **

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

"Let's get it on. Let's get it on."

_Shit. Not now!_

I had been having the most wonderful dream about Isabella. We were outside in a field or a meadow somewhere making love. Not sleeping together, having sex or any of the other terms that they use on the cable shows. No, we were making love and it was beautiful. I had told her how much I loved her and she had touched my face and smiled before saying that she loved me too.

I discovered that I desperately wanted to recreate that dream in real life, and this shocked me wide awake. I was most definitely not the type of person, who would ever get naked outside, and I would be terrified of being discovered in flagrante. And because I was me, I probably _would_ get caught. And considering my luck it would most likely be by a high school class on a fieldtrip or some nuns.

_I don't care! I will make that happen some day!_

The phone rang again and I stumbled out of bed and into the living room to answer it. Why I never learned to put it on my nightstand before bed was beyond me.

"Hey bro," Emmett said cheerfully when I picked it up. "Come and meet me and Jasper for brunch."

My stomach rumbled loudly the second he mentioned food.

"Ok, the usual place?" I asked.

"Yup. You can bring Isabella if you want," he offered.

I could feel my lips turn into a pout at the reminder that Isabella and I hadn't spent the night together.

"She's not here," I said simply, not wanting to get into it over the phone.

"Oh," my brother said. "I'm sorry, Edward."

"That's ok. When should we meet?" I asked.

"Is half an hour enough to get ready?"

"That's fine. See you then," I said and hung up.

I launched myself back into bed and buried my face in my pillow.

_I wish she was here!_

I let my mind drift back to the kisses that we had shared on the hood of my car the night before. The first one had been so wild and unrestrained. Well, Isabella was pretty much restrained by my hands but that was another matter entirely. I loved her passion and lust when she moaned wantonly and rubbed herself against me. Although the next kiss had been different is was just as good, if not even better. It had been soft and tender but still passionate and I had embraced her during. Even though Isabella hadn't agreed to start seeing me again privately I still saw last night's outing as successful. She had forgiven me, kissed me and made plans to see me again on Tuesday after class. That was more than I dared to hope for.

I showered quickly, dressed and headed downtown to the café that Emmett and I always went to when we had lunch together. He and Jasper were seated at a table outside waiting for me when I arrived and I was surprised to see them alone. I had thought that maybe Alice and Rosalie would be with them since I assumed that they had spent the night with them after leaving the club. That was certainly my brother's M.O. and the way that Alice and Jasper had been all over each other made me think that they had also gone home together.

"What happened last night?" Jasper all but squealed the second I was within hearing range. "Emmett said that you left with Isabella."

"You didn't notice?" I asked dryly, although I couldn't help but smile a little.

"I, uh, I guess I got a little distracted," Jasper said sheepishly but he couldn't contain the huge grin on his face.

"I'll say!" Emmett boomed and hit him on the back. "You should have seen him and the tiny chick, Edward. I thought they were going to fuck on the bar!"

"Her name is Alice," Jasper said sternly. "And she's not just a chick. She's…amazing."

He sighed dreamily and Emmett rolled his eyes.

"What about you and Rosalie?" I asked curiously. "You seemed to be getting along."

"They went home together," Jasper revealed with a grin.

_Typical Emmett._

"It wasn't like that," Emmett muttered. "She didn't want to stay at her place while Jasper and Alice were getting it on."

"Sure it wasn't," Jasper grinned. "I bet you were a perfect gentleman."  
My brother looked down and shifted in his seat.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"I, uh, I'd rather not talk about it."

_Ok, that's definitely a first! He usually loves to brag about his conquests. Unless…_

"So you two really didn't…" I trailed off and stared at him in disbelief.

"We just…cuddled," he said quietly.

"What?" I spluttered. "You…_cuddled_?"

I never thought that I would hear those words coming out of my brother's mouth.

"It was nice," he said defensively.

Jasper was staring at Emmett with his mouth hanging open.

"Wow," he finally said and shook his head lightly. "Emmett is a cuddler. Who would have guessed? Anyway, what happened with you and Isabella?"  
He looked expectantly at me but before I could answer the waiter came out. We placed our orders and the second he was gone again Jasper repeated his question.

"I just drove her home," I said vaguely.

"That's all?" my brother asked, looking very disappointed. "We went through all that with the clothes and spa and nothing happened?"

"Well, we kissed," I admitted.

"Ooh, that's good, right?" Jasper asked.

I nodded.

"But when I told her that I wanted to see her again privately she said that we should talk after class on Tuesday."

Emmett winced as if he was in pain.

"She wants to talk? Sorry buddy."

"What's so bad about that?" I asked, deeply confused.

I thought that it was great that Isabella and I were talking and not just engaging in sexual activities. Now I wasn't so sure.

"It's never really a good thing when a woman tells you that she wants to talk. It's almost always about something bad."

_That can't be right! Can it?_

"But she didn't say no either," I protested. "And she kissed me. How can it be bad that she wants to talk to me?"

"What did she say exactly?" Jasper asked.

I thought for a few seconds before answering.

"She said that she has a lot going on and she hadn't been sleeping well. She looked really tired…and kind of sad," I said quietly.

I remembered the dark circles that makeup couldn't conceal completely and the look in her eyes. She was going through something but I had no idea what it was. Talking had to be a good thing if it meant getting to know her better so that I might be able to help her with whatever it was that was troubling her. It made my chest hurt to think of her in pain and I sighed heavily.

"What do you think it is?" Emmett asked gently and I was surprised to see the concern in his eyes.

"I don't have a clue," I admitted. "I hardly know her. That's why I have to believe that talking on Tuesday will be a good thing. I want to know her.

_And not just in the biblical sense._

"I…I want her to love me."

Jasper gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Um, how do I make that happen?" I asked, looking at the two of them while desperately hoping that they knew the answer.

"Edward, you can't make her fall in love with you," Jasper said. "These things just happen."

_Damn it. Not the answer I was hoping for. _

"That's bull," my brother piped up. "You can totally get her to fall for you!"

"Really? How?" I asked, ridiculously eager to know.

"Easy," Emmett grinned. "You just need to have lots and lots of sex with her."

_Oh, I like that plan! My brother is a genius!_

_Wait, what am I saying? Emmmett? A genius? I think not._

I blinked a few times and stared at my brother who was nodding knowingly and looked very pleased with himself. Jasper, on the other hand, looked puzzled as I am sure I did as well.

"What do you mean?" I asked and scratched my neck. "How would that make her love me?"

"There's like this hormone that gets released when you're fucking," he said matter-of-factly. "It makes you fall in love."

"Pardon me?" I asked. "A love hormone? Is that what you're saying?"

"Exactly!" he said and tapped his nose. "It's supposed to keep the woman from cheating and urge the man to provide for the offspring."

"Where did you hear that?" I asked and narrowed my eyes. "TV?"

_The only things Emmett read are liquor labels and articles in his nudie magazines._

"Uh-huh," he confirmed. "The Discovery Channel."

"And you actually believe that?" I asked.

"Why do you think I only fuck a woman a few times before moving on?" he asked.

"Because you're a big ol'e manwhore," Jasper said dryly and I couldn't stop myself from snickering.

"I am not!" Emmett said indignantly. "I'm just making sure that I don't get any clingy lovesick women on my hands."

"Keep telling yourself that," Jasper grinned and turned to me. "Love isn't all about hormones, Edward. It's about soul mates and destiny. You meet the right person and you just know it. Like it was always meant to be. Your perfect counterpart who was designed specifically for you."

He was staring dreamily into space while Emmett was pretending to throw up while rolling his eyes. I looked at my two companions and wondered how on earth they were friends when they were so fundamentally different. I didn't believe Emmett's theory completely although it did make a lot of sense from a biological standpoint. But I couldn't believe that love was just hormones. There seemed to be more than that to it.

But Jasper's take on things was a little too naïve and rosy for my logical mind and I couldn't quite get behind that theory either. I hadn't loved Isabella the first time I saw her. I had found her to be highly annoying and disruptive and only after getting to know her better, biblically and otherwise, had I realized that I loved her.

It looked like I was on my own on this one. I just had to follow my own instincts and do what I believed was best for Isabella and me.

"I'm sending her some flowers," I announced. "I want her to be happy and let her know that I'm thinking of her. Girls like flowers, right?"

Both of them nodded and I breathed out with relief. Maybe I really could figure this out.

"You should get her red roses," Emmett said. "You can't go wrong with a classic."

"No," Jasper objected. "You should find out what her zodiac is and give her the flowers that match hers."

My head was spinning. Once again my friends were in disagreement.

_Just follow your instincts, Edward!_

"No," I said. "I'll send her something that I think she will like. Something that reminds me of her."  
"Oh, that's even better!" Jasper said and clapped his hands. "You're so romantic!"

Emmett shot him a look.

"Dude, if I hadn't seen you make out with a girl less than twenty-four hours ago I would so think that you were gay."  
Jasper just laughed happily and smiled at me in approval.

"She will fall for you, Edward," he said with conviction. "How could she not?"  
I returned the smile, praying that he was right.

After brunch I stopped by a florist and looked around at their selection.

"Can I help you find something?" the lady behind the counter asked me.

"If I pick out some flowers can you make them into a bouquet?" I asked.

She nodded and smiled. It wasn't the first time that I bought a woman flowers but usually I would just choose a ready-made bouquet. I hadn't ever made one myself. I started grabbing whatever I thought Isabella might like. Some pretty pink ones that reminded me of the color of her lips, some purple flowers that smelled incredible just as she always did and some white ones with silky soft petals like her skin. I kept picking out flowers whenever I found one that made me think of her and finally handed all of them to the florist who gave them a dubious look.

"Are you sure these are the ones you want?" she asked gently.

From her expression I could see that I was probably committing what would be considered a major faux-pas in the world of floral arrangements but I didn't care.

"I'm sure," I said confidently and watched as she turned them into a bouquet.

When she held it up for me to see I smiled brightly. It was Isabella in floral form. Seemingly mismatched colors and shapes that were beautiful when you put them all together. Isabella was anything but ordinary, color coordinated and safe. She was wild, passionate and bursting with life, just like the bouquet. It was perfect for her, and she was perfect for me. I paid and didn't even care about the ridiculously high price. I just hoped that it would make her smile. I gave the woman Isabella's address and enclosed a card with the bouquet.

"Dear Isabella, thank you for forgiving me. I miss you and I cannot wait to see you on Tuesday. Sincerely, Edward."

I wanted to write "love, Edward," but I knew that I couldn't do that. I left the shop feeling much better and I hoped that Isabella would perhaps call or text me when she got the flowers the next day.

But she didn't. The weekend passed without a single word and she didn't update her Facebook page either. To say that I was miserable would have been a gross understatement. I didn't understand what she was thinking and doing. Did she perhaps enjoy torturing me? Why would she kiss me passionately one night and then ignore me afterwards? I didn't understand at all.

On Tuesday I was ready to get some answers out of her by any means necessary but she didn't show up for class. I tried calling her after I came home but it went straight to her voicemail. I flopped down on the couch feeling frustrated, angry but most of all hurt. For the first time in years I felt moisture beginning to pool in the corners of my eyes and I wiped them angrily.

_You're a grown man, for God's sake!_

I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the pain in my chest, and finally curled up in a ball and fell asleep.

I woke up when I heard the door bell ringing. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, surprised to see that it was almost dark outside. I had slept for several hours. I walked to the door and the second I opened I was attacked. Warm soft lips were on mine, kissing me hungrily and small eager hands were all over me. It took me a second to register that Isabella was practically jumping me in my hallway.

_What is she doing?_

"Isabella, Isabella," I choked out between frantic kisses.

She pulled back for a second and I caught a glimpse of her eyes. Red and swollen. She launched herself at me again and her hands were everywhere. _Everywhere._

_Oh God, I have to stop. Something is wrong. But it feels so good. So. Fucking. Good. _

Somehow I found the strength to gently push her off me and she groaned loudly in frustration and whirled away from me. I was temporarily stunned and needed a minute to collect myself before I followed her into the living room. Her back was to me and she had lit a cigarette. I didn't say anything about her smoking because frankly I couldn't have cared less that the moment. Something was clearly going on with her. I noticed that she was wearing a black dress which was much too conservative to be her style and her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"What makes you think anything is wrong?" she asked and took another angry pull of her cigarette.

"You're smoking. You only smoke when you're partying or if you're upset about something."

"You think you know me just because I let you fuck me a few times?" she spat.

I gasped. How could she be this cruel to me? Her shoulders slumped and I could see her hands shake.

"I'm sorry," she said in a small voice. "I don't know why I said that. I should go."  
She turned to walk past me but I held onto her shoulders and made her look up at me. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears and she looked like she hadn't slept since I saw her the last time.

"What happened?" I whispered.

"Nothing," she said and shook her head. "I just…"

She brushed past me into the kitchen where she held her cigarette under the running water before she threw it in the trash.

"Look, are you going to fuck me or not?" she asked.

_What? I can't! Not when she's upset!_

"Isabella."

"Are you?" she asked impatiently.

"No, but,"

"Then there's no reason for me to stay!" she said agitatedly and headed for the hallway.

_No! I am not letting her leave like this!_

I grabbed her hand, mentally preparing myself to get thrown down but this time she simply stopped and hung her head. I held her hand gently and felt it tremble in mine as she stood with her back turned to me.

"Please," I whispered.

What I was begging for I wasn't entirely sure. That she would stay? That she would let me in? That she would let me love her? All of it?

"Please," I said again a little louder and gave her hand a small squeeze.

Her shoulders shook and I suddenly understood that she was crying. She was crying and it broke my heart. Without another thought I pulled her to me and enveloped her in my arms. Loud sobs started raking through her and I felt her hands fist in my shirt.

_Oh God, what should I do? What do I say?_

I had never comforted a crying woman before and I didn't want to say the wrong thing since I had no idea what had happened to her. She didn't look physically hurt at least. I gently stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm here, I'm here," I whispered.

I didn't know if those words brought her any comfort but I hoped she understood that I was here for her. Out of nowhere she pulled away and I was scared that she would leave.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked.

_Please say yes, please say yes._

She nodded and I hurried into the kitchen. I was unsure what I should serve her. Alcohol didn't seem like a very good idea.

_Think, Edward. She's upset and crying. _

Inspiration hit me and I started to pull things from the fridge and freezer quickly. I walked into the living room and handed her the tall glass which she eyed suspiciously.

"What is this?" she asked and turned the glass in her hand to inspect it.

"Um, it's a, uh, a black cow?"

"A what?"

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"It's a root beer float. You know…with ice cream," I explained.

She gave it another dubious look before she took a drink of the straw.

_Oh God, I hope she likes it!_

"This is good," she said and sniffled a little. "Why did you make it for me?"

"My mom used to make them when I was upset," I confessed. "You know, when I was little."

Her eyes watered again and I immediately regretted telling her that although I didn't know why she was crying. I took the glass from her and put it on the coffee table. She stood in front of me looking like she was two seconds away from either jumping me again or sprinting to the door. I took her hands in mine and made her sit down on the couch next to me.

"Why weren't you in class today?" I asked cautiously.

"I had to be somewhere," she said. "I'm sorry I missed it and our talk afterwards."

"That's ok. Are you alright?"

"Why do you care?" she asked.

_Because I love you!_

"I…just do."

She turned her face to look at me for a second and wiped away a tear.

"Yeah, I'm alright," she sighed.

I looked down at her hands in her lap and saw that her nails were bitten down to the quick. What had happened to her? I realized that I would have to drag every answer out of her if I wanted to know anything.

"Where did you go today?"

She sniffled again and blinked a few times.

"A funeral," she whispered.

_Oh no! Oh fuck! _

I reached over and took her hand gently in mine.

_I'm here, Isabella. I'll be here for you. _

I didn't know if I should ask her who the funeral was for. Would that be too forward of me or would it be impolite if I didn't inquire further?

"It was my grandfather," she said, without my having to ask.

"Oh Isabella, I'm so sorry," I said softly and held her hand a little tighter in mine.

She looked down to our joined hands and suddenly yanked hers away. She stood up quickly and turned her back to me. I could see that she was breathing faster and clenching her fists at her side.

"I don't even know why I'm this fucking upset about it!" she suddenly yelled.

I stood up and put my hands on her shoulders cautiously. She flinched a little at my touch but at least she didn't pull away.

"I mean, it's not like I've really lost anything," she mumbled, mostly to herself.

"Was he… sick?" I asked.

She let out a bitter laugh.

"He was probably in better shape than I was. But his mind…"

She took a shaky breath and I felt her tremble again.

"He…he didn't even…I was his… and he didn't even," she sobbed

I couldn't really make out the meaning of her words because she was crying again. I tried to turn her around but she wouldn't move. In stead she picked up the book that I had been reading earlier and hurled it across the room with an angry yell.

"He didn't even know who I was, Edward!" she cried and spun around into my arms.

I picked her up and sat down on the couch with her curled up in my lap. Her body shook with sobs and she didn't say anything for a long time. I held her tightly and stroked her hair because it seemed to calm her a little. She felt so tiny and fragile in my arms, almost like a child, really.

"Isabella," I murmured softly. "Do you want me to take you somewhere? I could take you to your parents?"

That was where I would be if someone close to me had died.

"They're dead," she said in a completely monotone voice.

_Oh fuck!_

"Oh God," I whispered. "Isabella, I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

"That's ok. You didn't know," she said and buried her face in my neck.

"Siblings?" I asked, almost afraid of hearing the answer.

"No, it was just me and Pop."

_No family at all?_

"Now it's just me, I guess" she whispered and I felt her start to cry again. "I can go to Rosalie and Alice's if you want me to leave."

"No!" I said immediately and tightened my hold on her. "Please stay. I don't want you to go. I just thought you might like to be with…you know…family."

She let out a sob and I cursed myself for being so idiotic that I mentioned the word "family" again when I knew that Isabella didn't have one.

_I am such a moron!_

"I'm so sorry," I whispered into her hair.

"I know we don't usually do this, but…"

"But what?" I asked.

"Can I stay here tonight?" she asked so quietly that I could barely hear her.

"Of course," I said softly and gave her a squeeze. "You can stay as long as you want."

_Stay forever._

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Do you need anything?" I asked. "Can I do something?"

I felt so helpless and I didn't know how to make it better for her.

"I'd like to get out of this shitty dress," she mumbled. "I hate it."

"Um, would you like a bath first?" I asked. "You can borrow something to wear afterwards."

She nodded and crawled off my lap. I led her into the bathroom and showed her where the towels were before I went into my bedroom and found a pair of pajamas. After a few minutes I knocked on the door and walked in to find her sitting in the tub with her arms curled around her bent legs. She was so tiny and my heart ached her for.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. "Did you have dinner?"

She shook her head.

"Lunch?"

"No."

"Isabella, when was the last time you ate?" I asked anxiously.

"Yesterday…maybe," she said unsurely. "I'm not hungry."

"I'm making you something," I said firmly.

"Ok," she nodded, and I was happy that she didn't argue with me.

"Just come out whenever you're ready, ok?"

She nodded again and I turned to leave.

"Thank you, Edward," she said quietly.

I gave her a smile before I left to give her some privacy. In the kitchen I decided to make a simple pasta dish because it was fast and I knew that she liked Italian food. I was exceedingly happy that she had decided to come here in her time of need and I was able to take care of her. I made a few calculations in my head and came to the conclusion that her grandfather must have died sometime Saturday since she wasn't sad when I had seen her on Friday at the club. I wished that she would have called me when she found out but I hoped that she had at least been with Rosalie and Alice in the last few days. I hated the thought of her going through all of this on her own.

I had just finished making dinner when she came out, looking completely adorable in my pajamas. It was several sizes too big and she had rolled up the sleeves so she wouldn't trip.

"How are you feeling?" I asked

"I'm ok," she said and gave me a small smile. "Thank you for the clothes."

"You're welcome. Are you ready to eat?"

She nodded and helped me carry the food to the table. She didn't eat much and her mind seemed like it was a million miles away. I reached over and covered her hand with mine.

"Are you ok?"

She looked up at me and nodded.

"I guess. It's not like I wasn't expecting this. He'd been sick for a while. Alzheimer's," she said quietly.

"Was it…bad?" I asked carefully.

Her eyes watered again and I could have kicked myself for asking all those inane questions that only made her more upset.

"Sorry, you don't have to tell me anything," I said quickly.

"No, it's ok," she said. "Yeah, it was bad at the end. He didn't know who I was."

"That's awful," I whispered.

"He thought I was one of the nice nurses," she said bitterly. "They should be nice with what I was paying them."

"You were paying?"

"I was his guardian of sorts," she explained with a sigh. "There wasn't anyone else and it's not like he could manage his affairs himself. It's pretty ironic really."

"What is?" I asked.

Her bottom lip trembled and her eyes watered again.

"He…took care of me after…my parents. And then I took care of him," she said.

She took a deep breath.

"That's why we moved here, you know. The home he was in. They're really good with Alzheimer's patients. I tried to visit as much as I could. We had dinner together a few nights a week. Not that it made a difference to him….He forgot me."

Her voice cracked on the last word and she buried her face in her hands. I had never seen her like this, so vulnerable and unguarded. She was usually in complete control of herself and it pained me to see her so hurt and frail. I stood up, walked over and knelt down next to her chair. I put my hand on her knee and she lowered her hands to look at me. She looked as though she was going to say something but instead she launched herself into my arms and clung to me.

I sat on the floor for a while with her curled up on my lap. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her pajamas before sighing heavily.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"I'm so fucking tired," she whispered. "I haven't really slept a lot. The funeral arrangements took a lot of time."

"You did all of it by yourself?" I asked incredulously.

"No one else to do it," she answered and shrugged. "I'd like to go to bed now."

She stood up and started clearing her plate away but I told her to get ready for bed and I would clean up. She gave me a grateful smile and padded into the bathroom while I quickly cleared the table.

"Edward?" she called. "Do you have an extra toothbrush?"

_Damn!_

"I'm sorry, I don't," I said regretfully.

"I'll just use yours, ok?"

Normally, the thought of someone else using my toothbrush would have given me the willies but because it was Isabella it just made me smile.

"Ok," I called and felt the corners of my mouth turn up in a grin that I couldn't contain.

I used the bathroom after Isabella and changed into my own set of pajamas. Isabella was already in bed and I wasn't sure how to proceed next.

"I can, uh," I said and motioned towards the living room.

"Just come to bed, Edward," she mumbled.

She was on her side and I lay down on my back. I didn't know if I should hold her or not. I didn't want to overstep and risk that she wanted to sleep on the couch. I really, really wanted to, though. When she moved a little closer I decided to take the plunge. I reached over and pulled her against my chest and much to my thrill she melted into my embrace and wrapped her arm around me.

"Thank you for letting me stay," she whispered.

I kissed her forehead and caressed her hair.

"Don't thank me," I murmured. "I meant what I said before. You can stay as long as you like."

"Thank you for the flowers," she said and pressed her lips against the side of my neck. "They're so beautiful."

"You really like them?" I asked.

"I love them," she said softly. "I didn't get them until I went home today. I was staying with the girls. My neighbor found them and put them in water for me."

"Oh, I, uh, I thought maybe you didn't like them or…I didn't hear from you."

"I'm here now, though," she whispered.

I kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair again. She sighed a little and soon I heard her breathing become deep and regular. I had never spent the night with a woman before and now I was glad for that fact. I only ever wanted to sleep with Isabella. It was everything that I had imagined it would be. I was finally able to hold her for more than a few minutes and it was wonderful to know that she would be here all night and that I would see her again in the morning.

I felt terrible for her loss and I hoped that she would stay for at least a few days so I could take care of her and be there for her. I was shocked to learn that Isabella was all alone in the world with no family. She should be with people who loved her in this difficult time. Well, technically she _was_ with a person who loved her. She just didn't know it. I listened to her breathing for a while and only when I was absolutely sure that she was fast asleep did I find the courage to whisper:

"I love you, Isabella."

**So what does everyone think of Isabella now? **

**Will Edward be able to win her heart, and will she stay with him and let him take care of her?**

**Leave me a review! :) **

**Voting for The Shimmer Awards starts tomorrow**

**www (dot) shimmerawards (dot) webs (dot) com**

**Oh, and one final thing that I need your help with. My story "Taken" was being plagiarized on this site (the false story has been removed now) but if you ever come across one of my stories on someone else's page please let me know. It's stealing and it's been happening a lot lately. Thank you in advance. **


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Hey everyone, I'm back! **

**Thank you for all your reviews and PMs. I am very flattered but not interested in having this story translated. Thank you for offering, though. **

**Melanie has worked her magic on this chapter for your reading pleasure. It helps a lot. Thank you, my lovely! By the way, if you haven't already, check out the one-shot I wrote for her birthday called "Safe With You." **

**That's all for now.**

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

I woke up to the usual tingling sensation between my legs that greeted me every morning. Waking up aroused was business as usual and almost automatically I reached down and rubbed my erection lazily through my pajama pants. I moaned a little and gripped it tighter. I was about to pull it out and start stroking it when I heard a small giggle next to me.

_Holy shit!_

My eyes popped open and my heart thundered in my chest as the panic set in. I suddenly remembered that for the first time in my life I wasn't alone in bed.

_Oh God! Isabella is here! And she just saw me...Oh fuck! She just saw me about to…No, no, no! Kill me now!_

I tried to get my hand to cooperate and let go of my erection but I was completely frozen in shock. I had never been so embarrassed in my entire life. The woman I loved had just witnessed me groping myself while she was lying right next to me. I finally managed to remove my hand from my crotch and rolled onto my stomach. My cheeks were scorching and I hid my face in my pillow. I heard her let out a small laugh and peeked up at her. She was lying on her side with her head propped up in her hand, smiling sweetly at me. She looked so young and innocent in my striped pajamas and her loose wavy hair only added to the image.

_She looks like an angel and I just behaved like a complete animal!_

"I, uh, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm not used to anyone being here, and it only happened because it's, um, morning and I can't really help it. I'm sorry," I babbled and buried my face again. 

"Edward," she laughed. "I know about morning wood. You don't have to be embarrassed. I was rather enjoying the show."

_What?_

I glanced up at her and she looked completely at ease.

"You were?"

"Mmm," she hummed. "You looked really hot touching yourself. Want me to help you out?"

I gaped at her and she just gave me that lopsided grin of hers and added a wink.

"You don't have to. I mean, we don't have to do anything. I…That's not why I said you could stay over," I said quickly.

I didn't want her to think that I expected anything from her. Letting her spend the night was the best decision I had ever made. Actually, giving Isabella a ride home from Emmett's bar that first night was the best decision but this was a close second.

"I know that," she said softly. "I want to."

I rolled onto my side facing her and she moved over to me.

"Are you sure?" I whispered.

She nodded and smiled. I leaned in to kiss her but she pulled back slightly.

_She doesn't want to. I'll just offer to hold her. She liked that last night. _

"Isabella, I-"

"Morning breath," she whispered and smiled.

_Oh! _

"I don't care," I mumbled and cupped her face with my hands before I brushed my lips against hers.

She leaned into the kiss but kept her mouth closed. I smiled, and thus a silent compromise was made. Kissing in the morning was ok as long as it didn't involve tongue. I could live with that. I started to unbutton her pajama top, kissing her soft skin as it was revealed to me. I inhaled her fragrance and reveled in this new scent of hers. She smelled like warmth, sleep and woman_, my_ woman, _my_ Isabella. Far more enticing and alluring to me than any designer perfume could be. I nipped the swell of her breast and opened another button to reveal her little pink nipple which I kissed gently. I traced around it with the tip of my tongue and sucked it into my mouth. Isabella moaned softly and I felt her fingers in my hair. I pulled the pajama top off her and kissed her lips.

"You are so beautiful," I said reverently.

She smiled and now I wasn't surprised by the fluttering feeling it caused in my stomach. It was love for her and now I wanted to make love _to_ her. I cupped both of her breasts in my hands and gave her nipples equal attention with my mouth until they were both erect and Isabella was breathing heavily.

"Tell me if you want me to stop," I whispered.

"Don't stop," she said immediately. "It feels so good."

I kept teasing her nipples and loosened the string in her pajama bottoms before sliding my hands down her back and into them. Naked soft skin and nothing else. My erection twitched eagerly when I made this little discovery.

"Oh God," I moaned against her breasts. "You're not wearing any underwear."

"You didn't give me any last night," she sighed. "I didn't want to wear the same pair after my bath. I thought maybe you did it on purpose."

"I wish I was that clever," I mumbled and flicked over her nipple with my tongue while I grabbed her naked backside firmly in my hands.

"Fuck," she moaned. "You're killing me here, Edward. Touch me, please."

_I'll do whatever you ask me._

I gave her cheeks one final squeeze and pulled her bottoms all the way down. I ran my hand over her stomach and smiled when she lifted her top leg eagerly to grant me access. She was soft, smooth and wet under my fingers and I groaned when I felt how ready she was. I nipped at her nipples and stroked her small sensitive mound gently with my middle finger until she started to move her hips. My erection was throbbing at this point and I wanted inside her.

"I need you," I whispered.

"Take me, Edward" she moaned. "I want you."

I removed my pajamas in what I was sure was record time and moved up so we were lying face to face. I really wanted to be with her in this position but I didn't know if that was possible. Isabella moved closer, lifted her leg over my hip and reached down to hold my erection. I drew a sharp breath when I felt her warm wetness against its head.

_Ok, it's definitely possible!_

I tilted my hips slightly and pushed forward slowly until I was enveloped by her slick heat.

_Paradise!_

"Oh God," I gasped. "It's always so..."

"I know," she moaned. "It's amazing."

I held onto her thigh and covered her neck and chest with kisses while I thrust slowly in and out of her.

"Isabella," I groaned. "You're so warm. You feel so good."

"So do you," she said and kissed me softly.

I pulled her leg up a bit higher which allowed me to go deeper and she moaned loudly in approval. I knew that I was close to finishing all too soon and Isabella wasn't quite there yet so I reached down between us and rubbed small circles on her clit while I sucked on her nipples in turn.

"Oh fuck, Edward!" she begged. "Please don't stop!"

"Never," I panted and kissed her lips before returning my mouth to her breasts.

I thrust harder and felt her hands tighten in my hair.

"Yes," she moaned. "God, it's so good. It's so perfect!"

I rubbed her hard and fast and felt her clench around me all of a sudden.

"Edward!" she cried out as she came.

In a surprisingly smooth move I rolled her onto her back, wrapped her legs around my waist and pumped in and out of her warm wet core at a furious pace. It was without a doubt the best and most intense feeling in the world. I lowered my mouth to her nipples, sucking and licking them ravenously while she moaned loudly and moved her hips with mine. I reached down between us and rubbed her where she was the most sensitive and Isabella let out a small cry.

"Jesus, fuck! Again!"

_Again! Yes!_

Her second orgasm seemed to hit her harder as she arched her back, screwed her eyes shut and opened her mouth in a silent scream. Her inner muscles massaged my length vigorously and I couldn't hold back any longer. I thrust into her going fast and hard intent on climaxing with her.

"Oh fuck! Isabella! Isabella!" I called, and buried my face in her neck when my body went rigid and I came in an explosion of pleasure.

I felt her wrap her arms around my shoulders and hold me close to her as we both panted and tried to catch our breath. I kissed her neck softly and ran my hand down the side of her body, loving that we were finally together like this again.

"That was amazing," I whispered.

"Understatement," she chuckled and caressed my hair.

"What time is it?" she asked after a minute or so.

"No idea," I mumbled and kissed her neck again.

"I have to leave at ten," she said quietly.

I groaned a little and reluctantly lifted my head to check my watch.

"It's only eight," I said and nuzzled against her warm fragrant skin. "You have time. Where are you going?"

"There's just a lot I still need to do. I have to pack up Pop's whole life and I'm meeting with the lawyer today to discuss the will. There's no point, really. I get everything."

"Everything?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "I guess I'm rich now."

"Yay for me," she added bitterly.

I rolled us over so I wouldn't crush her with my weight and stroked her hair.

"Can I help you with anything? I don't have to work today."

She hugged me a little tighter.

"Thank you, but we can't really go out together. If people see us…It's better if I go alone."

I knew that she was right. The semester was almost over and we shouldn't take any unnecessary risks at this point when we were so close to the finish line, so to speak.

"Let me make you some breakfast before you have to go," I said.

At least I could do that.

"You don't have to," she said. "I can make some."

"You don't know how to cook, remember?"

She smiled against my neck and kissed me.

"You have a point. Thank you."

"Don't thank me Isabella, I want to- really. What would you like?"

"Anything is fine. I usually just have some cereal or something," she said and shrugged.

"I'll think of something. You rest and I'll come and get you when it's ready," I said and started to move away from her.

She tightened her hold on me.

"Just five more minutes?" she asked quietly.

_You can have me for the rest of my life if you want!_

"Ok," I said and smiled.

She snuggled back into my arms and I caressed her naked back. Soon I felt her body become heavier and her breathing slowed. She was asleep.

_She must be exhausted. _

I extracted myself carefully so I wouldn't wake her and slid out of bed. She made a sound of dissatisfaction and curled up in a tiny ball. Her small frame made my bed look huge and I pulled the cover up to her chin to keep her from getting cold. I found it extremely difficult to put clothes on and leave the bedroom when all I really wanted to do was crawl back into bed and hold her while she slept. But I knew that Isabella had a busy and stressful day ahead of her and she needed a good breakfast before she left.

_She's leaving._

The thought depressed me more than I cared to admit to myself. We hadn't really talked about how long she would stay with me. I wasn't ready for her to go yet and I desperately hoped that I might convince her to stay another night. Holding her in my arms before falling asleep last night was one of the most wonderful things I had ever experienced. I loved having her here and I knew that if she agreed to start up our arrangement again I would definitely spend the night with her afterwards every time we were together. Sleeping in each other's arms had become just as important as having sex with her. Perhaps even more so. I felt like a fool for having turned down her offer for me to stay all those times in the past and instead going home to my cold lonely bed after our trysts. That would never happen again. But I was getting ahead of myself. Nothing had been resolved yet and for all I knew Isabella would leave after breakfast never to return to my bed or my life again. The notion made my heart clench.

_She has to say agree to see me again. She just has to!_

I rummaged through my fridge and cupboards to see what I could make her for breakfast. Luckily, I had gotten into the habit of doing my grocery shopping for an entire week at a time and my kitchen was fully stocked. I decided on blueberry waffles, eggs and bacon, toast and fresh fruit. I knew that I was going completely overboard, of course.

_As if a breakfast buffet could make her love you. _

But I had to do something. If I could somehow show her that I could take care of her then maybe she would consider staying here with me for a longer period of time. She was here now and I wasn't about to make her exit an easy one. Furthermore, I wanted to do things for her. Isabella was used to being the one who cared for someone else and she deserved to be the one on the receiving end for once. I had never really had anyone to do this for before and now I hoped that Isabella would want me to be there for her.

I was also being selfish in my wishes. I couldn't get around that. I loved having her here and it made me happy. I wanted happiness and she was the one who brought it to me. I prayed that I could do that for her as well.

I set the table and when breakfast was keeping warm in the oven I snuck back into my bedroom and gazed down on the lovely girl in my bed. I knew that I should wake her immediately but I didn't know if I would ever get a chance like this again and therefore I joined her under the covers.

She was on her side facing away from me and I mirrored her pose and pressed against her warm body so that we were lying close to each other just like spoons in a drawer.

_Oh! I get it now. This is spooning. I like it!_

I placed soft kisses on her neck and stroked up and down her arm. She shivered lightly and when I peeked over her shoulder I could see her nipples hardening. I couldn't stop my hand from reaching under her arm and cupping her breast gently. I traced circles around her puckered nipple with my fingertip which caused Isabella to sigh and rub her naked thighs together.

_Is she getting aroused? Maybe she wants me to keep touching her?_

I felt slightly perverted caressing her when she was half-asleep but I couldn't bring myself to stop. I brought my hand down over her stomach and thighs, hoping that Isabella wouldn't suddenly stop me. I lifted her top leg back over my hip and took a deep breath before I slipped my fingers in between her folds. Her skin was warm and slick from our previous encounter and my fingers slid easily over her clit. She let out a long moan which I took as a very good sign and I wedged my free hand under her body to gently massage her breast. I tugged at her nipple and ran my fingers over her wet sensitive skin a few times.

"Edward," she moaned. "Mmm…what are you doing?"

"I'm waking you up," I whispered and nipped at her neck while I increased my ministrations on both her breast and clit.

"You're doing a very good job," she said, sounding a little out of breath. "Fuck, that's so…"

I reached a little lower and slid two fingers inside her. She arched her back and I sucked on her earlobe. I stroked her slowly and rubbed her clit with my thumb. She moaned loudly when I pinched her nipple and pressed against her sensitive little mound at the same time.

"Do you like that?" I whispered and gave her ear a gentle bite.

"Oh, yes," she moaned. "I love the way you touch me. You always make me feel so amazing."

_YES!_

I was flying on the inside at the sound of her words and kept rubbing, stroking and pinching until she was panting and moving her hips with my fingers.

"A-Almost," she gasped.

"I know. I can feel it," I said softly in her ear. "Please come, Isabella."

"Edward!" she cried out.

I watched as she closed her eyes and drew a deep breath before her body stilled in my arms. She pulsed and contracted around my fingers, and I was fairly sure that I was watching her with my mouth hanging open like some sort of simpleton. I had made Isabella climax before but I was usually too preoccupied with my own impending orgasm to really concentrate on her when it happened. She was beautiful; her pale skin flushed over her chest and face while her head was thrown back in ecstasy. Or at least I assumed that it was ecstasy she was feeling. That was how it was for me whenever she made me come.

She relaxed in my arms and I extracted my fingers from her carefully before pulling her closer in a tight embrace.

"Are you awake now?" I asked, smiling widely.

"Definitely," she chuckled.

"Good. Breakfast is ready," I said and kissed her neck.

She turned and reached down to palm my erection.

"What about you?" she asked.

"I'm fine," I promised. "Let's go eat."

"If you're sure," she said uncertainly, still eyeing the bulge in my pants.

"I am," I said, all the while knowing that I would have to take care of myself after she left.

I didn't mind, though. I wanted it to be about her today. I helped her out of bed and couldn't prevent a small disappointed sigh from escaping me when she started to put her dress on. I went back into the kitchen and washed my hands before I removed the plates from the oven and carried them to the table. I had just gotten the tea when Isabella came in looking very uncomfortable in her conservative dress. But her expression changed drastically when she saw the table that I had set.

"Holy shit!" she exclaimed and held her hands up to cover her mouth.

_I'm assuming that this is a positive reaction?_

"Edward, you shouldn't have done all of this," she said, although the smile on her face told me that I had definitely done something right.

"I wanted to," I said immediately. "Sit down and eat."

I fought the urge to pull out her chair for her and watched as she sat down.

"You made waffles!" she said excitedly. "Real ones. Not just the ready-made frozen kind."

I nodded and smiled while I joined her at the table.

"Wow," she said with a grin. "Orgasms _and _homemade waffles. This is like the best B&B in town. I may need to stay over more often."

_Here's your chance! Ask her to come over again tonight. Do it! Do it!_

"Um, Isabella?" I asked moronically as if I was in the seventh grade asking for a date to the dance.

"Yes, Edward?" she smiled as she lowered her fork, still loaded with food.

"I was thinking that if you want to, um, come by tonight. I mean, you have a long day today and maybe you wanted some dinner afterwards and you don't really cook and since I do and I'm not doing anything, um, maybe you wanted to come over…maybe? If you want," I rushed out, far too quickly for human perception.

_What was that? The most poorly constructed sentence in the history of the English language? At warp speed? I think so!_

Isabella shook her head lightly.

"Did you invite me over for dinner tonight?" she asked.

"Yes, I just thought…if you didn't want to be alone after dealing with the lawyer and everything else. I'm…here, you know?"

_That was a little better._

"I'd like that," she nodded. "Thank you. What time and can I bring anything?"

_Really? She said yes?_

"Seven? And you don't have to bring anything," I assured her.

"Not even a nightie?" she grinned. "I assume you'd like me to spend the night again?"

"I like you in my pajamas," I blurted out and felt my cheeks heat up.

"Is that so? I guess I can accommodate you on that request," she said with a wink.

She smiled and dug into her breakfast again with unrivalled eagerness and I found myself just gazing at her with an idiotic grin on my face.

"What do you have going on today?" she asked after a few minutes of watching her inhale her breakfast.

"Not much. I think I'm going to the gym with Emmett but that's about it, really. I always have articles that could use some attention but nothing specific now that the semester is almost over."

"Must be nice," she sighed. "I still have finals to worry about."

"You'll do great," I assured her.

"I guess," she said. "I just want them to be over and the holidays to begin. I need some time off."

"You've had a tough semester," I said sympathetically.

"Yeah. It wasn't all bad, though," she said and gave me a sexy smile.

_Is she talking about me?_

"Oh…I…Do you mean me?" I blurted out.

"Yes, Edward, I mean you," she laughed. "You were definitely a pleasant surprise."

"You were too," I said in complete honesty.

Never in a million years would I have been able to predict Isabella and the effect she was having on my life.

She smiled again and we finished our breakfast. She leaned back and sighed.

"Thank you so much. That was the best breakfast I've ever had," she said and patted her stomach. "I hate to eat and run but I have to get going now."

"Do you need a ride?"

"No thanks. I have Pop's…I mean, _my_ car. I need to go home and change first. And possibly burn this fucking dress," she mumbled.

"But you'll be back tonight?" I asked, failing miserably in keeping the blatant hopefulness out of my voice.

"Definitely," she said and stood up to clear the table.

"Leave it. I'll do it," I told her. "You don't want to be late for your appointment."

I walked her to the door and I was already missing her even though she was still here. It was a very strange feeling. I opened the door for her and she looked up at me.

"Thank you, Edward. For everything," she said softly.

"Don't thank me," I whispered and cupped her face in my hands.

I looked into her eyes and smiled before I leaned down and kissed her softly. Her eyes fluttered close and she wrapped her arms around my waist as the kiss deepened.

"Edward," she sighed as she pulled away slowly.

"I'll miss you today," I murmured, unthinkingly.

_Uh-oh! Should I not have said that?_

"You will?" she whispered.

I nodded and caressed her cheek while my heart thundered in my chest.

"Me too," she whispered so softly that I hardly registered it before she kissed me again, this time even more passionately.

When we finally broke apart we were both breathing heavily and I was more than ready to take her back to bed.

"Ok, I _really_ need to go now," Isabella chuckled. "But I'll see you tonight, ok?"

I nodded and leaned down for another quick kiss before she walked out. I watched her jump into the expensive vintage car that I now knew had belonged to her grandfather. I smiled when she honked the horn while she drove off, feeling giddy like a school boy because I would see her again in just hours.

I cleaned up after breakfast and tried my best not to think about Isabella since I was hoping that my erection might go down on its own. No such luck. Even though I had washed my hands it still seemed like I could smell her on me and I was finally forced to take care of my predicament.

Afterwards I made the bed and decided to give Emmett a call. Surprisingly, he was not available because he was taking Rosalie out to brunch. It seemed that the two of them were officially dating now which made me both happy and worried at the same time. I hoped that Emmett wouldn't repeat his usual pattern with Rosalie and move on after a week.

He was thrilled to hear that Isabella had spent the night and was coming over for another date. He assured me that I just needed to keep sleeping with her as much as possible and she would fall for me soon enough. I still wasn't entirely sure of his theory but it was certainly an experiment that I would enjoy immensely.

I went to the gym by myself and worked on one of my papers when I got home. I thought about Isabella coming over for dinner but suddenly remembered that I didn't know what she liked to eat. I wanted it to be special and it wouldn't do if I served something that she didn't care for.

_Her friends will know and Alice seems very nice. She will probably help me. _

I found her information online and took a deep breath before I dialed the number to her cell phone.

"This is Alice, speak your piece in ten seconds or less since it's finals," she chirped.

_Who answers their phone like that?_

"Alice? Hi, this is Edward…err, Cullen…Isabella's…"

_Oh God, what am I to her? Her professor? Her friend? Her lover?_

"Hey Edward," she said cheerfully. "What can I do for you on this fine day?"  
She didn't seem at all surprised that I was calling her on the phone which I thought was very odd.

"I need your help," I admitted. "I'm making Isabella dinner tonight and I was wondering if you know what her favorite food is? I want it to be nice for her because she has such a hard day today."

"EEEEEE!"

_What the hell?_

"Oh my God, you are just the cutest!" Alice gushed after she had recovered from her fit.

"Um, thank you?"

"I knew that you were good for Bella the second I met you," she confided. "I love being right!"

I didn't know how to respond to that so I just asked her about Isabella's preferred food again.

"Well, I don't know if it's her favorite but she's tried to make lasagna quite a few times."

"Tried?" I asked.

"Yeah, you wouldn't think you could ruin something like that but Bella sure can," she laughed. "It was either really soggy or the noodles were undercooked."

"Oh, she did mention that she wasn't much of a cook," I said, although Isabella had used a cruder expression for her lack of skills in the kitchen.

_But she sure can make a turkey sandwich! Mmm…Great, now I'm hungry. _

"That's an understatement," Alice chuckled. "I can't tell you how many times Rose and I had to try her stuff before she finally gave up."

"Do you know how to cook?" I asked curiously.

"I'm decent," she said. "Not great like you with your fancy Italian chicken or anything like that, but it's edible."

"Oh, she told you about that?" I asked feeling a little stunned that Isabella had mentioned my cooking to her friends.

"There isn't much she hasn't told us," Alice said. "Frankly, we're getting a little sick of hearing about you."  
_Oh my God!_

"R-Really?" I asked.

I was grinning so widely I was sure that I looked like a caricature.

"Yes," Alice said simply. "She likes you."  
"I like her too," I said, feeling very gossipy all of a sudden. "So lasagna is the way to go?"

"That's a good choice," she agreed.

"Which kind should I make? Does Isabella like sausage?"

Alice laughed hysterically.

"What?" I asked.

"Don't you know the answer already?" she chuckled.

_What is she talking about? How would I know…if…Oh, come on!_

"Real mature," I sighed, which only made Alice start laughing again.

"Goodbye Alice, thank you for your help," I said.

"Sorry Edward," she gasped. "I think I'm sleep deprived here. My sense of humor is usually a little more sophisticated. Ok, that was a lie. Good luck with dinner, not that you'll need it. I have a good feeling about the two of you."

"Thank you," I said sincerely before hanging up.

I needed to get to the store immediately if I wanted everything to be ready by the time that Isabella arrived and I didn't want her to wait on dinner tonight. While I was grocery shopping I thought about how I might entertain Isabella tonight. She would probably be a little sad after having spent the entire day going through her grandfather's belongings and also tired since she hadn't been sleeping well before last night. I decided that I would suggest a movie for us to watch since that was relaxing and I knew that she enjoyed films. I remembered Alice's lame joke. Was that really the kind of humor that young people enjoyed? I thought that a comedy might be good for tonight's viewing and decided to stop by the video store afterwards since I didn't have a lot of those in my collection.

When I came home I started making the lasagna which was a recipe with minced meat and Italian sausage that I had found online a while ago, and Emmett had thoroughly enjoyed it the time that I had made it. It took a while to prepare but it was worth it in my opinion. I also made a simple salad to go with it and tiramisu for dessert. I was thankful for my many years of cooking which enabled me to make a nice meal for Isabella with very little difficulty.

While the lasagna was cooking I grabbed a quick shower and changed into a simple white t-shirt and the jeans that Jasper had made me buy. I set the table, lit a few candles and put on the Leonard Cohen CD that Isabella had picked out the last time she had dinner here. I was surprised to discover that while I was excited to see her, I wasn't very nervous about her coming over. It felt so natural all of a sudden. Like she was just supposed to be here with me. I was opening a bottle of red wine when the doorbell rang and a surge of excitement rushed through me.

_She's here! God, I've missed her!_

I practically skipped to the door and pulled it open with a smile on my face. Isabella was standing outside looking like she had been through one hell of an ordeal. She was pale and her shoulders were tense.

"Hi," she said quietly and walked inside.

She hung her coat, put her bag on the floor and I ushered her inside with my hand resting on her lower back.

"Dinner is almost ready," I said. "And I rented us a ridiculous-looking comedy to watch afterward. We should just relax tonight. You've had a rough day."

She looked up at me and burst into tears.

_Oh no! Did I say something wrong?_

"We don't have to watch it," I said quickly.

She leaned her forehead against my chest and I took that as an invitation to hug her to me. She wrapped her arms around me immediately and sobbed quietly while I stroked her hair.

"I'm sorry," she said after a few minutes. "It sounds great. Really, it does."

"Then why are you crying?" I asked softly and kissed the top of her head.

"You shouldn't be so nice to me," she sniffed.

"Why not?" I asked.

I made her look up at me and wiped under her eyes with my thumbs.

"I might get used to it," she whispered and she looked so scared when she said it.

"I want you to. I'm not going anywhere," I murmured and bent down to kiss her softly.

She clung to me and kissed me back almost desperately. Her hands went under my shirt, caressing my skin while she kept kissing me frantically.

_We shouldn't do this now. She's upset._

I pulled back and stilled her hands gently.

"Sorry," she whispered.

I shook my head and kissed her slowly and lightly.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm ok," she sighed. "Sorry for attacking you like that. I don't really know how to do…this."

I wasn't sure what she was referring to when she said 'this'. Did she mean grieve for her grandfather or maybe, just maybe, that we were more than simply sex-buddies and this was as new to her as it was to me?

"No more apologies," I said and gave her a smile. "Are you hungry?"  
"Starving," she said and returned the smile. "It smells really good."

I poured her a glass of wine and carried the food to the table. Her eyes widened when she saw the tray with lasagna.

"Wow, that looks great," she said. "Did you make it yourself?"

"Yes. Sit down and have some."

She filled her plate and I smiled when I saw her blowing vigorously on her forkful because she was so eager to taste it.

"Oh my God!" she moaned. "This is incredible."

"Thank you. I'm really glad that you like it," I said.

"Like it? I fucking love it!" she exclaimed. "This is so good."

I was thrilled that she enjoyed the food and that it had been able to cheer her up.

"I can teach you how to make it sometime?" I offered.

Her face lit up.

"Really? That would be awesome. Just don't be too disappointed if I can't learn. You're a great teacher. I just really suck at cooking."

"I'm sure you'll do fine," I said with a smile.

We ate dinner and talked about Isabella's finals which she was stressing over. It worried me that she put so much pressure on herself and I wanted to make things easier on her.

"It's a good thing you make man-size portions," she grinned. "I need to load up on some real food before the madness ensues."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I won't have time to go out for dinner and stuff," she explained.

She hesitated and looked at me.

"And there won't really be any time for you either, I'm afraid," she added.

_NO! I won't get to see her at all? Unacceptable!_

"You could stay here!" I said, obviously having completely lost my mind at the thought of not seeing her during finals.

She did look at me like I was crazy.

"What? I couldn't do that, Edward," she protested softly.

_That's not a definite 'no'._

"Well, why not?" I asked, as I was really starting to realize the potential in the plan. "I don't have much going on anyway and you can have my office. You'd get three square meals a day and you wouldn't have to worry about going out to eat or you know, starve as the alternative. And I could help you if you needed it."

She was still staring at me like I was a loon but she was also smiling a little.

"But what would you get out of it?" she asked.

"Well…I, uh…Um, I would get to see you every day and I…like having you, um, here," I managed to stammer.

"I like being here," she said with a smile. "And you _are _an awesome cook."

"So…Is that a yes?" I asked nervously.

"Yes, if you really don't mind me crashing your perfect apartment," she answered and motioned around my place. "I'm a little messy, you know."

_She said yes! She said yes? Why on earth did she agree to this?_

I couldn't believe it. Isabella had actually agreed to stay with me while she was doing her finals. What had changed that she was now so willing to let me into her life? I had no idea, but I was completely ecstatic at the prospect of having her here for more than a week. She was smiling at me and I realized that I hadn't answered her last question.

"N-no," I spluttered. "I don't mind at all."

_I will take her! Mess included and everything. Wow, I think I'm growing as a person. Or it could just be the love talking. Either way, she is definitely staying! _

Isabella smiled widely and dug into her food again. She really was a pleasure to cook for and I looked forward to doing it many, many times in the near future.

After dinner we had our dessert with coffee and watched the comedy that I had rented. I had been right in my first assessment of it when I assumed that it was ridiculous. I mean, who goes to Las Vegas for a bachelor party and accidentally loses the groom? But Isabella seemed to enjoy it and it made her laugh so I was more than happy with the outcome. Towards the end of the movie she started yawning and moved closer to me on the couch. Hesitantly I lifted my arm and looked at her. She seemed to deliberate for a second before she put her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her waist. My heart pounded in my chest when I felt her lace our fingers.

_God, I love her!_

She pressed the side of her face against my chest for a few seconds and looked up at me.

"Your heart is beating really fast," she whispered.

I swallowed thickly and nodded while I brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. Her eyes were unreadable as she lifted our joined hands and placed my palm over her left breast. I jumped a little when I felt her heart racing like a...analogies failed me. Needless to say, her heart was beating just as rapidly as mine.

_She feels something too! _

"So is yours," I murmured.

She nodded and gazed up at me. She looked so vulnerable all of a sudden and I cupped her face with my free hand. I brushed my lips against hers and she sighed at the contact.

"Edward?" she whispered.

"Mmm?"

"Do you mind if we don't do anything tonight?"

"Will you still sleep in my bed with me?" I asked. "Can I hold you?"

"Yes," she breathed out.

"Then I don't mind at all," I said and kissed her gently.

That night both of us wore our pajamas and I held her and stroked her hair until she fell asleep in my arms. It was the best night of my somewhat long life, and now that Isabella was here with me I had a feeling that there would be many other great nights to choose from in the future. I might even have to start a top ten list or something like that. I smiled at the thought and held her tighter.

"Edward," she mumbled. "Don't leave."

I wasn't sure if she was asleep or awake but I answered her just the same.

"I won't, Isabella. I promise."

She sighed contently and I smiled even wider. Life had never felt more wonderful and that night I dreamed of walking down the street with Isabella's hand in mine for all the world to see.

**All together now: AW! :)**

**Isabella is staying with Edward. How will that work out when messy meets anal-retentive? Does love conquer all? Even clutter? **

**I hope you enjoyed the smut/fluff.**

**Leave me a review if you did and you want even more. Thanks! **


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Thank you for all your lovely reviews. It seems that a lot of you are loving this story because it works as an antidote to all the angsty stuff out there. :)**

**And I cannot forget to thank my beta eternal, Melanie who is just amazing. I think I may have developed a little girl-crush on her. ;)**

**Enjoy the smutty fun and slightly mortifying ending to the aforementioned smutty fun…**

EPOV

I was in heaven. Waking up with Isabella this morning had been beyond wonderful despite the fact that we hadn't even had sex. She made a quick trip to her apartment to collect her books and clothes that she needed while she was staying. When she came back she helped me make breakfast as best she could even though she managed to burn the bacon a little. In all fairness it was probably partly my fault because I kept distracting her with kisses and somewhat accidental touching of her breasts. And I may have rubbed up against her from behind just a little. Finally, she told me in her usual colorful way to either back off or do something about it. Since she seemed like she was starving I opted for keeping my hands to myself. I didn't mind since we had a great breakfast where we read the paper together and I kept stealing kisses and touches every chance I got.

Now, I was sitting on the couch reading a book while Isabella was working on a paper in my office. We were having lunch together in an hour and I was already looking forward to seeing her again. The thought that she was just two doors away made me giddy with happiness. She was really here to stay! I had just jumped back into my novel when the door opened and Isabella sauntered in slowly. She was wearing a really short checkered skirt that I had always hated on her. Now I realized that it was probably just frustration because I was never able to touch her amazing legs or enticing backside which looked phenomenal in the aforementioned skirt.

"Shouldn't you be studying?" I asked and lowered my book.

She gave me an innocent smile and walked aimlessly around the room picking up objects at random and putting them down again.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I'm just feeling a little…tense."

"Oh, I can give you a massage?" I suggested. "I don't know if I'll be any good at it, though."

"You will? Thank you," she said softly.

My heart rate sped up when she pulled her t-shirt over her head and removed her bra.

_Control yourself. It's not like you haven't seen her breasts before!_

_But I've never seen them in my living room before. She should definitely be naked in here more often!_

She gave me a smile and dropped the clothes unceremoniously on the floor before taking my hand and pulling me with her towards the bedroom.

She climbed on the bed and crawled towards the center slowly. Naturally, my eyes fell on her backside again and I gasped when I could clearly see that she wasn't wearing any panties. She looked over her shoulder at me and bit her bottom lip. Then she lowered herself down on her stomach with her legs spread widely. I could see everything. _Everything!_

I was already hard as granite and throbbing uncontrollably.

"Isabella," I choked out in a strangled voice. "What are you doing?"

"Getting ready for my massage, of course," she said innocently but I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Where are you…um, tense?" I gulped.

"You're a smart boy. Figure it out," she half-laughed and lifted her hips a little to give me an even better view.

I approached her slowly and crawled onto the bed behind her. I ran my hands up her calves and sighed when I felt her warm skin. She must have shaved her legs when she showered at her place because her legs were completely smooth and silky. I gently massaged her legs moving further and further up until I reached the hem of her skirt.

"H-higher?" I asked.

"Mmm…Much higher," she sighed and lifted her hips of the mattress.

I pulled up her skirt and made a moaning sound when I saw her arousal glistening on her bare lips.

"God, you're so wet," I whispered.

"Because of you," she said.

"Me?"

"Yes! You're such a tease. You rub up against me and touch me all morning. You can't just grab my tits and kiss my neck without following through on it. I was about ready to burst after breakfast and you just told me to go study."

"I…"

_I'm a tease?_

"You put on those sexy glasses and looked all stern and professor-like. Then you sent me into your office like I was getting punished. You have no idea how hot that was, do you?"

"No," I said in amazement. "It made you…"

I grazed her lips with my fingertips and swallowed a few times.

"It made me so fucking horny," she groaned candidly. "I love it when you get all strict with me. Please touch me!"

I spread her folds gently and ran my index finger up and down the length of her sex. When I rubbed her clit she arched her back and whimpered.

"Please don't tease me anymore," she begged. "Make me come."

I loved that she was so confidant and sure of herself that she was comfortable playing a game like this with me. I had no idea that she had been so affected by my touches this morning, and I certainly didn't know that I had inadvertently teased her by telling her to go study. I didn't really know what came over me, but if teasing her had made her this aroused I figured that a little more would only add to her excitement.

"I really shouldn't," I murmured and gently traced over her swollen clitoris. "You're not behaving like a good student."

"Oh fuck," she gasped. "Please, Professor."

"Well, since you're asking so nicely…"

I pushed two fingers inside her and used my other hand to rub her clit with my thumb.

"Yes!" she cried out and moved her hips to get more of my fingers inside her. "Please fuck me, Edward!"

"I just wanted this to be for you," I said softly.

I hadn't expected this little massage to turn into sex. All I had wanted was to make her feel good.

"Do it for me then," she moaned. "I need your cock inside me. Please!"

_Okay!_

I removed my t-shirt and pulled down my pants and boxers while Isabella lifted her hips and I saw her slip her hand down her front to rub her clit. The sight of her spread out before me while she pleasured herself made my erection even harder and without a second thought I grabbed her hips and buried myself in her warm wet heat.

_Jesus fucking Christ!_

"Fuck…Isabella," I moaned. "Is it ok?"  
I hadn't given her any sort of warning before entering her and I wanted to make sure that she was alright before doing anything else.

"It's so good! I love your big cock!"

Masculine pride surged through me at the sound of her words and I started thrusting eagerly in and out of her. She writhed and moaned beneath me, calling out both various expletives and my name over and over. The combination drove me wild and I loved the knowledge that the pleasure she felt was because of me. I grabbed her buttocks and pounded into her. She cried out and I was suddenly worried that I had been too rough with her.

"Are you ok?" I asked and stilled my movements.

"Yes, please don't stop! I'm so close, Edward. Harder!"

_Harder? I can do harder!_

I lay down on top of her and pinned her hands above her head. Then I pushed into her, rougher than I normally would have.

"You want it hard?" I rasped in her ear.

She shivered and pushed her hips back against me.

"Yes, please fuck me, Edward!"

I took her like a complete savage, pounding into her harder and harder while I held her down. I had no idea why I liked doing this so much. Okay, I definitely knew why, if I was being honest. I wanted her to be mine and claiming her like this felt unbelievably good. She owned my heart completely and while I was still unsure of her heart, there was no doubt that I owned her body in this moment and she was under my power. The pleasure she was getting was because of me and I wanted it to be like that always.

"Edward, please," she whimpered. "I need my hand."

_Why? Oh, she needs to touch herself. Not when I'm here!_

"No!" I growled and moved her wrists together so I would be able to hold both of them with my left hand.

I trailed my right hand down the side of her body and slipped it in between her legs.

"You need _my_ touch, right, mine?" I asked.

"Yes, yes," she nodded vigorously. "Please make me come, Edward."

"Anything for you," I breathed against her ear and bit the lobe.

I rubbed her clit vigorously and it only took three long hard thrusts before I felt her clamp down around me and scream out my name in her climax.

"Edward! Oh fuck, Edward!"

"That's right," I panted. "**I'm **making you come, aren't I? **I'm** making you feel good, right Isabella? Just me - only me."

"Yes, oh God yes," she whimpered as she came down from her orgasm.

I slowed down my thrusts and enjoyed the exquisite feeling of her beneath me and all around me. She was still breathing fast and made soft moans whenever I pushed into her. I wanted her to come again before I allowed myself to finish and pulled her up on all fours. Isabella surprised me by pushing me back until she was straddling my thighs and sitting upright on me. She raised herself up and slid back down on me. My eyes rolled back and I moaned loudly. I was in so deep like this and it felt incredible.

"Isabella!" I gasped and cupped her breasts in my hands. "You're amazing!"

Immediately I understood why she had chosen this position. It allowed for very deep penetration and I was able to touch her everywhere while she controlled the movements.

_This is brilliant!_

I latched onto her neck with my mouth and pinched her nipples harder than usual. It made her groan and she slammed down on my length which in turn made me gasp.

"I'm not the only one who likes it a bit rough," she moaned. "You like it too, don't you, Professor?"

"Fuck yes," I confirmed, far too aroused to care about my crude language. "I love it. I love being inside of you and I love taking you like this."

I grabbed her hips and brought her down on me repeatedly. She was so light and I was able to control her body easily despite the fact that she was on top. I liked that a lot and judging by Isabella's cries of pleasure so did she.

"You like it when I'm controlling you, don't you?" I panted in her ear.

"Oh yes!" she moaned immediately.

I had no idea where this was coming from but I felt compelled to take matters even further, feeling convinced that both of us would enjoy it immensely.

"I want you to touch yourself," I said.

"Where?" she asked breathlessly.

_Where indeed? Where do I want her hands?_

I didn't feel confidant enough to say the actual words and instead I brought her hands up to her breasts.

"Tell me, please," she begged.

_She likes it when I talk to her?_

"Your…tits," I whispered in her ear.

"Fuck, yes," she moaned. "Keep talking, baby."

_Wow! She does like it!_

"I…I want you to play with your …nipples for me, Isabella," I said hesitantly.

She threw her head back and rotated her hips on me while she touched herself. I wished that I could see what she was doing and brought my hands up to cover hers.

"Let me feel," I whispered and removed her hands.

Her nipples were hard and she groaned when I pulled them.

"Good girl," I whispered and kissed her neck.

"Edward! Fuck, you're so hot!" she moaned loudly. "Please keep talking to me."

Hearing how much she loved this made me finally overcome the last ounce of shyness I might have felt about saying dirty things to her. She loved it and I certainly did as well, so in my logical mind it really didn't make any sense not to do it.

"I'm going to touch your clit now, but you can't come until I say so."

"W-what are you going to do to me if I do?" she gasped.

"What do you think?" I whispered in her ear because truthfully I didn't have a clue.

I was making this up as I went along and I hoped that Isabella wouldn't mind that I was so inexperienced with this kind of sex.

"Will you spank me for being bad?" She asked breathlessly and rotated her hips on me.

_Spank her? What on earth have I gotten myself into here?_

_Will you stop over-thinking this and answer the woman! You love her and if she wants a spanking you will give it to her!_

"Yes," I growled and started to circle her clit with my middle finger. "But that won't be necessary. You _will_ behave!"

"Yes!" she nodded emphatically.

"Move on me and touch your beautiful tits," I said softly and licked the shell of her ear.

"Yes, Edward. I'll do whatever you say," she answered immediately.

My erection became impossibly harder inside her at the sound of her words. She would do whatever I asked of her! Her trust in me and the power she granted was intoxicating. Suddenly I had the urge to tie her up and give her a spanking because I knew she desired it. I wanted to fulfill all her fantasies and erotic dreams.

"Someday soon I'm going to tie you up and spank you, Isabella," I rasped in her ear. "You're a bad girl who should be studying right now."

"Oh, Edward! Edward!" she shouted. "Please let me come!"

I massaged her clit harder and faster while she bounced up and down on me, and it took every ounce of my control not to come immediately.

"Will you be a good girl and study if I let you?" I panted.

"Yes, I swear!"

"Then come for me, Isabella. Scream my name!"

I bit down on her shoulder and pinched her clit.

"EDWARD!" she yelled.

I pushed her forward on her hands and knees roughly, grabbed her hips and pounded into her with reckless abandon while she kept screaming my name. It was wild, savage and nothing had ever felt better. My orgasm completely took my breath away and the delicious contractions that her climax created prolonged mine for what seemed like an eternity. I was vaguely aware of the fact that I roared out her name but all I could focus on were the mind-blowing sensations flowing through my body.

I collapsed on top of her, panting and shaking just like she was at that moment.

"Holy shit," she gasped. "What the hell was that, Edward?"

"I don't know," I said breathlessly. "But I loved it."

"So did I. You were in control, so amazing…"

"Edward?" I heard a voice calling from somewhere.

My entire body froze. Someone was in the apartment!

"Who the fuck is that?" Isabella whispered frantically beneath me.

"Shhh," I said and pulled out of her.

"Are you alright? We heard screaming."

I recognized the voice and my blood turned cold.

_Fuck! It's my father!_

"I'm alright!" I called out, completely panicked. "Don't come in here! I'll be right out!"

Isabella rolled over on her back and quickly covered herself with the duvet.

"It's my dad," I whispered.

"Your father?" she shrieked and sat up.

"Don't worry, he won't come in here," I whispered, all the while praying that I was right.

I jumped out of bed, closed the door and started dressing frantically while Isabella watched me with an expression that was somewhere in between amused and panicked.

"What are you doing here?" I shouted while I tried to remember how one worked buttons.

The task suddenly seemed impossible.

"We're here for lunch," my father said. "You invited us, remember?"

_I did? Wait. 'We?' My mother is here! Oh fuck! I am so dead!_

I wanted to kill myself for being such a gargantuan idiot. I had completely forgotten that my parents were supposed to come over today. In all my excitement it had slipped my mind and now I had to face the fact that my idiocy was the reason why Isabella looked like a deer caught in the headlight.

"Edward," she whispered. "My clothes are on the living room floor. They know you have a girl in here."

"Either that, or they think you're a cross-dresser," she added with wide eyes.

_I honestly can't decide which option is less embarrassing…_

I certainly wasn't embarrassed about Isabella but having my parents almost walk in on me having sex was just about the most mortifying experience of my life.

"Oh God," I groaned.

Isabella climbed out of bed and pulled various items of clothes out of her bag.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"I'm getting dressed," she said quickly. "I can't very well leave naked."

"You're leaving?" The desperation in my voice was evident and yet I couldn't bring myself to care. Isabella looked like she was getting ready to run and I couldn't let her.

"Please don't go. I'm so sorry!"

"I have to," she half-whispered and yanked her clothes on. "I can't meet your parents like this."

Her eyes were as big as saucers and filled with panic.

"Isabella, please," I begged quietly.

"Edward, I can't. They're your parents. They're important to you."

"You're important, too," I said immediately and took her hands.

Her eyes softened.

"I'll send them away," I offered.

"No!" she said immediately. "You should spend time with them. They're your mom and dad."

She looked very sad all of a sudden and I was reminded of the terrible fact that Isabella's parents were no longer alive.

_God, I don't even know what happened to them! I'm a terrible…Friend? Lover?_

"Look, I'm going to leave," she said and let go of my hands. "I'm already messing up your life."

"No!" I said and held onto her shoulders. "Please don't go. You aren't messing up anything -I want you here."

"Edward," she sighed. "Your parents just heard me come, for fuck's sake. I can't have lunch with them. There's no way."

"You don't have to. Come back later. Please?"

She looked at me for what seemed like a really long time and finally nodded. I breathed out in relief and pulled her against my chest.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I completely forgot that I was having lunch with them today. I never meant to put you in that position, I swear."

"Well, at least they didn't see the other position you put me in," she said and motioned to the bed with a half-smile.

I was extremely relieved that she was able to joke at a time like this and that she didn't seem angry about my monumental screw-up.

"Are you ready?" I asked, all the while wondering if _I_ was.

"Believe me, if you had a fire escape I would so be climbing out of your window to get out of doing this," she groaned. "Yeah, let's go."

I looked at her and immediately knew that this was a horrible idea. With her short skirt, band t-shirt and loose hair Isabella looked like a teenager. And I suddenly felt like a dirty old man. Dressed like this my parents wouldn't see the confidant woman who I loved. They would see a seemingly impressionable young girl who was sleeping with her professor. This could only end badly. I was about to say something when she opened the door and walked out of the bedroom with a determined look on her face. I had no choice but to follow her.

My parents were talking in hushed voices in the living room and Isabella's face lit up when she saw a possible undetected escape for her. Then of course my parents walked out and almost bumped into us.

_Awesome. We should have tied some sheets together and escaped through the window!_

I stared at my parents and they stared at Isabella. My mother looked somewhere between horrified and shocked. My father looked somewhere between shocked and…proud?

_What the hell?_

I cleared my throat and their eyes snapped to me. My mother looked like she was ready to keel over and my father was wearing just a hint of a smirk on his face that I really didn't understand.

"Mom, dad," I said. "I'd like you to meet Isabella."

"It's nice to meet you," she said hesitantly.

Neither of my parents responded and finally my father seemed to have recovered enough to remember his manners.

"It's nice to meet you too," he said warmly and reached out his hand.

Isabella shook it and my father elbowed my mother somewhat discretely to bring her out of her trance.

"Yes, nice to meet you," she said, with absolutely no warmth in her voice while she glared at Isabella.

_Thanks mom! _

"I should get going. Excuse me," Isabella mumbled and practically ran towards the hallway.

"Edward," my mother said.

"Isabella, wait," I called and followed her.

She was already halfway out the door with her sneakers untied on her feet and holding her jacket.

"Wait, wait," I said quietly and pulled her into my arms.

She sighed and wouldn't meet my eyes.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just can't really deal with anything family-related right now."  
"It's okay," I assured her and kissed the top of her head. "You'll be back later, right?"

_Please come back, please come back, Isabella!_

"I have no choice," she said and gave me a small smile. "You're keeping my laptop and books hostage, remember?"

I returned the smile and ran my fingers through her soft hair.

"Do you want me to get them? Do you need them?"

"I could use my laptop," she admitted. "I thought I might just go to a Starbucks and work on my paper for a little while."

"I'll go get it. Wait here, ok?"

She nodded and bent down to lace her shoes, and I walked back inside to get her computer from my office. My parents were talking quietly in the living room and when I passed by they stopped immediately. I got Isabella's messenger bag and put her laptop and a few books that she was using in it and passed my parents again on my way out to her in the hallway.

"Here you go," I said and handed it to her. "I kept a few of your books just to be on the safe side."

She didn't smile.

"You know I was just kidding, right?" I asked. "I mean, I won't force you to come back if you don't want to."

She shook her head lightly and surprised me by initiating a hug.

"I want to stay here with you," she said. "I just feel a little guilty about leaving you to face the firing squad alone."

I felt a huge sense of relief when she said that she wanted to stay here with me. But sitting down with my parents after everything they had probably heard wasn't something I was about to subject her to.

"You should go," I encouraged and rubbed her shoulders lightly.

She was unbelievably tense and I suddenly understood just how uncomfortable and anxious this whole situation with my parents made her. The fact that she was reluctant to leave my side despite her level of discomfort made my heart jump. I couldn't interpret it in any other way than she must care for me as well. She still seemed hesitant to go and it made me feel warm all over.

"Isabella, you should go and relax," I said softly. "Have some coffee and maybe a cigarette."

She gave me an incredulous look and raised her eyebrows.

"Now you're encouraging me to smoke?"

"It relaxes you," I said with a shrug. "Just have some chewing gum or something afterwards. I want to kiss you a lot, when you come back."

"Is that so?" she smiled. "When did you become so bold and demanding?"  
"I have no idea," I admitted. "But I quite like it."

"Mmm," she hummed. "I do too."

She stood up on her toes and kissed me gently. I sighed and wrapped my arms around her, wanting more of her. She parted her lips and I wasted little time in plunging my tongue into her mouth and giving her a searing kiss. I pulled back and kissed her lips softly three times.

_I. Love. You._

I wished that I could tell her how I felt but I felt convinced that it would only hurt my chances of becoming Isabella's boyfriend. I had to tread carefully around her and I couldn't afford to lose control just because I was dying to say 'I love you' out loud. We were making so much progress these days and I wasn't about to jeopardize that.

I picked up her bag and opened the door for her.

"Come back to me soon," I said, unable to stop myself.

She took her bag and pulled my face down for a sweet gentle kiss.

"I'll bring you back a cookie," she said with a smile.

"You might need something sweet after...that," she added and motioned towards my living room.

"I just need you to come back," I murmured.

"Are you saying that I'm sweeter than a cookie?" she chuckled.

"You're sweeter than anything or anyone," I said and held her face between my hands.

"Edward," she whispered and swallowed nervously.

_Oh God, I said too much! _

I tried to mask my mistake by leaning down to kiss her again. She kissed me back immediately, moaning softly and pressing herself against me. I pulled back reluctantly and she smiled up at me.

"I'll be back soon," she whispered. "I'll miss you."

Before I could respond she hurried out the door and down the street. I stood completely stunned by her remark for at least a minute.

_She'll miss me! _

When I couldn't see her anymore I closed the door and took a deep breath. Time to face the music. My parents were standing in the living room when I walked in. I had no idea what to say to them. Honestly, what on earth do you say when your parents have just walked in on you having loud incredible sex?

Awkwardly, I bent down and picked up Isabella's shirt and bra, and when I caught my father's eye he smiled a little at me.

"So that's the reason why you turned down Kate," my mother said sternly.

_What? That's what she's choosing to focus on? Kate?_

"Yes," I said, seeing no point in lying about it.

"What are you doing, Edward?" she asked. "That girl looks young enough to be one of your students."

My face flushed and my mother narrowed her eyes. Then her mouth popped open and she took a step back.

"You didn't," she said. "Tell me that she isn't your student, Edward."

"I can't," I said weakly.

"Edward!" she yelled. "How could you be so stupid? What about your career? What about ethics? Your life could be ruined if someone finds out!"

"You think I don't know that?" I shouted and ran my hands through my hair. "You think I set out planning on this?"

"Honestly," my mother scoffed. "This is the kind of thing I would have expected from Emmett. What are you doing with her?"

"Well, she's obviously very beautiful," my father said quietly.

My mother looked like she was ready to kill him.

"Men!" she growled. "Is that all you can think about? Edward, you need to end this. Right now! She can't stay here with you anymore."

"Excuse me?" I said slowly. "Last time I checked I was a grown man and this is _my_ house."

"You can't actually defend shacking up with her," my mother protested. "There are other things that are more important than…that."

She made a face and pointed towards my bedroom.

"You can't let your life be ruined by that…that little,"

"Careful," I growled, feeling convinced that my mother was about to call Isabella a very unpleasant name.

My mother sighed and scrubbed her face with her hands.

"I'm sorry," she said and looked up at me. "I'm sure she's a lovely girl but you can't have her staying here with you. Don't you see that?"

"Listen to me!" I thundered, feeling extremely angry and wanting to defend the woman I loved. "Isabella just buried her grandfather, her last remaining family member. She is all alone in the world, she has to take care of everything surrounding his death herself and on top of everything she has finals to worry about. She needs me and I want to take care of her! She's the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm just trying to make things a little easier on her. She can stay here for as long as she wants and that's final!"

I took a deep breath.

"And she _is_ a lovely girl. And yes, also my student. But my final class is tomorrow and then the semester is over for me. There's no conflict after that."

I took another calming breath.

"Look. I know that you're just worried about me but she needs me right now. She's all alone, mom. Her parents are dead and she doesn't have any siblings. She's been taking care of her grandfather and now he's gone too. I'm not letting her face all that alone."

My mother's features had softened considerably during my monologue and now she just looked sad.

"Oh, the poor dear," she said, frankly surprising the hell out of me. "And you said she was taking care of him?"

"Yes, he had Alzheimer's," I sighed. "It was very hard on her."

"I'm so sorry," my father offered. "Please give Isabella our condolences."

"Thank you, I will."

"So you're really serious about her?" he asked.

I nodded and sat down on the couch.

"As a heart attack," I said, using one of Isabella's expressions from class.

"How old is she?" he asked curiously.

My mother made a sound and rolled her eyes at my father.

"She's twenty-two," I answered.

"Well, at least she's legal," my mother muttered.

I shot her a look.

"Sorry," she said and sat down on the opposite end of the couch. "This is something of a shock."

"It was for me too," I said. "I've never met anyone like her before and I never expected to fall for her."

"And does she feel the same way about you?" she asked.

"I don't know," I admitted. "Isabella is very…gun-shy about relationships. I'm trying to win her over."

"I'm sure us barging in on you didn't help," my father said regretfully. "I'm really sorry. We heard…uh, noises. It sounded like,"

"Please don't say anything else!" I said and held up my hands.

The last thing I needed was my father giving me a description of said 'noises'.

"Sorry," he said.

"If you're really serious about her, I want to meet her again," my mother said in a very determined voice.

_Noooo!_

"I…I _really_ don't think that's the best idea," I said.

"Edward, I wasn't exactly polite to her before. I want to change that," she said. "You can bring her over for the 4th of July."

"She won't go," I said immediately. "I'm sure of it."

"I'm sure she will if you ask her nicely," my mother said as if the matter was resolved. "Or you can give me her number and I'll invite her myself."

"No!" I half-yelled. "I'll ask her."

_Wait, I will?_

"Good," she said with a smile. "We should get going. We can have lunch another time. I'm sure the two of you want to be alone right now. Carlisle?"

She stood up and my father grinned at me when she wasn't looking. I followed them out and my mother gave me a hug.

"Take care, dear," she said and kissed my cheek. "Give Isabella my best."

"Uh, I will," I said awkwardly, completely shocked by this turn of events.

"See you on the fourth, son," my father said with a smirk as they walked out.

I had almost closed the door when I heard my father laugh in the distance.

"I told you the boy wasn't gay. Pay up, dear!"

_Oh my God! My own mother!_

I shut the door completely and rested my forehead against the cool glass. How on earth was I going to invite Isabella to my parents' formal garden party without scaring her away completely?

_Is it too early for a drink? And maybe some Sinatra?_

**Ugh! The parents! Esme was a little bit bitchy, huh? Carlisle was just glad that his son was finally getting some. Well, at least they didn't cock-block them. I did give you a 'possibly cold shower inducing' lemon first. ;)**

**How did you like it? Will Isabella agree to celebrate the Fourth of July with Edward? So far her messiness hasn't bothered him. Will that continue? **

**Leave me a review. :) **


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews and to all of you who are rec'ing the story to your friends. **

**Melanie: I love you and I couldn't do this without you even if this particular chapter didn't require much beta work. You are always needed and wanted. :)**

**Lastly, and I have never done this before: I would recommend listening to The Flower Duet while reading the ending of the chapter. It will make all the difference.**

**www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=8Qx2lMaMsl8**

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

I spent the next two hours after my parents left trying to find a good way to ask Isabella about the Fourth of July party. Not surprisingly, I came up empty. Going to my parents' house for a party would definitely put our relationship in a category outside that of sex-buddies and move us dangerously close to boyfriend/girlfriend. I wanted us to belong to the latter category more than anything but I wasn't sure if this was the right time to take such a monumental step forward. Isabella was already stressing about finals and grieving for her grandfather. I feared that something like this might be too much for her to handle at the given time. And yet I wanted nothing more than to enter my parents' house with her hand in mine, showing that she was with me and I was with her.

My phone beeped and I picked it up.

'Is the coast clear? :)'

I wrote back immediately.

'Yes, come home!'

I realized too late that I had just referred to my apartment as 'home' and I hoped that it wasn't too much.

'I'll be home in ten minutes with cookies and a kiss for you.'

_That has got to be the best text message ever written!_

My stomach fluttered like crazy and my heart beat rapidly in my chest. I could hardly sit still while I waited for her to return to me. I heard the door open and this made me ridiculously happy. She didn't knock or ring the bell, but simply walked in as if she truly lived here with me. I jumped up and met her in the hallway where she was hanging up her jacket. She had only just put her messenger bag on the floor before I was all over her, kissing her like I hadn't seen her in days rather than hours. She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me back just as passionately until we had to pull apart to breathe.

"Wow," she panted into my neck. "That's quite a welcome."

"I missed you," I whispered and kissed her softly.

"I missed you too," she said and smiled with her eyes closed.

She took my hand and led us into the living room where we sat down on the couch.

"So," she said, and pulled out a bag of cookies for me. "Do your parents hate me for corrupting their son?"

"No!" I said immediately. "No, not at all."

She raised her eyebrows at me.

"Really?" she said skeptically.  
"My, uh, my dad was a little…proud, I think," I said and fidgeted with the bag.

She laughed and shook her head.

"Glad his son scored a young piece of ass. Your old man's cool."

"Thanks, I guess," I said awkwardly.

She smiled and leaned into my side.

"So what did your mom say?" she asked. "Do I even want to know?"

"She wants you to come to their Fourth of July garden party," I blurted out.

_NO! That was definitely NOT the way to ask her. God, I am an idiot!_

"She what?" Isabella asked slowly. "A _garden_ party? Do people even have those outside the movies?"

"Every year," I sighed.

"Wow," she said. "Your family is like from a different time."

_Possibly true. She still hasn't said no, though._

"So…what do you think?" I asked anxiously.

She blinked.

"About what?"

"The, um, party. Do you want to go?"

_Oh, real smooth. What happened to asking her nicely?_

"Are you going?" she asked and narrowed her eyes slightly.

"I think I have to," I admitted.

_Now ask her properly and do not say 'um'!_

"Um, Isabella,"

_Moron!_

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. Why was I so nervous? The worst thing that could happen was that she would say no and it wouldn't change anything between us. But deep down I knew that wasn't true. I wanted her to come with me, if not as my girlfriend then at least as my date. But if she turned me down it would make it painfully clear that we were still just casual sex-buddies in Isabella's mind, and that would break my heart a little.

I took a deep breath and tried again. I held her hands in mine and looked into her eyes.

"Isabella, I would be honored if you would accompany me to my parents' garden party. It will be boring and formal, but if you're there with me I won't even notice. You're smart, funny and beautiful and I love spending time with you. Please come with me?"

"Okay," she said with a small smile and took a bite of one of the cookies.

"Holy shit! Really?"

I clamped my hand over my mouth. I wasn't accustomed to the sound of my swearing and I wasn't comfortable doing it. At least not outside the bedroom. During sex it was oddly gratifying and something of an aphrodisiac.

"Sure," she shrugged. "If it really means that much to you I can schmooze with a few WASPs over cocktails. Plus I'd like your mother to get a better impression of me."

_Oh God, I love her!_

My lips were on hers instantly and my hands were buried in her hair. She made a surprised sound but kissed me back after a few seconds. When she parted her soft lips I slid my tongue into her mouth. She tasted like chocolate from the cookie and I couldn't get enough of her. I groaned when her tongue massaged mine and I felt her small hands on my shoulders pulling me closer to her. After a few minutes I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her softly three times which was my way of saying 'I love you'.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"No problem," she said with a beautiful smile. "I should get back to work."

"Yeah, you should go study," I agreed. "I'll come get you when dinner's ready."

She sighed and leaned in to kiss me quickly.

"You're too good to be true, Mr. Cullen."

"That's Professor Cullen to you, Miss Swan," I growled playfully and grabbed her backside.

"Oh God," she whispered. "Don't start. I have to study. Maybe we can do something tonight."

"Sorry," I murmured and kissed her lips. "Go. I won't distract you anymore."

She stood up and grinned.

"Please," she said and motioned to me with her hand. "Just knowing that you're out here looking like that is more than enough to distract me. But I'll go anyway and try not to think about your fine ass or any of your other attributes."

She smiled over her shoulder and walked out, her hips swaying sensually with each step she took.

_And she thinks that I'm a tease?_

I kept myself busy and tried not to think about Isabella sitting in my office in her short skirt. When she took a shower before dinner I did my best not to imagine her naked body with warm water cascading down it. And finally during dinner I made every effort not to think about Isabella's lips wrapped around a hard, throbbing part of my anatomy even though it was nearly impossible whenever she took a bite of her grilled chicken. She ate it with her fingers and licked them repeatedly much to my viewing pleasure and torture. The entire meal had seemed like a long session of foreplay and after dinner when Isabella suggested a movie I knew that I had no intention of actually watching it.

Soon we were seated on the couch and her eyes were glued to the screen. We were watching 'The Hunger,' a very visual and sensual movie about vampires. Isabella had never seen it before and she was completely engrossed in it. I, on the other hand, was one hundred percent focused on the beautiful girl next to me. I didn't even bother to pretend to be watching the movie. I kissed her neck and placed my hand on her naked thigh after waiting for all of fifteen minutes. As the movie progressed my advances became more urgent and I licked her ear while I brushed my fingertips over her breast. Isabella turned away from the screen for a second and gave me a look. Since she didn't object I saw no reason to stop. I merely smiled and trailed soft kisses down her neck.

"Turning a movie into a make out session? God Edward, this is like high school," Isabella sighed.

I snorted. It was painfully obvious that my high school experience differed greatly from Isabella's in terms of encounters with the opposite sex.

"What?" she asked and put her hand on the back on my neck.

"I never did this in high school," I admitted and hid my face in her soft t-shirt.

"You never had sex?" she asked and massaged my scalp gently.

I looked up at her.

"Isabella, I never even kissed a girl until college."

Her eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Why?"

I shrugged.

"I was so shy and nervous that I probably would have vomited if a girl even touched me back then."

"Poor baby," she said softly and brushed her lips against mine. "Well, feel free to make up for lost time with me. Let's pretend that we're seventeen and all alone in your parents' house. What do you want to do with me?"

_Oh God, the possibilities!_

"Are you sure?" I whispered.

She nodded and smiled before turning her eyes back to the screen. I stared at her and tried to wrap my mind around the scenario that she had created at the drop of a hat. She certainly looked the part of a seventeen year old in her denim skirt and t-shirt. Her hair was in a ponytail and her face was clean. She was gorgeous, young and deceptively innocent-looking. Why on earth she wanted me I would never understand. I wasn't about to let that stop me, though. The fantasy that she had just offered me on a silver platter was far too enticing to pass up.

I kissed her neck again and placed my hand on her knee. Isabella shifted a little in her seat but she didn't say anything. I decided to go further. I dipped my face down and nuzzled her breasts gently all the moving my hand up her thigh.

"Edward," she whispered. "What are you doing?"

"I'm touching you," I mumbled.

"W-why?" she stammered, very convincingly.

"Because I like you," I said and stared into her eyes. "Don't you like me?"

"Yes," she said softly. "I've liked you all year."

I leaned in and kissed her softly. I swept the tip of my tongue across her bottom lip but Isabella kept her mouth firmly closed.

"Open your mouth a little," I said.

She pulled back and looked at me wide-eyed.

"Why?"

"I want to kiss you properly," I said with a grin.

_Being the experienced one is fun!_

"Ok," she said and closed her eyes before she parted her lips.

I kissed her again and when my tongue touched hers she moaned softly. I brought my hand up to tilt her head slightly so I was able to deepen the kiss and gently cupped her breast with my other hand. When I swept my thumb over her nipple Isabella gasped and pulled her mouth away from mine.

"Edward," she said and looked down. "I've never done anything like that before."

_Fuck, she's good!_

"It's ok," I assured her. "I won't do anything you don't want me to."

She looked up at me and smiled a little.

"Maybe if we just do stuff on top of the clothes?" she asked carefully.

"That's fine," I said immediately.

I was getting really, _really_ excited about this. I would get to play the experienced guy who slowly seduced the virgin. If Isabella hadn't suggested this I never would have thought of it myself but now I realized just much I wanted that experience.

"Can I kiss you again?" I asked her.

She nodded shyly and looked at me with big innocent eyes.

"Yes, I liked that."

"I did too," I said and immediately kissed her.

I touched her breast again and this time she didn't protest. She placed her hands on my shoulders and moaned when I pinched her nipple gently. I kissed down her neck and I think I surprised her when I continued down to her breasts. Her nipples were already erect and I could clearly see then through the almost threadbare cotton of her old t-shirt. Well, she called it vintage. Right now, I called it perfect for my next move. I licked across her hardened peak before taking it into my mouth and sucking gently. Isabella gasped and arched her back.

"Edward," she sighed.

"Do you like that, sweetheart?"

I looked up at her and stuck out my tongue to trace over her nipple again.

"Yes," she nodded eagerly. "Just on top of the clothes, right?"

"Of course," I said, feeling completely convinced that I could get her to change that rule in a little while.

I licked her other nipple and took it between my lips to tug it gently. Her hands went in my hair and she moaned again when I sucked harder. Somehow, doing this through her t-shirt heightened my excitement. It really was as if we were young kids making out and I loved every second of it. I cupped both of her breasts in my hands and ran my thumbs over the wet fabric that covered her nipples while I kissed her passionately. Isabella responded by arching her back and pushing her breast into my hands. I pinched her nipples and bit her bottom lip gently.

I released her mouth and slid down on the floor in front of the couch. I put my hands on her knees and spread her legs slowly.

"Edward, I don't know if…we should," she said and tried to close them.

"Shh," I whispered. "You'll like this, I swear. Do you trust me?"

She nodded and hesitantly opened her legs. I lifted them and placed her feet on the coffee table giving me a great view of her panties. I rubbed her inner thighs slowly, moving my hands up until I grazed her covered sex with my fingers. Isabella's body jerked a little and she inhaled sharply as if it actually was the first time a guy touched her there. I gave her a reassuring smile and kissed her inner thigh softly until she relaxed again.

I lifted her skirt up but couldn't get it very far.

"Lift up," I said softly.

She complied and I moved her skirt up around her waist. She was wearing white lace panties which left very little to the imagination. I had no intention of merely imagining what Isabella looked like underneath, though. My innocent girl would submit to her desires soon enough. I put my hands next to her hips and leaned up to kiss her deeply. Then I trailed down and gave her nipples some attention before settling back on the floor. I moved my fingers over her lace-covered sex and felt how damp the fabric was already.

"Mmm," I hummed appreciatively. "You're wet, sweetheart."

"Oh God," she whispered and tried to close her legs as if she was embarrassed.

"No, don't," I said softly and looked up at her. "It's a good thing. It means that you like what I'm doing. You do like it, right?"

"Yes," she said.

"I can make you feel even better," I promised with a smile.

"How?" she asked curiously.

"I want to kiss you and touch you here," I said and rubbed my thumb over the spot where her clit was hidden underneath.

"Oh!" Isabella gasped and pressed herself against my thumb. "O-okay."

I smiled triumphantly and reached underneath her to grab her buttocks in my hands. Then I pulled her forward until she was at the edge of the couch and placed a soft kiss on the lace.

"Just relax and let me make you feel good," I whispered and looked up at her.

"Okay Edward," she said. "I trust you."

I smiled and nuzzled against the fabric that covered her. Then I dragged my tongue over it slowly and breathed warm air against her clit. Isabella was breathing faster and when I looked up I saw her watching me curiously.

"Do you like this?" I asked and stroked her through her panties.

She nodded eagerly.

"It will feel even better if…"

I watched her carefully and slowly slipped my thumb underneath and circled her naked sensitive flesh.

"Oh God," she gasped.

"Can I?" I asked and traced over her gently.

"You won't tell anyone?" she asked with wide eyes.

I stifled a laugh. She was really playing her role to perfection.

"No, I swear, Isabella. I like you a lot."

"I like you too, Edward," she said.

"So…Can I?" I asked again.

She took a deep breath and nodded. I gave her a smile and pulled her panties off slowly. I stared at her and licked my lips.

"Wow," I breathed out, remembering that I was supposed to be a teenage guy. "You look so hot. Why have you…"

I trailed off and caressed her bare lips.

"I, uh, I'm on the swim team," Isabella said with a triumphant smile, obviously happy about her quick thinking.

"Of course," I nodded. "I'm glad. I love your…pussy like this."

Her eyes widened and she suppressed a grin. Both she and I knew that I had never used that word before, and apparently she was happy about me doing so.

"You do?" she asked shyly.

"Mmm-hm," I hummed and leaned up to kiss her.

I plunged my tongue into her mouth, dominating the kiss completely and fondling her breasts at the same time.

"You have a beautiful body, Isabella," I told her. "I love all of it."

I licked the shell of her ear and whispered:

"But I especially love your pretty pink pussy. And now I'm going to show you how much."

Isabella nodded eagerly and I kissed her softly before turning my attention back between her legs. I took a few seconds to admire her. Isabella was the only women that I had ever looked at like this but that didn't matter at all. I was fully convinced that she was more beautiful than any other woman on the planet and I couldn't believe that I was the only one who got to see her magnificence. I licked her labia and spread her gently with my fingers. I had only done this once before but I had been very successful the last time. I licked her slowly up and down, circling her entrance but avoiding her clit completely because I knew that it would get her really worked up.

"Edward, please," she begged.

"Please, what?" I asked innocently and smiled up at her.

"Can you please lick me…higher?"

"Show me where," I said immediately.

"You want me to touch this myself?" she asked, disbelievingly.

"Do it for me?" I asked.

"Okay, anything for you, Edward," she said and smiled sweetly.

I knew that we were just playing a game but her words still made my heart soar. She was doing this fantasy for me and if possible I fell even more in love with her because of it.

"Here," she whispered and massaged her clit slowly.

"Keep doing that," I said and lowered my mouth.

I lapped at her arousal before slowly pushing my tongue inside her tight entrance. It was such an incredibly intimate gesture and the fact that she let me do it made me dizzy with pleasure and happiness.

"Oh, that feels so good," she moaned.

I withdrew and pulled on the hem of her t-shirt.

"I want to see all of you, Isabella."

She hesitated for a few seconds before she smiled and pulled it over her head.

"My God, you are so incredibly beautiful," I sighed and let my eyes roam over her.

I removed her skirt as well and ran my hands up and down her glorious body. She was completely naked and I was still fully dressed while kneeling between her parted legs. I truly felt like a seducer at that moment. I had awakened her body and undressed her like this. She was ready to feast on and I was ravenous. She was my conquest and I wanted her. All of her.

I growled and without further ado I buried my face between her legs, licking, sucking and nibbling on her sensitive flesh.

"Oh fuck, Edward!" she moaned, forgetting her character due to my aggressive attack.

"Do you like my mouth on your pussy?" I asked.

"Yes, God yes!" she cried when I sucked on her clit.

I slipped my index finger inside her and moved it slowly in and out.

"Oh, more! I need more!"

"I'll do anything for you," I promised, meaning every word.

I added another finger and flicked over her most sensitive place with my tongue.

"Ah! I'm coming!" she shouted and contracted wildly around my fingers.

I didn't stop my ministrations and ignored my own need although I was painfully hard at this point. I licked her clit gently after she came down and continued to caress her inner walls with my fingers.

I listened to the movie still playing behind me and grinned with delight on the inside.

_Perfect timing._

"Keep watching the movie, Isabella," I said.

"What?" she asked confused and blinked a few times.

"The movie," I said. "Watch it and I'll keep doing this."

"Okay," she said immediately, eyes glued to the screen.

Coming up was a scene between the two women in the movie. It was very erotic and this was emphasized by the setting it to Delibes' "Flower Duet" which was one of my favorite opera pieces.

I kept licking her slowly and deliberately, worshipping her and showing my love unbeknownst to her.

"Oh my God," she gasped. "That's so…"

I glanced up at her and smiled against her soft sensitive flesh. She was breathing heavily, completely entranced by the images on the screen.

Slowly I increased my efforts and it didn't take long before she was chanting my name and moving her hips rhythmically. I licked and sucked on her swollen clitoris, and pulled my fingers out slowly. I reached under her, grabbed her buttocks and pressed her up against my waiting mouth. I placed my tongue on her clit and moved her against me. Isabella quickly caught on and started grinding against my mouth. Soon she was coming again while she mewled and panted.

"Oh God, oh God," she chanted as she rested on the couch again and took a deep breath.

"No one has ever made you feel this good, have they?" I asked breathlessly.

"No, only you, Edward," she said.

She looked into my eyes.

"I mean that," she added softly.

_She really means it!_

I could see that she was being truthful and the game was forgotten instantly. I had never felt more proud of myself and I was completely overcome with love for her. Quickly, I moved up and kissed her. Everything I felt for her was poured into that kiss.

"Isabella," I moaned. "I want you so much."

"I want you too, Edward. Only you."

I ripped my clothes off frantically, desperate to be inside of her immediately. I made her lay down on the couch and hovered above her. She spread her legs eagerly and reached for me. I braced myself and pushed into her slowly.

"Oh God," I gasped. "You feel so good."

She pulled my mouth down to hers and kissed me tenderly. I pulled back and pushed inside her again.

"Oh, Edward, Edward," she moaned.

I lowered my mouth to her breasts and sucked on her nipples while I continued to move slowly in and out of her warm tight core. She pushed her hips up to meet my every thrust.

"I love being inside of you," I panted and kissed her passionately. "I've never felt anything like this. Only with you, Isabella."

"Only with you, Edward," she gasped.

I pulled her legs up higher and thrust deeper.

"I'll never get enough of you," I told her. "I want you all the time."

"Me too!" she cried out as I delivered a particularly deep slow thrust.

I leaned on my left arm and moved my free hand down to her small sensitive mound. Her skin was slick from a combination of my saliva and her juices, and my fingers moved over her easily. She called out a garbled version of my name and came almost the second I touched her. She threw her head back and dug her fingernails into my shoulders while she clenched and gasped. I was still delivering those slow deep thrusts that felt incredible and at the same time allowed me to go on for longer than I normally would have. However, the feel of her orgasm made me frantic for release and I sped up my movements considerably. The pleasure I was feeling grew to new incredible heights and I looked into her eyes. She placed her hand on my cheek and lifted her head to kiss me.

"Can you come again?" I panted, not wanting to let go if I could bring her one more orgasm.

"No, I want you to come," she told me. "Come inside me, Edward. I want you to feel good."

I buried my face in her neck and felt my climax approach at the speed of light. Isabella wrapped her arms and legs tightly around me and murmured softly in my ear.

"No one has ever made me feel as wonderful as you do, Edward. I love being with you. You're so good to me in every way, baby. Come for me. Let me feel your pleasure."

"Oh God, Isabella! I…I…"

_Love you!_

I climaxed in a rush of sensation and blinding light that swept over me like a tidal wave. I could feel my pelvis still thrusting into her but it wasn't anything I did consciously. I opened my mouth but all that came out was a guttural noise and then I was swept under.

I came to panting and sweating on top of the woman I loved. I was sticky and weighed too much for her small body to support but I could hardly move a muscle. She was also breathing heavily and stroked my damp hair gently. I lifted my head to look at her and smiled. Her skin was flushed and covered by a thin layer of sweat but she had never looked more beautiful to me.

"Edward?" she asked and furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Yes?" I said and brushed my lips against hers.

"That was the best…ever."

"Mmm," I hummed in agreement.

"Only…"

She hesitated and chewed on her bottom lip. I brushed her hair back and looked into her eyes.

"Tell me," I said softly. "What are you thinking?"

"We didn't just…fuck, did we?"

I shook my head slowly and my heart started pounding wildly in my chest. I had a feeling where this was going and I was both terribly nervous and excited about the outcome.

"And we didn't just have sex either, did we?" she asked and stroked my hair.

I shook my head again and caressed her cheek.

"We…"

She looked away and took a shaky breath. I saw a tear slide down her cheek and made her turn her face to look at me again. She looked scared, vulnerable and so tiny underneath me.

"Shh," I soothed. "You don't have to say anything else, sweetheart."

I kissed her lips softly three times and smiled at her.

"It was wonderful," I whispered.

She nodded and blinked back a few tears but she still looked afraid. I hated seeing her like that. I only wanted her to be happy and smiling.

"I'm not going anywhere," I whispered.

"How did you…" she asked, surprised that I knew what she was thinking.

I smiled and kissed her softly before nuzzling her neck.

"I know you," I murmured.

She took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. We lay like that for a long time with my body covering hers just being quiet together and breathing each other in.

"What was that song?" she whispered suddenly. "In the movie."

"It was 'Flower Duet' from 'Lakmé'," I said softly. "It's an opera."

"What does it mean? I didn't really get it."

"It's French," I told her and raised my head to look at her.

"Oh, I know some French," she said. "I guess I was just too distracted to notice."

"You would have hurt my feelings if you had been able to focus on lyrics in that situation," I chuckled and kissed her lips.

She smiled.

"So what does it mean?"

"I don't remember all of it. The first lines are something close to 'Under the thick dome, where the white jasmine gathers with the rose. On the riverbank in bloom, laughing in the morning. Come, let us go down together'", I said softly and stroked her cheek.

"That's beautiful," she whispered. "Do you have the song?"

I nodded and smiled.

"Can we listen to it?"

"Yes, but that means that I have to move from this position," I grinned.

"I'm thirsty anyway," she said smiling back at me. "And I need something so I don't get any mess on your couch."

My confusion must have been showing on my face because she motioned to the place where our bodies were still joined.

"Oh, right," I mumbled and reached down to grab my shirt for her.

Reluctantly, I pulled out of her and watched as she wiped herself and walked to the bathroom. I got up, turned off the TV and found the opera piece. Isabella came back in holding two bottles of water and handed me one of them. I took a quick drink and placed both of our bottles on the table. I turned on the opera piece and let the music and words flow all around us. Isabella inhaled deeply and clutched her hands against her chest. Her eyes became distant and I was worried when I saw them fill with tears. But then she smiled even though the tears streamed down her face. She stood completely naked in my living room while the music affected her in the most powerful of ways and I knew that I had never seen anything so spectacular in my entire life. Isabella was everything.

The piece ended and she took a deep breath and looked up at me.

"It's so beautiful that it sort of hurts my heart," she whispered. "Do you know what I mean?"

I closed the distance between us and cupped her face in my hands.

"I feel that way when I look at you."

New tears filled her eyes and she blinked them away to gaze up at me. She took my hand and placed it over her galloping heart.

"I feel it too," she whispered.

I was completely overcome with emotion and was very thankful that I was able to control myself enough not to start crying with sheer happiness. I bent down and kissed her slowly and gently. Finally I picked her up and carried her to bed where I once again used my body to show her how much she meant to me, how much I loved her, adored her and cherished her.

Afterwards we slept in each other's arms with nothing in between us, skin against skin and heart against heart. That was the night that Isabella and I went from having sex to making love and I added it to my top ten list knowing that this was a turning point in our relationship. We were lovers now and after tomorrow's class I could finally show the world that Isabella was mine just as I was hers.

**I'll be the first to admit it. I got a little misty-eyed when I wrote this last part. I hope you enjoyed it. **

**I'm going on a mini holiday next week with a couple of girlfriends. No men, no kids, just girls having fun. Also, no writing. Just to give you a heads up. **

**Take care until next time. :)**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Thank you for all your fantastic reviews of the last chapter. You guys really enjoy some good fluff, huh? :)**

**As always, I need to thank my sweet, wonderful beta Melanie who always comes through for me and betas my stories in a matter of hours after receiving the new chapter. **

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

I woke up and felt my arms empty. My hand searched blindly for Isabella but I discovered that the bed was only occupied by me. I opened my eyes and ran my hand over the spot on the mattress next to me. It was still warm from her residual body heat so I knew that she hadn't been gone long. I got out of bed and peered into the bathroom where I was met by the most terrifying sight; Isabella was fully dressed and shoving her shower items into her bag. I suddenly felt dizzy as understanding dawned on me:

_She's leaving!_

"Isabella?"

I could hardly recognize my own voice. She squeaked and whirled around to face me, her hand clutching her chest.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"I, uh, I need to get going," she said and brushed past me quickly.

I followed her into my office where she proceeded to pack up her books and notes.

"Why?" I asked.

I didn't know what I was asking. Why was she leaving me? Why was her heart closed again? Why wouldn't she let me love her?

She stopped what she was doing and looked at me.

"Thank you so much for everything, Edward," she said. "I'm feeling a lot better now and I should go."

"But your finals aren't over yet," I protested.

"I know. But I can handle it on my own now. That's the way it's supposed to be."

"Supposed to be- what does that mean? Isabella, I want you to stay," I said helplessly and watched as she finished packing her books.

"I can't. I have to go now," she said firmly and walked towards the hallway.

The room was spinning. She wasn't just leaving my apartment. She was leaving me! I didn't know where the knowledge came from but I was sure that if Isabella walked out of my door now I would never see her again in this setting. After today I would maybe catch glimpses of her on campus as she went on with her life and moved on to a new guy. She would never smile at me again or let me kiss her. I would never hold her while we slept or make breakfast for her. I would never win her love and eventually she would forget about me.

_Oh please God! Don't let this happen!_

"Isabella!" I called desperately and ran after her.

She turned and looked at me. Her eyes were so vacant this morning.

"Don't go," I choked out and fought back the tears. I reached out my hand to her.

_Please don't leave! Stay with me!_

"Don't look at me like that," she whispered.

"Like what?"

"Like I just ripped your heart out. You knew this was just temporary. You know what you and I are."

Anger bubbled up inside of me. I knew exactly what we were. We were in love and now she was trying to reduce what we had into nothing but casual sex again.

"It started out like that," I said calmly. "But it's more now."

She shook her head and looked down.

"No, it's not," she said quietly

"Why are you doing this?" I asked agitatedly. "Why are you spoiling it?"

"I'm just facing the facts!" she said harshly and looked up at me. "You should do the same!"

"And what are the facts?"

She took a deep breath and steeled her gaze.

"I'm a decade younger than you and we couldn't be more different if we tried. It was fun while it lasted but I can't teach you anything else. You know how to fuck now and that means that we're done."

I stared at her in disbelief. Was she actually trying to pawn this off as being just a learning experience for me and a teaching experience for her?

"You don't mean that."

"Yes, I do. You know it's the truth, Edward."

She blinked a few times and I noticed a small tremor in her upper body when she inhaled deeply. She was pressing her lips together and her eyes were everywhere except on mine. At that moment I saw the truth plain as day.

_She's lying! She's on the verge of tears!_

Relief flooded through me. She didn't mean what she was saying. Isabella was a horrible liar or maybe I just knew her face so well that I could see it clearly. I walked over to her and made her look up at me.

"Tell me that you don't feel anything for me. Look me in the eye and tell me that this has just been sex to you and nothing more," I challenged her.

From the outside it might seem like I was taking a huge risk in putting Isabella on the spot like this but it didn't feel that way to me. I knew that she had feelings for me. She couldn't have faked everything that had happened in the last few days.

"I-"

She took a ragged breath and avoided my eyes. I lifted her chin and she met my gaze.

"I…don't f-feel anything f-for y-you," she stammered and her eyes overflowed with tears.

"Liar," I whispered and cupped her face in my hands.

"This w-was j-just…sex," she gasped as the tears ran down her face.

"Liar," I murmured and bent down to kiss her.

Her lips trembled against mine and she was completely rigid. I looked at her when I pulled back. All her actions this morning gave off the impression that she wanted to leave but I knew her now. She was sad and most of all scared. All she knew was being alone so she was trying to push me away again. I had no idea what had happened during the night to cause this dramatic shift in her, but I knew that she didn't mean what she was saying at the moment.

I had spent my entire life being afraid of the unknown, always sticking to my routine to avoid disorder and chaos. I knew fear when it stared me in the face and right now it was painted all over Isabella's beautiful features.

"Don't be scared," I whispered.

"I'm not!" she said defensively and turned her back to me.

"I won't hurt you," I whispered and put my hands on her shoulders.

"Shut up!" she yelled.

I wrapped my arms around her from behind.

"I won't leave you," I said softly.

"Shut up!" she sobbed.

She struggled against me and managed to turn in my arms so that we were face to face. Her tiny fists pounded against my chest but I knew that she wasn't really trying to get away. I had already experienced Isabella's self-defense skills and if she wanted out of my embrace she could do it easily.

"I'm never leaving you," I vowed and tightened my hold on her.

"Stop it," she sobbed. "Stop fucking saying that!"

"Why? I swear I won't."

"It never means anything," she cried. "Everyone says it and they still leave! I don't want you to say it because then you'll go too!"

"Oh, Isabella," I said softly and stroked her hair. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

"Please don't do this. Just let me go, Edward!" she begged.

"I can't. I won't. I'm not letting you leave."

"Please," she whispered. "I have to be the one to go. If you leave…"

She broke down completely in my embrace, crying and shaking while I held her tight. I picked her up easily and carried her back to bed where we lay down together. She clung to me and I didn't let go of her while she cried until I thought she couldn't possibly have anymore tears in her.

"I'm sorry," she said hoarsely. "I didn't mean what I said."

"I know. I know you didn't."

I rubbed her back gently and she let out a shaky sigh.

"Why are you so nice to me?" she asked.

I smiled and kissed her forehead.

"I asked you that once, remember?"

"Oh, yeah," she said.

"You said you liked me," I reminded her. "I can give you the same answer."

She nodded against me shoulder.

"I just don't know what it means," she said quietly.

"Isabella, I like you as more than a friend. You know that right?" I asked nervously.

"Yes," she whispered.

I held her a little tighter.

"If I ask you something will you promise to think about it and not say no immediately?" I asked with my heart in my throat.

"Okay," she whispered.

I rolled onto my side facing her. We were almost nose to nose and I gazed into her teary eyes. I had no idea what was compelling me to do this now but I felt as though I might burst if I didn't get the words out.

"I wanted to ask you if maybe you would…um, possibly consider…."

_Just ask her, you coward!_

I took a deep breath. Isabella was regarding me warily but gave me a small smile. That smile gave me the courage to finish the sentence.

"Being mine, being my, uh, my girlfriend," I managed to get out.

_Oh God, I actually said it! I can't take it back now! What if she runs?_

Her eyes widened a little and not surprisingly I felt her tense up next to me. She chewed on her bottom lip and stared at me for a really long time. Finally she opened her mouth to speak.

"What…would it mean?" she asked cautiously.

_Uhhhhh…_

I was stumped.

"I don't know exactly," I admitted. "Have you ever…you know, had a boyfriend?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I didn't like it."

_Shit!_

"Oh," I said dumbly. "Was he…"

"An asshole," she sighed.

She didn't elaborate.

"I won't be! Err, an asshole, I mean," I said awkwardly. "I don't know much about being someone's boyfriend but I will never hurt you. I swear."

"Will things change between us…if I say yes?" she asked and lifted her head to look at me.

"No," I said. "Not unless you want them to. I mean, I like what we have now. Don't you?"  
She nodded and gave me a small smile.

"Then we don't have to change anything. Except…"

"Except what?" she asked.

"Well, the semester is almost over and my final class is today. I'd like to take you out sometime. You know, on a date."

I could feel my heart racing out of control. I hadn't meant to move forward so quickly but suddenly I found myself at the point of no return. If Isabella rejected me now I didn't think my heart would recover. I couldn't go on pretending that we were something that we were not. I couldn't act like I didn't love her and care deeply for her anymore.

"Can I think about it?" she asked quietly and avoided my eyes.

I put my index finger under her chin and made her look at me.

"I'm not saying no," she whispered and caressed my cheek. "I love being with you, Edward. But being a girlfriend again…"

She shuttered lightly in my arms and her face looked pained.

_What the hell did he do to her?_

"Isabella, he didn't…"

I couldn't even finish the sentence. I was suddenly deathly afraid that her ex had been abusive towards her. I cleared my throat.

"D-did he…hit you?" I managed to ask.

_If he did I swear to God I will find him and beat him senseless! And I'll probably bring Emmett along for back-up. I'm not stupid!_

Her eyebrows flew up in surprise.

"No! No, nothing like that," she said and shook her head. "He never laid a finger on me."

_Thank God!_

I breathed out in relief.

"You looked so worried," she said softly.

"I don't like the idea of anyone causing you harm."

Her eyes darkened.

"He still hurt you, didn't he?" I whispered.

She nodded and blinked back the tears in her eyes.

"I won't do that," I promised and stroked her hair. "Like I said, I don't have any experience with being someone's boyfriend but I think maybe I could be a good one."

"I think you could too," she sniffed. "I just don't know if it's the best thing for us."

"Why not?"

She hesitated for a few seconds before continuing.

"Things are really…good right now, and what if we do this and it all goes to hell?" she asked.

"It won't," I insisted. "We're good together. Don't you agree?"

She nodded.

"But why do we need to label it?" she asked. "Can't we just continue like this?"

"Of course we can. I just…I need to know that we're more than sex-buddies now," I told her in complete honesty.

"We _are_," she said immediately and looked into my eyes. "Edward, we are more."

I felt reassured because I could see that she was telling the truth, but there was still a relentless part of me that needed to call her mine to feel calm. I didn't know why. Maybe it was because at thirty two I had never had a girlfriend, maybe it was because I wanted to stake my claim or it might just be because I loved her too much to call her something less significant, such as my date, when we attended my parents' party and finally took our relationship out in public.

"Don't you think maybe you would like being my girlfriend?" I asked cautiously.

"Yeah, probably," she admitted and wiped her eyes. "But why would you want me? I'm such a huge mess right now!"

"You're just going through a difficult time," I soothed and rubbed her back again. "That doesn't make me want you any less. I want to take care of you and help you."

"You already do, you know?" she said. "Take care of me and help me, I mean. Thank you."

She buried her face in the crook of my neck and I held her close to me. Her small fingers played with my sparse chest hair and I suppressed a moan when they brushed over my nipples. As hard as I tried I couldn't stop my body's natural reaction to her closeness and gentle caresses.

"Wow," she giggled when she felt my erection against her. "You're all kinds of naked. I can't believe I didn't notice before now."

"I actually didn't either," I said and blushed a little. "Just ignore it."

Rather than doing that Isabella pressed her lips against mine and kissed me. When I started to protest she pushed her tongue into my mouth and intensified the kiss. She ran her hands all over me and my body reacted accordingly. Then she climbed on top of me and pulled her t-shirt over her head to reveal her naked upper body to me. Finally, she grabbed my hands and placed them on her breasts.

"Touch me," she moaned and ground down on my erection. "Fuck me, Edward. I need to feel you."

There was suddenly an air of desperation about her touches and I knew that despite how great it felt I couldn't go through with it.

"Isabella," I said softly and lifted her off me. "Please stop."

"Why?" she asked and tried to kiss me again. "Please, I want you."

I held her face in my hands and looked deeply into her eyes. I kissed her softly but then I pulled back and handed her the t-shirt again.

"You don't want me?" she asked with a mixture of shock and sadness in her voice.

"Of course I do," I said immediately. "I mean, can't you tell?"

I glanced down at my erection and smiled sheepishly. Isabella followed my eyes and smiled back at me. She reached out her hand to touch it but I intercepted and lifted her hand to my lips and kissed it gently while I covered myself with the bed sheet.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"I…I think I'm trying to show you that I want more than just sex," I said and kissed each one of her fingertips.

I leaned forward and brushed my lips against hers. I placed slow gentle kisses on her cheeks and eyelids while I held her hands in mine.

"You're so sweet and wonderful and lovely in every way," I murmured. "I want to be there for you if you need a friend to talk to or have fun with, I want to pleasure you as your lover and I want to take you out on dates as your boyfriend. I want to pull out your chair for you, serve you wine and treat you like a lady. I want to make you as happy as you make me. I want all of that with you, Isabella. Only with you."

Her bottom lip trembled and once again her eyes filled with tears.

"Edward," she choked out. "Please don't say stuff like that."

"Why not?" I asked with my heart in my throat.

"Don't you see? You're the one who's wonderful and sweet. Not me. You deserve someone who can give you all that. Someone closer to your own age and not someone like me who doesn't know what the fuck she's doing."

She drew a ragged breath.

"I've only been someone's girlfriend once before and that turned to complete shit. I have no idea how to be what you want. Casual fucking is all I've known for years. It's all I've wanted."

She looked at me and wiped her eyes.

"But then you come along and all I can think is how much fun it will be teaching you how to fuck and talk dirty. And you know what? It was fun! It was so much fun that I asked you to stay over afterwards. I never do that! I…I never planned on actually liking you and wanting more than just to fuck you. I've never brought a guy hangover food before and after Pop's funeral you were the only one I wanted to see."

She threw up her hands.

"I don't know what I'm doing, Edward! I feel so fucking much for you that it scares the crap out of me and it makes me want to run just like before. You don't need that. Don't you see?"

I took a beat to process everything she had just said. Then I took her hands in mine and looked into her eyes.

"Isabella, I'm crazy about you," I said bluntly.

I kissed both of her hands softly and continued.

"I only want you. There might be women out there who are more age-appropriate but they're not you. I've never felt this way about anyone before. You make me feel like I am finally living, not just existing. I mean, before you I had never spent the night with a woman and I hadn't ever slept with the same woman twice. Do you see what I'm trying to say?"

"I think so," she whispered, and tightened her hold on my hands.

"I don't know what I'm doing either. I've never had a girlfriend or a serious relationship before. This is completely new to me. I never expected to develop feelings for you when this started. But I did, Isabella, and it scares me too."

"Oh," she nodded.

"I'll probably screw up a lot," I added.

Her lips curved up and she smiled a little.

"I probably will too," she said softly.

_Wait! Does that mean…_

I stared at her with my mouth hanging open.

"So you'll…"

I was afraid of saying it. She took a deep breath and looked into my eyes.

"Yes, Edward. I'll be your girlfriend."

_YES! She said yes! Isabella is my girlfriend! I am her boyfriend! Wow!_

I could feel myself smiling so widely that it almost hurt my face and I leaned forward to kiss the hell out of my girlfriend. She surprised me when she pulled her face back slightly.

"If you hurt me I'll kick your fucking ass. You know that, right?" she said.

"You say the sweetest things," I deadpanned.

She raised her eyebrows and I knew that she wasn't kidding around.

"No ass kicking will be needed, I swear you can trust me," I vowed. "I won't let you down, Isabella. I'll be the best boyfriend in the world."

_I'm sure there are books and helpful websites on the subject._

"Just keep being you," she said softly. "I've loved everything you've done so far."

"Well, except low-balling me on my paper," she added with a hint of a scowl.

"Um, an excellent example of the aforementioned screwing up I might do?" I asked.

She grinned a little and nodded.

"I may have overreacted just a teeny tiny bit," she said and held up her index finger and thumb to demonstrate the small amount of space between them. "I think maybe I was looking for an excuse to leave because we were getting closer."

"Really?" I asked, and I was very impressed with her level of insight into herself.

"That's what Alice said, anyway."

"Oh," I smiled. "She's perceptive, that one."

"Is she ever," Isabella agreed enthusiastically. "You remember that night her and Rose walked in on us?"

I nodded.

"The next day she kept saying how she could just tell that we were going to become more than casual sex-buddies. I told her she was being ridiculous. I guess the joke's on me, huh?"

"I'm really glad that she was right," I said softly. "Can I kiss you now?"

"Please," she whispered and leaned forward again.

I cupped her face in my hands.

"My sweet, beautiful girlfriend," I said, still trying to wrap my mind around this astonishing development.

I kissed her slowly and gently, savoring the feel of her soft lips against mine.

"Edward," she sighed. "Please don't make me regret this."

"You won't," I promised. "Isabella, you won't. I only want to make you happy."

"Are _you_ happy?" she asked nervously.

"I'm…"

_Ecstatic? Thrilled? Exultant? Blissful?_

None of the words seemed enough to accurately describe how I was feeling at this moment. My heart's desire; the unattainable girl, who I never thought would see me as more than a casual sex-partner was suddenly, gloriously…mine. My girlfriend to kiss and hold, take out on dates and make love to, hold hands with in public and embrace at night, care for and support in every way.

"I have no words to describe it," I said simply. "I'm speechless with happiness."

She gave me a tentative smile and moved closer to me until she was curled up in my lap.

"This is new," she whispered. "I don't know how to be this way."

"I think you're doing great," I said and she let out a small laugh.

"You're not so bad yourself and if I didn't know better I wouldn't believe that you had never had a girlfriend before."

"Trust me, I haven't," I said and wrapped my arms around her. "I'm a beginner at this."

"An absolute beginner," Isabella sighed. "I love that song."

"What song?" I asked.

"Absolute Beginners," she told me.

"How does it go?"

"I'm not much of a singer," she warned.

"That's okay," I assured her. "I'd like to hear it."

"I've nothing much to offer. There's nothing much to take. I'm an absolute beginner. But I'm absolutely sane. As long as we're together. The rest can go to hell. I absolutely love you. But we're absolute beginners. With eyes completely open. But nervous all the same."

Her voice was soft, low and beautiful as she sang the unfamiliar verse to me.

"He could have written it about me," she added and snuggled closer to me with a sigh.

I think my heart stopped for a long second when she uttered those words. One line in the lyrics kept playing in my head.

_I absolutely love you. I absolutely love you. _

Was this Isabella's way of telling me that she loved me? I swallowed nervously and held her a little tighter.

"It could be about me as well," I whispered.

_I love you so much!_

Isabella drew a ragged breath and leaned her head on my shoulder. I held her like that for a long time and I was amazed that someone who felt so small in my arms could encompass my heart entirely and turn my world upside down as she had.

"I'm sorry I tried to leave," she whispered suddenly.

"Did you really want to?" I asked quietly.

"No," she sighed. "You were right. I got scared."

"So you don't really think I'm too old for you?" I asked hopefully.

"No, not at all," she answered immediately.

"And are there still things you can teach me?"

She laughed softly.

"Yeah, if you want."

"I do," I confirmed. "I want to learn, uh, for you. To please you."

"Maybe next time I'll tie you up and use you for my pleasure," she suggested and kissed my neck.

_Oh my God!_

"O-okay," I stuttered, very much aware of the distinctive twitches under the covers.

I was fairly certain that Isabella felt them as well since she was seated in my lap. She didn't mention anything and neither did I.

"Maybe I should go take a shower and then I'll make us some breakfast?" I suggested.

"Can I come with you?" she asked and looked up at me.

_Where? In the shower?_

"In the, um, shower?" I asked dumbly.

"Yes," she chuckled. "Why do you look so shocked?"

"I don't know. People do that?"

"Sure," Isabella shrugged. "I don't have to or anything."  
_Naked wet Isabella plus naked wet Edward equals…Okay, I don't have a clue, but I definitely want to find out! Why the hell am I questioning this?_

"No, you can come with me," I said immediately and moved both of us off the bed.

"Great, I'll join you in a minute," she said and started to unpack her shower items again.

I stumbled into the bathroom, turned on the shower and stepped in. It had never occurred to me that people shared the shower. It did seem prudent in terms of conserving water but I didn't think this was the reason why people did it.

The second I felt Isabella's arms around my waist and she pressed her breasts against my back I knew that saving water would not be on today's agenda.

_This will be the longest shower I have ever had_.

She placed soft kisses between my shoulder blades and her hands moved slowly up and down my torso. I turned and slicked my hair off my forehead to look at her. She smiled up at me and I gawked at her like someone who had never seen a naked woman before. Truthfully, I had never seen a naked wet woman before and I hoped this excused my ogling somewhat.

"I can't believe no one has ever called you beautiful before me," I blurted out.

Isabella smiled wider and stepped under the spray to wet her hair while I ran my hands down her back. She stood up on her toes to kiss me and I leaned down to meet her while I pulled her flush against me. The feeling of our naked wet bodies close together was amazing and I groaned loudly when Isabella released my lips and started kissing and licking my neck. She circled one of my nipples with her tongue before flicking over it rapidly while her hands travelled down my stomach and slowly traced the length of my erection with her fingertips.

"Oh God, what are you doing to me?" I moaned rhetorically when she grabbed a firm hold with one hand and the other one reached down to gently massage my balls.

Isabella chose to answer anyway.

"I'm going to suck your big beautiful cock," she said and dropped to her knees.

I looked at her in that unbelievably submissive position and suddenly I was unsure if it was the right thing for her to do. I lifted her to her feet and her face displayed utter confusion.

"What's the matter, baby?" she asked softly. "Don't you want me to?"

"I don't know," I said. "I…You're my girlfriend now."

"Yes?" she said slowly and gave me a strange look. "And?"

"And…I respect you and care about you. I mean, I did before as well, that's not my point. I'm….Should I still want you to do that?" I asked helplessly.

"Edward," Isabella said patiently. "I'm not sure I understand."

I didn't really understand it myself. I loved it when Isabella performed oral sex on me but it hadn't occurred since I realized that I was in love with her. I didn't know if her servicing me in such a way was appropriate when I loved and cherished her as much as I did. I suppose the whole thing seemed a little sordid in my mind and I was worried about doing the wrong thing in our brand-new relationship.

"It's just, well, I don't know if you being on your knees isn't a little…um, demeaning, I guess and I don't want you to think that I think that you're inferior to me in any way. I've never thought that before or anything, but I just don't know what the right thing to do in terms of, uh, sex is now that you're my girlfriend. I really like it when you do…that with your mouth but I don't want to disrespect you in any way," I managed to say, although extremely ineloquently.

She stared at me for a few seconds and shook her head lightly.

"Okay, let me see if I understand correctly," she said. "You like blowjobs but you're worried that they'll make me feel inferior to you?"

"Um, yeah," I said weakly. "I guess that's the gist of it."

She surprised me by giving me a wink and dropping to her knees again. Without warning she slid my erection into her warm wet mouth and worked her tongue around the tip where I was most sensitive.

"Oh Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed and slammed my hands against the shower wall.

She took me slowly in and out of her mouth while she cupped my balls in one hand and kneaded my buttocks with the other. I was already panting and groaning, trying not to thrust into her mouth without permission. The pleasure was indescribable and I couldn't remember why I had wanted to prevent her from doing this to me just a minute earlier. She stopped abruptly and stood up again.

_No! Why did she stop?_

I could just imagine my erection weeping at the loss of her glorious mouth. She smirked wickedly and kissed me.

"Do you want me to keep going?" she asked and licked my lips suggestively.

"Yes!" I almost cried out.

"And if I didn't how would that make you feel?"

I blinked a few times. Why was she asking me this?

"I…I guess I would feel frustrated and um, a little disappointed," I admitted.

"But you wouldn't force me do it if I didn't want to anymore?"

"Of course not!" I said feeling appalled at the notion of forcing Isabella to do anything she didn't want.

"So it's safe to say that I'm calling the shots here," she said with a grin. "I'm in control."

I blinked again.

_Ding!_

"Oh!" I said.

Isabella laughed softly and kissed my lips again.

"You're so cute," she said. "And I like that you think about those things but you don't have to be concerned. I would never subject myself to something that made me feel inferior."

"That's good," I said, feeling relieved. "I'm sorry if I was being ridiculous. I've never done this before."

"We can make up our own rules," she said and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I think that oral sex should definitely be a part of our sex life, don't you?"

I nodded emphatically.

"I really love doing it," she told me. "Do you like doing it to me?"

"Very much," I said and noticed how husky my voice sounded.

"But you have to tell me if I push you too far," she said with a concerned look on her face. "In case you haven't already noticed I'm pretty uninhibited when it comes to sex but that doesn't mean you have to be."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, in bed before I suggested tying you up and basically using you as my fucktoy," she said brazenly. "If that makes you uncomfortable you have to tell me. I don't want to do anything sexual if it jeopardizes our relationship."

At once I was both incredibly turned on and filled with love for her. The fact that Isabella down-prioritized sex in our relationship made me insanely happy because it proved that we had moved on from where we had started out. And the idea of being Isabella's...toy was just….

_Holy shit!_

I could feel the eager twitches below my waist and Isabella noticed as well.

"Do you like that idea?" she purred and stroked my erection.

I closed my eyes and nodded.

"Do you want me to tie you up and fuck you senseless, baby?" she whispered roughly. "Do you want me to play with you until you beg me to let you come?"

"Fuck…Yes," I moaned. "Yes, I want that, Isabella."

"Excellent," she said. "So we both agree that a little kink is good?"

"Definitely," I nodded and opened my eyes to look at her.

Her smile was so bright that my heart skipped a beat.

"I'd really like to suck your cock now," she said and stroked me with both her hands. "Is that alright?"  
I nodded immediately. She was about to drop to her knees again but I cupped her face in my hands.

"You're really my girlfriend?" I whispered and looked into her eyes.

"I really am," she assured me and kissed her way down my chest and stomach. "Let me show me how much I love having you as my boyfriend."

This time I felt zero apprehension when she took me into her mouth. Isabella had been right, of course. She was the one in control just as I was when I returned the favor to her, and even though she was on her knees I was the one at her mercy. I looked down on her and gasped a little when I saw that her eyes were closed and she truly looked like she was enjoying herself. She moaned around me and swirled her tongue while her hands gently kneaded and squeezed my buttocks. When she hollowed out her cheeks and sucked harder my eyes rolled in the back of my head and I put my hands on Isabella's head. As if she had been anticipating my move Isabella immediately grabbed my bottom firmly and pushed my hips forward which made me slide deeper into her mouth.

I opened my eyes again and looked at her. She was watching me now and nodded when I started thrusting slowly in and out of her beautiful, warm and inviting mouth. Her skilled tongue and the mind-blowing suction she created combined with my thrusts soon reduced me to a panting, moaning and completely incoherent mess.

"Isabella…your mouth…fuck," I groaned. "Feels so…oh, so good…My girlfriend…God, you're amazing!"

My orgasm took me by complete surprise and in the back of my mind I wished that there had been time to warn Isabella before I exploded in her mouth. Somehow she must have known because just when I came she took me in as far as she could and sucked harder. I could feel her swallow around the tip of my erection and it only increased the intensity of my climax. I let out a loud throaty groan as I emptied myself completely and untangled my fingers from Isabella's hair since I needed lean on the shower wall for support. My knees were weak and I felt lightheaded for a few seconds as I tried to collect myself. I felt Isabella stand up in front of me and I wrapped my arms around her.

"Thank you," I whispered. "That was incredible!"

She hummed and rubbed her cheek against my chest. I turned us around and put her under the warm spray when I felt how cold her back was. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Do you want me to wash your hair?" she asked.

"Okay," I said and handed her the bottle.

She looked expectantly at me.

"You're too tall," she said with a smirk and her eyes darted to the floor.

I dropped to my knees which gave me a spectacular view of Isabella's lower body. I looked up at her and saw her smiling widely.

_She planned this! God, I love her!_

"See something you like?" she asked and spread her legs a little.

I stared completely transfixed and nodded.

"Do you want to feel how much I loved sucking your cock, baby?" she asked.

I swallowed and nodded again while I moved closer to her.

"What do you want?" she asked and made me look up at her. "Tell me."

Just a few weeks ago I would have been blushing and stammering but I was a different man now and I knew that Isabella enjoyed it when I was vocal. That alone was more than enough motivation for me, but surprisingly I had discovered that I loved expressing my desires. I gave her a smile and placed a soft kiss above her pubic bone.

"I want to lick and taste your pussy, sweetheart," I told her without even a hint of hesitation in my voice.

She closed her eyes for a second as if savoring my words and smiled. Then she lifted her left leg over my shoulder, granting me complete access to her most intimate parts. I spread her bare lips gently and felt was she was drenched in arousal.

"Jesus," I mumbled and looked up at her.

"Told you I like to do it," she said with a wink.

"I believe you," I said with a grin and licked her slowly from her entrance to her clit.

"Yes," she whispered softly and ran her fingers through my hair.

I glanced up at her and flicked my tongue over her clit while watching her.

"Edward," she moaned and tightened her grip on my hair.

I made her let go and she gave me a puzzled look.

"I want you to play with your tits while I do this," I said and gave her a long slow lick.

She shivered at the sound of my words and complied immediately. I worked her with my tongue and enjoyed her taste, her moans, and the great view of her rubbing and pinching her nipples. I was hard again but ignored it because I wanted it to be all about her right now. I brought my index finger to her entrance and circled it slowly.

"Yes!" Isabella cried out. "I need your fingers inside me!"

I teased her a little more and inserted just the tip of my finger which I kept circling.

"Please!" she whimpered. "I'm so close!"

I decided not to torture her any longer and slid two fingers all the way inside her while I sucked down on her clit. Isabella cried out and her inner walls clamped down my fingers. I smiled and licked her slowly while she climaxed and her soft cries echoed in the shower.

_Sweet music to my ears. God, I love making her come._

"Oh fuck, oh fuck," she chanted as I lowered her trembling leg to the floor and stood up again.

She wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my chest while I caressed her back.

"I love showering with you," I murmured.

She let out a laugh and nodded in agreement.

"Let's wash up and I'll make us some breakfast, okay sweetheart?"

"I like it when you call me that," she said, almost shyly.

The girl was still such a mystery to me. She cursed like a sailor and had the vocabulary of a porn star but she seemed so hesitant when it came to expressing affection. I tilted her head up and gazed into her eyes.

"My sweetheart," I said and held her face between my hands.

"My girlfriend," I told her and leaned down until our lips were just an inch from each other.

"My Isabella," I whispered and kissed her tenderly.

Our tongues and lips moved slowly together and I kissed her three times before pulling away completely.

"I love you."

**So how did you enjoy that? I bet those of you who read the teaser didn't think it would work out like this. ;) **

**Leave me a review if you like shared shower time. :)**

.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Huge response to the last chapter. That "I love you" at the end really got you guys out of your seats. :) But who said it? You'll have to read to find out. **

**Melanie: You are the wind beneath my freaking wings and I love you too, my beta goddess. **

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

"I love you."

The words seemed to echo all around us and I felt a frisson of fear run down my spine. I always thought it when I kissed her three times in a row but I had always been able to keep the words inside of me. I had worried that it was too soon for me to tell her how I felt but now it had somehow slipped out anyway.

_No…wait._

As the shock wore off I suddenly realized that I hadn't been the one to utter those fateful words.

_It was…Oh fuck! It was Isabella!_

It was as if she came to the same realization at that exact moment because her eyes widened to the size of saucers and she clamped both of her hands over her mouth. My mind was going a million miles a second. Isabella just told me that she loved me! I tried to understand what that meant but I was shocked into catatonia.

_She loves me? Isabella loves me…Edward. Isabella loves Edward! Holy shit, she loves me!_

I felt a surge of pure undiluted happiness flow through me but the feeling waned when I saw the distressed look in Isabella's eyes.

"Oh no," she moaned and in the blink of an eye she was out of the shower.

_Go after her you goddamn idiot! You didn't say it back!_

The thought was horrifying and my immobile body was jolted into action. She was already out of the bathroom and I ran into the bedroom where she was pacing back and forth with a towel wrapped around her.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck," she was whispering to herself over and over.

"Isabella?" I said softly.

Her eyes shot up to meet mine and they were filled with panic.

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," she said quickly.

I opened my mouth to speak but she beat me to it.

"I didn't mean it," she said and buried her face in her hands.

_No! Please don't say that!_

I couldn't tell if she was being truthful when I couldn't see her face and I stumbled over to her and made her look up at me.

"You didn't?" I croaked and swallowed the massive lump in my throat.

Her face crumbled and she lowered her head again.

"No, I did," she moaned. "But I shouldn't have said it."  
I breathed out a sigh of relief and couldn't stop myself from smiling like an idiot.

_She loves me!_

"Isabella," I said and wrapped my arms around her small frame. "It's okay. In fact, it's better than okay. It's wonderful, sweetheart. I'm glad you said it. You see….I, uh, I lov-"

"No!" she whimpered and pulled away. "Please don't!"

"But-"

_I love you too. _

She looked up at me, pleading with her eyes while they overflowed with tears.

"Please don't say it!" she begged. "I can't. Please, it's too much!"

I could feel my smile faltering and she started to cry again.

"Oh God, please don't hate me, Edward!" she sobbed. "I want you so much but this is just…I just can't. Please, don't hate me!"

Immediately I pulled her back into my embrace and held her tightly.

"I could never hate you," I said softly and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm so sorry," she whimpered. "You don't deserve any of this. I never meant to say it like that. Sometimes when I look into your eyes words just spill out…I get…"

"Lost?" I asked.

She looked up at me and I wiped her eyes.

"Maybe I don't get lost," she whispered. "Maybe…I'm found."

She drew a ragged breath.

"I haven't been like this since high school and I can hardly remember who that girl was. But when you look at me like you do now…"

She reached up her hand and placed it on my cheek.

"I-I feel like maybe things will work out after all. Maybe I won't always be alone."

She looked at me anxiously as if she was expecting me to say something bad.

"You're not alone," I said in a soft voice. "I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?" she whispered.

"I promise," I said with a smile.

"I'm so sorry for what I said before and that I freaked out. I'm just not ready for that yet. Things are happening so fast."

I knew that she was right. We had moved forward at the speed of light in the past few days. Between me inviting her to live here while she did her finals, to her agreeing to be my girlfriend and now this unexpected declaration of love, it was really no wonder that Isabella was feeling overwhelmed.

"Don't apologize," I murmured and kissed her gently.

I gazed into her eyes and caressed her cheek. Her skin was blotchy and her eyes a little red but she was still so beautiful that she took my breath away.

"I'll wait forever to hear you say those words to me again," I whispered. "And when you do I'll say them back to you. You may not be ready to hear them right now, but know that I feel them- every moment."

Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open.

"Edward," she gasped.

"I'm in no hurry," I assured her. "I just want to be with you."

Very unexpectedly, Isabella took a step back and dropped the towel she was wearing. My eyes roamed over her naked form and my body reacted immediately to the stunning visual.

"Be with me now," she said.

"That's not what I-"

"I know you weren't talking about sex," she said quickly. "But please be with me this way now. I want you. I need you."

"I need you too, my sweetheart," I told her. "Always."

Isabella grabbed my hand and pulled me down on the bed with her. As I covered her small body with mine her hands seemed to be everywhere all at once and her mouth was eager and hungry against mine. I tried to slow her down but she seemed almost desperate for me and reached down to position my erection at her entrance before I had had a chance to make sure that she was ready for me.

"Isabella, Isabella," I managed to say in between kisses. "Easy, sweetheart. We have time."

"You don't know that," she whispered frantically. "Anything could happen. Please, I need you now. Fuck me, Edward! Fuck me hard!"

_I will do no such thing!_

I grabbed both of her hands and held them tightly above her head. She let out a frustrated noise and moved her hips desperately beneath me in an effort to get me inside her.

"Lay still," I said and put some of my weight on her writhing body.

"Please, Edward, please," she begged me. "I need you."

"I need you too, but I don't want to fuck," I said.

"I don't know any other way," she whispered.

"Yes, you do," I said softly. "You know how to make love. With me you do."

She finally stilled her movements and just looked up at me. I released her hands and cupped her face before kissing her gently. She let me control the kiss and kept her hands above her head.

"Touch me," I whispered and moved my mouth lower.

I felt her hands in my hair and smiled against her skin. She tangled her fingers in it and tugged lightly which made me moan softly.

"You know this, you know us." I whispered and placed openmouthed kisses on her neck.

I stroked, kissed and licked her body gently all over, making sure that she was aroused before I moved up until we were nose to nose. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I looked deeply into her eyes as I pushed into her amazing warmth.

"Edward," she sighed and closed her eyes.

"Look at me," I whispered.

She opened her eyes again and I started moving in her, going slow and deep. I leaned down and kissed her passionately, pouring everything I felt for her into the kiss.

"Feel me," I told her and caressed her face.

"I do," she moaned. "You feel so good."

"So do you, my sweetheart."

I looked into her eyes again and held her gaze as I continued delivering slow deep thrusts.

_I love you, Isabella. Please see it in my eyes._

"Oh God," she whispered and her eyes darted away from mine.

"No, look at me. Stay with me," I said and held her face between my hands.

"Edward." Her voice cracked with emotion. "What's happening?"

"We're making love," I said and kissed her lips softly.

Her eyes welled up with unshed tears and she gripped my shoulders tightly.

"I'm…scared," she gasped.

I stilled my movements and wiped her tears away.

"Don't be afraid," I whispered. "I will never hurt you. I will never stop wanting you. You are my girlfriend, my sweetheart, my Isabella."

She drew a ragged breath beneath me and mimicked me when she held my face between her hands.

"You mean that."

It wasn't a question. She knew I was being truthful.

"Let me show you," I said. "Let me make love with you."

She nodded hesitantly. I pulled almost all the way out of her and pushed back in slowly. The sensation was indescribable and I had to fight the urge to move faster and harder. There would be other occasions for doing it like that. Right now I wanted to make love to her.

"You are beautiful," I whispered. "Inside and out, Isabella. I can never get enough of you."

She lifted her head and kissed me tenderly. I smiled and lowered my mouth to her breasts. I licked each nipple gently before sucking one in my mouth and flicking my tongue over it repeatedly. Isabella gasped and arched her back beautifully, and I thrust a little harder.

"Edward, oh God," she moaned and moved her hips with mine.

I switched to her other nipple and swirled my tongue around it until Isabella tightened her grip on my hair in frustration and I finally sucked on it the way she loved. I could feel her getting close to her orgasm and leaned on my left elbow. I brought my right hand down between us and she nodded breathlessly.

"I love being with you," I told her. "It's so much more than sex now."

"Yes," she agreed.

"That being said, I love being inside of you like right now. I love making you come and giving you pleasure," I said and massaged her where she needed it.

"Oh, oh, Edward," she moaned.

"Come for me, sweetheart," I groaned and moved faster. "Let me feel you."

"I'm so close," she panted, and I could see that she was struggling to keep her eyes on mine.

I was working overtime to keep my own climax at bay. It was so intense looking into Isabella's eyes while I made love to her and I was desperately close to finishing before she did. I kissed her deeply and rubbed her clitoris a little harder.

"Feel me, feel us together, Isabella. Feel how much I want you. I worship you, my beautiful girl. Come for me. Please come for me."

"Edward!" she gasped before she stilled beneath me and I felt her inner walls start to pulse.

She threw her head back in ecstasy and I wrapped my arms around her, finally surrendering to my own desire. I lost myself in the sensations and her small screams of pleasure as I loved her with my body and my soul at the same time.

"Isabella…Oh God. I'm yours…always."

I came with an intensity which made me shiver and Isabella threw her arms around my neck and held me tightly.

"I'm yours too," she whispered breathlessly.

I put my forehead against hers as both of tried to catch our breath and I closed my eyes. I felt so connected to her at that moment and suddenly my heart clenched with fear.

_What if I lose her?_

I had fallen head over heels for a girl who was fearless in all areas of life except when it came to love. She was so easily spooked and I was scared to death that one day I wouldn't wake up in time to stop her from leaving me. Isabella had said that she loved me but she was so afraid of her feelings that I didn't know if it meant something in the long run. If she ever left me my heart would break into a million pieces and I would never be the same again. I had never felt so strongly about anyone or anything and the sheer intensity of my emotions forced a broken sob out of me as I buried my face in her neck.

"Edward?" Isabella asked and stroked my hair.

I couldn't answer her. I was so embarrassed at the tears in my eyes and the lump in my throat. I didn't want her to think of me as weak but I was deathly afraid of being without her now that I had finally found her. What if she met someone else? Someone younger who knew all the bands on her t-shirts and who was gifted in ways of making love to her that I wouldn't ever be familiar with.

_Please God, please don't let me lose her!_

Another ugly sob escaped and I felt myself tremble against her. I couldn't remember the last time I had cried, it had been years and years, but now it seemed that my body needed that release just as much as I had needed to orgasm just a minute earlier.

"Edward, baby. What's wrong?" Isabella asked and massaged my scalp gently with her fingertips.

"I'm sorry," I choked out and sobbed again. "I can't…I need you…"

"I'm right here," she whispered. "I'm right here."

"Don't ever leave me," I whimpered pathetically.

"I won't, I swear," she said immediately. "Don't you leave me either."  
"Never," I swore and held her tighter.

I had calmed down marginally and I lifted my head to look at her. Her eyes widened in wonder and she brought her hand up to my face and gently wiped away my tears.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and looked down, feeling embarrassed. "I, uh, I never usually cry."

"I don't either," she said softly. "I think you've seen me cry more than anyone. Except maybe my parents when I was a kid."

"I didn't mean to cry," I said, still looking down. "I couldn't help it."

"What brought this on?" she asked and shifted her legs which were still wrapped around me.

I remembered that I was still inside her and before I pulled out I made her lower her legs down to a more comfortable position. I rested my head between her breasts and closed my eyes when she stroked my hair again. Even now I didn't feel close enough to her and I managed to get my hands underneath her shoulders to hold her even closer.

"I get scared too," I whispered.

As the words left my mouth I realized that even our reaction to the fear of losing one another was on opposite ends of the specter. Where Isabella's instincts were telling her to run away to protect herself, mine made me cling to her like a frightened child.

"What scares you?" she asked.

"That you'll leave like you almost did this morning," I admitted. "I was terrified."

"I'm so sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have done that."

"You won't do it again, will you?" I asked nervously.

"No," she whispered.

I lifted my head and she smiled at me.

"So we're in agreement?" I asked. "No one is leaving?"

"Agreed."

She smiled wider. I moved up and captured her lips in a searing kiss. I was a little stunned when I felt myself getting aroused again. I had already come twice this morning but apparently my body wanted more of Isabella. She moaned softly and pushed on my shoulders to make me roll us over. I complied and she surprised me when she slowly lowered herself onto me without warning. Both of us moaned softly and she kissed me before she sat up.

"Remember the first time we did this?" she asked and rocked slowly back and forth on me.

I assumed that the question was rhetorical. It hadn't been that long since our first sexual encounter and the experience had been life altering for me. I would remember it for the rest of my life.

"Of course," I answered her anyway with a smile.

"What were you thinking during?" she asked.

"I think I was so excited and shocked at the time that I could hardly form a coherent thought," I admitted. "I do remember how much I loved it when you came. What were you thinking?"

"I couldn't believe someone as hot as you could be so inexperienced. And then you were so good at it."

"I was? Even the first time?" I asked.

"Oh, it was so good," she moaned and rotated her hips slowly. "I knew I wanted to be with you again after that first night."

"Really?"

She nodded and brought my hands up to her breasts.

"I could see that you were nervous but you wanted it as much as I did. You were amazing, baby. I was so happy when you said you wanted to keep seeing me outside of school."

"You were?" I asked. "It made you happy?"

"Mmm," she hummed and moved my hands over her soft skin. "Touch me."

I complied eagerly and ran my thumbs over her nipples repeatedly.

"That feels good," she sighed. "You have amazing hands."

"You have amazing…everything," I told her sincerely. "You're perfect."

She let out a laugh and stilled her movements on me.

"I'm hardly perfect," she protested softly.

I sat up and cupped her face in my hands.

"You are perfect to me," I whispered. "Perfect for me."

She took her bottom lip between her teeth and stared at me.

"How do you always know what to say?" she asked. "If I didn't know any better I would think you had been in a lot of relationships."

"I don't know," I said with a shrug. "I just say what it feels like for me when I'm with you or when I'm thinking about you. You're all that I could ever want."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked, and suddenly she looked a little anxious. "You haven't been with a lot of women. Guys want to…Fuck, I don't know. Spread it around."

_What on earth is she talking about?_

"I don't want that," I said immediately.

She didn't look convinced.

_Is she worried that I'll stray?_

"Isabella, listen to me," I said firmly and made her look into my eyes. "I only want you. I would never betray you and cheat on you. I can't ever hurt you like that. The thought is completely foreign to me."

I kissed her softly.

"I finally found you," I whispered. "Why would I ever want to do something so stupid and risk losing you?"

Isabella looked down and drew a shaky breath.

"You wouldn't be the first," she whispered.

_I wouldn't be the first? What does she mean? The first to do what? We're talking about guys who cheat…Oh my God! Of course!_

It suddenly made perfect sense. Isabella's ex had been unfaithful and as a result she avoided relationships like the plague.

"Your ex?" I asked gently. "The, uh, asshole?"

She nodded and sniffed a little. I lifted her off me; we really shouldn't be having sex while we were talking about her painful past. Instead I wrapped my arms around her and hoped that she would ignore my erection which was now pressed in between our bodies.

"Sweetheart," I said and stroked her hair. "I will never do that to you. I swear to God I will never hurt you."

She looked up at me and blinked back the tears in her eyes.

"I believe you," she said softly. "I know you wouldn't do that to me."

"I wouldn't," I assured her. "Not in a million years. Not if Rita Hayworth or Vivien Leigh showed up on my doorstep naked."

"They're dead, Edward," she chuckled. "It's a pretty unlikely scenario."

"They got a hold of a time machine," I said, being completely ridiculous.

"And why are they naked?" she asked with a grin.

"Um, sadly their clothes didn't make it here in the time travel because they were so outdated that it would have messed up the time-space continuum," I answered rather cleverly in my own opinion.

Isabella threw her head back and laughed. It made my soul soar to know that I had caused this and that I could bring her out of her sad thoughts.

"You are such a geek," she laughed and threw her arms around my neck. "My sexy geeky boyfriend."

"If I'm a geek when what are you?" I asked with a smile.

"I don't know," she asked coyly. "What am I?"

I smiled and kissed her lips.

"You are smart." Kiss. "Beautiful." Kiss. "Incredibly sexy." Kiss. "Funny and adventurous."

I pulled back and looked at her.

"And I'll never know how I got this lucky."

"Make love to me again," she said, almost shyly.

I lifted her up and lowered her onto my erection again. I closed my eyes at the exquisite sensation and listened to her moan.

"No," I breathed. "You make love to me, sweetheart. You know how to do that, don't you?"

"I think so," she whispered and brushed her lips against mine. "You taught me how."

"Then show me," I encouraged and leaned back against the pillows.

I knew that Isabella would show me how she felt using her body rather than her words and I was not disappointed.

We emerged half an hour later, both completely starved after a morning of revelations and lovemaking, and I made us a huge breakfast while Isabella went back into the shower to fix her partially dried and extremely tangled hair.

"Are you coming to class today?" I asked while we were inhaling our food.

She shook her head slowly but didn't elaborate.

"Um, why not?" I asked.

"I just…I can't pretend, you know?" she said.

"Pretend?" I asked dumbly.

"That I'm just your student," she clarified. "When we were just fucking it wasn't a problem but we're more now, right?"

I nodded immediately. We were so much more.

"I'm just scared that everyone will know if they see us talking or something like that," she said. "We shouldn't risk it."

I couldn't help but nod and agree with her. And yet part of me wanted nothing more than to shout it from the rooftops.

_Look, men of the world: This amazing woman is my girlfriend. She is all mine and you can't have her! Na-na-na-na-na! She even said she loves me! Aaand…I made love with her twice this morning plus mind-blowing oral sex in the shower! Who's jealous of me? Just as I thought. Everyone! _

I couldn't stop myself from smiling a little at my own strange thoughts. I sounded like a Neanderthal referring to Isabella as mine in such a way. And yet even the modern man in me liked the sound of that, although I had always been something of a feminist, supporting women's rights. It was a strange predicament. On one hand I loved Isabella's independence and free spirit because it was so different from anyone I had ever met, but I also relished the fact that she needed me to take care of her. I rested my chin in my hand and gazed at her while she ate, my own food completely forgotten. She was so lovely and I couldn't believe that she was my girlfriend. She glanced up at me and pealed with laughter.

"What?" I asked and looked around to find the source of her mirth.

"You!" she exclaimed and pointed at me. "There is no way that you looking at me like that would go by unnoticed in class. I think it's a wise decision for me to stay here today."

"How was I looking at you?" I asked, feeling a little confused.

_I didn't think about anything sexual. _

"Oh, um, you….err, just forget it," she said and looked down.

I was stumped. I had never seen Isabella like this before. She seemed shy and hesitant which was definitely a first. I looked more closely and my jaw dropped.

_No way!_

"Are you…Are you _blushing_?" I asked incredulously.

"No!" she said emphatically and lowered her head even further.

_She is blushing! I can't believe it!_

"Just leave it alone," she growled and muttered angrily to herself under her breath.

I couldn't help myself. The laughter bubbled up inside me and I didn't know how to hold it back. Isabella's head flew up and her eyes shot daggers at me.

"I'm sorry," I gasped and tried to control myself.

She scowled at me, gave me the finger and stood up to clean her plate away. I followed her into the kitchen and wrapped my arms around her from behind.

"I'm sorry," I said again and kissed her neck. "I didn't mean to laugh at you. I just…never thought I would see you blush."

As far as I knew Isabella wasn't shy about anything and blushing seemed so out of character for her.

"Yeah, neither did I," she mumbled. "I haven't done that in years. What the hell are you doing to me, Edward?"  
"I don't know," I murmured. "But I think you do it to me too. I'm different now than when we met, aren't I?"

"Only in some ways," she said softly. "Mostly when it comes to sex."

I rested my chin on her shoulder and held her a little tighter.

"Other than that you're still a huge nerd," she added and poked my ribs with her elbow.

I smiled and kissed her neck again.

"I guess I'll always be like that," I said.

"Good," she whispered and wrapped her arms around mine.

"In which way was I looking at you before?" I asked, hoping that she would tell me now that I couldn't see her face.

I felt her take a deep breath.

"You looked at me like you…uh, like you…"

_Like I love you._

She couldn't finish the sentence and I didn't push her. There had been far too many tears this morning already and I didn't want this whole day to be about crying. It was the day of my final class as Isabella's teacher and after today nothing could stop me from showing the world how I felt about her. Isabella cleared her throat.

"You looked at me like you…"

"I do," I simply whispered in her ear. "With all my heart, Isabella."

She inhaled sharply and turned to face me. I didn't need her to say the actual words. Her eyes spoke volumes as she gazed up at me. I caressed her cheek and smiled before I leaned down to kiss her. When I pulled back her eyes were welling up again.

"No more tears, sweetheart," I whispered. "I want you to be happy."

"I am ridiculously happy," she sniffed. "That's why I'm acting like a fucking crybaby all of a sudden."

She wiped her eyes and I couldn't stop myself from laughing a little.

"So you're saying that I should get used to you crying?" I asked.

"Crying, blushing, the whole shebang," she mumbled. "Apparently I'm a girly-girl now and you only have yourself to blame, Edward."

I laughed again and hugged her to me.

"But if I start wearing pink frilly stuff you need to pick a fight with me. No one should be that happy," she said and glared at me.

"Got it. No pink," I nodded with a grin.

_Although…God, I'm such a pervert for even thinking like this. Oh well, no point in denying it. _

"Although," I added huskily. "I do love your pink parts."

She gaped at me with wide eyes.

"Here," I murmured and traced her lips with the tip of my tongue.

"Here," I whispered and lifted her shirt up to reveal her naked breasts.

I licked and sucked her nipples in turn which made her moan softly. Then I pushed her up against the kitchen counter, pulled up her skirt, dropped to my knees and ripped her panties down.

"Here," I growled and lifted her leg over my shoulder before licking her slowly from entrance to clitoris.

I glanced up at her and smiled against her warm pink flesh.

"Fuck, you're dirty," she moaned. "What happened to the insecure nervous professor I seduced?"

"He's happy and not scared of sex anymore," I answered immediately. "And he wants to please his beautiful girlfriend more than anything."

I accentuated my statement by driving my tongue back into her glistening folds and licking her as if my life depended on it.

"Fuck!" Isabella moaned breathily and gripped my hair with one hand. "You do please me, Edward. God, so much! You're the best!"

_Yes! _

A few minutes later Isabella came almost violently in my mouth. I lapped up every drop of her arousal and moaned against her. She stroked my hair and I licked her gently while she came down from her orgasm.

"Do something for me?" she asked breathlessly.

I looked up at her and grinned.

"You want more, sweetheart?"

She let out a laugh and shook her head.

"I think you've worn me out for now, baby. I need a little recovery time after that one. You were amazing!"

_God, I love when she says something like that!_

"Don't wash up before going to class," she said. "I want you to smell me all day and remember that you're mine."

"Oh God," I groaned. "Who's the dirty one now?"

"That would be me," she laughed. "Will you do that for me?"

I nodded immediately. I would do anything she asked me.

"Good boy," she said with a playful wink. "Now kiss me."

"Where?" I asked and returned her wink.

"I've created a monster," she laughed and pulled me to my feet.

"Edward," she sighed and looked into my eyes.

"My Isabella," I whispered and kissed her slowly and deeply.

An hour later I left for the university. My heart was light and I was so happy that I had to resist the urge to skip to my car. I turned, looked up at my kitchen window and smiled brightly when I saw Isabella. She waved and blew me a kiss. I wanted nothing more than to run back, take her in my arms and forget about the outside world. But somehow I managed to do the responsible thing and left for work.

Today was the last day of my old life where Isabella and I had to sneak around, and soon I would be able to show everyone that I was the luckiest man on the face of the earth. My phone beeped when I was walking through the campus and my heart jumped when I saw that it was from her. It simply said:

'I'm yours.'

I smiled and wrote back.

'You own my heart. I miss you already.'

Her response was immediate.

'Come home soon. I miss you too.'

'Counting the minutes,' I responded and bounced down the halls of the university.

I noticed that everyone in the Literature department that I passed was giving me funny looks. I caught a glimpse of my own reflection in a window and suddenly realized why. My eyes were bright, and I had forgotten my glasses once again. My hair was in disarray and I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. It hadn't really been a conscious decision to dress so casually. I had done it without thinking simply because this was how I had dressed the last few days when I was with Isabella.

_I look like a student!_

But more importantly; I looked blissfully happy and in love.

"Looking forward to the summer, Edward?" Ben asked as he walked past me with a puzzled smile on his face.

I returned the smile and nodded. I felt it deep in my heart: This would be the best summer of my life.

**Smut. Fluff. Smut. Fluff. Let me know if it's getting repetitive. ;)**

**I know that some of you were expecting them to get caught by the university and everything would turn all angsty and cause heart fail and shit. Sorry, not going to happen. That would have been just a little too predictable, wouldn't you agree? This story is like an antidote to angst for many of you and I would be remiss if I suddenly turned the tables on you. I'm not saying that things will be perfect for our couple from now on but no one is getting fired. :)**

**I hope you liked it. Please review if you did. **

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	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Hey everyone!**

**For those of you also reading my story "The Blizzard", this will be old news. For the rest of you it will just be…well, news.**

**I recently discovered that I am pregnant again and I have to be honest and tell you that it was something of a WTF moment. The timing sucks but sometimes nature just defies prophylactics. :) Now that the shock has worn off we're ecstatic and if all goes well we will have our second child in February. However, this also means that my writing time will be diminished since I am dog tired all the time and still battling with "all day sickness", which it should be called in my opinion. Anyway, I will of course continue writing but please be patient with me and keep the "Update now, you lazy git" emails to a minimum as I am extremely cranky due to hormones and quitting smoking. Thank you in advance.**

**As always thank you to everyone who reads and reviews, and of course Melanie who is the best beta and friend imaginable. **

**Here's a ridiculously long chapter. Please enjoy! **

EPOV

"Goddamn it!"

I heard Isabella curse from the office and went in to see what was going on. She had come back from spending the afternoon at the library and we had just had dinner together. Tonight she wasn't going to work on her paper and I had her all to myself. I was giddy with excitement.

"What is it?" I asked as I joined her in the office.

She turned and looked at me. She was frowning but shook her head lightly.

"Nothing. It's nothing," she muttered and gave me a watery smile.

_Oh, it's definitely something. She really is a terrible liar._

"Isabella," I said and cocked my head to one side. "Tell me."

"No. I'm going to sound like a huge bitch if I say something."

"No you won't," I insisted.

"Fine," she sighed. "It's just…you moved my stuff."

She motioned to her books and notes which were now in two neat stacks on the desk as opposed to the clutter I had found when I went in to use the computer earlier. I hadn't really been in my office since she started using it as her work space for her finals and I had no idea that she had made such a mess. My once immaculate office was practically unrecognizable and I had cleaned it up immediately. But I certainly hadn't expected this sort of reaction from her.

"I, uh, I organized it for you," I explained and showed her how the books were now in alphabetical order and her notes were in a binder.

She didn't look like she appreciated it though.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked anxiously.

"No," she sighed again. "It's very sweet of you and I know how much you love order but you sort of screwed up my system."

I almost laughed.

"Well, if you call chaos a system," I mumbled before I could stop myself.

Her eyes darkened.

_Uh-oh…_

Just as I thought she was going to start yelling at me she closed her eyes and took a deep breath instead.

"Look," she said calmly. "I know it doesn't look like a system to you but it has always worked for me. The books were all opened on pages where there were quotes and references that I needed."

_What? That's not a system you can count on!_

Thankfully, I was able to keep my mouth shut this time.

"You don't have them written down anywhere?" I asked hopefully.

She shook her head.

"So…now you have to start all over?" I asked as my heart plummeted.

She nodded and ran her hands through her hair, clearly not happy about this. I had just set back her work considerably.

"I need a cigarette," she mumbled and brushed past me.

I looked at the neat stacks of books and tried to wrap my mind around the fact that this was the wrong way to organize them in Isabella's world. I followed her outside where she sat down on the stoop and lit up.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, unsure if she wanted me out there.

She nodded her head and took another drag.

"It's alright," she said. "You were just trying to help."

I sat down next to her and hesitantly ran my hand up and down her back. She closed her eyes and relaxed visibly under my touch.

"I know we had plans tonight but I really have to work now," she said and took another drag.

"Oh." I couldn't keep the disappointment out of my voice.

"I know," she sighed. "I was looking forward to it too."

"Maybe I can help you so you'll be done faster?" I asked.

She laughed a little and shook her head.

"I don't think that's a very good idea," she chuckled.

"Why not?"

She held her thumb and index finger up to show the small amount of space in between.

"I was this close to going completely apeshit before and I think it'll be best if you just stay away from my books from now on. Is that okay?"

I nodded mutely. I hadn't heard that expression before but I certainly didn't want her to do anything that was named after the feces of a primate.

"I should go and clean up after dinner," I said and left her to finish her cigarette.

I couldn't help but feel a little rejected by Isabella even though it was my fault that she now had to work tonight. I shook my head and started doing the dishes. She had been working almost non-stop these last few days and now that the semester was over for me I didn't have a lot to do. I had missed her company the last nights when I had been alone in the living room and she had been holed up in the office. I knew that I was being ridiculous and naturally her finals had to come first. I was so lucky that she was staying here with me and I still got to hold her every night while we slept and shared meals with her. I was just anxious for her exams to be over and for our summer to start. Suddenly I felt her arms around my waist as she pressed herself against me.

"I'm sorry, baby," she said quietly.

"What for?" I asked. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Yes I did," she sighed. "I shouldn't have said that you couldn't touch my books and I shouldn't have been so ungrateful."

I wiped my hands in a dishtowel and turned to face her.

"Ungrateful?" I asked.

"Yeah, you're basically waiting on me hand and foot, and all you want in return is to spend time with me. I'll work extra hard tomorrow and we can still have our night together."

"No, sweetheart," I said and cupped her face in my hands. "I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have touched your things without permission. I said that you could have the office and I meant it. I'm just a little…enthusiastic when it comes to cleaning."

I leaned down and kissed her gently.

"And I love waiting on you, by the way," I added with a smile. "I've never had anyone to take care of before and it makes me happy to do so."

"Really?" she asked.

"Really," I confirmed and kissed her again. "I love taking care of your needs."

"Mmm," she hummed and ran her hands down my back to grab my butt. "All my needs?"

She pressed herself against me and kissed my neck, making her intentions perfectly clear.

"What about your paper?" I asked.

"Screw the paper," she answered and kneaded my buttocks.

"You do realize that I'm a college professor, right?" I chuckled and held her out at arm's length. "I can't let you neglect your studies in good conscience."

"But I want you," she pouted.

"Tonight," I promised. "Now go study, you bad girl."

Without thinking I gently pushed her towards the office and gave her backside a hard smack. She froze completely and for a terrifying second I thought I might have done something wrong. Then she turned around and gave me a look so filled with lust that my breath hitched in my throat.

_Holy hell. She liked that. A lot!_

She rubbed the spot I had slapped and smiled wickedly.

"Will you be attending to that need as well, Professor?" she asked in a sultry voice.

I swallowed nervously but somehow managed to nod.

"I can't wait," she whispered and sauntered into the office.

_What the hell just happened? _

I leaned on the kitchen counter and took a deep breath. I had just promised Isabella a spanking and now she would expect me to deliver. I had already told her something similar the day my parents walked in on us, but those words were spoken in the heat of passion and I wasn't sure if we were just talking dirty or actually planning a future encounter. Now that doubt was gone. Isabella had definitely liked it and I was in way over my head. Yet again.

I finished doing the dishes with my heart and mind racing. My girlfriend wanted me to spank her and God help me, I really, _really_ wanted to. But how would I successfully perform such a task to her satisfaction? What if I hit her too hard? Should she be naked or dressed? How would I even initiate something like that? I couldn't just to it without some sort of lead up and simply flipping her over during sex to have at it, so to speak, didn't seem right either.

I sighed heavily. I needed help and unfortunately I only knew one person I could turn to. So I did something I never ever thought I would. I texted Emmett and asked if I could meet him at his bar and he agreed. My brother was going to give me sex advice. This could only end badly.

I went into the office again where Isabella was pouring over her books, effectively returning the desk to its former state of chaos.

"Do you mind if I go out for a little while?" I asked.

She looked up and smiled at me.

"No, of course not. Where are you going?"

"Just to see Emmett, have a beer and catch up," I said, omitting the real reason why I needed to see him tonight.

"I think that's a great idea. The girls are busy with school as well and you boys may as well enjoy your freedom while it lasts," she said with a smirk.

"Is that so?" I asked. "Plan on keeping me prisoner later on, are you?"

"I plan on keeping you in bed for at least two days after the finals are over," she said nonchalantly but couldn't hide her smile.

_Two days! Can a person die from having too much sex? Probably. But still, what a way to go!_

"I can't wait," I echoed her words. "But you're sure it's okay that I go out?"

"Yes. Go!" she encouraged. "I'll be here when you get back."

I smiled brightly. She would be here waiting for me. No more coming home to a dark and empty apartment. At least for a little while longer. I pushed that thought away. I didn't want anything negative to ruin this.

"I'll see you soon," I promised and leaned down to kiss her. "Do you want me to bring you anything?"

"I just need you," she said with a smile.

I grinned like an idiot and practically floated out of the apartment. My high didn't wear off until I pulled into the parking lot in front of Emmett's bar and the reality of what I was about to do hit me. It took me five minutes to convince myself to exit the car. I needed to do this for Isabella no matter how embarrassing it would be to ask my little brother about intimate things.

"Hey bro!" Emmett grinned as I walked over his usual table. "I got you a beer."

"Thanks," I said and sat down.

I wasn't sure how to start a conversation like this one and for a minute I just sat there picking at the label on my bottle.

"Did you and Bella split up?" Emmett asked suddenly.

My head shot up.

"No!" I exclaimed, horrified at the thought. "Things have never been better. She agreed to be my girlfriend and everything."

"Then why the hell do you look like so down?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely. "I'm beyond happy. This is just completely unfamiliar territory for me and I guess I'm still worried that I'll ruin this somehow."

_Like if I accidentally hit her too hard and end up hurting her! God, there is no way in hell that I will risk doing that._

"Okay, so what is it that you wanted to ask me? You were really vague on the phone."

"I know. It's because it's sort of a delicate matter and I'm not sure what I am going to do. I don't want to hurt her and she really wants this,"

"Holy shit!" Emmett interrupted. "She's pregnant, isn't she?"

"What? No!" I exclaimed. "If that were the case I know what I would do. I would ask her to marry me and have the baby together."  
_Whoa! That was a revelation. I really would marry her in a heartbeat._

I was momentarily stunned by my own outburst. The thought of marrying her had never entered my mind before but suddenly I knew with absolute certainty that I wanted to marry Isabella someday. Not immediately of course, but someday I would want that.

"Thank God," Emmett said. "I'm not ready to be an uncle yet. So what's the problem?"

I pushed all thought of matrimony away for now and focused on the matter at hand.

"It's not a problem per se," I said. "More like a challenge, really."

"Okay?"

I hesitated.

_Just tell him and be discrete!_

"Isabella wants me to spank her!" I blurted out.

_That's it! From now on I'm not leaving the house without a gag or something! Ooh...A gag. I wonder if Isabella would enjoy wearing one? No! Focus damn it!_

I glanced nervously at my brother. His whole face had lit up and he was grinning widely and rubbing his hands together.

"So this is a sex talk?" he asked. "This night is already way better than what I expected!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"I thought you wanted to talk about your feelings and shit," he scoffed. "You just made my week, bro! So…she wants a spanking, does she? You're a lucky bastard."

"I am?"

"Fuck yeah! That shit's awesome. Some chicks get all hot and bothered when you dominate them. I didn't think your girl was into that though."  
"I, uh, I don't think she is… not seriously, I mean. She said she wants to tie me up as well and sort of…err, use me," I half-whispered although no one was in earshot. "She likes both ways."

"Wait, wait, wait," Emmett said and held up his hands. "You're telling me that not only does your girlfriend want you to tie her up and spank her, but she also wants to tie you up and fuck you? Am I getting that right?"

I nodded.

"Dude, did you just come here to brag because you know I'm not getting any at the moment?" he asked sullenly. "Because that's just mean, man."

"No, I would never…Wait, you and Rosalie aren't…"

"No," he sighed. "She wants to take things slowly."

"And that's alright with you?" I asked, not doing a very good job of keeping disbelief out of my voice.

"It has to be, doesn't it?" he said with an even bigger sigh. "I like her and this is the only way."

"Wow, so you _really_ like her then?"

"Not in that annoying 'over the moon poetry-writing kind of way' like Jasper has going on with the tiny chick, but yeah, I like her. She's…different."

"You mean she doesn't fall for all your tricks and puts out immediately," Jasper said. "And my poetry rocks by the way."

I looked up at him and smiled. None of us had seen him coming over since we had been completely engrossed in our conversation.

"Whatever," Emmett muttered.

"How are things going with the lovely Bella?" Jasper asked and sat down.

_He calls her Bella as well. I have to remember to ask her about that sometime. Why does she let me call her Isabella?_

"Wonderful," I told him truthfully. "She said she would be my girlfriend."

_I have a girlfriend! And not just any girlfriend. The most beautiful and lovely girl in the whole world!_

I knew that I probably shouldn't get this excited every time I thought about it but I couldn't help myself. Isabella was my first girlfriend and I would make damn sure that she was my last as well.

"Really? That's fabulous!" Jasper practically squealed. "Alice was right about the two of you."

_It sounds like she usually is._

"And things are good with you and Alice?" I enquired although it really wasn't necessary. Jasper looked as if he had been lit up from the inside.

"I'm going to marry that girl," he proclaimed proudly.

_What?_

"What?" Emmett sputtered as he echoed my thoughts. "You asked her to marry you?"

"No," Jasper laughed and held up his hands. "Not yet. But someday I will."

He stared dreamily into space and surprisingly I found my mind wander as well and suddenly I had a vision of Bella in the most unusual wedding dress I had ever seen. It was white but that was the only traditional thing about it. It was short, accentuated her curves in a sexy way and had a black silk ribbon around the waist; making her look like the greatest gift I could ever imagine receiving. I wondered if one could even get a dress like that because when I married Isabella I would want her to wear something she loved and there was no doubt in my mind that she would love that dress.

"Aw dude, not you too!" Emmett exclaimed next to me.

"What?" I asked and looked around.

"Stop day-dreaming like Jasper and let's get on with the sex-talk," Emmett said impatiently.

"Ooh, sex-talk," Jasper said. "What are we talking about?"

"Bella wants a spanking and Edward is being a pussy," Emmett stated bluntly.

"I am not!" I half-yelled. "I just…I just don't know if I can hit her. I love her."

"Edward," Jasper said gently. "You're not actually going to hit her. There's a big difference between spanking and hitting."

"There is?"

"Of course," he said. "I'm pretty sure the sort of spanking that Bella wants is all about pleasure."

"But how do I know if I'm doing it too hard?" I asked.

"Just start out gently and as long as she's still moaning you should be fine. You should just tell her to let you know if it gets to be too much. You can always check and see if she's getting wetter while you do it. Oh, and don't hit the same spot over and over again. Spread it around, you know. Ass, upper thighs, pussy lips. Some girls love getting their kitty spanked," he said casually and took a drink.

_Their kitty? Pussy lips? Oh my God!_

I stared at him and felt my cheeks heat up. He was so at ease about the whole thing and it obviously wasn't a big deal for him to talk about something so intimate.

"O-okay," I squeaked. "Um, thank you, Jasper."

"Wow," Emmett said. "You really know your shit, Jazz. Have you done a lot of freaky stuff?"

"I guess," he shrugged. "Sex is fantastic as long as you do it with the right person."

I found myself nodding in complete agreement and Jasper smiled at me when he saw it. Predictably, Emmett was pretending to throw up.

Jasper ignored my brother's antics and focused on me.

"Is there anything else you'd like to know?" he asked sincerely.

"You really don't mind?" I asked.

I had never felt comfortable discussing sex with anyone other than Isabella but I was beginning to see how it might be beneficial to get a few pointers from someone with a lot more experience than myself.

"Not at all," he said with a smile. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Warmth spread through my chest. I had always considered Jasper to being only Emmett's friend and I was the geeky brother who tagged along but now it seemed that he counted me as one of his friends. I nodded and smiled.

"What do you want to know?" he asked.

"Well," I started. "Isabella has a lot more uh, experience than I do and I sort of wanted to surprise her by taking complete control. She's always teaching me new things and I want to bring something to the table as well. Um, so to speak."

"I'm sure you already do," Jasper assured me. "But I see what you mean."

"You should totally tie her up and do stuff to her. Maybe even blindfold her," my brother chimed in. "She likes being tied up, right?"

"I think so," I said. "She did mention something like that once. That's actually a great idea, Em."

I smiled at my brother and he beamed back at me, happy to contribute to the conversation.

"Ooh!" he exclaimed. "You should get some toys too!"

It seemed that my brother was on a roll because Jasper nodded eagerly in agreement.

"Oh, do girls like that?" I asked.

"Totally!" Emmett said. "I've never met a girl who didn't love vibrators."

Images flashed before my eyes of Isabella tied up and naked on my bed, her legs spread widely as I drew orgasm after orgasm from her with a newly purchased toy or two. I could put my mouth on her while I used it and make her climaxes even more intense than usual. That would be fantastic! 

"Where might one get some of those?" I enquired, and tried not to seem ridiculously eager.

"I know just the place! Yay! More shopping!" Jasper shouted while he bounced up and down in his seat.

I decided to trust him and the three of us drove to a store called 'Good Vibrations'. It looked like a regular shop from the outside except it had screens in front of the windows making it impossible to look inside of it.

"Are you sure this place is…uh, clean?" I asked hesitantly as we stood outside.

"I promise," Jasper said. "It's not what you think at all."  
_You don't know what I'm thinking!_

They finally dragged me inside and I looked around. I had expected it to be dark and dank but was completely surprised to learn that it was light, friendly and seemed very hygienic. It looked like any other store when you didn't take the inventory into account of course.

"Holy shit, this place is like pussy heaven!" Emmett boomed and proceeded to laugh.

As crude as his remark was I could certainly see his point. Hanging on the walls were false penises. A lot of false penises in every shape, size and color imaginable. I suddenly felt a little faint. Two months ago I couldn't imagine that I would ever find myself perusing a sex shop. Of course, I also couldn't have imagined having a young and beautiful girlfriend who made my heart swell with love and whom I had mind-blowing sex with.

"Can I help you?" a female voice asked.

I almost jumped out of my skin and blushed furiously.

_Why, oh why does it have to be a woman salesperson? _

_But then again would a man really be any better?_

I looked at the seemingly innocuous middle-aged woman who was dressed in regular clothing and decided that she didn't seem so scary.

"I uh, I need something for my girlfriend," I whispered, feeling ridiculous while I did it.

"Okay," she said. "What did you have in mind?"

I looked around at the wide selection and had no idea what to say. Luckily Jasper came to my rescue.

"Joanne," he said smilingly after having glanced at her nametag. "My friend here is looking for something to make his girlfriend come so hard that she will see God."

_I did that already! Without battery-operated assistance! Ha!_

Joanne merely laughed good-naturedly.

"Well, we can certainly help with that. Any specifics?"

Jasper turned to me.

"Just watch and learn," he grinned.

I followed him and Joanne around the store while they picked out various items. Some I knew what was for, some I didn't. I felt as though I was in a daze. Emmett was off looking at God knows what and Jasper had completely taken over my shopping, saving me from having to stutter my way through the experience. I might just love him.

"Edward, you trust me, right?" he asked when we stood at the counter.

"Err, sure," I answered.

"Good," he smiled widely. "Then buy this stuff for you and Bella. You won't be disappointed."

He motioned to a small pile and I just nodded. Joanne rang it all up and handed me the bag. I managed to mumble a 'thank you' at her before we left, much too soon for Emmett who said he was definitely coming back once Rosalie came to her senses. His words, not mine. I looked in my bag once we were in the car and started going through the things that I had just spent quite a lot of money on. Particularly one item caught my attention.

_What good does this do?_

The vibrator was about the same size as my index finger, a deep purple color and had ridges on the surface.

"Um, Jasper," I said and held it up. "This, uh, isn't it a little small? Are you sure something a little, um, bigger wouldn't be more satisfactory? More in proportion to…uh, the real thing."

_Isabella won't get much pleasure out of this when she's used to my size. Wow, I sound conceited. But if it's the truth it's not conceited, right?_

Both Emmett and Jasper laughed.

"Edward, that isn't for vaginal penetration," Jasper chuckled.

_Huh?_

Both of them looked expectantly at me while suppressing laughs.

"I don't get it," I admitted sheepishly.

"Just think about it," Emmett guffawed. "You're a smart guy."

I shook my head and dropped it into the bag again. I picked up a tube in a matching purple hue and read out loud.

"Astroglide. What is that?"

Emmett snickered.

"It's lube."

_Lube? Am I supposed to know what that is?_

"It's lubrication," Jasper explained. "It makes penetration easier."

"Oh," I simply said, although I didn't know why we would have use for that.

I had never had problems with arousing Isabella in the past.

"I guess I have some research to do," I mumbled, mostly to myself.

"Just call it porn, bro," Emmett grinned. "You're among friends."

"That's not what I," I started, but gave up when both of them laughed again.

I had honestly just intended to look at some articles on more advanced sex since porn had never been very alluring to me. The women were too fake-looking with their silicone implants, dyed hair and heavily tanned skin. I had never managed to watch more than a few minutes before turning it off. But I knew that Jasper and Emmett probably wouldn't believe me so I let them draw their own conclusions. After tonight it would take a lot to embarrass me in front of them. I looked in the bag again and smiled when I noticed that Jasper had picked up handcuffs and a regular sized vibrator. I could definite use those. In fact, I couldn't wait to see Isabella's reaction to each item.

Imagining pleasuring her beautiful naked body with the items was making me all worked up and I was immediately anxious to be with her. I said goodbye to my two companions at the bar, made some lame excuse about being tired which I was sure they didn't believe, thanked both of them profusely for their help and drove out of there like a bat out of hell. I couldn't wait to get home. I took a deep breath before locking myself into my apartment in order to calm myself a little. I couldn't just barge in and demand sex if Isabella was tired from a long day of studying. Difficult as it was I would have to keep my desire under control until I knew for certain that she was still in the mood tonight. I walked into the office and her face lit up when she saw me.

"You're home," she said softly. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, sweetheart," I replied and bent down to give her a slow gentle kiss. "How is everything going?"  
Her books were once again scattered all over her desk and I could only assume that this was a good thing in her world.

"It's getting there," she said with a smile. "I'm almost done."

"I really am sorry," I said and motioned to her books. "I never meant to set you back."  
"I know," she simply said with a smile. "You're forgiven."

A thought hit me.

"Earlier tonight…Was that our first fight as a couple?" I asked.

She laughed and shook her head.

"Oh."

"You sound almost disappointed," she said with a grin.

I laughed a little at my own stupidity and nodded.

"I've never had a girlfriend before and…I don't know. Even the thought of having a lover's spat makes me happy," I admitted.

"I'll go harder on you next time then," she said playfully. What happened earlier hardly qualified as a fight. But then again my frame of reference is probably different from yours."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, seeing how the last fight I was in with a boyfriend consisted of me screaming at him to get his dick out of some skanky French girl's ass while throwing stuff at both of them it takes more than a little disagreement or misunderstanding for me to think of it as fight."

_What? That actually happened to her?_

"Are you serious?" I asked, probably completely wide-eyed.

"As a heart attack," she mumbled and avoided my stare.

"That's awful," I whispered and knelt down next to her to take her hand in mine. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. That you had to see that."

I couldn't fathom what that must have been like. I tried to imagine myself walking in on Isabella and another man but pushed the thought away again immediately. That would never happen! Isabella detested unfaithfulness and I was truly beginning to see why. Of course I hated it as well but in a much more abstract way since it had never happened to me. At least the women I had dated in the past had the decency to stop seeing me once they realized that I was bad in bed.

_No, that's not true._

Isabella had made me believe differently. I was a good lover and always made sure that she came first. I had been a late bloomer and all the sexual experience that most men gained in their teens and twenties I was just beginning to obtain now. But it seemed that I was a quick study in this subject as well and it was as if it was always meant to be Isabella who should awaken my desires. I wanted to keep honing my newly acquired skills and be everything she desired sexually: A gentleman who made sweet love to her, an adventurous playmate who she tried new experiences with and a dominating lover who tied her up and took her roughly. I wanted to be all those things for her because I loved her and because she deserved it.

"I'm so sorry," I repeated and gave her hand a squeeze. "I will never do that to you. You know that, right?"

She nodded and smiled a little.

"I know you wouldn't," she said and then mumbled something under her breath that I couldn't hear.

"What did you say?" I asked gently.

"Nothing. It was stupid," she said dismissively.

"Tell me," I pressed.

"I just said that you're not the sort of guy who would cheat just because his girlfriend won't take it up the ass," she said without blinking.

_Up the…Up the…Up the…_

"Up the…," I choked out. "What?"

"Never mind," she said.

"That's why he cheated?" I asked incredulously. "Because he wanted to…uh, do _that_?"

"I can only assume since I didn't stay long enough to hear him out," she said. "But yeah, he wanted that and I didn't back then."

I couldn't stop my mouth.

"Back then?"

"Yeah, I was only eighteen and I wasn't really into all that kinky shit at the time. Not like now."

She gave me an alluring smile and licked her lips suggestively.

_Does that mean that she likes it…up the…Christ, I can't even think it! Wait…That little vibrator…and the lubrication…It's not for vaginal penetration, Jasper said. Holy shit! It's for her butt! But I can't do that to her. Can I? Will she enjoy that? Probably. Jasper seems to know what he's talking about. Maybe I could…_

I could feel myself gaping up at her like a complete moron from my kneeling position on the floor. She was so casual about this topic which was completely taboo in my mind. I had never considered having sex like that. I mean, before Isabella I had never even had oral sex and the idea of anything besides regular intercourse was just completely foreign to me. And attending to that area in any way was just so…forbidden and naughty and…

_Oh my God, imagine how tight and snug it would be…_

_What the hell?_

Was I…Was I actually becoming aroused thinking about having sex that way?

Yes. Yes, I was.

My pants were becoming uncomfortably tight and I had to stand up.

"Oh, wow," Isabella breathed out.

I looked down and her eyes were fixed on the front of my pants where my erection was visible.

"I, uh."

I honestly didn't know what to say and I was embarrassed by my reaction. Isabella had been sharing something unpleasant with me and I had ended up completely turned on. Clearly, that hadn't been my intention but it had happened none the less. She shocked the hell out of me when she reached out and rubbed me through my pants.

"Oh, baby," she murmured softly. "Look at you."

"I'm sorry," I whispered and tried not to moan. "I didn't mean to."

She smiled up at me and undid my pants.

"Was it because I was talking about anal sex?" she asked and leaned forward to lick the tip of my erection.

I hissed and it felt as though all the blood in my body was travelling to one exact location. She took me all the way in until I felt the back of her throat and I wondered if she didn't have a gag reflex at all. She released me but kept stroking me with her hand.

"Was it?" she asked. "Did your beautiful cock get hard when you thought about fucking my ass?"

_Oh God, I'm going to come if she doesn't stop talking like that!_

I nodded breathlessly and hoped that Isabella wouldn't think any less of me for having such sordid desires. I would never act on it and I would certainly never look elsewhere if Isabella didn't want to do that.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again as she kept working me with her hands. "I only want you, Isabella. I only want what you're comfortable doing. I'll never ever want anyone else. You're…Oh God, that feels good. You're all I want, sweetheart. Only you, only you."

Isabella stood up abruptly and made me sit in the chair with my pants around my ankles. Then she quickly removed her skirt and panties. She went to straddle me but I stopped her before she could.

"Are you ready for me?" I asked and sought her eyes.

She smiled and leaned down to kiss me.

"I'm always ready for you," she whispered.

I slipped my fingers between her bare lips and felt that she was warm and wet already.

_No need for lube there. _

She grabbed a hold of my erection and slid down on it slowly while both of us moaned together. She rocked slowly back and forth on me while we kissed unhurriedly and simply enjoyed the sensation of being joined so intimately. But after everything that had transpired tonight I needed more than sweet lovemaking and apparently so did Isabella because she released my lips and leaned forward to whisper in my ear:

"I got this wet thinking of you fucking my ass, baby. I want you to take me there. I want you to be my first, my only."

_Oh God, oh God, oh my fucking God!_

The thought of being Isabella's first was beyond gratifying. Both because it meant that she had never felt comfortable doing something like that with anyone besides me and also because I would be claiming her…virgin land as my own. It would only ever be me who took her like that and my hard on swelled inside of her at the thought.

"Oh, you like that. Don't you, baby?" she moaned and moved faster on me. "You want to fuck me like that?"

"Yes!" I growled and tugged at the hem of her shirt.

She lifted her arms for me to pull it off her but when I reached her elbows inspiration hit me. Rather than removing it I made her lower her arms down until the tight t-shirt stretched over her back leaving her arms at least somewhat immobilized. It also pushed her breasts forward making them even more enticing. Isabella clearly hadn't expected this move and her eyes widened when she realized that her arms were pinned at her sides. I reached behind her back and twisted the fabric in my hand thus forcing her to arch her back even further. I smirked at her shocked expression and leaned forward to take as much of her breast in my mouth as possible.

"Yes," she moaned and started rotating her hips on me.

I switched from one breast to the other, licking and suckling them until her nipples was erect and she was pushing herself against my mouth to get more. I leaned back in the chair and looked at her. She was breathing heavily and writhing in my lap. Her breasts were wet and glistening from having my mouth on them and I was still in control of her arms.

"Fuck me hard, Isabella," I said out of nowhere. "I want to see your beautiful tits bouncing up and down when you ride me."

"Yes Edward," she whispered and looked at me. Her beautiful brown eyes were hooded with lust "Anything you want."

Immediately she started moving up and down on me at a fast pace and the pleasure was indescribable.

"Fuck, yes," I groaned and gripped her hip with my free hand.

"Lower," she moaned and I raised an eyebrow at her to remind her that I was calling the shots. "Please," she added.

I slipped my hand down and grabbed her backside roughly.

"Yes," she encouraged.

"Keep your hands behind your back," I told her sternly and moved my other hand down.

"I love your firm little ass," I groaned and massaged both of her cheeks. "I want inside of it someday, Isabella. Will you let me do that? Will you let me fuck your ass?"

_What am I saying?_

I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth at this point. I felt consumed with desire for her and completely uninhibited. I had talked dirty to her before and both of us found it to be highly arousing but tonight I had taken it to a whole new level.

"Oh fuck!" Isabella moaned loudly at the sound of my words and ground herself down on me frantically.

"Answer me!" I demanded and smacked her ass with my hand.

"Yes! Yes! I'll let you!" she shouted.

"Yes, you'll let me…what?" I teased and moved my right hand to the front to circle her clit.

"Oh God, I'll let you fuck my ass!" she moaned desperately. "Please make me come!"

I kept rubbing her with my right hand and almost of its own accord my left moved to the cleft between her cheeks. I knew what I was doing but it was as if my lust-filled body was controlling my every move, making me do things I wouldn't normally have the courage to do.

"Right here? You want me right here?" I asked and traced over her opening.

"Yes! Fuck, Edward!" she shouted and jerked on top of me.

"Come for me, Isabella. Come, you dirty girl," I growled and pressed against her clit and her puckered hole at the same time.

She threw her head back and let out a loud cry. Her body convulsed violently and I felt her clamp down on me harder than ever before. I grabbed her hips and brought her down on me again and again to prolong her orgasm.

"Oh, Edward! Harder, please!" she moaned loudly.

_I'll giver you harder!_

I wrapped my arms around her and stood up. Isabella was just coming down from her orgasm and seemed completely dazed.

"What?" she asked and looked so confused that I almost laughed.

I pushed her books to the side and hoped that I didn't mess up her so-called system too much, and then placed her on the desk. I threw her legs over my shoulders, grabbed her hips and pounded into her.

"Oh yes!" Isabella moaned.

Her arms jerked upwards probably to touch me and then she remembered that they were still pinned her side. I held her hands down firmly to remind her that I was in control of her.

"You're mine," I growled and thrust harder. "All mine! You do what I say, got it?"

She nodded immediately.

"Wrap your legs around me," I said. "I'm going to fuck you hard now. Would you like that, baby?"

She nodded frantically and yelped when I leaned forward to capture a puckered pink nipple between my teeth and gave it a bite. I flicked my tongue over it to soothe the sting and Isabella arched her back, pushing her breast into my mouth.

"You like it rough, don't you?" I growled and slammed into her.

"Yes, I love it," she groaned.

I honestly didn't know how I was able to last this long when it felt as amazing as it did. Maybe it was because I wanted her to come again even more than I wanted my own orgasm. With that in mind I stood up straight and reached down between us to massage her clitoris. My thrust grew wilder as Isabella's moans grew louder and she thrashed around on the desk.

"I want you to come again, "I panted. "Come all over me, you bad girl. I want to feel your pussy."

I rubbed her vigorously for a few seconds and I watched as her mouth opened although no sound came out. Then her body stilled completely beneath me and I felt her inner walls flutter wild around my now painfully hard erection. Finally I let myself go and pounded into her, bringing myself closer and closer to complete ecstasy.

"Fuck, Isabella! You feel so good!" I ground out.

I pushed into her amazing warm core one last time and came powerfully.

"Oh! Oh fuck!" I gasped and gripped her tightly in my release.

I collapsed on top of her, struggling to catch my breath as I panted against her chest. I could hear her heart thundering away and placed a soft kiss over it.

"Amazing, so amazing," I mumbled and covered her lips, cheeks and eyelids with kisses.

I pulled out of her and quickly took off my clothes before I picked her limp body up and walked to the bedroom with weak knees where I lay her down on the bed. I removed her shirt and stretched out next to her, pulling her against my chest.

"Are you okay?" I whispered.

Her silence was unsetting to say the least and I was suddenly a little worried if maybe I had taken things too far and been too rough with her.

"Mmm, I feel great," she mumbled. "So sleepy now."

I instantly felt relieved and smiled.

"Tired you out, did I?" I asked cockily.

She let out a small laugh and nodded against my chest.

"You were incredible. Thank you, Edward," she whispered.

"What for?"

"For doing it my way. I love making love with you but I really needed a good hard fuck tonight."

"You think I just did that for you?" I asked with a small laugh and stroked her hair.

"You didn't?" she asked, sounding much more alert now.

"Sweetheart, I'm not nearly as selfless as you give me credit for. I needed to fuck as well tonight. I love being with you in every way. I love being gentle with you and I love being rough with you. All of it is wonderful."

"Even the part about…," she trailed off.

I moved my hand down to her backside and stroked it gently.

"Yes, even that part," I confirmed. "I'm sort of honored that you only want that with me. Is that strange?"

"No, I don't think so," she answered and snuggled closer to me. "Has it been a fantasy of yours?"

"No, I never considered it before tonight," I admitted. "I mean, I know that some people do it but I just never thought of it as an option before."

"It's definitely an option," she said and I could hear her smile. "Do you really want to?"

"Now?" I asked, completely shocked.

"No," she chuckled. "I don't think it's the sort of thing that you just do on a whim. It requires preparation and stuff. But sometime in the future maybe?"

"Oh," I said, feeling relieved that we wouldn't cross that bridge tonight. "Yes, sometime in the future I, uh, I would like that. Um, only if you want to, of course."

"Something to look forward to then," she said as sat up slowly to go to the bathroom. "I think we have a lot to look forward to."

I couldn't agree more and hearing her say that somehow made everything seem more real. Isabella was talking about a future with me and she did it without panicking. She was really here with me, my almost live-in girlfriend and I suddenly dreaded the day when she would return to her own apartment. I wouldn't breach that subject tonight, though. So much had happened already and the last thing I wanted was to push her over the edge because I was needy and wanted her around always.

After I had used the bathroom as well I paused in the doorway and silently watched her lying on the bed. Before I met her I had often fantasized about having a girlfriend and wondered what it might be like not to always sleep alone and have someone else in the bed with me. I walked over and lay down next to her, pulling her close to me until we were spooning which was becoming my favorite sleeping position. I found my previous fantasies to be lacking in every way. I could never have imagined her warmth, her soft skin, her feminine fragrance and how perfect she felt in my arms. I wanted so badly to tell her that I loved her but I didn't want to scare her away. I knew that the words were still scary to her but I still wanted to convey it somehow and I kissed her shoulder softly three times.

"Goodnight sweetheart," I whispered.

"Goodnight baby," she mumbled sleepily.

"Sweet dreams," I said softly and nuzzled her neck.

"I dream of you," she murmured. "Of being with you. You make me so happy."

"You make me happy too," I whispered and swallowed a lump in my throat.

I couldn't get over how amazing our relationship was. A mere fifteen minutes ago I was fucking her wildly on my desk and talking dirty about anal sex. Now that she was in my arms everything about us was warm and tender. She was so precious to me and I held her closer. She hummed softly and held my hand a little tighter. I squeezed hers right back, silently promising to love her, care for her and support her always.

And occasionally spank her. After all, now I had a whole bag of tricks to pull out the next time she acted like a naughty girl. I fell asleep with a smile on my face, a heart filled with love and a mind occupied with dirty plans for my beautiful girlfriend.

**Smutty smut smut. I know, I know. I totally blame my pregnancy hormones. (Although, what was my excuse before?)**

**Edward isn't going to turn into a Dom or anything like that. He's just discovering new sides of his sexuality and having fun with it. **

**Next up will probably be the garden party at his parents' house but first I need to write the next Blizzard chapter because I know you are all anxious to see what Muteward did in the war. **

**Take care until next time and leave me a review if you're all for Edward tying Isabella up and going Dom on her ass for a night. ;)**


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer

**Thank you for all your reviews and messages and once again I am terribly sorry that I don't have time to respond to all of them. I read every single one and they always make me smile. **

**Melanie is my beta goddess and despite a hectic schedule of her own she always manages to look over my chapters while I am asleep on the other side of the world (Well, almost) so that I can post when I get my lazy (and increasingly chubby) ass out of bed. Thank you, my lovely!**

**I don't know about the rest of you, but the all the major angst in fanfic land these days is killing me. (Those of you who are reading Just Wait, which is completely brilliant, will know what I mean.)**

**Please enjoy some fluff! :) **

EPOV

I sighed contently and pulled Isabella a little closer. She stirred and I felt her kiss my neck before she left the bed and went to the bathroom. I must have dozed off because suddenly she was back, sitting next to me while running her hands up and down my chest and stomach.

"Mmm, just give me fifteen more minutes, sweetheart," I mumbled. "Then I'll make love to you again."

She chuckled and I cracked one eye open to look at her. She was smiling lazily and her hair was in wild disarray. So beautiful and perfect.

"I need a break," she grinned. "Don't you?"

I laughed and nodded. I was actually a little relieved that she didn't want sex right at this very moment because the truth was that I felt completely spent.

"Turn over and let me give you a massage," she offered and reached for the lotion on the nightstand.

"No, let me give you one," I insisted and sat up.

She started to shake her head but I made her lie face down and straddled her upper thighs. I warmed the lotion in my hands and ran them up and down her naked back. I wasn't exactly sure what I was doing but I decided to mimic the techniques that Isabella used on me and her appreciative sighs let me know that I was definitely doing something right. I smiled and let my thoughts wander. Isabella's exams were finally over and just as she had promised me she had pretty much kept me in bed for the last two days. We had made love more times than I could keep track of, eaten lots of takeout, slept in each other's arms, talked for hours and watched movies. All the while being completely naked. This whole experience was definitely a first for me and I was thrilled to learn that it was the same for her. I had no idea what time it was and both of us had silenced our phones. It had just been the two of us and I had loved every second of it. Of course I knew that eventually we would need to return to the world outside but I was in no hurry.

Isabella had worked so hard on her finals and she needed a breather. While she had been busy in the office I had been doing my own research on my laptop in the living room. Isabella thought that I was working on an article but nothing could have been further from the truth. I was looking at websites that I never thought I would have an interest in, but I was most intrigued by a lot of the things I read.

I was researching advanced sex. More accurately put, I was looking into the world of dominant/submissive inclinations. Isabella had expressed a desire to be tied up and spanked and I wanted to fulfill that fantasy for her. And I had to admit that the thought also greatly appealed to my own wants. Of course there were things that I came across which were discarded immediately. Intense pain and actual violence would never be something that I was willing to inflict on her and I couldn't for the life of me understand why some people would find that arousing. But as Jasper had told me, there was a big difference between spanking and hitting and from everything I had read it would seem that he was right.

While I researched I would imagine doing the things to Isabella and I would get so aroused by my fantasies that I would practically maul her whenever she emerged for a study break. Thankfully, she didn't mind and if anything she seemed delighted by my enthusiasm and never once rejected my strong advances. She did however insist that I feed her first and I certainly couldn't begrudge her a quick lunch before taking her on the table, up against the wall and if I had enough patience to carry her there, my bed.

I couldn't believe that the man who had been so afraid of sex and intimacy just a few months ago was actually me. Now it felt completely natural to make love with Isabella and I had never been happier in my entire life. And it wasn't just about sex anymore. Not by a long shot. I loved Isabella completely and irrevocably, and even though she hadn't said it since that day in the shower I didn't feel the need to rush anything. I would sometimes open my eyes in the morning and find her already awake. The look in her eyes when she smiled and said good morning to me was all I needed. There was love and I hoped that she saw the same thing in my eyes.

Everything we did together seemed like magic. Even when we disagreed on something it didn't take away the euphoria I felt. The only grey cloud in our otherwise blue skies was the fact that we hadn't discussed what would happen when our hiatus from the real world was over. We had only agreed that Isabella should stay with me while taking her finals and now they were over. I didn't want her to leave but I was avoiding the conversation for fear that she would tell me that she was returning to her own apartment. Logically I knew that it was probably too soon for her to move in. We hadn't been together very long and we still hadn't even taken our relationship out in public.

But the thought of only seeing her a few nights a week was making my heart ache. I wanted her here all the time. I was being greedy and I didn't even care. I had waited my whole life to find her and now that I had I didn't want to let her go again. All the while I had no idea what Isabella felt because I was too cowardly to ask her. A completely irrational part of me was hoping that if I didn't mention anything she would just stay and that would be it. Did I say irrational? Delusional was more like it.

"Mmm, that feels so good."

I blinked and was brought back to reality by Isabella's moan. I had been so absorbed by my musings that I hadn't realized that I was massaging her in an entirely suggestive way. My fingers were splayed out over her buttocks and my thumbs were stroking her bare lips. I spread her legs a little and dipped my thumbs inside her folds, only to find her wet and slightly swollen with arousal. One thumb went to rub her clit and I dipped the other one inside her.

"Yes," she sighed and lifted her hips to get more.

I wasn't even that surprised to discover that I was hard again. My libido seemed to have reverted to the state it was in when I was a much younger man and I was able to keep up with Isabella every step of the way. I spread her cheeks and rubbed my erection against her anus to tease her a little. I couldn't stop myself from imagining what it might be like to take her there and it made me even harder. Ever since our encounter in my office when I had touched her there the thought had been playing in my mind. So far I hadn't done anything more but I knew that I wanted to use the small vibrator on her once I decided to surprise her with the fantasy I was planning.

Isabella writhed beneath me and I scooted down to slip the tip of my erection inside her. I kept it there and squirted more lotion on her buttocks. She flinched a little but then she let out a small laugh and wiggled her backside playfully.

_God, I love her!_

I started massaging her and completely ignored that I hadn't penetrated her.

"Please," Isabella whimpered.

"Please, what?" I asked and brushed over her back entrance with my thumb, spreading the cool lotion around.

"Oh God," she whispered and tried to push her hips up again. "Please, I need your cock inside me."

"Are you sure?" I teased and moved it an inch further inside her amazing tight warmth.

"Yes!" she cried out. "Please, Edward."

I stroked her with my thumb again and smiled when she moaned in response. I was convinced that she would love my surprise by the way she was reacting to my intimate touches. I leaned forward and placed my hands next to her head. Then I bent down and whispered softly in her ear.

"I'll do anything for you, my beautiful girl."

Before she had a chance to respond I buried myself inside her in one swift hard thrust. She cried out in pleasure and I shut my eyes as the sensations washed over me.

_I guess we're not leaving the bed for a while. To hell with the world outside. I have everything I need right here._

The hours drifted away on a sea of love and lust until reality came knocking, rather loudly, the following morning.

"We know she's in there!" Rosalie yelled through the door. "Just let Bella out and no one gets hurt!"

"I guess the break's over," Isabella grinned and started pulling on some clothes.

We had been sleeping peacefully not five minutes earlier before her friends descended upon us, determined to yank Isabella out of my arms. I wanted to be selfish and ask them to leave but I knew I couldn't do that. We had been holed up for days and days, and it was only natural that her friends would be missing her. I sighed and quickly put on a pair of jeans before going out and answering the door. I didn't want my neighbors to think that I was keeping Isabella here against her will and it could certainly be interpreted that way from what Rosalie was yelling.

"I'm coming. Calm the fuck down," I grumbled and yanked the door open.

The girls were grinning like fools and brushed past me immediately.

"Well, hello abs," Alice laughed and patted my stomach playfully.

I blushed a little when I realized that I hadn't bothered putting on a shirt. After spending the last few days completely naked except when I answered the door to get takeout, my clothes suddenly seemed restrictive and uncomfortable.

_Isabella and I should definitely be naked more of the time!_

"Alright, where is she?" Rosalie demanded.

"She's getting dressed," I sighed despondently. "She'll be out in a minute."

"Oh relax already," Rosalie huffed. "You look like we're going to steal her away from you forever."

I knew that I shouldn't be this upset but I just couldn't find the will to care. They were taking my Isabella away, damn it!

_Jesus, I sound like a kid who gets his favorite toy confiscated!_

_Well, in truth I really wasn't done "playing" with her. I'll never get enough of her. God, I wish I had the courage to ask her to move in with me._

But at the same time my mind was still functioning well enough for me to realize just how risky something like that might be. There was no telling how Isabella would react to such an offer and the last thing I wanted was to inadvertently push her away. Things had never been better between us and maybe she needed a little time with her friends, just as they needed her.

"Hey girls, where's the fire?" Isabella asked as she walked out of the bedroom, fully dressed.

"In your pants apparently," Rosalie quipped dryly. "This place reeks of sex."

Isabella laughed and walked over to wrap her arms around my waist. I could certainly understand why Rosalie would say something like that. Isabella and I had made love on every available surface and we hadn't exactly bothered to let any fresh air in. In fact, the entire apartment bore witness to our lazy days and was an utter mess. I looked around at the dirty dishes on the table, take out boxes and empty ice cream containers which would normally send me into a cleaning frenzy. Then I gazed at the beautiful girl by my side who was smiling up at me and thought I about the last four days we had spent together. There was no doubt in my mind:

_It was worth it. Completely worth it._

I returned the smile and Isabella reached up to me. Our lips met and we rushed into a passionate kiss.

"Oh Christ!" Rosalie groaned. "Haven't you had enough?"

_Never!_

I ignored our guests and kissed my girl until we were breathless.

"I miss Jasper," Alice pouted after we finally broke apart. "Maybe we should just let them be and then we can go back to the guys?"

_Excellent idea! I knew I liked you for a reason, Alice. You just mosey on out of here and I'll take good care of Isabella. We'll see you in September then. Buh bye!_

"No!" Rosalie growled. "When the hell did you turn into those girls? The ones who couldn't go one day without seeing their boyfriends? We used to make fun of girls who were like that, remember?"

"Sorry," Alice muttered.

"Yeah. Sorry, Rose," Isabella mumbled and let go of me.

"That's better," Rosalie said with a smile. "Besides, don't you need to go shopping for a certain important event on Saturday, Bella?"

_What event?_

"God, you're right!" Isabella exclaimed and smacked her forehead. "How could I forget the garden party? Yeah, shopping. Definitely."

_Oh my God!_

I finally figured out that they were referring to my parents' Fourth of July party this weekend, which would also be our "coming out" party, so to speak. Immediately I felt nervous. It had completely slipped my mind as well.

"I just need to swing by my place first for a shower and some clean clothes," Isabella said and rushed into the bedroom again.

She came back out with her bag stuffed with dirty laundry and also her toiletries. The she went into the office can came back out with her messenger bag which held her laptop. My heart sank in my chest. She was really leaving now. Isabella glanced at me nervously and shifted her weight.

"Um, we'll wait outside," Alice said tactfully. "It was nice seeing you again, Edward."

I gave her a watery smile and a quick wave goodbye to Rosalie before they left.

"So…" Isabella said. "I guess I should get going."

"Yeah, I guess so," I replied.

Things suddenly felt incredibly awkward between us and I didn't like it one bit.

"Thank you so much for letting me stay here," she said. "I hope I didn't make too much of a mess."

"Of course not. I've loved every second of it," I whispered truthfully and felt my chest tightening.

"I have too," she said and took a step towards me.

I couldn't take the distance between us anymore and pulled her into my arms before crashing my lips against hers in a searing kiss. I groaned when she sucked on my tongue and picked her up to wrap her legs around my waist. Unlike the other times I had done this I didn't push her up against the wall and grind against her. This wasn't about sex. It was about the fact that I simply couldn't get close enough to her. I held her tighter and kissed her as if my life depended on it and in some ways it truly did.

I didn't want everything to change the second Isabella left my apartment. I wanted us to continue what we had started when she came here to stay with me, and I was worried what might happen once she left. Would she still be my girlfriend or would she change her mind once she remembered how many other choices there were out there?

_No, don't think that way. Isabella loves you. She told you, remember?_

I knew it to be true but I was still scared. I had finally found love and happiness, and I was deathly afraid that it would somehow slip through my fingers if I didn't have her with me all of the time.

"Please," I whispered against her lips.

I set her down but kept her body pressed against mine as I cupped her face in my hands and made her look up at me.

"Please," I begged her again, unable to voice my emotions.

_Please love me forever, Isabella. I can't imagine my life without you. No, that's not true. I _can_ imagine it because it was the same lifeless existence I had before I met you and I never want to go back!_

She took one of my hands and placed it over her rapidly beating heart.

"Edward, I-"

She struggled with herself for a few seconds, her gaze holding mine.

"I-"

I could see the tears forming in the corners of her eyes and silenced her with a gentle kiss. Isabella wasn't ready to say the words and that was fine with me. The fact that she wanted to was plenty.

"I'm sorry," she said in a defeated voice and looked down.

"Don't be," I said immediately and placed her hand over my heart.

She looked up at me.

"I know how you feel about me," I whispered. "I feel it too."

She nodded mutely and threw her arms around my neck to kiss me passionately. I returned it eagerly until we were forced to break apart from each other when a car horn honked loudly outside. Isabella laughed and shook her head.

"I guess they're impatient," she said. "In all fairness, I have never gone this long without seeing them."

This time it was my time to nod. I refused to say goodbye to her. I simply couldn't get myself to say the actual words. She picked up her bags and I reached out to help her carry them to the car.

"No," she protested softly. "Can we say goodbye here?"

"Not goodbye," I implored her.

"You're right. Not goodbye," she said seriously. "See you later, then?"

I nodded again. That worked much better.

"See you later," I whispered and kissed her tenderly.

"I'll call you tonight," she promised. "I'll miss you."

"Me too," I mumbled.

And then she left. I sighed and leaned up against the closed door wishing that I had the courage to ask her to stay with me for at least a little while longer. After a few seconds of composing myself I started to clean up automatically. Afterwards I searched the couch cushions and found my phone. I was happy to see that I had a missed call from my brother and a recently sent text asking me if I wanted to work out now that I was a free man again. Obviously he knew about Rosalie and Alice's plan to collect Isabella and I was glad for the distraction. I messaged him that I was up for the gym and whatever else he wanted. The last thing I needed today was to hang around my empty apartment.

I berated myself that I hadn't made any definite plans with Isabella and I didn't know when I would see her again exactly. Today was Thursday and it was plausible that I wouldn't see her until the party Saturday. That seemed like a really long time.

Thankfully, it seemed that the girls were booked solid for the next two days which also meant that Jasper and Emmett didn't have plans. I ended up spending most of my time with them and as much as I missed Isabella I had to admit that it was nice being in the company of men for a change. We went out to dinner Friday and watched an incredibly violent action movie afterwards followed by beers at the bar. Of course we also talked a lot about our respective girlfriends and it thrilled me that I was able to do so. In the past, whenever the subject of women had come up when I was with my friends I couldn't relate and it made me feel left out. That was not the case anymore. Jasper seemed just as in love as I was, and even though Emmett denied it he couldn't hide the way his eyes lit up whenever he mentioned Rosalie's name.

I had hoped that the two of them were far enough along in their relationship for him to invite her to the party, but he had told me in no uncertain terms that neither of them was ready for that. He also confessed that they still hadn't had sex which shocked both Jasper and I. It seemed that my brother really was willing to take things slowly and I secretly commended Rosalie for being smart enough to recognize that this just might prove to be the right approach in getting Emmett to fall for her. I was happy that my brother seemed to be retiring from his womanizing ways and that he had found Rosalie.

I was jittery and extremely nervous when I drove to Isabella's apartment Saturday afternoon to pick her up for the party. Not only was this the first time that we took our relationship out in public, but it was also the first time I had brought a girl home to meet my parents. Ever. Add to it the fact that this wouldn't actually be the first time they met the love of my life. Oh no. That had happened immediately after them listening to us engaging in loud mind-blowing sex followed by my mother glaring at Isabella as if she was a woman of ill repute.

_Jesus. Why on earth is Isabella even agreeing to this? She must be absolutely terrified to see them again!_

I pulled up at her building and took a few calming breaths before I stepped out. I was about to knock on her door when it flew open and Isabella jumped up and pressed her lips against mine.

"I missed you." Kiss. "So fucking much." Kiss. "Baby." Kiss.

"I missed you too, sweetheart," I grinned, feeling ecstatic that she had longed for me as much as I had for her.

She kissed me again and when she pulled back I finally got a good look at her.

_My God!_

"You look…"

Isabella smiled and did an elegant twirl to show off her outfit. I had never seen her in anything like this before. She was wearing a white dress with a black floral print. It was a sleeveless V-neck which flared out just above her knees making it both sexy and classy at the same time, and it was tied with a black sash emphasizing her tiny waist. Her natural mahogany waves had been styled into soft curls and were held back by a few pins above her ears. Her makeup was light and natural looking, she had on black strappy heels and a simple silver necklace with matching earrings. It was exactly the sort of outfit that I had often pictured her in back when I didn't know her and merely saw her as a badly dressed, foul-mouthed nuisance.

_It doesn't look anything like her usual style. Oh God, did she wear this because of me?_

I didn't want her to think that I expected anything like this from her. Truth be told, I hadn't given her wardrobe choices a second thought for a while now. She was simply my Isabella and I no longer cared if we had different taste in clothes. I didn't even think about what she might be wearing today when I drove over here. I was just excited to see her and now I was worried that maybe Isabella had changed her style because she didn't think she would fit in at my parents' formal party.

"You don't like it," she said, as the smile on her face vanished.

"No, I do!" I said immediately. "Are you kidding me? You look…gorgeous. Breathtaking. I can't even…You're stunning Isabella. Truly stunning."

Her smile returned but she was still eyeing me speculatively.

"But then why did you look so…worried?" she asked hesitantly.

"I just…This doesn't really seem like you," I said and motioned to her. "I don't want you to think that you have to change for me or my family. I want you just the way you are."

"Edward," she said softly and gave me a slow tender kiss. "Thank you for saying that."

"I mean it," I continued. "You could have worn one of your skirts and that, uh, 'Jones' t-shirt you love so much. I still would have been proud to introduce you as my girlfriend."

"What t-shirt?" she asked.

"The band one. It says 'meat is murder' or something like that."

"Oh!" she laughed. "They're called 'The Smiths,' baby."

"Smiths, Jones. Whatever," I grinned and looked her up and down again. "But you do look beautiful in that dress."

"Thank you," she said. "Just don't expect me to start wearing stuff like this every day, alright?"  
"I wouldn't dream of it," I said. "Nothing too conservative and no pink."

"Definitely no pink," she laughed and grabbed her purse.

"Are you nervous?" I asked her on the drive over.

"A little," she admitted.

"I am too," I confessed. "I've never brought a girl home with me before."

"I'll be on my best behavior," she promised with a smile.

"Just be yourself," I said. "And don't leave my side for too long."

"Are you kidding me?" she said and gave my hand a squeeze. "Like I would leave a hot piece of ass like you unattended? The party is probably crawling with horny housewives just dying to sink their teeth into some fresh meat."

"Where do you think my parents live?" I laughed. "Wisteria Lane?"

Isabella gave me an amused look and suppressed a grin.

"Yes, I've watched 'Desperate Housewives,'" I said and rolled my eyes. "It's not like I had a thriving social life before I met you, my dear. I pretty much stayed in all the time."

"Didn't it ever get lonely?" she asked softly.

"Sometimes," I nodded. "I just didn't realize it until I started spending all those nights with you. I've really missed you the last two days even though I've been out with my brother and Jasper."  
"I've missed you too. I almost called you Thursday night when I came home from dinner with the girls."

"Why didn't you?" I asked, wishing that she had.

"I don't know. I didn't want to seem too…clingy, I guess?"

She shot me a nervous look and I squeezed her hand to reassure her.

"You could never seem clingy to me. I love spending time with you," I said and gave her a smile.

"So you wouldn't mind if I stay over a few nights a week?" she asked.

"Mind?" I laughed. "No, Isabella. I definitely wouldn't mind. In fact, I think you should stay over at **least** four nights a week."

"Really?" she asked. "Because I will, you know."

I laughed again. That was hardly a threat she was making.

"Excellent," I said, smiling widely. "It's settled then- four night minimum."

I breathed out a sigh of relief. Isabella wasn't moving in just yet but this was definitely a step in the right direction. I glanced at her and smiled. To think that I would get to spend at least four nights a week with her. It didn't seem real somehow.

"Who is going to be at this party anyway?" she asked as we drove onto the street my parents lived on.

"Family and a lot of my parents' friends from the club."  
"The club?" she asked.

"Country club," I said.

"Are your parents like society or something?" Isabella asked and eyed all the large houses in the neighbourhood.

"Not really. My dad's a doctor and a rather successful one at that and my mom works in real-estate. I guess they know a lot of rich people though," I admitted.

"Huh. And you didn't want to follow in your dad's footsteps and become a doctor as well?" she asked as we pulled up at the house.

"No way!" I said emphatically. "I love literature. Always have, really. Plus I'm not that great with blood."

"Neither am I," Isabella said with a smile. "Hey, we finally found something we have in common!"

I leaned over and kissed her.

"We have plenty of things in common, sweetheart. We want to spend a lot of time together, right?"

She nodded.

"And we can't keep our hands off each other?"

"Understatement," she laughed.

"We both love wine, music, literature, movies and Italian food."

"Also true," she nodded.

"See? There's plenty," I said. "Are you ready to head inside?"

She took a deep breath and nodded again.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

I jumped out of the car and rushed to her side to offer her my hand when she stepped out. She gave me a curious look.

"More gentleman stuff?" she asked and quirked an eyebrow.

"You may as well get used to it," I said and laced our fingers.

"Wow," she said and looked at our joined hands. "We're really doing this. Out in public and everything."

"Are you alright?" I asked anxiously.

_Please don't panic, Isabella!_

"Do me a favor?" she asked timidly.

"Anything," I promised.

"Kiss me."

I wrapped my arms around her small frame and kissed her deeply, pouring all my love for her into it. I pulled back and gazed into her beautiful brown eyes.

"Don't be scared," I whispered. "They'll love you."

"You think so?"

"I know so. Do you know why?"

She shook her head.

"Because they'll see how great we are together and they'll see how much I adore you. You're my girlfriend and you make me so incredibly happy, Isabella. You have shown me how to live."

"You make me happy too, Edward. I never knew it could be like this," she said softly.

"Neither did I."

We kissed again and she sighed when we broke apart.

"I'm so lucky that I have you," she said.

"I think it's the other way around," I argued.

"Well, I guess we can't agree on everything," she said and gave me a wink.

"Are you ready now?" I asked gently.

"Yes, let's go."

We only walked a few steps towards the house before she stopped abruptly.

"Isabella?"

"I just need to do one more thing," she said and took a deep breath.

"Fuck, fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck," she said under her breath.

_What the?_

"What on earth was that?" I laughed.

"Just getting all of them out now. My way of ensuring that I don't offend anyone with my dirty mouth," she grinned and grabbed my hand.

"I like your dirty mouth," I purred and bent down to kiss her neck.

"I suspected as much," she said and batted her lashes at me. "Do you need to get any bad words out?"

"I think I'm good," I grinned. "I don't really swear outside the bedroom- much."

We walked around the house going directly into the garden where I knew that everyone would be gathered for cocktails by now. We had only just turned the corner before we were practically pushed back by a flushed Emmett.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked.

"Dude, Tanya is here," he said in an ominous-sounding voice.

_What? No! Oh God! _

"Fuckety, fuck, fuck!" I whispered as all the color drained from my face.

**Oooh, Tanya. What's her deal?**

**I know this chapter was a little shorter than usual but I wanted to get it out before the weekend where I never have time to write. Next up, more Blizzard and Muteward.**

**Take care until next time. **

**Oh, and I keep forgetting to mention this. This story is nominated in the All Human Twilight Awards for 'Fanfic you couldn't stop reading' which is really cool and I want to thank whoever nominated it. **** And you can of course vote if you want.**


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Hey everyone, sorry for the delay. I try to update every two weeks but sometimes time slips away. Thank you so much for your continued support, understanding and well-wishing on my pregnancy. I am almost twenty weeks and we're going in for an ultrasound on Tuesday. Boy or girl? I can't wait to find out! :)**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews and reactions to Tanya's arrival. I probably should have mentioned that you haven't heard about her before in this story. A lot of you were like "who is she again?" Sorry, my bad. **

**Melanie, thank you for all your hard work and for caring so much about both me and my stories. You are the most wonderful beta/sidekick that a girl could ask for. **

**Now on with the show. Enjoy!**

EPOV

_Why is Tanya here? I haven't seen her in years and then she shows up the day I bring my girlfriend home? No! This is so unfair!_

If there was one person in the world who I didn't want Isabella to meet it was Tanya and now it seemed inevitable that she would.

"Who's Tanya?" Isabella asked and looked between myself and Emmett.

"Uh…she…uh," I said moronically, trying to buy some time to figure out how I should put this delicately.

"She popped Edward's cherry," Emmett said after a few seconds.

_What? How the hell does he know that?_

"Emmett!" I hissed.

"Sorry," he said with a shrug. "But she did, didn't she?"

_Yes, but…But…Oh, I hate this!_

"H-How did you even…?" I managed to choke out.

"I saw her coming out of your room that night of the party and…Yeah, that's how I know," he said and looked away.

I could tell that he was holding something back and I definitely knew my brother well enough to know that he wouldn't have let an opportunity like that go by. He would have asked Tanya why she was in my room and not at the party downstairs and had probably made more than a few lewd innuendoes to go with his question.

There was only one possible explanation: She had told him what transpired in my bedroom. She had told him everything.

That was why he knew that I didn't want to see her again, why he had never teased me after he found out and never fished for details. Emmett may have been a jokester but he was never cruel. The fact that he had never mentioned this to me before confirmed that he knew how awful it had been or he wouldn't have been able to shut up about it.

"Okay," Isabella said slowly and gave my hand a squeeze. "That has got to be a little uncomfortable."

That was something of an understatement.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to her.

I knew that Isabella was nervous about attending this party and the fact that she would now come face to face with a woman that I had slept with couldn't make it any easier for her. I knew that it would definitely put me on edge if I had to meet one of Isabella's former lovers. I would probably become a little jealous, if I was being perfectly honest.

_A little? Making polite small talk with a man who has been inside your woman? Try insanely jealous!_

"Don't apologize," she said softly and tugged on my shirt collar to make me lean down to her.

Her lips were warm and gentle against mine, and I relaxed a little.

"Let's go and say hello to your parents," she said when she pulled back.

I nodded and wrapped my arm around her waist.

"Thank you for the warning," I said to Emmett who gave me a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

"No problem. You know I've got your back," he said.

Emmet walked us around the house and into the garden.

"Holy shi….shish kebab!" Isabella exclaimed.

Emmett laughed boisterously and I smiled.

"Nice save, Bella," he said.

"Thanks. I'm trying to be classy here," she grinned. "Your parents seriously went all out."

She motioned to the set up in the garden with an awed expression on her face. I could understand her reaction. The lawn was littered with white garden party tents, tables, chairs and people all in semi-formal wear. I was used to the sight by now but for a newcomer like Isabella I could see how it would seem over the top.

"Yeah, mom is all about the parties," Emmett said. "This is nothing, though. Just wait until Christmas."

_Christmas! That's almost six months away!_

I held my breath as I waited for her response. Emmett had just mentioned a family event and I was anxious that Isabella wouldn't like being put on the spot like that. I also knew that the upcoming holiday season would be the first one she would spend without any family of her own and while I secretly hoped that she would want to be with me, I had never mentioned this for fear that it would be too much for her to handle. She looked up at me and I tried to seem as though it was no big deal by giving her a smile.

"I can't wait," she said softly and leaned into my side.

_Oh my God! _

All efforts to act casual were doomed and a huge smile spread across my face at the sound of her words. She had basically just told me that she would still be with me in six months! I hadn't been overly concerned that Isabella might break things off with me since everything had been wonderful between us, but hearing her make this sort of commitment filled my heart with joy. If we hadn't been in the presence of my family and half the country club I would have kissed the hell out of her. But seeing how we were I managed to control myself and simply brushed my lips against her soft cheek while I whispered in her ear:

"Me either, sweetheart."

Apparently Isabella didn't harbor any of the same reservations about public displays of affection because she grasped my chin and turned her face to kiss me properly. We managed to keep it relatively chaste which I was extremely grateful for when I heard my parents approach us.

"Look who I found," Emmett said and motioned to us as we pulled away from each other.

"Hello son," my father said and gave me a hug.

My mother followed suit and both of them looked expectantly at me with subtle side glances to Isabella. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. It would seem that my parents had every intention of pretending that they had never been introduced to the woman at my side who was currently fidgeting nervously and trying to smooth back her curls. As if they could ever forget walking in on the sounds of their firstborn having sex! Yes, it had been highly embarrassing when it happened but now I wasn't at all ashamed of the fact that I enjoyed amazing sex with an even more amazing woman.

"Mom, dad, you remember Isabella," I said and gave them a pointed look. "My girlfriend."

_Now it's official and everything!_

My father was quick to respond.

"Yes, wonderful to see you again, Isabella. You look lovely."  
He surprised me when he proceeded to take her hand and kiss it. Isabella blushed and I didn't know whether to smile at her adorable shyness, which was something I rarely saw in her, or pull her back to me and glare at my father for embarrassing her.

"Thank you for having me, Dr. Cullen," she said and gave him a dazzling smile.

"Please call me Carlisle," my father crooned and I knew that he had been completely charmed by her.

Next, I looked imploring at my mother.

_Please, please be nice to her, mom! She means the world to me!_

"Lovely to see you again, my dear," my mother said and grasped Isabella's outstretched hand with both of hers. "Thank you for coming here today."

_Thank God! And thank you, mom!_

"Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Cullen," she said. "Everything looks beautiful."

"Thank you. You must call me Esme, please. Mrs. Cullen is my mother in law who you will undoubtedly meet today," she said with a wry smile.

My mother had never gotten along with my grandmother and she usually stayed as far away from Gran as possible at these functions.

"I look forward to it," Isabella replied politely.

"Yes, well. We'll see about that," my mother added under her breath which made both my father and Emmett chuckle.

"We have to go and mingle for a little bit. Please have a drink and show Isabella a good time," my mother said to me and pointed to the bar, as though I didn't know where it was located after all these years.

"I will," I said and pulled her close to my side again before I led her away. "Thirsty, my dear?"

Isabella laughed.

"Why yes, darling," she said and batted her lashes in a coy manner. "I feel quite parched."

I laughed as well. This whole situation was so ridiculously formal and it wasn't who we were at all. Isabella and I were jeans and a t-shirt, sitting on the couch all cuddled up watching a movie or listening to music. Well, actually Isabella was inappropriately short skirts which I loved on her and I was more of a button-down shirt kind of man. But the sentiment remained. We were casual and this setting was not one we were comfortable in. There was nothing to do but laugh at it, and I felt so incredibly happy knowing that tonight we would be home again where we could be ourselves. I would peel the beautiful but much too formal dress off her, lose my suit and be naked with her. We didn't necessarily have to make love. Simply enjoying her natural beauty was enough. Okay, that was a lie. We hadn't been together for a few days and I knew that I wanted to be with her in every way the second we got to my place.

_How many times did I just use the word "we"? It doesn't matter. I love doing it!_

"What are you thinking about?" Isabella asked.

"Getting you out of that dress," I said bluntly, wagging my eyebrows at her in an Emmett worthy imitation.

"You read my mind," she grinned. "But we should probably stay for a little while, don't you think?"

"I suppose," I said with a pout which made her smile again.

We had some wine and I noticed that people were watching us closely. Isabella noticed as well.

"Why is everyone staring at us?" she whispered.

"They're wondering what on earth a gorgeous woman like you is doing with someone like me," I half-joked.

Truthfully, I still didn't fully comprehend what Isabella saw in me that she couldn't easily get elsewhere. It seemed like a dream that she had picked me out of all the men who clearly desired her. Even now at the party I could feel their eyes on her. Men who were old enough to be her father were looking appreciatively at her and while I could certainly understand why, it didn't make me any less irritated. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me, sending a clear message to everyone who might be entertaining themselves with thoughts of her.

_Mine. She is mine. She is all mine._

Immediately I felt guilty for thinking about her in such a horribly possessive manner. Isabella was her own person and I had no claim on her. At least not in the way that I had just been thinking.

"That's ridiculous," she scoffed. "You look hot, baby. Half the women here are undressing you with their eyes as we speak."

"The men are doing the same to you," I countered.

"Well, they can't have me," she said with a sexy smile. "I'm _your_ girlfriend and you are _my_ boyfriend, right?"  
I nodded eagerly.

"They can't have you either," she continued and glanced around the garden. "Especially not that redhead with the huge tits over there. She's ogling you as if she knows what you look like naked."  
My blood turned to ice. I knew which redhead she was referring to although Tanya had always called the color of her hair strawberry blonde, as if that was somehow fancier. I tried to look discretely in her direction but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to see her. She knew a lot more than just what my naked body looked like and I hated it.

"She does know," I whispered. "That's Tanya."  
Isabella stood a little taller and wrapped her arm around my waist.

"Well, that puma better stay away from you," she growled and pressed herself against me. "She's up to no good, I can tell. And she needs to keep her eyes to herself."

"Why do you call her a puma?" I asked, feeling dazed knowing that Tanya was looking at me at this very moment.

"She's a little too young to be a cougar," Isabella said, as if that cleared things up. I still had no idea what she was talking about but decided not to ask.

"What are you two whispering about?" Emmett asked as he approached us.

"Something about pumas and cougars," I mumbled and drained my drink quickly.

"What?"

"I was just saying that that Tanya woman is eyeing Edward like she wants a piece of his man meat," Isabella explained. "And that's she's not quite old enough to be a cougar."

_Man meat? Wait…my penis? Absolutely not. Even if that were the case she certainly couldn't have it. It's for Isabella's enjoyment solely. _

"True," Emmett nodded. "But she definitely has potential."

He smiled at Isabella.

"But I think you can take her anyway."  
"Are you kidding me?" Isabella said with a grin. "She better not try anything. I'm a freaking lioness. I'll kick her ass!"

Emmett laughed loudly and even I had to smile at her feistiness. I was still uncomfortable and felt as though I was on display. I could feel Tanya's eyes on me and even though Isabella was glued to my side it didn't lessen my anxiety completely.

"Uh-oh," Emmett stage-whispered suddenly. "Looks like the puma is making her move. She's coming over."  
_Oh no, no, no!_

"Oh God," I croaked.

My heart rate was already spiking and I needed to get out of there.

"Let me give you a tour of the house," I said to Isabella, pleading with my eyes for her to come with me. Now!

"I'll run interference," Emmett said quickly and walked away from us.

"Tanya! Long time, no see!" I heard him boom as I practically yanked Isabella with me and escaped into the house.

I started to show her around on auto-pilot when she suddenly pulled on my arm.

"Hey!" she said and made me look at her. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

I sighed.

"I just don't want to see her," I said vaguely.

"Why?" she demanded. "I know it's a little awkward but we can't spend the rest of the party running away whenever she comes near."

_I can't tell her! This is so embarrassing!_

"Please talk to me, baby," she said softly and looked up at me.

"Okay, let's go somewhere a little more private," I said with a defeated nod.

We walked upstairs and as we entered the bedroom where I had spent my childhood and youth it all came rushing back to me:

Tanya and I in that bed together, both of us slightly drunk: Me shaking with nerves and her not responding to my fumbling touches. I cringed inwardly. I didn't want Isabella to know that side of me. I was different with her; confidant and secure in my sexuality. Isabella would never make me feel inadequate or hurt me just because she could. She was wild and adventurous but also tender and loving which was exactly what I needed. With Isabella I was able to explore and discover new things that we both enjoyed in the bedroom without feeling embarrassed. In a word, she was perfect for me.

Therefore I was extremely reluctant to let her know about my sexual past, but I also knew that honesty was always the best policy.

"Wow, looks like you were a fuddy-duddy even when you were a teenager," Isabella teased with a sweet smile when she looked at my alphabetized books from school.

I chuckled and nodded. I had always been a stickler for order while it seemed that Isabella preferred chaos. It was interesting how we still seemed to fit together despite our vast differences and it made me smile.

"So…Your ex is here," she said and sat down on the edge of my bed, effectively cutting to the chase.

"No, she was never my girlfriend," I said. "You're my first."

_And hopefully last!_

"Right, you said that before," she nodded. "So you guys just had a casual thing going or…?"

"Not really," I said. "I mean, I've known her my whole life basically. Our parents are friends but she never gave me the time of day but I…I developed a crush anyway. It was stupid."

_I practically followed her around like a puppy dog. God, I was so stupid!_

I hesitated for a few seconds.

"We only did it once. Um, had sex, I mean."

"Oh. And you were hoping that it might be more?" Isabella ventured.

I nodded.

"Yeah, I thought it meant that she wanted to be my girlfriend. I was…naïve."

"How old were you?" she asked gently and reached out her hand to me.

I took it and sat down next to her on the bed.

"Twenty-one."

Isabella made a surprised noise.

"Late bloomer, I guess," I said with a grimace.

"That's alright. It's better to wait and not do it too early, I think," she reassured me.

"I guess. I wish I would have waited even longer."

_I should have held out for you, my Isabella. It would have definitely been worth it._

"So I take it that it wasn't what you hoped it would be?" she concluded.

"Not even close," I admitted and looked down to hide my face. "It was awful and she was…mean."

"What?"

"She was mean," I said again.

"No, I heard you the first time, but what do you mean when you say that?"

I really didn't want to tell Isabella. I had never felt more humiliated than after Tanya and I had sex. She hadn't made any allowances for my nervousness or the fact that it was my first time. And looking back on it with what I now knew, I could clearly see how lazy and selfishly she had behaved. She had expected me to do all the work while she lay there like a dead fish. I didn't have any practice in restraint and try as I might I couldn't last longer than maybe a minute or two before I came. She had looked up at me disbelievingly and asked if that was it, even though it was pretty evident that I was done. But the worst part had happened when she got up to put her clothes back on. Wanting to redeem myself I asked her if we could do it again. I figured that I would last longer and I wanted to do whatever I could to make her climax. I didn't like feeling like a failure and I hoped that she would give me another chance. But she hadn't done that. She had laughed at me and left without another word.

I didn't want Isabella to know that, and I especially didn't want her to know how I had sobbed into my pillow that night because I felt like I wasn't a real man. Even in those days Emmett had a lot of success with the opposite sex and the phone was constantly ringing off the hook with different girls who all wanted to talk to my brother. Never once was there a call like that for me. I suppose in a way I had hoped that being good in bed was genetic, but after my experience with Tanya I was convinced otherwise.

"She didn't have an orgasm," I admitted. "And when I wanted to do it again to make it better for her, she…"

I swallowed nervously.

"She what?" Isabella asked softly.

"She…she _laughed_ at me. Like the idea of sleeping with me again was utterly ridiculous and pointless."

Isabella inhaled sharply next to me and tightened her hold on my hand. The silence in the room was deafening.

"Please say something," I whispered, afraid to look at her.

"What. A. Fucking. Bitch," Isabella said slowly, punctuating every word.

"Yeah," I said and shrugged. "It wasn't exactly an ideal introduction to sex, and I guess now you know why I was so awkward when we first started sleeping together."

"You didn't seem awkward to me," she said. "You were nervous, sure, but I figured that was just because I was your student and you were worried that it would get you in trouble. I never doubted that you wanted me and you certainly didn't disappoint me in any way."

"I don't know why it's so different with you. Even the first time it was different. You just felt…right."

Isabella leaned into my side.

"You _feel_ right," I corrected and finally raised my head to look at her.

Her eyes didn't show any judgment but radiated tenderness and understanding.

"Thank you for telling me," she said. "She shouldn't have treated you like that. You deserve so much better, but if it's any consolation not very many have a great first time."

"Really?"

I hadn't ever discussed intimate matters with anyone except Isabella and therefore I didn't know a lot about other people's sex lives. Well, except Emmett's, of course, and I always took everything he said with a grain of salt. Or actually a big ole pile of salt.

"I hardly know anyone who actually enjoyed it. Girls mostly remember the pain, and guys worry because it was over so fast. You're not alone in wishing that you had waited for the right person," she said with a hint of regret in her voice.

"How old were you?" I asked gently. "Your first time, I mean."

I realized that the only thing I knew about Isabella's sexual past was the fact that she hadn't wanted to have anal sex with her ex-boyfriend and that had led him to be unfaithful. I could only assume that with Isabella's level of experience that she had started her sexual journey a lot earlier in life than I had.

"I had just turned sixteen," she sighed. "I was way too young now that I look back on it."

"Why did you do it?" I asked.

"I was stupid," she said and rolled her eyes. "I felt pressured by my boyfriend. He was experienced and I was infatuated, and did not want to lose him. Age old story."

"I'm sorry," I whispered and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Was it bad?"

"The worst," she groaned. "It hurt like a motherfucker and afterwards he just rolled off me and fell asleep. Asshole!"

_What a cad! How could he have treated her like that? _

"Are we talking about the same, uh, asshole who you caught cheating?" I asked.

"The very same," she said bitterly. "I was with him for more than two years."

_Two years? Wow, that is a really long time!_

Suddenly I felt like such a novice again compared to her. I may have been ten years older but Isabella had so much life experience already. She had been in an actual relationship and before I met her I had never made it past the tenth date. I was catching up on the sexual aspects but I still had no idea what it took to be a good boyfriend. Isabella had probably already experienced all the things I wanted with her: Spending holidays together as a couple, anniversaries and just everyday life.

"Two years?" I asked quietly. "You were really serious then."  
"You have nothing to be jealous of," she said immediately.

"I wasn't…"

She arched an eyebrow at me.

"Okay, maybe I was. Just a little," I admitted.

"Please don't be," she said imploringly. "What we have is so much better."  
"Really?"

"Yes!" she insisted. "I was just a dumb kid when I was with James and I didn't know anything about life or what I wanted out of a relationship. He played me like a goddamn fiddle and I wouldn't be at all surprised if I found out that he cheated on me the whole time we were together. He fucked me over good, Edward and I can't believe I wasted two years of my life with him. It was so fucking stupid! The way he treated me…He…he…"

Her fists were clenched and she was getting very upset. I wrapped my arms around her.

"Shh…You don't have to tell me anything else, sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business," I said.

She relaxed in my embrace and exhaled shakily.

"No, I want to tell you everything," she said softly. "Just maybe not right now?"

"Whatever you want," I whispered.

"I want you to know me. Even the bad stuff," she said quietly.

She pulled back slightly and looked at me.

"That's the reason why I was reluctant about us becoming boyfriend and girlfriend," she added, almost apologetically. "Because he was so rotten to me."

"I understand," I said immediately. "You don't have to explain. I am really happy that you decided to take a chance on me, though," I added with a smile.

"I am too," she said and put her head on my shoulder. "You're already a much better boyfriend than he ever was."

"Really?" I asked again.

I probably shouldn't ask her this because it made me seem needy and insecure, which frankly wasn't that far off, but I liked hearing that I was doing something right in the way I was with her. I wanted to make her happy and it was nice to know that my natural instincts were good outside of the bedroom as well.

"Really," she confirmed. "I should have known immediately that you would be good to me. The way you looked at me that first night."  
"Which way was that?" I asked curiously.

"Like I was someone special."  
"You are," I said immediately pulling her closer to emphasize the fact.

"And you wanted to please me so badly," she added. "You wanted me to feel good too. It wasn't just about getting off."

"It wasn't," I nodded. "It was a revelation. I never thought I could make a woman feel what you felt and make the noises you made. It was incredible!"  
I smiled at the memory.

"And I made you come," I added, just a little bit smugly.

Isabella laughed softly.

"You sure did. You're the best lover I've ever had and the most wonderful boyfriend."

Her sweet words made me feel warm all over and they healed a lot of the old wounds my male pride had suffered over the years, starting with the night I lost my virginity to a cold and unfeeling woman.

"I guess we found another thing we have in common: A crappy first time," she said after a few seconds as if she had read my mind.

That was certainly true. How different would I have turned out if my first sexual experience had been with someone sweet and understanding? I probably wouldn't have spent the better part of my twenties feeling apprehensive about being intimate before I finally gave up on the whole thing and became celibate. But it was pointless to think such thoughts and now I had something that was so much better than a lot of notches on my bedpost. I had a wonderful girlfriend who made my heart sing and made my body quiver with carnal pleasure. Despite my previous failures when it came to women it would seem that I had now achieved the greatest success I could think of: A loving relationship, which was what I had always dreamed about in my solitary years.

"I'm sorry I dragged you up here," I said and turned my head slightly to kiss her forehead. "I just didn't want to see her again and I was worried what she might say. I'm pretty sure she told Emmett how bad I was or he would have wanted details."

Isabella shook her head lightly.

"What a bitch," she said again. "You were nervous and she should have known better. I mean, she wasn't a virgin too, right?"

"No, definitely not," I answered. "I guess she just used me and I was so stupid that I actually thought she might feel something for me."

"It wasn't stupid at all," she said and looked into my eyes. "She was the stupid one, Edward. She could have had you and instead she hurt you. I hate that she did that to you."

"I hate your ex-boyfriend," I said with a small smile. "He shouldn't have treated you badly and he shouldn't have cheated on you, but I'm glad that you're not with him anymore. I'm glad that you're with me."

That was just about the biggest understatement I had ever made but I didn't want to overwhelm her by professing my undying devotion and love. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her gently.

"You make me so happy," I whispered. "I love being your boyfriend."

Isabella surprised me by crawling into my lap and straddling me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I pulled her closer until my chest was touching hers.

"My Isabella," I whispered just before her lips connected with mine.

It was the sweetest kiss we had ever shared. Our breath mingled and our lips moved effortlessly together, convincing me that it was meant to be. That we were meant to be together. I was so in love with her that it made my heart ache and each and every day I spent with her was an adventure. Being with her had altered me so much and she made me feel truly alive for the first time in my somewhat long life. She accepted me for who I was and never once had she asked me to change. The positive alterations in me had happened organically as she had swept away the metaphorical cobwebs in my mind and in my heart. I felt young, happy and excited about the future, and I knew that it was all thanks to her.

This sweet girl in my arms, who I had thought was so wrong for me, had turned out to be my salvation from a dreary existence without laughter, passion or love. What would I have become without her? I would have been old before my age and never aware of how wonderful life could be. I held her tighter to me. I needed to be closer to her. I needed to feel her skin on my skin.

As though Isabella read my mind yet again, she started to yank her dress up around her waist and released my lips for a second to pull it off in a fluid motion. None of us said a word as we quickly undressed each other. We both knew what we needed at this very moment and it didn't matter that there was a party going on downstairs. Right now we needed to come together in the most intimate of ways. I moved back on the bed until I was leaning against the headboard and Isabella followed, naked and flushed with eyes that burned with desire. She climbed on top of me and my lips and hands immediately sought her warm soft skin.

"Edward, oh God, Edward," she sighed as I kissed, licked and stroked her curves until she started rocking against me and I knew that she was ready to receive me.

She lifted herself up and we looked into each other's eyes for the longest time before she lowered herself onto me slowly and we were finally one. Rather than moving immediately like she always did when she was on top, Isabella sat perfectly still, breathing rapidly with her eyes closed. I reached up my hand and caressed her soft cheek, suddenly worried that something was wrong. When she opened her eyes they were filled with emotion and she blinked back the tears that I clearly saw.

"Isabella," I whispered. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

She shook her head emphatically.

"Nothing, nothing is wrong," she insisted.

Her eyes swept over my face, as if she was searching for something and finally she gazed deeply into my eyes. She took my hand and held it in place over her heart which I felt thundering away at a rapid pace.

"Edward…I…I love you," she whispered.

Before I could form a single thought Isabella's lips were on mine. She kissed me as though I was oxygen and she was suffocating, completely taking my breath away and making my heart gallop. As quickly as the kiss had started she suddenly pulled her lips away from mine. I felt a rush of fear, thinking that she was going to panic like the first time she had told me she loved me. I kept a tight grip on her waist with my left hand to keep her from moving away from me. My right was still covering her heart. Anxiously, I looked into her eyes but instantly my fear was replaced by calm. Isabella's gaze was a little wary but nowhere near panicked. She was standing by her decision of professing her love for me and was waiting for my response.

"Oh God," I whispered. "This is it."

_I finally get to tell her._

I took her hand and placed it over my heart which was beating just as rapidly as hers was under the palm of my hand. I drew a ragged breath and looked into her eyes again.

"I love you, Isabella. I love you."

Her lips curved up in the most radiant smile I had ever seen and her eyes sparkled.

"Tell me again," she whispered.

_I'll tell you every day for the rest of my life! _

"I love you."

"I'm not scared," she said, almost as if she couldn't believe it herself. "I love you, Edward."  
"I love you, Isabella. I've wanted to tell you for so long. You are everything to me."

She leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine. The kiss started out slow and I wrapped my arms around her to hold her even closer. Soon her tongue brushed against my mouth and I opened eagerly to grant her access while my hands moved up and down her back, gently caressing as they went along. I became acutely aware of the fact that I was inside her when she rocked slowly back and forth on me and the desire started building in both of us.

"Oh God," she moaned against my lips. "You feel so perfect inside of me."  
I nodded and captured her lips in a passionate kiss before I moved my mouth along the curve of her jaw up to her ear.

"I love you, my sweetheart," I whispered and sucked gently on the spot below her ear which I knew was very sensitive.

Isabella moved faster on me and leaned back on her hands so that I could see all of her. It was just like the first night we had sex, but now everything was a million times better. The physical pleasure was magnified because of our emotional connection, and while Emmett had always insisted that there was no difference between sex and making love since the act was the same, I knew that he was mistaken. The first time Isabella and I had been together it had just been sex, or maybe it was fucking, as she had called it afterwards. Regardless, it had purely been physical between us and now I could truly see the difference. We loved each other and we were using our bodies as a way of expressing that in the most basic and glorious of ways.

I leaned forward to cup her breasts in my hands and wrapped my lips around a pink erect nipple. It made her moan when I sucked it gently and mimicked it on the other one by tugging it with my thumb and forefinger. It came so naturally to me now and I knew her body so well, and how to give her pleasure. And I was nowhere near done learning. I yearned to know even more about the beautiful girl who was moving on top of me, and not just what she liked sexually.

I wanted to know what she her dreams were for the future. Did she want to stay in school and maybe go for a Ph. D. or even a Doctorate? Did she want children someday? Did she want to stay here once she finished her studies or would she want to move to a different part of the country? Did I even have a place in her future plans? I was pretty much set in my life with an apartment which I owned and a good steady job, but her life was just starting out. Fear gripped my heart at the realization that we might not have a real future together like I dreamed about. What if she didn't envision us together like I did with a family of our own some day?

I had fallen completely for her and there was no going back for me. I wanted her for life. It may have happened quickly but I knew the truth in my heart. I would never love another woman the way I loved her.

"Edward," she moaned and leaned in to kiss me.

Her lips were gentle and her tongue caressed mine slowly as if she was savoring my taste. It was a complete contrast to the frantic movements of her pelvis as she rode me faster and faster, bringing both of us closer to the edge. She started to tremble in my arms and threw her head back as my hands went to her hips to help control her movements. I moved in sync with her, my desire temporarily overwriting my fear of losing her and finally lost myself in the sensations.

"Edward! Oh God, Edward! I love you!" she called out.

I lifted my hands to cup her face.

"Look at me," I moaned.

Her eyes were narrow slits and they were dark with desire but she held my gaze steadily.

"I love you," I gasped. "I will always love you."

"Yes!" she cried out as her orgasm seemed to hit her out of nowhere.

I followed immediately after and held her tightly to me while every part of my being joined her in perfect ecstasy. When I came to she was still rocking slowly on top of me, her arms and legs completely wrapped around my spent body. Her face was buried in my neck and I heard her murmuring softly against my skin:

"Always, baby. Always."  
And with those simple words she eradicated all my fears.

"Always," I whispered in her ear before I pulled back and met her loving gaze.

We may have been different in many ways and our differences were bound to cause complications in the future, but I knew that as long as Isabella looked at me like she did in this very moment we could overcome anything. We loved each other despite our differences and didn't care that some people wouldn't understand our relationship.

"As long as we're together, the rest can go to Hell," I whispered, remembering the song that Isabella had sung for me.

"I absolutely love you, but we're absolute beginners," she continued with a beautiful smile.

"We'll learn together," I said with complete confidence and pulled her against me in a tight embrace. "I love you so much, my Isabella."

"My Edward," she sighed and rested her head on my shoulder.

I knew that we should get back downstairs immediately before someone realized that we were missing, but this moment was so perfect. I stroked her soft curls and kissed the soft skin on the side of her neck while my eyes looked around the room. Never in a million years would I have imagined being in this intimate position with a sweet and beautiful girl when I lived here. The shy seventeen year old boy inside of me who used to sleep in this bed would have given everything to experience this, and the thirty-two year old man I was today was just as awed by the whole thing. I guess I really hadn't changed that much after all. I had simply found someone who loved me for me and I knew that I would spend the rest of my life trying to make her feel as loved as I did in this very moment.

**Aw. Love, love and more love. This ended up sounding a lot more "The End"-like than I intended and I assure you that the story isn't over yet. I mean, we still need Edward to go all Dom on Isabella's ass. He did study for it and everything. Plus Tanya needs to be put in her place. Apparently she wants another go with Edward. I think there might be something like five chapters left…Maybe? I already know how the story will end and it's really just a matter of how much smut/fluff I can put in without it becoming dull between here and the conclusion. We'll see how it goes. :)**

**On another note: I am participating with a one-shot for the 'Countdown to Halloween' which can be found here:**

**www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/6326403/1/Countdown_to_Halloween_II_One_Haunted_Hallows_Eve**

**A new one-shot will be posted every day in October and there are a lot of great authors participating (I'm actually really nervous about putting my stuff in it because they're so good!) I can't tell you which day my story will post because it's anonymous (until after Halloween, at least) but I encourage all of you to check it daily, as I will be doing. ;)**

**Take care until next time! **


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**I am very sorry for the delay. I was on vacation last week with my family and didn't have any time to write. Thank you so much for your continued support and all your lovely reviews.**

**Melanie, what can I say that I haven't already? Thank you for everything; encouraging emails, fic recs and of course awesome beta skills.**

**Oh, and I am expecting a boy! Now we'll have one of each. ;) **

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

"We should get back to the party," Isabella murmured and pressed her lips against my shoulder.

We were still sitting on my old bed, intimately joined after having made love and I wasn't ready to leave. I ran my hands up and down her sides until she leaned back and smiled at me. My eyes roamed over her as if I was just seeing her for the first time. She was a vision: Her eyes shining brightly, her lips a little swollen from our kissing, her cheeks, neck and chest still lightly flushed from her orgasm, her soft full breasts that I immediately wanted in my mouth again and finally the wet warm place between her legs where our bodies met. There was nothing in the world more spectacular than this sight.

"You are so…"

I sighed.

"So goddamn beautiful," I said, adding the curse word for emphasis even though it didn't even come close to describing her accurately.

I wanted to worship her because she was truly a goddess. And she _loved_ me. The thought was mind-boggling. She was young, beautiful, sexy and smart, and for some reason she had chosen to bestow her love on me. I would have thought all of this the impossible dream of the world-weary lonely man I had been just a few months ago if it wasn't for the fact that I could feel her vividly. She was really mine and she loved me.

I brushed her hair off her neck and kissed it gently while I inhaled the fragrance of her skin.

"I love the way you smell," I whispered.

I traced my fingertips down her chest and gently stroked her breasts.

"You're so soft," I told her and leaned her back until she was lying on the bed while I stayed inside of her.

"I've never met anyone as lovely and sweet as you," I whispered before kissing her lips gently.

I looked into her eyes and smiled.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Edward," she said and wrapped her legs around me.

I smiled again when her words made my heart skip a beat and I covered her warm skin with soft kisses. When I reached her breasts I couldn't resist teasing her nipples with my tongue and Isabella shifted beneath me.

"If you keep that up we won't be going downstairs to the party for a while," she moaned softly.

"All part of my plan," I grinned and sucked one of her puckered peaks into my mouth.

I knew how the party progressed after having attended every year and they hadn't even started eating yet. Right now people were still walking around making mindless small talk while drinking half their bodyweight in my parents' booze.

_No thank you. I'm happy right where I am._

"I like our party much better," I said and rocked slowly back and forth inside of her.

"Oh, I can feel you," Isabella moaned. "You're…"

"I'm getting hard again," I whispered. "For you, sweetheart. You're so incredibly sexy I just can't help myself. I can't get enough of you."  
"I don't mind at all. It feels amazing."

I sat up on my knees and took her with me while I picked up the pace of my thrusts. Isabella had taught me this position which made it very easy for me to touch her everywhere and still control my movements. Just a few months ago I never would have known that but now it all felt so natural. I loved watching myself sliding in and out of her while she moaned softly underneath me and I wanted to give her even more. My thumb moved easily over her swollen clit and I was amazed that she got so much pleasure out of such a small thing. I upped my pace again, going deeper and harder and Isabella's moans turned into small cries.

"Oh! Oh! Edward!"

I would never ever get enough of this, of her, of seeing her like this. The way her arms were stretched out above her head which was thrown back in rapture. Her eyes were closed and her lips parted. Her beautiful body was moving with mine as she came closer to climaxing with each thrust of my hips, each swirl of my thumb. _I_ was doing this to her. _I_ was making her feel good. She was coming for _me_. The thought just about drove me wild.

"Does it feel good, sweetheart?" I panted. "Are you going to come for me?"

"Yes, fuck yes!" she moaned. "It feels amazing. Harder, please!"

I was happy that I had recently had an orgasm and I was able to fulfill her request without worrying about finishing before I could make her come again. Even when we were together like this and it was wild and unrestrained, my body pumping rapidly into hers, it was still lovemaking. That didn't go away no matter how we did it.

I delivered a dozen long hard strokes and rubbed her clit furiously.

"Edward! Oh fuck!" she cried as her body started to tremble.

"That's it. Come for me, Isabella! Let me feel you!"

She let out a loud garbled version of my name, sucked in a deep breath and stilled beneath me. I knew this moment so well by now but it was still just as fantastic to behold every time. Isabella climaxing was the most glorious thing I had ever seen, and there was no greater feeling in the world than the way her inner walls grabbed and massaged my length while I continued to pound into her.

When she started to come down I slowed my pace considerably and simply enjoyed the feeling of pulling almost all the way out and then sliding effortlessly into her tight amazing heat.

"Oh God, that was…oh, that was fantastic," Isabella said huskily and opened her beautiful eyes.

I stopped completely and bent down to kiss her tenderly.

"I love doing that to you," I confessed and started trailing kisses down her body until I reached her breasts.

I cupped them in my hands and gently suckled her nipples in turn while Isabella stroked my hair and made wonderful little appreciative noises. Suddenly she gasped softly and her body stiffened completely underneath me. I was about to ask her what was wrong when I thought I heard the door to my room shut. I whipped my head around towards it but there was nothing out of the ordinary to see.

"What was that?" I asked and looked at Isabella.

"Tanya," she whispered.

_WHAT?_

"Tanya?" I practically screeched and sat up abruptly, all thoughts of lovemaking completely forgotten. "She was watching us?"

Isabella nodded slowly.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," I said immediately and tried to drape the bedspread around her body even though we were both still on top of it.

I wanted to cover her up as if that would somehow protect her from Tanya's intrusive eyes.

"I didn't think to lock the door," I lamented. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I didn't know that we would be doing this or I would have locked it, and then things just sort of happened and I wasn't thinking and I...I…"

"Baby!" Isabella sat up and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I don't care that she saw us. I'm not upset."

I blinked.

"You're not?"

"No! I don't give a shit that she saw me naked," Isabella said and started stroking my hair again.

"Besides, she wasn't really paying much attention to _me_," she grinned.

I gaped at her.

"How can you find this amusing? She just saw us having sex!"

"Correction: She saw you screwing my brains out and giving me a mind-blowing orgasm."

Isabella looked expectantly at me as if she was waiting for some sort of different reaction than the one I was having. I just stared at her with my mouth hanging open, feeling out of the loop. She continued patiently:

"In the very same bed where she made you feel like you were a bad lover, while you were with a younger, and if I say so myself, _hotter_ woman who was clearly enjoying your skills. See where I'm going with this?"

She smiled sweetly at me and placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

"I…"

"Baby, _that_ was pure Karma," she said. "She treated you like shit before, saw how hot you look today and wanted another chance, sought you out only to find you fucking your girlfriend and basically showing her what she missed out on because she was such a bitch to you. That's fucking poetic!"

"Oh. I…uh, I didn't really think about it like that," I admitted as the pieces slowly fell into place in my head

Suddenly Tanya seeing me with Isabella in flagrante delicto didn't seem like such a bad thing. Isabella was right, I realized. I wasn't the scrawny, insecure, fumbling guy I had been back then. What Tanya had seen today was a man in control who knew what he was doing and I had to admit that the thought gave me a strange thrill. I was a good lover and now she knew it. I could feel a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

"You're enjoying this a little, aren't you?" Isabella said with a smirk and crawled into my lap.

"Maybe a little," I admitted and wrapped my arms around her. "As long as it didn't make you uncomfortable."

I sought her eyes and she smiled again.

"No, I don't care that she saw us. What we did was beautiful."

I nodded in agreement.

"Now I'm almost wishing that I had been screaming cock compliments or something," she added with a grin.

I laughed loudly. She was so amazing!

"God, I love you," I chuckled and held her tightly against me.

"I love you too. Now, can we forget about that bitch and finish what we were doing?"

"Oh, I…I sort of lost my excitement when you mentioned Tanya," I admitted and glanced down at my flaccid penis.

Isabella didn't seem put off by this, though.

"Well, let's see if we can't get you excited again," she purred and pushed on my shoulders until I was lying flat on my back.

She ran to the door, locked it, and it took all of thirty seconds for me to forget about everything except the goddess on top of me and the wonderfully wicked things she did to my body.

Much later than planned we emerged from my bedroom. Isabella's curls were a little mussed up and we were both wearing goofy smiles, but other than that we looked like a perfectly respectable couple when we walked down the stairs hand in hand.

"Edward, we were looking for you," my father's voice rang out.

He approached us with a curious expression on his face.

"I need the bathroom," Isabella whispered.

I pointed her in the right direction and she gave my father a quick smile before hurrying away.

"I…um, I was giving Isabella a tour of the house," I lied horribly when he came over.

My dad raised his eyebrows, obviously not believing a word I said.

"Oh, you were certainly gone for a long time," he said with a smirk.

_Oh hell! He knows!_

I waited for the feeling of mortification to creep up on me but I was surprised to learn that I didn't feel at all embarrassed about the fact that Isabella and I couldn't keep our hands off each other. We were in love and like Isabella said; what we did together was beautiful.

"Yes, I was very thorough," I said and tried not to grin salaciously.

Once again my father looked almost proud of me and nodded.

"Well, I should go find Isabella," I said. "I'm sure she's hungry after seeing everything."

_Thrice! _

"You do that, son," I heard my father chuckle quietly when I walked away with a huge smile on my face, doing everything in my power not to strut á la John Travolta.

_Well, you can tell by the way I use __my walk, I'm a woman's man no time to talk. _

_Nah, I'm just Isabella's man and that's more than enough. _

On my way to the downstairs bathroom I heard the piano playing softly and out of curiosity I peeked into the living room. My jaw dropped.

_Isabella plays piano?_

She was sitting on the bench, her fingers moving over the keys effortlessly as if she was a professional. But the thing that I found the most fascinating was the music she was creating. The piano belonged to my mother and it had never played anything that wasn't classical. Isabella didn't play classical. She played a rock song. I should have guessed that she would prefer something like that. And then she started singing. I immediately concluded that she had merely been modest when she said that she wasn't much of a singer, because it sounded wonderful. I had heard the song before but I couldn't place it. Then I decided to shut my brain up and simply enjoy it. She sang and played beautifully and I listened in awe. When she came to the last chorus her voice changed and became more intense, her fingers hit the keys with more strength and I held my breath.

"And I guess that's why they call it the blues. Time on my hands could be time spent with you. Laughing like children. Living like lovers. Rolling like thunder under the covers. And I guess that's why they call it the blues."

Abruptly she stopped and closed her eyes. I saw that she was breathing heavily and her hands shook a little on top of the keys.

_Oh God, she's about to cry!_

I wanted to rush to her side immediately but I also didn't want her to feel uncomfortable that I had intruded on her private moment. Suddenly she opened her eyes and they met mine.

"Oh, sorry," she rushed out and almost knocked the bench over when she stood up. "I couldn't find the bathroom and then I saw this and…Sorry."

"Don't apologize," I breathed. "It was beautiful. I had no idea you knew how to play."

I came over and sat down on the bench and she hesitantly joined me.

"Yeah, I used to play all the time. We had a piano at home."

"Your parents played?" I asked gently.

"No, me and Pop," she said and sniffed a little. "He loved Elton John. He taught me how to play. Pop, not Elton," she added with a smile. "That was sort of our thing, playing and singing together. I played for him all the time when he was in the home. It always made him smile, even at the end. Sometimes he would even remember me because of the music."

She smiled and stared into space for a few seconds before shaking her head lightly.

"His piano is in storage now, but someday when I get a bigger place I want it in my living room," she said.

_Maybe it will be our living room._

I hoped so, but didn't say anything.

"Do you play classical?" I asked curiously.

She smiled and moved her fingers to the piano again.

"You must remember this. A kiss is still a kiss. A sigh is still a sigh. The fundamental things apply. As time goes by," she sang with the music.

"That's not what I meant," I chuckled. "But it's a wonderful song."

"I know. It is a classic, though," she grinned. "And the answer's no. I like a song you can sing along to and so did Pops. I never really got into the other stuff. I mean, I can probably play some of it if I had the sheet music, but I never saw the point."

"You're really good," I complimented her. "And you can definitely sing, as well."

"Thanks," she said softly. "Do you play?"

"I used to. My mom gave me lessons as a kid but school took up so much of my time and I gave it up when I went to college."

"Play something," she encouraged and moved down the bench.

"I'll try," I said, because I didn't want to deny her anything. "Just don't laugh if I make any mistakes."

"I swear," she said and gave me a sweet kiss.

I played a little of Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" because I was able to do so without sheet music and well, I'll admit it; I thought it was pretty.

"That was beautiful!" Isabella exclaimed when I finished. "You should play more often, baby!"

"Maybe I will when you get your grandfather's piano," I said with a smile, secretly hoping that we would be living together by then.

Isabella returned the smile and we just gazed into each other's eyes for the longest time.

"Here you guys are!" Emmett said exasperatedly as he barged into the room. "I've been looking for you everywhere. Do you realize how boring it is out there without you?"

"Sorry Em," I said and helped Isabella up. "We're coming."

We all walked out and Isabella went to the bathroom before we stepped out into the garden again. I looked around for any signs of Tanya and apparently I wasn't being very stealthy because Emmett quickly saw what I was doing.

"I don't know where she is," he said. "I ran into her earlier when I was looking for you guys and when I asked if she had seen you she just looked really pissed and stormed off."

I had a pretty good idea why Tanya had done that and Isabella smirked up at me and leaned into my body.

"Anyway, you want to go get something to eat?" he continued and patted his stomach. "I'm freakin' starving."

"Yeah, me too," Isabella said and wrapped her arm around my waist. "I seem to have worked up quite an appetite."

I laughed and Emmett looked at us. Then he laughed as well.

"For a second there I thought that you guys had been off screwing or something," he chuckled. "But then I remembered that I was thinking about my brother who would never do something like that. Come on, let's eat."

"You're right, Emmett. I would _never_ do something like that," I said and stifled a laugh while we followed him.

_The person I used to be before Isabella wouldn't have, but I sure as hell will! _

"What are we having?" Isabella asked us.

"Barbeque," we answered in unison.

"Seriously? That's awesome!" she said excitedly. "I was worried it would be all caviar and pate. I'm getting a cheeseburger. I'm sure I can't screw that up."

She nudged my side playfully.

"You just place your order and the chef grills your meat," I said and pointed straight ahead to where the barbeque was set up.

"Bummer," she said with a frown. "Isn't the whole point of a barbeque to grill your own stuff?"

"Thank you!" Emmett said emphatically. "I've been telling our mom that for years, but will she listen? Women, you know?"  
"Totally," Isabella deadpanned and gave Emmett a fist bump.

"I like you," Emmett nodded. "You're cool. You're also way too smokin' hot for my brother. You do realize that, right?"

"Yeah, probably," she said and gave me a wink, showing me that she didn't really feel that way.

"But the thing is, Em," she continued. "I'm also smart enough to know that when I find a hot, sweet and wonderful guy who also happens to be the best lay ever, he's a keeper."

She sauntered ahead of us towards the food and called over her shoulder:

"I'm even smart enough to fall in love with him."

Emmett stared after her with a stunned look on his face and I was sure that I matched his expression. I watched as she went up to the chef and placed her food order. She held up her hands indicating that she wanted a huge burger and I couldn't help but laugh as he did, clearly smitten with her.

_God, I love her. I can't believe she's really mine._

"You're going to marry that girl," Emmett half-whispered, breaking the spell I was under.

"What?" I asked.

"You are," he insisted.

"Emmett, we've only been together a few weeks officially," I said, although I wanted his statement to be true. "Besides, I thought you didn't like the idea of marriage? Being with just one woman for the rest of your life and all that."

"Yeah, but you're so traditional that it was just a matter of time before you settled down with one of the duds you dated. If you _have_ to get married and shit I'd prefer someone like Bella as a sister in law. At least she's fun to be around," he said lightly.

I gaped at him. I couldn't believe that he had actually considered this. I thought I was the only one thinking of our relationship both in terms of forever and 'for as long as we both shall live'. Evidently that wasn't the case and it made me wonder if maybe Isabella was having similar thoughts now that we had declared our love for each other.

"And she makes you all happy and googly eyed which is a big step up from boring, sullen Edward," he added and fidgeted awkwardly. "It's just…it's nice to see you happy for a change."

"Thank you, Emmett," I said, feeling a little stunned. "I hope you and Rosalie work out as well."

"Yeah, we'll see how it goes," he said casually, but I could see a spark in his eye when I mentioned her name. "Come on, bro. Let's get our burger on."

We joined Isabella at the buffet table and I made sure to let the chef know in a very subtle way that she was taken. Well, maybe not entirely subtle since I chose to convey this by giving her a searing kiss that almost made her drop her plate. Luckily, she didn't seem to mind at all based on the smile she gave me when I released her lips. We sat down to eat and once again I noticed that people were staring a little.

"I feel like I'm on display or something," Isabella whispered and glanced around us.

"They're all just shocked to see Edward with a girl," Emmett said with a shrug and took another huge bite of his burger.

"Why?"

"I think they all assumed that he was gay," my brother grinned. "You know. A single guy of a certain age who they've never seen dating. Plus the whole literature thing. You can't really blame them."  
_And my own mother thought I was, too. _

"Liking literature is gay?" Isabella asked with a raised eyebrow. "Fuck me. I guess I'm a lesbian then."

Emmett laughed and I leaned over to her.

"I thought you weren't going to swear, you naughty girl," I whispered in her ear.

She smirked and shrugged her shoulders.

"I figured it was okay as long as it's just the three of us. Besides, I think you kind of like my dirty mouth."

I truly did. But mostly in the bedroom where I was starting to rival her in vocalization. Everything was so different now. I was even enjoying the party and talking to my parents' friends who came over to say hello. I introduced Isabella as my girlfriend and every time it made me grin like the love struck fool I was. I was purposely vague when asked how we had met and how long we had been dating. There wasn't any danger anymore since I was no longer her teacher but I still did my best to keep speculation about us to a minimum and simply told people that the relationship was new and that we had met at the university.

"I need pie," my brother announced after having devoured his third burger and left the table.

"Pie?" Isabella questioned. "Which kind?"  
"Apple," I said with a smile and a slight eye roll. "My mom loves to embrace the clichés."

"You shouldn't take all of this for granted," she said quietly and motioned around the garden. "Your parents, your brother. Family, you know. You're very lucky. To belong somewhere."

She let out a small sigh and her face turned sad, which immediately made me feel horrible because I realized that she was right. I had never really appreciated the comfort and safety of having supportive and loving parents, and a brother who actually seemed to enjoy my company. I had a place to go for holidays and people to celebrate birthdays and specials occasions with. Isabella didn't have any of that.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," I whispered and hesitantly placed my hand on top of hers.

It was times like this when I felt just how inexperienced I was when it came to women and relationships in general. I didn't know if I should hold her or if it was better to give her a little distance. This was a family holiday and Isabella had lost hers. And to make matters worse I had just poked fun at my mother right in front of a girl who probably missed hers, especially on days like this.

"It's okay," she said and moved her chair closer to mine.

I immediately took it as an invitation to wrap my arm around her back and kissed her temple.

"I'm really happy to be here with you," she whispered and played with the button on my shirt cuff before she laced our fingers.

"I am too," I murmured and tilted her head up until she looked at me.

"I love you, Isabella. You do have a place where you belong."

"I do?" she whispered and gazed into my eyes.

I nodded.

"You belong with me.

And then I discarded proper social conduct entirely, pulled her into my lap and kissed her as though my life depended on it. Isabella responded eagerly and pressed herself against me while both of us ignored the fact that we were sitting in the middle of a garden in broad daylight at a semi-formal function.

"Dude, you look like you're trying to eat each other," Emmett snickered as I heard him sit down again. "Have some more grub."

Reluctantly I pulled my mouth away from Isabella's and met her eyes.

"I love you too," she whispered and stroked my cheek.

Gently I lifted her back into her own chair and turned my attention to my brother who was busy shoveling pie into his mouth.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "But I think people at the buffet were starting to take bets on whether or not you were going to mount her right here on the table."

I blushed but Isabella just laughed softly next to me.

"They all would have lost," she said. "If anyone was doing any mounting, it would have been me."

Emmett chortled and went back to eating.

"Would you like some pie?" I asked her.

She nodded and started to stand up but I stopped her, saying that I wanted to get it for her.

"I can get it myself," she protested.

"I know. But let me, please?" I asked.

There was a lot more to my question than merely getting Isabella dessert. I was asking her to let me treat her like a lady. She hadn't ever been with a gentleman before and was under the mistaken impression that they only belonged in movies and books. I had told her on the wonderful day when she agreed to be my girlfriend that I wanted to do all those gentlemanly things but I hadn't really had the opportunity until now.

"Will it make you happy if I agree?" she asked.

"Ecstatic," I replied honestly.

"Alright," she said with an indulgent smile and leaned back in her chair. "But if you skimp on the whipped cream the deal is off."  
I laughed and went to the buffet where I made sure to get her an extra large piece with plenty of cream. I also poured her a cup of coffee and was about to walk back over when my heart froze.

_Oh no.__ What the hell does she want?_

Tanya had appeared out of nowhere and was now standing by the chair next to a very uncomfortable looking Emmett. Isabella was regarding her with a neutral expression and I was thankful that she wasn't upset. I quickly walked over and sat down next to my girlfriend, handing her the dessert. She gave me a grateful smile at the same time as Tanya cleared her throat in a very obvious way that demanded attention.

"Hello Tanya," I said curtly and finally raised my head to look at her.

She looked different than how I remembered her. Something had definitely been altered in her chest area which looked much larger than it had before. I wasn't intentionally looking at her breasts but it was impossible not to with the low-cut neckline of her dress.

_Implants? How odd._

She was wearing entirely too much makeup for my taste and the dress was very revealing. In general I found her to be wanting in every way and I couldn't for the life of me understand why I had ever been attracted to her. She was nothing like the woman I remembered. I suppose that I had put her on a pedestal but now I saw her for what she really was; someone who was trying to remain young and attractive by dressing slightly inappropriately and getting cosmetic surgery. It was quite pitiful. Youth was great and all, and God knows I worshipped Isabella's young supple body. But if there hadn't been more to her than perky breasts and a firm backside I might have slept with her a few times, but I never would have fallen in love with her. She was the complete package; brains, personality and beauty, and that was how I knew that I would still want her just as much when she developed into a gorgeous, natural-looking, mature woman.

"Hi Edward," Tanya said in a strange breathy voice.

Apparently she took my greeting as permission to join us because she sat down next to Emmett while she kept her eyes on me. I wondered what on earth she could want and if she was just going to pretend that she wasn't spying on my intimate time with my girlfriend less than an hour ago. I didn't know if she realized that she had been caught doing it but either way she was being very rude.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your date?" she asked and looked at Isabella.

I sighed. I really just wanted to tell Tanya to take a hike but seeing how she was a guest of my parents' I couldn't very well do that.

"Tanya, this is Isabella Swan. My girlfriend," I said and put my hand on the nape of her neck where I caressed her skin softly. "Sweetheart, this is Tanya Denali. She's a friend of the family."

_But not a friend of mine!_

"Pleased to meet you," Tanya said. "Edward and I go _way_ back. We have a lot of history."

"So I've heard," Isabella replied dryly and leaned a little closer to me.

Tanya's face showed that she knew what Isabella meant and for some reason she looked smug. I had no idea why. Sleeping with her was one of the worst experiences of my life and it was hardly something for her to feel proud about.

"Have some pie, sweetheart," I murmured and placed a soft kiss on Isabella's neck.

She seemed so tense and I didn't want her to feel intimidated by the over-sexed woman at our table.

"I love you," I whispered in her ear before I pulled away.

Isabella smiled at me and had a bite of her dessert.

"Good?" I asked.

"So good," she moaned and offered me a forkful which I happily ate.

Then she leaned forward and kissed me.

"You had a little whipped cream there," she grinned before she pulled back, licking her lips.

"Oh God, you guys are so sweet I think I'm going to hurl," Emmett complained but the smile on his face showed that he was only half-serious.

"Oh please," Isabella said and waved her hand dismissively. "Like you aren't exactly the same when you're with Rose."

"I am not!" Emmett huffed.

"Girls talk, you know?" Isabella laughed. "I know all about the flowers and cuddling and holding hands when you guys take a walk. Oh, and driving outside of the city to look at stars. It's very romantic, Emmett. Good for you."

My brother's face turned red and for a second I thought I might actually see steam coming out of his ears. Isabella just smiled and took another bite of her pie.

"There's nothing wrong with treating a girl right. Your brother taught me that," she said. "I'm glad Rose has you and you turned out to be a nice guy. Now I won't have to hurt you for breaking her heart."

"I wouldn't do that," he said, obviously uncomfortable with all this talk about feelings.

"I know," Isabella said and patted his arm lightly which made him smile.

There was a lull in the conversation while Emmett and Isabella finished their dessert and the three of us more or less ignored Tanya. It wasn't a very nice thing to do, but I couldn't bring myself to care about that. She had no business even being here at our table.

"So how did you two meet?" Tanya suddenly enquired and motioned to myself and Isabella.

"I picked him up at Emmett's bar," Isabella answered with a small laugh.

"Oh really?" I asked. "I thought I was the one who picked you up. I did give you a ride home and saved you the long walk."

I was just kidding. I may have given her a ride but I never would have had the courage to take it any further than that. Isabella was definitely the one to thank for bringing us together.

"Nice, bro," Emmett grinned. "Saving the damsel in distress. Works every time."

"Silly boys," Isabella laughed. "I could have taken a cab if I really wanted to. I had money in my apartment after all. I just thought it would be a lot more fun to have Edward rescue me."

Both of us stared at her.

"I was right," she added with a wink. "That damsel in distress thing works both ways."

"Well played," Emmett said and looked impressed.

"Yeah, so that's how we got together," Isabella said lightly. "I guess Edward got a taste of something he liked because he kept coming back for more."

"Did I ever," I murmured and nuzzled her neck. "You're delicious," I whispered so that only Isabella could hear it and noted with satisfaction that my words made her shiver.

"Isn't that sweet," Tanya said in a saccharine voice.

There was an uncomfortable silence and I jumped a little when Emmett's cell phone started ringing. He looked so happy for the distraction that I almost laughed.

"It's Rose!" he half-yelled with unmasked glee. "I have to take this."

He answered while he stood up and I heard him let out a "hey baby!" before he practically ran from the table of awkwardness.

"So…Emmett told me that this is your first time meeting Edward's family," Tanya said to Isabella.

It wasn't, but since I hadn't told my brother about our parents walking in on us having sex I could see why he would assume that.

"In a way," Isabella replied vaguely.

"I just love Esme and Carlisle," Tanya gushed. "They're almost like my family, as well. We used to have so much fun together at these parties when we were younger. Didn't we, Edward?"

I didn't say anything and gave her a non-committal shrug. I had spent most of them following her around like a lapdog begging for scraps while she flirted with the older boys and ignored me. That was hardly fun in my estimation.

"And Emmett also said that this was your first garden party?" Tanya continued.

Isabella nodded and took a sip of her coffee.

"Yes, I'm enjoying it so far," she said.

"There's something special about one's first, isn't there?" Tanya mused with a vicious glint in her eyes. "It's always the one you remember."

_NO!_

I couldn't believe it. It was painfully obvious that Tanya wasn't talking about garden parties and I knew that Isabella understood this as well. Was Tanya actually trying to make it seem as though our one time together had been memorable? It had been the exact opposite and it was probably the one thing I would change about my past if I could. I glanced at Isabella and flinched a little. I had never seen her look so angry before. I could tell that she was trying to control herself probably because we were in public, but I didn't know if she would be able to keep it up if Tanya continued this nonsense. Which she did.

"It seems that everything after the first one pales in comparison. They might be entertaining but when you look back it's always that first one that comes to mind."

_That's it! She is completely delusional!_

I was about to set her straight when Isabella smiled and nodded.

"You're absolutely right, Ms. Denali," she said pleasantly.

_WHAT? No, she most certainly is not! I can't let Isabella think that losing my virginity to that awful woman is the most memorable sex of my life! _

Tanya looked surprised about the fact that Isabella was agreeing with her and I was as well. I had to make her understand that even though Tanya had been my first, it was Isabella who had truly awakened my sexuality and taught me how wonderful it was to make love, have sex, or even fuck, as we sometimes called it. All of it was Isabella's doing and she had to know that.

"Gosh, I can't even tell you how many firsts Edward and I have shared," Isabella continued and held up her hand. "Let's count them, shall we?"  
She looked pensive for a second.

"Well, this is the first time that I've attended a family function with a boyfriend, so that's one."

_Really? I was sure that the asshole would have had that privilege. He never even introduced her to his family? God, he sounds like such an…well, an asshole basically! _

"Your first experience with oral sex. Isn't that correct, baby?" Isabella continued.  
I grinned widely.

"Yes. Um, giving _and_ receiving," I answered. "That should count for two."

"Good point," she agreed and checked off two more fingers. "What else…Oh, first home cooked meal that a guy prepared specially for me. He makes delicious Italian food," she added.

"First time someone brought me hangover food," I said eagerly. "And you're the first girl to ever give me a massage."

"First guy to give me multiple orgasms," Isabella told me with a lopsided grin. "I'm really happy about that one," she said and looked Tanya square in the eye.  
_No way! No freaking way!_

I gaped at her. I knew that she had them sometimes and it was fantastic when it happened, but I had no idea that it was just with me.

"Really?" I whispered.

She nodded and mouthed the word 'amazing.'

_Yes! I am the man! A sexual savant, even! _

I had never felt more masculine pride than I did in that moment. I also felt a giant surge of love and gratitude towards her. I knew that Isabella was doing this to illustrate just how little the past meant and what really mattered were the things we had shared. And the fact that my sexual prowess was presented as amazing in front of Tanya didn't hurt either. In fact, it felt pretty damn good to watch my beautiful girlfriend shove that piece of information in Tanya's face. I took Isabella's hand and gazed into her eyes.

"First 'I love you'," I said softly.

"That's the most important one of all," she whispered.

I nodded and held her face between my hands before leaning in and pressing my lips against hers. As always, she was warm and soft, and this time she tasted like apples, cream and coffee. I had been right; she was delicious. She sighed against my lips and I tilted her head to deepen the kiss. I was lost in her and only vaguely registered the sound of an angry huff and a chair scraping, followed by heels walking away at a fast pace. Isabella pulled back and smiled.

"I guess she got the point."

"I guess so," I grinned and kissed her softly again. "I just don't understand her motivation at all."

"You don't?"

"No, women are a mystery to me most of the time," I admitted with a sheepish smile.

"Even me?" she asked.

"Sometimes," I said, realizing the truth in the statement. "I just want to make you happy and I'm worried that I'll do the wrong thing. This is so new to me."

"It's new to me too," she whispered. "Let's just promise each other that we won't run away if things get complicated. I want this to work out. I want you, Edward, I want us."  
I hadn't expected the conversation to become so serious but I was so happy that Isabella felt the way she did.

"I want you too, Isabella. I can't promise you that there won't be arguments and disagreements. I mean, we're different in a lot of ways, but I _can_ promise you that I will love you and treat you right through all of it. You make me happier than I ever thought possible and I never want to lose you. You are everything to me."

"Damn it, Edward," she whispered and blinked rapidly. "You're going to make me cry in front of your parents. You and your beautiful words."

"Sorry," I chuckled, even though I wasn't really all that sorry. I liked that I was able to affect her and say the right things to convey how much I loved and wanted her.

I handed her a clean napkin and she dapped under her eyes

"I feel the same way," she said and looked up at me. "You make me so happy. Look at me, for fuck's sake. I'm so happy, I'm crying."

I smiled at her sweet crass words. She wouldn't be my Isabella if she didn't say 'fuck' at least once every so often.

"By the way," she said after she finished wiping her eyes. "I totally have that Tanya woman pegged."  
"Really?"

"Yeah, I'll bet you anything that she's never had great sex in her life," Isabella stated. "You should have seen her face when she was watching us upstairs earlier. She was so jealous. Not just because I have you, but because she wants what we have together. It's kind of sad, really."

"Do you really think so?"

"It makes sense. She probably made you feel shitty afterwards because it wasn't the first time she didn't come and it made her feel better about herself. That's the only reason I can think of. Either that, or she's just really evil. She definitely wanted another go with you."

"It doesn't matter," I said and took her hand. "The past doesn't matter. I only want you."

"Agreed," she said with a brilliant smile. "Now, are you going to introduce me to some more people? I love the way you look all giddy when you say I'm your girlfriend."  
I laughed and stood up.

"Let's go, sweetheart."

The rest of the party was just wonderful. We didn't see Tanya again but even if we had it wouldn't have mattered. She couldn't come between Isabella and me. We sat with my parents for a while and they got to know my girl a little better and my mother even invited us over for dinner next week. I was so happy I felt as though I could fly.

Isabella hit it off with my grandmother immediately and despite my light reprimands on the dangers of smoking the two of them snuck off for a cigarette, cackling like girlfriends. Gran was very eccentric and impressed by Isabella's spunk and witty comebacks. She even asked what on earth Isabella was doing with an old boring fart like me to which Isabella laughed boisterously and told her that looks could be deceiving. After the two of them left me to my own devices my parents came over and they had nothing but nice things to say. My mother liked that my girlfriend was smart and focused despite her young age, and my dad seemed plain infatuated with her charm. All in all, the day was a complete success.

The night ended in fireworks. First in the sky above my parents' neighborhood….and second in my bedroom where Isabella and I made passionate love until the sun came up.

**I hope everyone is happy about the way I dealt with the whole Tanya debacle. A screaming match really wouldn't have put our Isabella in a very favorable position in front of Edward's parents and Tanya got the message; Edward is taken. Period.**

**Up next are a new Blizzard chapter and then the long-awaited 'Edward goes all Dom for a night' chapter for this story. It will be naughty. Oh yes, it will be naughty! **

**I will be putting up the Halloween one-shot soon so put me on author'****s alert if you want notification.**

**Take care until next time. **


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Hey everyone, sorry for the delay. Real life and stuff. This is the long awaited "Edward goes dom" chapter and I'm pretty sure I went completely overboard with it. It's twice as long as my regular chapters and if you're looking for plot you may as well turn back now because you won't find any in this one. This is straight up filthy smut (with a hint of fluff. It is the professor after all) and if you're sensitive to things such as butt plugs, spankings and handcuffs I suggest that you just skip this one. I swear that the next chapter will contain some actual plot development. **

**Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews and PMs and I know that I sound like a broken record, but I apologize for not having the time to respond to all of them. I do read every single one with a smile on my face. :)**

**Lastly, a huge thank you to Melanie who beta'ed this and wondered if my fiancé was still able to walk after I finished writing it. *Sigh* If only I wasn't big as a house (already at 30 weeks) and constantly tired and aching. February cannot roll around fast enough so that I can meet the little guy who loves to kick me all night long! :/**

**Enjoy the smut and feel free to jump your respective partners afterwards if needed. ;)**

EPOV

_Oh God, she's at it again.__ Lord, give me strength!_

Isabella sauntered over to the bookshelf in my living room, hips swaying seductively as she went. I watched with bated breath as she bent over to reach a book on the bottom shelf keeping her legs stretched which made her indecently short skirt ride up even further. And there underneath it was…

_Heaven. With no underwear covering it._

I swallowed and tried to act as though I hadn't noticed her display by focusing on my laptop which was currently hiding just how much a certain part of my anatomy enjoyed seeing Isabella's lack of modesty. She was doing this on purpose to entice me but I wasn't about to give in. Not just yet. I heard her huff in irritation that I hadn't reacted to her nakedness and suppressed a smile.

_Just a little longer, sweetheart. I'll make it worth the wait._

I had been planning this for weeks and I wanted it to be perfect. Soon I would fulfill Isabella's fantasy of being spanked and dominated. When it would happen really all depended on her. I wanted her sexually frustrated when I sprang my surprise on her and gave her what would hopefully be a great experience for both of us.

_If she doesn'__t attack me first, that is._

I knew that Isabella was getting impatient and wanted to have sex now. Truthfully, I would have done it a lot sooner but her period got in the way and I hadn't factored that into my plans. It was stupid of me, of course. I knew that women menstruated once a month but it wasn't something that I ever thought about since I had never been in a relationship before. At first I was disappointed that it delayed my plan but now I could see how perfectly it had turned out. Isabella's period had ended a few days ago and we still hadn't made love, which meant that it was more than a week since her last orgasm. I was more fortunate since my lovely girlfriend had used her mouth on me twice in the time when she was out of commission, so to speak. I didn't think I would mind having sex during, maybe in the shower, but Isabella hadn't made any sort of indication in that direction and had showered alone the last week. As a result she was now more than ready to make up for lost time but so far I had managed to resist her advances.

It hadn't exactly been an easy feat and she had done everything shy of straddling me and demanding sex at this point. All day she had hovered in the space around me while I worked on an article for a literary magazine. It wasn't due until next week and I was almost done but Isabella didn't know that. She did everything she could to tempt me and she was playing right into my little game. I needed her to behave badly in order to punish her as the naughty girl she was, and thankfully she was taking the bait. Hook, line and sinker.

_If this was a movie I would be stroking a__ white cat right about now. God, I can't believe I just compared myself to an evil genius. What's next? A moustache I can twirl whilst concocting sinister schemes?_

_Fine. No cat. I guess I can settle for stroking Isabella's pussy. All wet and warm just for me…_

_Christ, I need to get laid!_

I truly did, and I honestly didn't know how I had been able to resist her increasingly aggressive advances. At the moment she was sitting next to me on the couch flipping through a book. Or at least she was pretending to do so. What she was really doing was something else entirely: She crossed and uncrossed her legs, offering me peeks of the smooth pale skin on her inner thigh. She made breathy sighs, held her pen up to her mouth before wrapping her lips around it and basically simulated performing oral sex. She pretended to absentmindedly trace the top of her breast thus directing my attention to the fact that she definitely wasn't wearing a bra underneath her tight t-shirt.

Simply put, she was driving me absolutely crazy and all I wanted to do was throw my laptop on the floor, rip her clothes off and fuck her senseless.

_It would be so easy. I could be inside of her in less than a minute…_

_No! Control yourself! Remember the plan. You're doing this for Isabella. _

I wanted to be able to surprise her with this. To show her how much my confidence had grown because of her and how much pleasure I could bring both of us. She had taught me so much. Not just about sex, but about letting someone else into my life and about intimacy in every way, shape and form. I wanted to do this for her, for the both of us. I wanted to impress Isabella with my sexual prowess and for once be the one in complete control of everything that took place between us. It was the ultimate test. The man I was before I first entered Isabella's apartment, and subsequently her life, never would have been able to do what I was planning. Hell, he would have run away screaming at the daunting task of being in complete control of a woman's carnal pleasure. He would have been deathly afraid of failing and not living up to her expectations and I would be lying if I said that it didn't still concern me just a little. Not the part about failing. I knew how to bring Isabella pleasure and orgasms. But I didn't know specifically what she had fantasized about when it came to being tied up and spanked. I was flying blind on that one and would have to rely solely on my instinct.

"Baby?" Isabella practically purred while she turned her body towards me and put her foot on the couch next to me.

"Hmm?" I murmured distractedly as if I wasn't acutely aware of the fact that if I looked at her lap I would see her sweet naked flesh just inches from me.

She was such a temptress and I did my best to control my breathing and pretend that I was deeply engrossed in my article.

"Are you busy?" she asked and moved a little closer.

I didn't know if it was possible but I could have sworn that I could smell her arousal at that point.

"Very," I said and didn't take my eyes off the screen.

_Don't look, don't look, don't you dare look!_

She moved even closer and I felt her lips on the side of my neck, kissing their way up to my ear.

"Don't you think it's time for a little break?" she whispered and tugged my earlobe with her teeth.

_Don't give in! The plan will be ruined if you cave! You're in control, remember?_

I simply shook my head and adjusted my glasses because I was afraid that my voice would crack if I tried to speak at this point.

"Fine!" Isabella huffed and jumped off the couch. "If you are that busy I'm going home."

I heard her grumble under her breath on her way to the door.

"What was that?" I asked and finally looked up at her.

She was beautiful, aroused and obviously angry with me for not wanting sex. Her chest was heaving and her face flushed. I had her right where I wanted her.

"Nothing," she muttered angrily. "I can take care of myself if need be. Whatever. I'm leaving."

_Game time!_

"You'll do no such thing," I said calmly, put my laptop away and approached her slowly. "In fact, I forbid it, Isabella."

Her eyes narrowed.

"Excuse me?" she asked incredulously. "You forbid _what_, exactly?"

"You're not leaving, and you're **not** taking care of yourself," I said firmly as if this wasn't a viable option for her.

I grabbed her shoulders and pressed her against the wall, making sure that she felt my erection against her lower back. She let out a small gasp when I took her wrists and lifted her arms above her head where I pinned them with one hand. I grasped her chin and turned her face to the side before I leaned in and whispered in her ear:

"You honestly think I'll let you leave? You've been waving that sweet pussy of yours in my face all day and you think I won't take it eventually? When it suits _me_?"

"I-I don't know," she whispered. "I didn't think you noticed."

I chuckled and traced the shell of her ear with the tip of my tongue.

"Silly little girl, of course I noticed. It's not like you were terribly discrete about it. You're practically begging for it, aren't you?"

I pushed my erection against her forcefully to emphasize my question, making her gasp again.

"You waltz around here in that skimpy little outfit, tempting me, distracting me from my work and you didn't think there would be consequences?" I asked and delivered a bite to her earlobe. "You've been a very bad girl, Isabella."

Her breathing had sped up considerably and I moved my hand down to her breast where I gave her already hardened nipple a pinch which made her yelp a little.

"What happens to bad girls, Isabella?" I asked and tightened my hold on her nipple slightly.

"They get…punished?" she asked breathlessly.

God help me, she sounded hopeful!

"That's right. And what happens to good little girls?" I asked and moved my hand to her other breast.

"They get rewarded?" she guessed and pressed herself against my hand.

"Clever girl," I murmured and returned my mouth to her ear where I nibbled the shell with my lips.

"Please," she whispered and tried to get her hands down.

"No!" I growled and gave her nipple a harsh pinch. "You're mine now. You've been throwing yourself at me, offering up your pussy on a silver platter and I've decided to accept. It belongs to me now and I decide when you get off, got it?"

"What?" she asked, looking slightly dazed.

She never saw this coming and the thought thrilled me. It was time to lay down the law.

"You're _mine_," I purred. "It's really very simple. You do as I say and you get rewarded. Disobey and you get punished. Understand now, sweetheart?"

She nodded hesitantly.

"Good girl," I breathed and massaged her breast firmly. "It looks like you're going to be a good little toy, after all. I can't wait to play with you."

At one point Isabella had made a comment about wanting to tie me up and use me as her fucktoy, but now I had beat her to it. When she heard me use that expression she glanced back at me, her eyes widening to the size of saucers. It seemed that she was finally getting the big picture and I was suddenly worried that she didn't want this after all. The last thing I wanted to do was frighten her and I released her wrists immediately and took a step back. She turned slowly to face me.

"Do you want this?" I asked softly.

She nodded immediately.

"Are you sure? I never want you to do anything that makes you even the slightest bit uncomfortable," I assured her. "If you prefer it I can make love to you instead?"

"No, I want this," she said eagerly. "You just took me by surprise, is all. I never expected this. But I want it."

_Thank God! I didn't scare her._

I cupped her face gently in my hands and gazed into her beautiful eyes.

"If I do anything you don't like you have to tell me immediately, alright?"

She nodded again.

"I mean it, Isabella. If I ever did anything unpleasant to you I don't think I could ever forgive myself," I said seriously. "I love you and I never want to harm you or cause you discomfort in any way."

"I love you too," she said. "And I swear that I'll tell you. I trust you and you can trust me. I want this. I want this with you."

"Then I suggest you get your ass in the bedroom and strip, sweetheart" I said while I suppressed a huge grin. "I'll be in shortly."

"Do you want me on my knees?" she asked.

_On her knees?_

Her question temporarily stunned me. Isabella obviously knew a thing or two about what we were about to engage in.

"Did I say that?" I asked curtly and frowned at her.

"No," she replied meekly.

"Don't worry," I chuckled. "You'll spend plenty of time on your knees tonight. In fact, I guarantee it. Now get moving!"

I gave her ass a swat and she hurried away. The second she was out of sight I leaned heavily on the wall and took a deep breath. I was equal parts nervous and excited about doing this. I so wanted Isabella to enjoy it. I recognized that my own pleasure was secondary tonight and that was fine by me. Isabella had been deprived in the last week and I wanted it to be mainly about her. I just hoped that I was ready. I had done all my research and I had even gone back to the shop that Jasper first took me to when I realized that I needed more supplies. I ran through my mental checklist of the items that I had purchased for tonight.

_Handcuffs, check. Blindfold, check. __Regular vibrator, check. Egg vibrator, check. Lubrication, check. Anal vibrator, check. Butt plug, check._

The last two items on the list were definitely the ones that made me the most or not they would be used would depend entirely on Isabella's reaction. I did suspect that she would gain a lot of pleasure from them but I couldn't be sure if she would want to use those particular toys. I would have to wait and see.

I drew another deep breath and prepared myself. Once I entered the bedroom there would be no room for hesitation and second guessing on my part. I would be forceful, confident and fully in control of the situation.

_You can do this! No big deal. You've done a lot it before, anyway._

That was true. I had talked dirty to Isabella, I had taken her roughly on a few occasions and even had her somewhat restrained once. But it was never in a setting like the one I would be creating in my bedroom where Isabella would serve me completely for the night and hopefully enjoy my ordering her around and tying her up. I felt almost certain that she would enjoy it very much. After all, she had been the one to first mention something like this and if I remembered correctly she had said that it would be "hot" being at my mercy. Still, this was a momentous occasion in our intimate relations. But I was no longer insecure and scared of sex, and deep down I knew that I desperately wanted to live out this fantasy with Isabella.

Maybe it was remembering the agitation she had always made me feel when she talked back to me in class and didn't respect my authority that made me so eager. Maybe it was the way that she had displayed her body for me in the past few days, driving me insane with lust for her. Whatever the reason, my hands were itching to dole out a little punishment and make her even more sexually frustrated than she already was.

_Just you wait, little girl. I'll make you beg for my cock before the night is over!_

My thoughts startled me for a second. The attentive well-mannered gentleman who had fetched Isabella's dessert at my parents' party had most definitely left the building. I found that I liked this temporary replacement a lot and adjusted my already throbbing erection. I turned off both of our cell phones and locked the front door on my way to the bedroom. No one would disturb us tonight; no one would hear Isabella's moans and cries of ecstasy. She was mine.

I entered the bedroom and the carnal desire I felt multiplied many times over by the sight of Isabella standing naked in the middle of the room, hands clasped behind her back and her head lowered in a submissive pose. I stalked over to her and circled her slowly, making my inspection.

"Beautiful, my little pet," I murmured and ran my hand over her silky wavy hair. "Are you going to behave for me?"

"Y-yes," Isabella whispered shakily.

"Sir," I supplied. "You will call me Sir or Professor as a sign of respect."

"Yes, Sir. I'll behave."

I noticed that she was already breathing faster, her skin was slightly flushed on her cheeks and chest and her nipples were erect; my Isabella was very aroused already.

_She wants this as much as I do__._

"I'm not entirely sure that I believe you, Isabella," I told her. "I think you like to tease and tempt me."

She didn't respond.

I walked up behind her, held her against me and made sure that she felt my erection against her lower back before I slipped my right hand in between her legs and parted her with my fingers.

"Just as I suspected," I whispered in her ear. "You're soaking wet and I haven't even touched you yet. It just proves how much you enjoy playing your little games to get my attention. You're not a good girl at all, are you?"

I inserted just the tip of my middle finger into her wet heat which made Isabella whimper and move her hips in an effort to get more of my finger inside of her.

"Answer me," I growled and gave her earlobe a bite. "A good little girl wouldn't be rubbing up against me like a cat in heat. You're being very naughty again, Isabella."

"No, I'm really a good girl," she whispered and tried to grind against me. "Please, I need you."

"What you need is a good spanking," I said and pushed her towards the bed. "It's long overdue if you ask me."

"Get on the bed on your hands and knees," I instructed.

Isabella complied immediately and without hesitation. I chuckled a little when I noticed that her legs looked fused together. Who was she trying to fool?

"Spread your legs," I said gruffly. "It's a little late for modesty, don't you think?"

She didn't answer but quickly did as I said. I walked over to the closet and retrieved the small bag which contained all my purchases from the "Good Vibrations" store, already unpacked, cleaned and ready for use. It was times such as these that my need to plan everything came in handy. I was beyond prepared to attend to the girl on my bed, who was trying to sneak a peek at me at this very moment.

"Eyes to the front!" I said sternly and watched as her head snapped forward again.

"I'm sorry, Sir," she whispered.

"Sorry you got caught," I snickered and walked up behind her again. "What am I going to do with you, you naughty, naughty girl?"

"Anything you want, Sir," she responded, the sincerity in her voice noticeable.

She was here to serve me and the thought filled me with both wild lust and deep undying love for her. I could do this because we loved each other and trusted each other. We both wanted this experience and I knew that Isabella would tell me if I did something that she wasn't comfortable with.

"That's right. Anything I want. Because your ass belongs to me now, my pretty pet," I told her and reached into the bag to retrieve the first item I wanted to use. "Get down on your elbows."

I took a few seconds to admire Isabella in this position; completely vulnerable and spread out for me. I could see how wet she was, how ready she was to receive me if I should choose to take her immediately. The thought only lingered for a second or two. That would be much too easy on her. I wanted her insane with lust for me before I would satisfy her.

"You're mine now," I told her. "Your orgasms are mine as well. That means you cannot come until I say so, understand?"  
"Yes, Sir. I understand."

"I have a present for you," I told her. "Would you like to know what it is?"

"Yes, Sir," she said with a hint of eagerness in her voice.

"Why don't I just show you?" I suggested. "After all, you are my toy and I'm eager to play with you."

Isabella nodded and I smiled while I put a little lubrication on the egg vibrator. When I ran it up and down her folds she gasped softly and I slowly pushed it inside her tight entrance to where I estimated that her g-spot was located. I picked up the wireless remote and switched it on the lowest setting, eager to see her reaction to the vibrations.

"Oh!" Isabella moaned and gripped the bed sheet in her hands.

"Like that, do you?" I asked, albeit completely unnecessary. I could tell already.

"Yes, Sir," she whispered huskily. "It feels good."

"I bet it does," I said. "Want some more?"

"Yes, please."

I turned it up another notch and Isabella started to move her hips back and forth. I took a deep breath, lifted my free hand and brought it down on the right cheek of her bottom with a resounding slap.

"Oh!" she gasped in surprise.

I waited with my heart in my throat to see if she would stop me, but she just moaned softly.

_Thank God!_

I hit her other cheek with the same amount of force and got the same reaction: Pleasurable sounds and more rocking back and forth.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I asked and delivered another slap, this time on the back of her upper thigh.

"Yes, Sir," she said, sounding slightly out of breath.

"You're not supposed to," I reminded her and brought my hand down on her other thigh. "This is your punishment."

She didn't respond and moaned again.

"Bad, bad girl!" I scolded and slapped the bare lips of her pussy three times in rapid succession.

That got a response out of her.

"Fuck!" she panted. "Please, more!"

I knew that I had stimulated her clitoris with the last three slaps and that she was begging for more of that. I could clearly see how swollen and wet her delicate pink flesh was and I knew it wouldn't take much to bring her to orgasm at this point. I wasn't about to give in, though.

"No!" I growled and instead I spanked her cheeks again without pause. "You've been a bad little toy, Isabella!"

Without warning I switched off the vibrations and delivered a particularly hard slap.

"No!" she cried. "Please don't stop, Edward. I'll do anything."

"_Edward_ is not here right now… your master is… and you will address me as SIR !" I growled and delivered another hard slap on both her ass cheeks.

"Are you sorry for all those times you distracted me in class with your sexy outfits?" I asked and slapped her again, although gentler this time.

"Yes, I only wanted you to notice me."

"Well, it worked. And are you sorry for making it impossible for me to think about anything besides fucking you? Are you sorry for making my cock hard when I should be working on a very important paper?"

"Yes, Sir. Please, please, please," she whispered.

"Turn around and show me just how sorry you are," I ordered.

Isabella moved around on the bed to face me, her eyes hooded with lust. I took off my shirt slowly and enjoyed the way she openly ogled my naked chest. I opened my pants and pushed them down along with my boxers thus freeing my throbbing erection. She licked her lips and looked up at me hungrily.

_That's right, sweetheart. It's for you. God, I love you so much. You are my whole world, beautiful girl._

I wasn't about to tell her that right now as I felt certain that it would change the mood drastically. I would tell her afterwards when I held her in my arms before we went to sleep. Right now wasn't the time for declarations of love. Now it was time for sex. Lots of it. I needed it and she needed it.

I grasped Isabella's chin between my thumb and index finger and made her look up at me.

"If you do a good job I'll reward you afterwards," I promised. "But if I'm not convinced how sorry you are, you'll be punished. I won't let you come at all tonight. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Sir!" Isabella nodded emphatically and sat down on the edge of the bed.

Immediately she reached out for me and I hissed when her tongue darted out and swept across the tip of my cock tasting the first drop of my arousal. She started licking my shaft in long slow strokes and I watched completely mesmerized as her pink tongue glided over my taut skin. When she suddenly moved her mouth lower my breath hitched it my throat.

_Is she going to…?_

Isabella stroked me firmly as she dipped her head back slightly and ever so gently took one of my balls in her mouth and ran her warm wet tongue over it.

_Holy shit!_

"Fuuuuck!" I breathed out, let my head fall back and buried my free hand in her hair.

She had never put her mouth on me like this before and the sensation was exquisite. I started panting as she stroked me harder and kept using her lips and tongue to caress me gently, but I didn't want to come in her hand tonight.

"Get up on your hands and knees again," I ordered, before adding, "I want to fuck your pretty mouth."

Isabella complied without hesitation and I switched the vibrator on again as a reward. She moaned softly around me as I pushed into her eager mouth and started thrusting. I needed to come badly and since I was in a position to control everything I really didn't want to wait any longer. I looked down at the beautiful girl in front of me and marveled at the sight. She was taking me in almost all the way at each pass and her face only held pleasure and enjoyment.

"You're loving this, aren't you?" I moaned. "You love sucking my cock."

I turned the vibrator up several notches.

"Mmmmpf!" Isabella moaned loudly around me and her eyes flew open in surprise.

Almost reflexively she lifted her right hand and started to trail it down toward the apex between her thighs.

"Don't you fucking dare!" I snarled and gave her hair a harsh tug.

I met her gaze, slowed down my thrusts considerably and grinned evilly at her. I knew how badly she wanted to come and I was amazed by the fact that she was acting this compliant. She put her hand back on the mattress again. I decided to test her. Call it morbid curiosity, but I wanted to see if I could provoke a reaction out of her which would then give me an excuse to punish her again, just a little.

"That's better," I said. "I always knew you just needed a firm hand and you would behave yourself. It's nice to know that the next time you start acting up all I need to do is spank your cute ass and you'll turn into my willing little slave. Look at you now; obedient, silent and I know that you just live to please me. All you need is a strong man to tell you what to do. Isn't that right, my pretty little toy?"

Isabella's eyes flared and I suddenly wondered if it was a good idea to taunt her while she had me in her mouth.

_Please dear God, don't let her bite me!__ I don't really mean it!_

She seemed to struggle with her temper for a few seconds before she nodded her head and continued to lick and suck me. However, something in her expression told me that I would most definitely pay for my last comment at a later date. That was fine by me. Isabella was no more a submissive than I was a dominant personality. This was merely an exciting game we were playing and we both knew it. Next time I might be the one who would be tied up. In fact, I was hoping for it. Then she would get her revenge for the sweet torture I was putting her through by not letting her orgasm.

_Which reminds me…_

I turned the vibrator up to its highest setting. Isabella's hips gyrated frantically, looking for something to rub against to bring her relief but she found nothing.

"Mmmm! Mmmpf!" she moaned loudly while her eyes pleaded with me to let her come.

She started to lift her right hand again and I immediately leaned over her and started spanking her.

"No! Bad, bad girl!" I scolded, bringing my hand down on her enticing ass repeatedly. "If you come I swear to God you will spend the rest of the night tied up getting fucked for my pleasure solely!"

Her muffled moans spurred me on and I started thrusting faster. Soon her mouth felt too good and I straightened myself again, almost desperate for my release. I threw the remote for the vibrator on the bed and buried both of my hands in her hair, gripping it none too gently. This only made Isabella moan again and the sensation was enough to bring me over the edge.

"Fuck….Coming," I managed to grunt just before I started releasing in her mouth.

Isabella sucked and swallowed fervently which intensified my orgasm and my knees became weak. She released me with a gasp, dropped her head and breathed heavily.

"Please, please," she whimpered below me and I looked at her, still caught up in my post-orgasmic haze and tried to figure out what she was pleading for.

My eyes fell upon the small remote and I remembered that the vibrator was still stimulating her from the inside and that she must be right on the brink of climaxing. I detangled my fingers from her hair and switched it off.

"No," Isabella choked out in a sob and I was shocked to see that she was on the verge of tears when she looked up at me.

_Shit! She thinks I won't let her come._

"Shh…Sweetheart," I cooed and helped raise her up on her shaking knees. "You did so well, beautiful girl."

"I did?"

"Of course," I reassured and kissed her lips gently. "You deserve a big reward now. But first things first; turn around and let me remove the vibrator."

She did as I told her and very gently I took out the egg which was now covered in Isabella's juices. I kicked off my pants and boxers that were still pooled around my ankles and was now as naked as she was.

"I'll be right back. Don't move," I said and walked out into the kitchen where I deposited the vibrator on a towel by the kitchen sink, ready for cleaning later.

I took a deep breath and went to refrigerator for two bottles of water. I gulped down half of mine immediately and prepared myself for the next phase. Isabella had more than proved how sorry she was for teasing me and how willing she was to serve me. Now it was time to take care of her. I returned to the bedroom and amazingly Isabella was still kneeling on the bed with her ass in the air. I felt the familiar stirring in my groin at the sight of her spread out and ready, but ignored it for the time being. It was time for her pleasure now and truthfully I had looked forward to this part the most.

"You can sit up," I said and offered her the water which she drank off eagerly.

"Lie down on the bed on your back, hands above your head," I told her afterwards.

Her eyes were big and curious and I was happy to see that she complied without question. I fished out the handcuffs and her eyes grew even wider. I had bought two new pairs since I wasn't entirely happy with the ones that Jasper had gotten me in the first place. These were lined with something resembling fur to prevent chafing of her wrists which could be a problem as far as I understood.

I hesitated for a second but since Isabella lay compliantly I proceeded and cuffed her to the headboard in what was a very natural-looking position for her arms.

"Comfortable?" I asked.

She gave them a small tug and smiled.

"Very, Sir," she whispered.

Next I showed her the blindfold which looked like the masks I had seen people wear for sleeping in various movies. It was black like the handcuffs and I knew that it would look good against Isabella's pale skin. She seemed a little hesitant when I went to put it on her and I stroked her cheek gently.

"Trust me," I said softly. "You can stop this anytime you want, sweetheart. Just say the word and I'll release you."

She took a deep breath and nodded.

"I trust you," she whispered and closed her eyes.

I slipped the mask on her, silently vowing that I wouldn't make her regret putting her absolute trust in me. I was going to make her feel fantastic.. I gazed upon her in wonder. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that would ever see a sight like this; a beautiful naked woman tied to my bed, completely in my power who would let me touch her as I pleased. MY woman. And the most surprising thing was how little trepidation I felt. I could do this. I knew her, and not just in the biblical sense. She was my lover, my friend and for tonight she was even my toy. I honestly didn't think that there was another man in the world as lucky as I was.

"My beautiful pet," I murmured and crawled onto the bed, straddling her hips. "What should I do to you now?"  
It was obviously a rhetorical question since I had had plenty of time to entertain the idea of having Isabella like this and my lusty imagination had provided me with a myriad of ideas.

"Please fuck me, Sir," she whispered.

"Mmm," I hummed and ran my hands down her restrained arms. "Would you like that? Is my little slave horny?"

"Yes…please," she begged and arched her back when I brushed my hands over her breasts.

My touch made her shiver lightly and her nipples hardened further as her skin broke out in goose bumps. I circled them teasingly with my fingertips and which made her arch again and spread her legs beneath me.

"What do you need?" I whispered.

"Touch me. Please, I need you!"

"Are you sure you're ready for me?"

She nodded vigorously and I moved down to kneel between her parted legs which she spread further immediately.

"Oh yes, I can see that you're ready," I murmured and pushed two fingers into her.

Isabella groaned when I pumped them a few times, coating my fingers in her arousal. Then I brought them up to her mouth.

"Open up," I ordered and pushed my wet fingers into her mouth.

She sucked them off eagerly and I did my best to ignore the twitches that it caused in my lower region. I dipped my fingers inside her again and this time coated her lips and nipples in her sweet juices. Isabella gasped when she realized what I was doing.

_I am being so naughty right now!_

I smiled at the thought because I knew it was true. The person that I had been before Isabella came into my life would have blushed furiously just thinking about doing something like this. And then he would have masturbated while thinking about it later that night and fallen asleep hugging his pillow afterwards while wishing that he was holding a woman instead, and longing to be brave enough to actually do something like this in real life. The person I had become was brave and the woman beneath me was real, warm and soft to touch. She was beautiful, completely turned on and longed for my attention.

And she was mine.

_God, I love her beyond comprehension. I am a changed man because of her._

I leaned down and kissed Isabella, tasting her arousal on both her lips and tongue while she moaned into my mouth. Then I grabbed her breasts and teased her nipples with my tongue before I sucked them clean.

"You're fucking delicious," I whispered and licked her nipples again. "But I think I need it straight from the source."

I moved down between her parted legs and gaped at the sheer perfection that met my eyes; soft bare lips, wet pink slit, swollen clitoris and a tight snug entrance that I longed to bury my cock in.

"You have the prettiest sweetest pussy. Are you so wet for me, my little toy?"

"Yes, only for you, Sir," Isabella said and raised her hips off the bed, silently inviting me to put my mouth on her.

"Do you want me to lick you? I bet you're aching for it by now, aren't you, naughty girl?"

"Yes! Please, please, please!" she half-yelled and bucked her hips desperately.

I chuckled and finally decide to give her what she wanted. I shivered with pleasure when I tasted her on my tongue and proceeded to give her long slow licks up the length of her sex. I added just one finger and moved it slowly in and out of her while I teased her clit with occasional flicks of my tongue. It wasn't enough to make her come, just drive her crazy.

"Please…more," she moaned and pulled on the handcuffs.

I leaned up and whispered roughly in her ear:

"What's the matter, little girl? You're not satisfied with what I decide to give you? You need me to fill your pussy? Fuck it nice and hard?"

"Please, oh God. _Please!_" she whimpered and lifted her hips to rub against me.

"I bought another toy for you," I said matter-of-factly. "But now I'm not so sure you should get to have it being such an ungrateful whiny pet. Maybe I should just fuck your mouth again and leave you in here for the rest of the night, all tied up and unsatisfied."  
That was a blatant lie, of course. I would never actually do anything like that to my Isabella. I was just playing a part and I hoped that she knew that.

"No! Please Sir, forgive me!" Isabella all but shouted and pulled on her restraints. "I'll be good, I swear. I'll be your good girl."

"I believe you," I told her and captured her lips.

She responded eagerly and kissed me back with so much passion that it left me breathless. She was definitely sorry and wanted to show me that.

"My sweet girl," I whispered and trailed soft wet kisses down her neck. "Of course you can have your present."

"Thank you, Sir. I want to please you," Isabella said and it made me smile because I felt the exact same way about her.

"You do please me, Isabella. Even if you're a bad girl some times," I whispered and kissed her again before I reached into the bag for her next gift; the vibrator.

"Open up," I ordered and nudged her lips with it. "Can you guess what I got for you?"

She groaned when I pushed it into her mouth once.

"It feels like a dildo?" she guessed with hope in her voice.

"Oh, it's even better than that," I said and trailed it down her body and teased her entrance with it.

Without further ado I turned on the vibrations and pushed it into her as far as it could go. It was a little smaller than me so I didn't foresee any problems doing that, and Isabella's reaction was certainly positive:

She shouted out an impressive list of expletives and her hips flew off the bed while the rest of her body writhed wantonly.

"Mmm, I think you like that," I hummed and took it out, only to move it over her clitoris.

"Ah!" she shouted and clenched her fists.

I held the vibrator still and watched as Isabella moved against it to bring herself pleasure. The sound of her soft cries combined with the stunning visual was incredible and I realized that I was staring at her with my mouth hanging open.

_Thank God I put the blindfold on her. I probably look about as attractive as a __fish trying to breathe on land. _

I decided to put my mouth to better use and replaced the vibrator on her clit with my tongue. I still wanted to use it on her though, and made her lift up her hips. I placed a few pillows under her lower back which provided me with a much better angle to really attend to her. I dove back in, so to speak, licking and nibbling ravenously at her swollen nub all the while thrusting the vibrator in and out of her at a frenzied pace. It was only a minute or so before Isabella's sounds of pleasure took on an air of desperation and she started pleading with me.

"Can I come?" she gasped.

I ignored the question and sucked her clit before rolling my tongue over it.

"Oh fuck, that feels incredible! Please, please, please can I come, Sir?"

"I'm sure you can," I grinned and stopped the sweet torture momentarily. "The real question is whether or not you _may_ come, my horny little pet."

"Oh God," she groaned. "Please, may I come?"

I decided to stop tormenting her. It felt as though I hadn't experienced her climax in forever and witnessing it was one of my favorite things on the planet.

"You may…on one condition."

"Anything!" Isabella all but shouted.

"When you come I want you to scream my name," I said gruffly. "And that's the only time I want to hear it tonight. Only when you come are you allowed to use my name. I want everyone in a two block radius to know who is making you feel good. I want them to know who you belong to. Got it?"

"I promise, I promise."

"Forget it just once and you'll be sorry!" I warned. "Your ass will be sore from spanking and your pussy aching from _not_ coming, so you'd do well to remember who owns both!"

"I swear, I won't forget," Isabella whispered. "I'm yours."

"Good girl," I praised. "Then you may come as many times as you can. Starting now."

I spent the next half hour or so completely engrossed in the miracle that was Isabella Swan's pussy. My lips, tongue and teeth attended to her throbbing clit and my right hand fucked her wildly with the vibrator. When she screamed out my name with her first orgasm a deep sense of pride and satisfaction warmed my chest. I was the only man in the world who had the privilege of doing this to her and it made me feel happier than anything ever had. Isabella was sharing herself with me, putting complete faith in me. It was profoundly powerful and spoke volumes about her feelings for me.

"Oh God, oh God," she panted, as she was coming down from yet another orgasm.

I turned the vibrator off and pulled it out of her. She needed a little rest. Her skin was covered by a thin layer of sweat and she was still breathing rapidly above me. I kissed my way up her body and caressed her gently to silently thank her for letting me experience this with her.

"Are you thirsty?" I asked and kissed her softly.

She nodded and licked her lips.

"Wait here. I'll go get you some water," I said.

"It's not like I have much of a choice in the matter," she chuckled and pulled on her restraints.

I laughed softly at my own idiocy and went into the kitchen to fetch a fresh bottle out of the fridge. I un-cuffed Isabella from the bed, figuring that right now we weren't really engaging in the game and therefore I could allow her the use of her hands.

"Hi, sweetheart," I said when I removed the blindfold and met her eyes. "How are you feeling?"  
"Really good," she replied with a lazy smile. "A little tired."  
"I know," I murmured and handed her the water. "Have something to drink and I'll let you rest."

She took a big gulp and her eyes drifted down my body where they lingered on my prominent erection for a few second before meeting mine again.

"Are we…done?" she asked uncertainly.

"Not by a long shot," I assured her and held the bottle up to her lips to encourage her to drink more.

After she finished the whole bottle I asked her if she needed the bathroom to which she nodded. When she came back out she asked if she was allowed to take a quick shower as well. I was pleased that she seemed to stay in character and told her that she was. She gave me a curious look when I followed her into the bathroom but rather than joining her in the shower I sat down on the toilet lid and watched as she turned on the water. She put her hair up and stepped under the warm spray.

"Don't close the curtain," I told her when she reached for it.

A tiny smirk played on her lips for a second before she hid it away and I wondered what that was about. I quickly found out, though, because what followed next was one of the most erotic things I had ever witnessed. Now, like most men I had watched pornography every once in a while, but had found the experiences wholly unsatisfying. The women were too much like real-life Barbie dolls to be considered beautiful and they did not seem to be enjoying themselves despite the fake sounds they were making. They only reminded me of my own failure as a lover and that was a surefire way of killing my erection.

There was, however, nothing fake about the show that Isabella decided to put on for me while she showered. The way she ran her hands all over her wet naked body spreading the soapy suds was more arousing than any sex scene on film. This was real and she was doing it just for me and my viewing pleasure. She spent an exorbitant amount of time washing her breasts and between her legs while she moaned softly. It made me wish I had a video camera. She turned her back to me and bent over to run her hands over her toned calves although my undivided attention was somewhere else entirely. She straightened herself slowly and moved her soapy hands over her backside while she glanced over her shoulder at me as if she was silently inviting me to give into temptation and join her. God knows I wanted to jump in that shower and take her against the wall but I managed to control myself. _I _was the one calling the shots tonight.

"Rinse off and get over here," I said while I slowly stroked myself.

Isabella did as she was told but rather than simply walking she dropped to her knees and crawled over to me. I gaped at her. Wet and naked with a mischievous look in her eyes, she was without a doubt the most alluring and sensual creature on the planet and recognized the truth of the situation. While I may have been the one giving out orders there was no doubt in my mind or my heart that she owned me completely. I played the part of the master tonight but the power that Isabella wielded over me was eternal, and the most surprising part was how this realization didn't frighten me one little bit. Even though she was the one on her knees ready to serve me, I was her willing slave and truthfully I wouldn't have had it any other way. I would happily spend the rest of my days loving Isabella and taking care of all of her needs, including the urge to be dominated every once in a while.

The fact that the side of my personality which craved control and order loved being bossy with her was merely an added bonus that I enjoyed immensely. I smirked at Isabella who was kneeling between my parted legs, eyeing my erection hungrily.

"See something you like, pet?" I asked.

"Yes, Sir," she replied breathily and licked her lips which caused me to twitch in my hand.

"You love sucking my cock, naughty girl."

It was a statement that I knew to be true.

"I do, Sir. May I, please?"

"Alright," I said indulgently as if I wasn't dying for another release but was merely granting a request. "But you need to be quick about it. I have plans for you and I want you to rest a little first."

It would most definitely spoil our fun if Isabella was too tired to truly enjoy the rest of our night together and I knew that she would benefit from a nap.

"Thank you, Sir," she said and started licking my shaft.

As wonderful as it felt and as stunning as the visual was, after a few minutes I was getting impatient and frustrated from her teasing licks and occasional sucks. I wanted to come and she wasn't obeying my orders. All she was doing was making me even more aroused and it occurred to me that she was doing to me what I had been doing to her earlier.

_Is she doing this on purpose to make me act more forceful with her? Is this her way of aggravating me? If so, it is definitely working!_

I reached down and grabbed her chin to make her look up at me.

"What did I just tell you?" I growled. "Suck my cock now and make me come, fucktoy! Or do you need another spanking to show you who's boss?"

Her eyes widened. I had never spoken so harshly to her before and while I would never do so in our everyday life together, it seemed fitting at this moment. I just hoped that she wasn't about to slap the hell out of me for taking things too far.

"No, Sir. I'm sorry," Isabella mumbled and took me in her mouth immediately.

She worked me fervently combining her lips, tongue, and hands and I knew that I wouldn't last long at all this time.

"Good girl. Fuck, that's good! Faster!" I panted and buried my hands in her hair.

She hummed around me and I felt myself hit the back of her throat as I came.

"Fuck! Fuck!" I gasped and barely stopped myself from gripping her hair roughly which would undoubtedly have hurt her scalp.

I slumped back in my seat when she released me; feeling completely exhausted all of a sudden.

_Christ, maybe I'm the one who needs a nap before we continue!_

"Am I forgiven, Sir?" she asked quietly.

"Of course you are," I said breathlessly and caressed her hair. "You're a good girl and I'm very pleased with you."

I opened my eyes and looked at her, still kneeling in front of me on the floor and realized that she was shivering a little because she was still wet from the shower.

"Stand up," I told her and started to dry her off with a big fluffy towel.

Afterwards I tucked her under the covers and told her that I trusted her to stay put and wouldn't handcuff her to the bed. I went into the kitchen, naked as the day I was born but that was hardly unusual anymore. Isabella and I spent a lot of time in the nude when we were just the two of us and I absolutely loved it. I poured us two glasses of some organic sparkling cider that Isabella had turned me on to and now it was a permanent item in my fridge. I also cut up some fruit and brought all of it with me into the bedroom.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her as I sat down on the bed and placed the tray on the nightstand.

"Good, Sir," she responded and smiled.

"You've done very well," I praised her. "I am pleased with you, sweet girl."

"Thank you, Sir. May I kiss you?" she asked, almost shyly.

"You may," I said while my heart fluttered in my chest.

Our lips connected and the kiss was filled with sweetness. Such a contrast to the way I had used her mouth for my pleasure just minutes earlier and I was glad that we were able to show tenderness as well. I never wanted her to forget how much I adored and cherished her despite the fact that I was ordering her around and being rough with her.

"I've brought you a treat," I told her when I pulled back. "After you've eaten I want you to rest a little. I'm not done with you yet and I'd hate to tire out my little toy."

She nodded silently but her eyes sparkled at the mention of more to come. It was only nine and we didn't have any plans tomorrow which meant that I had the whole night to play with my sweet pet. The next few minutes were spent feeding her pieces of pineapple and peach, kissing the fruit juices off her lips and giving her small sips of the chilled cider. She moaned enthusiastically after each bite and licked my fingers eagerly which made me grin. She really was an insatiable little thing. After we had finished our snack I told her to take a nap and was about to leave the room when she held out her hand.

"Stay with me please, Sir?" she asked and gazed up at me with her big beautiful eyes. "I'll miss you if you go."

My heart melted. How could I refuse such a request? I got my cell phone, set the alarm in case I fell asleep and joined her under the covers. Her body molded itself easily to mine as I spooned her and she closed her eyes.

"Good girl," I whispered and stroked her hair. "Sleep now. I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Promise?" she asked quietly.

"I promise. You're mine, Isabella," I said softly.

_And I'm yours._

"I like belonging to you," she whispered and pressed herself against me.

I tightened my hold on her and placed gentle kisses on her shoulder and neck while she drifted off to sleep. I knew that she worried about losing me just as she had lost her parents, her ex-boyfriend and her grandfather and I hoped she knew that I wasn't going anywhere. I let her sleep for an hour while I simply held her tight, listened to her breathing and enjoyed the feel of her in my arms. I was happy that everything had gone very well so far and Isabella had enjoyed what I had done to her. The next part had me most apprehensive but I wasn't about to show her that. I knew she would tell me to stop if she didn't like what I was doing, but I hoped that she wouldn't since the thought of playing with the two leftover toys aroused me greatly.

I rolled her sleeping form over on her stomach and carefully handcuffed her wrists to the headboard without waking her. Then I placed the small purple vibrator, the plug and the lubrication within reach but outside of Isabella's line of vision. After all, they were a surprise for her. I kissed the nape of her neck and moved down over her tattoo, placing kisses along the curve of her spine until I reached her lower back. I started gently kneading her cheeks and thighs while spreading her legs open. I kneeled in between them and now had complete access to Isabella's most private area.

"Edward?" she mumbled sleepily and her body froze when she tried to take her hands down but found that she was tied.

"What did you call me?" I asked in a stern voice and gave her inner thigh a small pinch.

Her head shot up.

"Sorry, Sir! Please forgive me!" she pleaded, sounding fully alert now.

"Did you forget who you were with, pet?" I asked in what could only be perceived as a condescending voice.

"I was still half asleep," she explained meekly.

"Well, if you're so tired maybe I should just fuck you fast and let you sleep for the rest of the night. I'm sure more play time would just exhaust you," I teased her and pressed the head of my erection against her entrance. "Of course, then you wouldn't get your presents or anymore pleasure. But, oh well…"

"No! I'm awake I swear, Sir," she insisted. "I'll be good."

"You _are_ a good fuck," I growled and rubbed my erection up and down her folds. "Why do you think I'm so eager to get my cock inside of you?"

"Oh God," she moaned softly and moved her hips suggestively.

"Yeah? You like it when I talk dirty to you?" I said roughly and grabbed her hips to keep them still.

"Yes, Sir," she nodded eagerly.

"I knew it. I bet it makes your pussy wet. Are you getting wet for me, pretty little fucktoy?"

"Yes, Sir."

I pushed two fingers deep inside of her and like I had predicted she was already aroused.

"You really _do_ like it when I'm rough with you," I concluded happily and slapped her left ass cheek a few times with my free hand before pulling my fingers out again and licking them off.

I bent down and placed an openmouthed kiss on the spot that I had just struck and then gave it a playful bite which made Isabella groan.

"Such a pretty ass you have, pet," I complimented and gave her other cheek a few light slaps.

"Thank you, Sir."

I grabbed a few pillows and told her to lift her hips off the bed and placed them underneath her to give me a better view and angle to work with. She was completely spread out and helpless, and I had to marvel at the fact that she was letting me do this. Her trust in me was astounding. I ran my hands up and down the length of her body, stroking and caressing as I went along and with each pass over her pussy she was becoming increasingly wet.

"You're all ready for me here," I said and spread her arousal over her clitoris.

"But what about here?" I continued and moved my wet fingers to her rear entrance.

Isabella inhaled sharply and tensed up. I had to reassure her immediately.

"I won't take you here tonight," I said and gently circled her with my fingertips. "But I am going to play with you and if you just relax I think you will like it a lot. Do you trust me, sweetheart?"

"Yes, Sir," she whispered and took a deep breath while her whole body relaxed visibly.

"Good girl," I murmured.

I decided that it would probably be best to arouse her even further before I tried anything new and reached for the regular vibrator. When I switched it on Isabella was on full alert again but as soon as I started teasing her clit with it she quickly forgot all about being nervous. I alternated between making small circles on her sensitive little mound and pushing it inside her until she was moaning loudly and moving her hips rhythmically. When I sensed that she was ready I left the vibrator inside her and reached for both the lubrication and the smaller vibrator. I applied plenty on both her and the toy, wanting this to go as smoothly as possible and took a deep breath. I was a little nervous about doing this but also incredibly turned on because I knew that I was the only one who had ever been allowed to do this to Isabella.

Ever so slowly I pushed the tip of the toy inside her tight entrance.

"Oh!" she gasped and clenched around the intrusion.

"Relax, relax," I whispered soothingly and stroked her lower back until her muscles did just that.

I held the smaller vibrator still and started fucking her slowly with the larger one as I had before. Soon she was rocking her hips again and without realizing it she was slowly pushing the small toy deeper into her ass. When I turned on the vibrations she cried out and raised the lower half of her body up which only made the slick toy glide further into her.

"Oh fuck," she groaned and I noticed that her hands were clenched around the headboard.

"Does it feel good?" I asked.

"Yes, Sir," she whimpered and moved herself up further until she was resting on her knees and elbows.

I moved the smaller vibrator in and out of her slowly and then used the larger one at the same time to increase her pleasure. This made Isabella moan even louder and push back against me to get more.

"I knew you were a naughty girl," I purred. "You love getting your pussy and ass fucked at the same time. Isn't that right?"

"Yes, Sir," she panted. "It feels really, _really_…"

I turned both vibrators up on their highest level and Isabella let out a loud yelp followed by continuous moaning when I moved both of them at a rapid pace. At this point I was more aroused than I could ever remember experiencing and desperate to be inside of her. It had been far too long since I felt her inner muscles flutter around me as I brought her to climax and I had an idea. I raised myself up on my knees and moved the larger vibrator to her front and pressed it firmly against her clit while I kept using the small one in her ass. Isabella wailed and arched her back beautifully.

"Please, Sir," she begged desperately. "Please, please, please, may I come?"

I could hear the urgency in her voice and I really didn't want her to fail since she had done so well all night, plus I was dying to bury myself in her wet tight heat. I let go of the anal vibrator for a second, lined myself up and slammed into her without warning.

Isabella's loud cry rang through the room, masking the groan I made when I felt the vibrations from the toy through the thin wall that separated it from my cock.

"Please!" she wailed.

"Come for me," I ground out through gritted teeth and did my best not to orgasm immediately.

I almost lost it when Isabella clenched around me and screamed out my name but thankfully I was able to control myself and fuck her slowly as she came down. I switched off both vibrators and pulled out of her even though I was dying to climax inside of her. Isabella flopped down on the bed and panted heavily into the pillow with her eyes closed. She was satisfied but I certainly wasn't. I reached into the bag for the plug and started to apply the lube on it.

"Get up!" I said and gave her ass a smack. "I'm not done with you yet."

Isabella scrambled up on her knees again and looked over her shoulder at me. She gasped when she spotted the plug in my hand. It was a little larger than the vibrator but not very and I really wanted her to try it. Not only could it also vibrate but it was shaped specifically to stay inside her which meant that my hands would be free to touch her elsewhere.

"Eyes straight ahead, bad girl," I commanded and spanked her a few times.

She hesitated briefly and looked like she was about to say something.

_Oh shit. Here it comes. I've gone too far!_

But to my great surprise she stayed silent and merely watched me with wary eyes.

"Isabella," I said with warning in my voice. "Let me tell what's going to happen now: You're going to look away and let me put this plug in your ass. Then I'm going to fuck you until your pussy can't take anymore and you finally learn to behave like a good little girl. Are we clear?"

I desperately hoped that she wouldn't say no, that she would trust my judgment and know that I would never hurt her in any way.

"Yes, Sir," she whispered and lowered her head submissively.

At that moment I wanted to take her in my arms, kiss the hell out of her and profess my undying love and devotion to her. Instead I stroked her backside gently and placed a soft kiss on her lower back. With a little encouragement and tender caresses I was able to slide the plug into her ass relatively easily considering that she wasn't used to something like that. But then again, neither was I. It was comforting to know that this was something we were both inexperienced with and Isabella still let me take charge.

"There's my sweet pet," I cooed and reached for the key to the handcuffs on the nightstand.

I released Isabella from the headboard and cuffed her hands together in the front before I told her to get on her hands and knees because I wanted to be able to maneuver her around at my leisure and still keep her restrained. I looked at her; handcuffed with her legs spread and a plug inside of her just waiting to be used for my pleasure. It was incredible! It went beyond my wildest fantasies and since I started reading up on sexual games I had certainly had my share of erotic dreams. But actually experiencing this with Isabella was a hundred times better than I ever could have imagined.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you look right now?" I asked her. "How much I want you?"

"No, Sir," she answered, but the way she arched her back slightly in silent invitation told me that my words pleased her.

"I'm so incredibly happy that I have you," I said sincerely. "It's certainly not every master who has such a beautiful pet."

_Or such a wonderful girlfriend. God, I am so lucky it's bordering on ridiculous!_

I gently rubbed her clit with the tip of my erection which made Isabella moan.

"And so eager to please," I mused. "So ready to receive me. I'm a fortunate man."

"Thank you," she said softly.

"Are you ready to be fucked, girl?" I asked and turned on the vibrations in the plug.

"Oh…fuck," Isabella gasped.

"That's not an answer," I scolded and slapped her bare lips.

"Yes, I meant yes, Sir," she said immediately. "Please fuck me."

I grabbed her and pulled her backwards roughly, sheathing myself in her until my hips slapped against her ass and she cried out.

"It feels good, doesn't it?" I asked and slammed into her repeatedly.

"Yes, oh fuck, yes!"

"My sentiments exactly," I growled and reached up to loosen her hair before I wrapped it around my hand and pulled her back against me over and over.

There was nothing gentle about the things that followed, but it was perfect just as it was. I took her in every position I could think of and we ended up with me on top of her while she was on her back. Both of us were flushed, sweating but still in motion as I drove into her at a frenzied pace. She was hot, wet and tight around me, having already come twice and seemed to be on the brink again. The plug created wonderful vibrations for the both of us and I knew I couldn't last much longer. Isabella was holding onto the headboard with her cuffed hands, her eyes were closed and her lips parted.

"Look at me," I said breathlessly.

She opened her eyes and they locked with mine immediately.

"You're mine," I panted. "I'm the only one who ever gets to fuck you ever again, understand? This is forever, Isabella."

"Yes," she croaked and wrapped her legs around my waist.

I could feel that she was about to climax so I wrapped my arms around her tightly, tucked her head underneath my neck and finally let go.

"Come with me," I breathed raggedly into her damp hair. "We belong together, you and I. You feel it too, don't you, my love?"

"Oh God, yes!" Isabella choked out as her inner walls clamped down on me. "I love you, Edward! I love you!"

I clutched her tighter to me and came inside of her, my hips thrusting of their own accord until I stilled and everything in the world except her faded away.

The feel of the vibrations on my overly sensitive cock brought me back to the surface and I searched blindly for the remote on the nightstand until I found it and turned it off. I picked up the keys to the handcuffs and released Isabella before I moved off her and curled up next to her with my head resting in my hand. She was still breathing heavily with her eyes closed and I gently caressed her beautiful face.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" I murmured.

"Perfect, Sir."

"Edward," I said gently, effectively ending the game.

"Edward," she whispered and opened her eyes to look at me.

I was shocked to see unshed tears and pulled her into my arms immediately.

"What's wrong?" I asked urgently. "Was it too much?"

"No, it was just really intense," she explained in a low whisper as she clung to me. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," I said, immensely relieved that nothing was wrong.

I took a deep breath and held her a little closer.

"And I meant every word I said. We belong together," I added. "Forever."

It was the closest we had ever come to discussing our future together: A future that hopefully involved living together, getting married and having children.

"Yes," she nodded against my neck. "We belong together."

I was tempted to discuss this much further but I didn't think it was terribly appropriate to do so in the current situation. Both of us were tired, drunk on orgasms, not to mention the fact that Isabella still had a plug in her ass.

_Hardly the time or place for talking about wedded bliss and babies._

I let out a chuckle which soon turned into a laugh.

"What?" Isabella asked, lifted her head and gave me an amused look.

"I was just imagining discussing our future while you still have that thing in you," I explained and stroked her backside gently.

"Oh," she grinned. "Probably better to save that for another time."

I nodded and smiled. But it didn't seem like there was much to discuss when she looked at me with so much love in her eyes. She felt it, same as me.

"Come on," I said and crawled off the bed. "I have a bit of aftercare to give you."

She quirked an eyebrow at me and followed.

"Aftercare? You really know your way around this stuff."

"I may have done a bit of studying," I said with a smirk. "Now bend over and let me get that plug for you."  
Isabella laughed loudly but did as I told her. Once I had it out I collected all the toys and put them away for cleaning. I hoped that we would get to use them again in the future, but it occurred to me that I hadn't made sure that Isabella was comfortable with everything that I had done to her. She was waiting for me in the bathroom where I drew us a bath. Once we were lying in the warm water I started washing her gently with a loofah. She relaxed her head back against my shoulder and kissed the line of my jaw while I soaped up her beautiful body.

"Isabella?" I asked hesitantly.

"Mmm?" she hummed, sounding half asleep already.

"Was it alright? Everything that I did, I mean?"

"It was perfect," she answered in a soft voice. "I loved it. Thank you so much, baby. You must have put a lot of time into planning this."

I breathed out a sigh of relief.

"I loved doing it too, even if it was for just this one time," I said, hoping that she wouldn't agree.

"Oh no," she laughed. "We are definitely doing that again, Professor. I had no idea you could be so forceful. It was insanely hot having you spank me."

"I really liked that," I admitted. "But…you know that I truly respect you, right? I hope I didn't make you feel inferior in any way?"

"It was just a game," she said lightly. "You're not really like that. I can appreciate the difference."

"Good," I said. "And I know you wouldn't _ever_ let me boss you around unless it was in a sexual way and we were playing a game."

"You've got that right," she grinned and gave my neck a playful bite. "But I love that we can do stuff like that."  
I nodded in agreement. Tonight would definitely go down as the most adventurous sex we had ever had.

_Up until now. Who knows what we'll do next?_

The thought that we would have plenty of other occasions to explore each other's carnal desires filled me with excitement and I held her a little tighter. But then I realized that while the sex was utterly mind-blowing, that wasn't the part I looked forward to most in our future. It was times such as this where we talked, laughed and shared a different kind of intimacy all together. When there weren't any games or toys and we were simply Edward and Isabella; two people who were madly in love and wanted to be together despite our many differences.

"I love you, sweetheart," I whispered and kissed her hair.

"I love you too, baby," she replied. "Thank you so much for tonight. You were really perfect…"

_But…_

"I'm sensing a 'but'."

"No, it's just…It was fantastic and God knows the orgasms were stellar but I think I like it even better when we're together like this. Does that make sense?"

She turned and gazed up at me.

"It does to me," I said with a smile. "This is my favorite time. The sex was incredible, but this right here…this is everything to me."

I pulled her up and kissed her tenderly.

"Let's get out before the water gets cold," I said. "I'm going to give you a massage before we go to sleep and tomorrow I'm taking you out for breakfast. We haven't really been out together in public yet."

"Do you think we're ready for it?" she asked.

I knew that once word got out that Isabella and I were in a relationship the rumors would start to fly. But seeing how there wasn't any evidence to prove that we had been involved while she was still in my class it wouldn't move past that. And frankly, I didn't give a damn about the gossip. I was proud to be Isabella's boyfriend and anyone who didn't like it could go to hell for all I cared. I loved her and she loved me. That was all that mattered.

"I think we're ready for anything as long as we're together," I said sincerely, and the smile on her face told me that she felt the exact same way.

**Um, ta-da?**

**That's what 43 pages of smut looks like. I feel slightly perverted that I was even able to write that much. Eh, what are you gonna do?**

**I hope you all liked it and I think it's safe to say that Edward has graduated from his 'sexucation' with honors. **

**Until next time; stay pervy! **


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Sorry for the massive delay. I wrote a little one-shot which sort of took on a life of its own and I ended up ****working solely on that for all of December and January. It's called My Viking, there are eight chapters so far and if you haven't already I encourage you to check it out. It's very different from this, but I hope you will like it just the same. **

**Melanie deserves extra thanks this time because of the phenomenal job she did on especially the dialogue in this chapter. She knows the Professor's voice very well. :) Great job, my friend! **

**Oh, and for a long time I have been calling this story the anti-dote to angst, keeping it very fluffy and light. Um, yeah. That part couldn't last. (Melanie and I needed tissues for this chapter)**

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

Summer was fantastic! How could I not have realized this before? Well, I knew why, of course. Because before I hadn't had Isabella by my side for most of it. To me, summer had always been a time for quiet contemplation, catching up on reading and articles and going out to the occasional movie on a weeknight if I was feeling particularly adventurous.

_God, I was so sad!_

Everything was different now that Isabella was my girlfriend, and throughout the summer we had been practically inseparable. She stayed at my apartment every night without exception and the only times we were apart was when I went to the gym and lunch with my brother and Jasper, or she met up with her girlfriends for dinner. I asked her to come with me to Napa for my annual wine trip and she in turn invited me to come to Los Angeles with her for a few days.

We ended up doing both and it was wonderful! In the wine country we stayed at a romantic B&B, walked everywhere holding hands, went to tastings and made love under the clear blue sky. I wasn't even afraid of getting caught and finally got to live out my dream of being with her outside. Isabella wore pretty dresses, flat sandals and her hair down the entire time. I must have taken about a hundred pictures of her looking radiantly beautiful in the sunlight.

A few weeks later we drove to Los Angeles with the top down in her sports car, stayed in a fancy hotel and spent the first night screwing each other's brains out, as Isabella charmingly put it afterwards when we were enjoying room service meals in bed. I simply laughed and told her to eat up because she would need her strength on this trip. She took me shopping, showed me all of her favorite stores and even convinced me to go to a rock concert with her. It wasn't as bad as I had expected. The music was a little too loud and it wasn't exactly my taste either, but like most things we did it was an adventure and seeing how happy it made Isabella that I was part of her world made it all worthwhile.

I had been a little worried about how to tell my colleagues about my relationship as they would undoubtedly find out once school started up again, and since I considered some of them my friends I didn't want them to think that I had been hiding anything. I told Ben because he was the one whose opinion meant the most to me. It was extremely nerve wrecking and he was a little shocked at first. Not about the fact that I was seeing someone, because he had already figured that out on his own when he saw how happy I was now in comparison to before, but who the someone was. Ultimately my apparent happiness was what mattered the most to my friend and I was thrilled when he invited me and Isabella over for dinner the following night. I was a little nervous about Ben and Angela meeting her but of it turned out much better than I could have ever expected.

My lovely girlfriend conquered their hearts completely when she offered that we would take the twins off their hands for a day and go to an amusement park. It turned out that Isabella had some babysitting experience and the two little girls took an instant liking to her because she was "cool". I wasn't exactly regarded quite as highly by them but I was allowed to tag along at Isabella's insistence that we were a package deal. We ended up having a fun, albeit slightly stressful day keeping track of the two of them, mostly because I was moronic and thought that giving the girls cotton candy and soda was a great idea when Isabella went to the bathroom. I had never spent a lot of time in the company of children and I had no idea that sugar could affect them in such a way! Needless to say, my girlfriend put herself in charge of the girls' snacks for the rest of the day.

As for telling the rest of the world, we decided to merely let people discover our relationship on their own. Isabella said that she had changed her relationship status on Facebook and I finally learned why she hadn't been listed as 'single' before and had chosen the rather ambiguous 'it's complicated' status which I had obsessed over to an unhealthy degree when we first started seeing each other. It turned out that she merely did it to avoid being propositioned and also that she wasn't truly single while she was seeing me since she wasn't interested in being with anyone else. That made me feel warm on the inside and I realized that she had been mine for a lot longer than I had ever realized. After that I changed my status as well and even uploaded a photo of the two of us in Napa as my profile picture. I knew that it was only a matter of time before people would figure it out on their own and that seemed better than making some big announcement. We just wanted to be together and that was all that mattered.

As it turned out, however, other people weren't quite as understanding about Isabella and I spending every waking and sleeping moment together alone and that became abundantly clear when Alice and Rosalie demanded that we should all go out on a Saturday night in early August. Apparently, the three of them used to go out every weekend and that hadn't happened at all this summer.

I had noticed that Isabella had been a bit off the last few days, sometimes staring into space for long periods of time, but when I asked her if something was the matter she always assured me that she was fine. I assumed that perhaps she was becoming a little restless since she wasn't as much of a homebody as I was and thought that a night out was just what she needed. I told her as much and she agreed that a night of dancing was perfect, which was how we ended up in a very fancy-looking night club downtown. It wasn't my favorite way to spend an evening but I didn't feel nearly as out of place as I would have just a few months ago. I certainly looked the part after having spent quite a bit of money on new clothes in Los Angeles. My girl was stunning in a red dress and heels, but she still seemed a bit down.

It wasn't very noticeable but I knew her well enough to see that she wasn't nearly as excited about the outing as her two girlfriends who immediately wanted to conquer the dance floor when we entered the club.

"Come on, Bella," Alice coaxed. "This is why we came here!"

"In a little while," she answered and took my hand. "We'll go get us a table first, okay?"

Our four companions moved to the dance floor and while Isabella secured us a table I got both of us a drink. I soon realized that the girl by my side was well-known in this club and every few minutes people would walk by and wave or say a quick hello to her while curiously eyeing me. They all called her Bella and it sounded so strange to my ears because I only thought of her as Isabella. I decided to get to the bottom of the mystery.

"Sweetheart?"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you ever correct me when I call you Isabella?"

She turned her head and looked at me.

"I mean, everyone else gets to call you Bella. Why not me?"

_God, I sound jealous.__ I should really just shut up about this. Now._

And yet I kept going.

"It's just that…well; when someone calls you by your full name you usually correct them. Emmett and Jasper call you Bella."

"Do _you_ want to call me Bella?" she asked patiently.

"No."

_What exactly was my point with this conversation?_

Isabella looked confused which was to be expected since I wasn't making sense at all.

"I just wanted to know why you don't correct me?" I said lamely and brushed something invisible off my jeans. "Why you won't want me to call you Bella when it's what you prefer. Why it's different with me."

"Because it _is_ different with you," she said. "You're my boyfriend."

"Yes, but I wasn't at first," I reminded her. "I've called you Isabella from day one and you never said anything. I didn't even know that you preferred Bella until I saw you with your friends."

She sighed and took a sip of her drink.

"The truth?" she asked.

"Of course," I said, hoping that I wouldn't regret this.

"I, uh, used you at first, Edward," she said with regret in her voice. "When we started fucking I used you as a distraction to forget about the bad shit in my life. I always invited you over after I had gone to see Pops at the home. He wasn't doing too well at the end and…it was really fucked up, actually."

She let out a bitter laugh.

"This really isn't a conversation for a Saturday night out," she said after a few seconds. "I don't want to bum you out."

"Don't be ridiculous," I said softly and took her hand in mine. "Nothing's more important than getting to know you better and having you share things with me – even if some of them are unpleasant."

"You really mean that," she said and gave me a lopsided smile.

"Of course. I don't really care about this," I said and motioned around the club. "I'm here to be with you and if you want to tell me about your grandfather you should do it. We can go home right now if you prefer it."

"No, I promised the girls," she said and motioned towards the dance floor where my brother and Jasper were doing their best to keep up with Rosalie and Alice. "We haven't been out in ages."

"I guess I have been monopolizing you a bit lately," I admitted reluctantly.

"I've let you," she said with a smile. "This has been the best summer of my life. I have loved every minute of it."

"For me, as well," I agreed.

"I never expected it to be, you know?" she said. "I never expected you."

"What did you expect?" I asked curiously.

"For my summer? A lot more of this," she said and motioned around the club. "A lot more drinking, waking up in strange beds and being hung over."

I shuddered lightly at the thought of Isabella being with another man and pulled her a little closer.

"I'm not ashamed of how I used to be," she said quietly. "But I used sex as a distraction. Even with you. That's why I let you call me Isabella."

"I'm not sure I understand," I admitted.

"Nobody has ever really called me Isabella. I've never felt like an Isabella before but with you I got to be someone different. It was so easy being with you, Edward. Whenever I had a bad visit with Pops I would send you a text and you were always so happy to see me when you came over. You called me Isabella, and you were so nice to me. We never really talked about anything too heavy and with you I could just relax. You know, laugh and watch movies and have great sex. I needed that so much, you have no idea. You were exactly what I needed then."  
She squeezed my hand and leaned into my side.

"Alice and Rose are great. I couldn't ask for better friends, but they knew everything that was going on and I hated it when they looked at me all pitiful. Like, poor Bella. Her mom and dad are dead and now her grandfather is dying as well. I even found out that Rose didn't tell me that her parents were in town for her birthday because she was worried that it would make me sad and remind me that I don't have my parents anymore. I love my friends for supporting me and always being there but I just needed something normal. I needed to be your Isabella on those nights when you came to see me."

She took another sip of her drink and drew a deep breath.

"And then he died. I mean, I knew it was coming. He had gotten so much worse that he couldn't even get out of bed. He wasn't living anymore, it was just awful."  
She shook her head sadly.

"But then I went to you and you made everything better," she said and looked up at me. "I don't even know how you did it but I just felt so much better the morning after the funeral when I woke up next to you. Again you were exactly what I needed."

"I remember," I said. "It was the best morning of my life. Up until that point, at least."

She lifted her face up to mine and kissed my lips gently.

"I love being your Isabella. I've never been anyone's Isabella before," she said softly.

"Then you always will be," I promised sincerely. "My sweetheart and my Isabella."

"Thank you," she whispered and leaned up to kiss me again.

She really shouldn't thank me. It should be the other way around but I was too busy enjoying her soft lips on mine to argue with her. Eventually I was forced to let go of her and she was hauled onto the dance floor by the other girls while Emmett and Jasper joined me at the table. We watched the girls as they drew the eyes of every man in the room but it didn't worry me. I knew that Isabella loved me and simply grinned into my hand when I overheard two young guys at the bar comment on her good looks while I was waiting to be served.

"That's Bella Swan from my American history class," the first one said. "She's completely out of your league."

"I know," the other one grumbled. "But it doesn't hurt to look."  
"Yeah, but you'd better do it now. I hear that she's leaving in the fall. Going to Europe or something like that."

_What? Where would he get that impression?_

"No way," the other guy whined.

"Yeah, she won that fancy scholarship. Um, what's it called…Shit, I can't remember. Anyway, it's the one where you get to go to pretty much any college you want in Europe. Full…something. I saw her name in the university newsletter."

_Fullbright? Isabella won the Fullbright scholarship?_

Of course I had heard of it. Winning was a great honor. But…she couldn't have won. She would have told me if that were the case. I didn't even know that she had applied for any scholarships. And the Fullbright, no less. That meant a year of studying in Europe, all expenses paid.

_Is she leaving?_

My insides clenched with fear.

_No! _

I drew a deep breath to calm my galloping heart.

_No. She wouldn't do that. She wouldn't just leave. I know she wouldn't. __She loves me. She wants to be with me._

My momentary panic was leaving my system. Isabella loved me and she wouldn't leave. But then why would the guy next to me say something like that? How many Isabella Swans were there in the city? Only _my_ Isabella as far as I knew. But there had to be some kind of mistake. She hadn't said a word about this to me and things between us were fantastic.

_But she __has seemed distracted lately and a little down. Is she trying to figure out how to let me down easy before she leaves? _

_No! Stop thinking that! She loves you, damn it!_

I had to talk to her immediately or this speculation would drive me insane. A rush of fear went through me when I turned and couldn't see her anymore and I practically ran to our table where Emmett and Jasper were still seated, talking and relaxing.

"Where is she?" I demanded, cringing when I heard just how desperate and panicked my voice sounded.

"Who, Bella?" my brother asked. "They all went outside for a little fresh air."  
He held up two fingers to indicate that they were actually smoking. I nodded and rushed towards the exit, leaving them confused. Once outside I quickly walked towards the end of the building where I had noticed there were a few tables and chairs set up for the smoking crowd.

"You're really not going?" I heard Rosalie ask, and stopped dead in my tracks just before I was about to round the corner.

"No, I'm staying here," Isabella answered.

It was not the first time that I had eavesdropped on their conversations but at this very moment I couldn't focus on how wrong it was because relief flooded my system at the sound of her words, and suddenly everything was alright with the world again.

_She's staying! Thank God!_

"But…why?" Rosalie asked, sounding shocked.

"You know why," my girl said quietly.

"Because of a guy? Seriously, Bella?"

Rosalie's voice wasn't angry. She sounded…disappointed.

"Edward isn't just some guy," I heard Isabella say and I felt certain that she was using air quotes while she spoke. "I love him."

_I love you too, sweetheart. So much__ that it hurts my heart to think of you going away. _

"Bella," Alice said hesitantly. "You know how much we like Edward, and you guys are great together…but this is what you've always wanted, isn't it? Your dream? Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

_Et tu, Alice?_

"I'm sure," Isabella said. "I want to be with Edward."

"We know you do," Rosalie said. "But you haven't been together very long and you've talked about studying abroad for as long as we've known you. I just don't want you to miss out on this opportunity. What would your grandfather say if he knew that you were throwing your dream away like this?"  
"He would want me to be happy!" Isabella said, sounding angry now. "Edward makes me happy and I make him happy. We love each other and I am not going to fucking lose him!"

I couldn't keep listening to their conversation like this and decided to walk back inside. I was experiencing a lot of opposing emotions. On one hand I was thrilled and relieved that Isabella wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her, but on the other hand I was a little sad that she wouldn't have that experience and that her friends were disappointed with her decision.

I found that I couldn't tear my eyes away from Isabella when she returned. She was right here with me and I couldn't stop staring at her, marveling at her beauty, grace and zest for life. She drank more than I had seen her do before but the alcohol only made her more vibrant with shining eyes and rosy cheeks as she danced the night away, being the perfect picture of youth and lightheartedness. She didn't seem affected by the conversation that I had stumbled upon outside and I was happy to see that she laughed and talked with Rosalie and Alice as though nothing had occurred. The matter seemed forgotten. Of course it wasn't, as I came to realize when Alice sidled up to me while I was standing at the bar watching my lovely girlfriend dance circles around my brother.

"She's not going anywhere," she said out of nowhere and took a sip of my beer, something which might have seemed rude, but really it just made me warm on the inside that we were so familiar with one another now.

I turned and looked at the tiny girl by my side.

"You've been watching her like you're scared that she'll vanish into thin air in front of you," Alice continued. "You know, don't you?"

I nodded.

"She's staying here. Did you know that?" she asked.

I nodded again.

"Yes, I overheard you talking outside before," I admitted.

"She's staying here for _you_, Edward," Alice said pointedly. "Just for you."

"Is that so bad?" I asked. "I…I love her, Alice. More than anything."

Her eyes softened.

"Have you ever heard the expression 'if you love something let it go?'" she asked.

"It's 'If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours. If they don't they never were'," I corrected automatically. "Richard Bach, American novelist."

I stopped and processed the words I had just quoted.

"Oh," I said dumbly.

"I don't want you two to break up," Alice said quickly. "But I'm worried that Bella isn't even considering her options because she's so scared of losing you."

She looked up at me.

"I mean, if she decided to go, would you dump her?"

"No!" I said, much too loudly.

Alice grinned and nodded.

"I didn't think you would. Just…talk to her, okay Edward?"

She turned and looked at Isabella who was laughing and dancing.

"She's finally able to go," she said. "She took care of her granddad for a long time and sacrificed a lot because she loved him so much. She has always put everyone else first. She's free to do anything now. Please just talk to her. Make her be honest with you. Find out what she really wants, alright?"

"Alright," I nodded solemnly.  
Isabella caught my eye, ran over and jumped into my arms to kiss me. She seemed so happy and I hoped that for once Alice was mistaken. The rest of the night went by quickly and before I knew it we were headed home in a taxi.

"Did you have a good time tonight, sweetheart?" I asked and kissed Isabella's hair.

She was leaning against my side with her head on my shoulder, looking sleepy and a little inebriated.

"Mmm…the best," she mumbled and tried to fight her way out of her seatbelt to get closer to me.

Thankfully she gave up the struggle after a few seconds and kept it on.

"I'm glad," I whispered and tried to forget the things that Alice had said to me.

Isabella wanted to be with me, I was sure of it. Right?

After we got home and Isabella freshened up in the bathroom she perked up and made tea for us while I watched her move around my kitchen with the ease of someone who was clearly used to being there. She did want to be here.

_But why hasn't she told me about the scholarship?_

"Isabella?"

"Yeah?"

She looked at me and smiled.

"You're, um, happy…right?" I asked hesitantly.

"Of course," she answered immediately.

"And…you feel fulfilled?"

"Fulfilled?" she grinned. "Why are you being weird?"

"Sorry," I chuckled. "I didn't mean to be…weird."

"What's going on with you?" she asked and carried our mugs into the living room where we sat down on the couch.

I took her hand and laced our fingers. Hers was so small in mine and I kissed the back of it gently.

"Edward?" she asked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I assured her. "I just…I know about the scholarship you won."

I needed to know why she hadn't told me.

"Oh," she said quietly. "You saw it in one of the newsletters?"

"No, I heard two students talking about it at the club," I said and decided to be completely truthful. "And I, uh, I overheard you talking to Rosalie and Alice about it. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, it just sort of happened."

I was surprised when she gave me a smile.

"I'm glad," she said, sounding relieved. "Then you already know I'm not going."

"Yeah, I heard you say that," I admitted. "It's a huge honor to win though, sweetheart. Congratulations."

"It's no big deal," she said dismissively.

"Yes, it is a big deal - why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I only found out a few days ago and I didn't know what to say, really. It's not like I even wanted to go."  
"Really? You applied with no desire to really go?" I asked and watched her closely.

"Yeah," she said. "I only applied as sort of a joke. Just to see if I was good enough. I knew I wouldn't ever actually go. I mean, I couldn't possibly leave the country when I had Pops to take care of."

"But you don't anymore," I reminded her, unnecessarily.

"No but still, I can't just up and leave," she insisted as though the matter had been decided ages ago. "Besides, I've already been to Europe and stuff."

"Yes, but this isn't some backpacking trip after high school," I argued. "This is a really prestigious study opportunity."

"So what?" she said lightly. "Why are we even still talking about this? I don't want to go."

Her eyes met mine for a brief second before she looked away.

_Oh God._

There it was: The lie. Isabella could never tell a convincing lie, at least not to me. She _did_ want to go and she wasn't being truthful right now. I hadn't realized it outside the club because I couldn't see her face but it was so obvious now and my heart constricted painfully when confronted with the truth. I knew what I had to do, but I really didn't want to do it.

"You should go."

Her eyes widened.

"What?"

_My sentim__ents exactly. What am I saying?_

"You should go," I said again. "It's your dream. And an amazing once in a lifetime opportunity. I heard you talking with the girls. I know how long you've wanted this."

"Yeah, once maybe, but not anymore."

"Isabella. It's the Fullbright. You DO want it. You have to go."

"I can't!" she insisted. "I have commitments here. I knew that when I applied."

"But your grandfather isn't here anymore, sweetheart," I said gently.

"But _you_ are!" she half-yelled and pointed to me.

"Isabella," I sighed. "You just compared your commitment to me to that of taking care of your ailing grandfather. I may not know a lot about romantic relationships but I know that they're not about limiting each other. There's nothing holding you back now."

"My apartment," she said, grasping at straws.

"You own it," I reminded her. "You wouldn't even have to put your things in storage."

"There's Rose and Alice," she said weakly.

"They want you to go. You know they do," I said. "They want you to have this experience because they care about you."

"There's you," she whispered while she gazed up at me with her beautiful eyes. "My sexy geeky boyfriend."

My heart melted and as much as I wanted to be utterly selfish and hold her back I somehow knew that Isabella would end up resenting me for it one day if I did. She had so much life in her and I didn't want her to end up like me in ten years with all this regret. Sure, my life was wonderful now, but the past decade was filled with missed opportunities to travel and gain new experiences. I wanted Isabella to have everything that life had to offer and therefore I had to act maturely and make her do the right thing. No matter how much it killed me to let her go.

"I won't let you do this," I said gently. "You're not throwing away a once in a lifetime opportunity just to stay here because of me. If we weren't together you wouldn't hesitate for even a second, would you?"

Her silence answered the question.

"Take me out of your decision making then," I said and nodded.  
Her eyes filled with tears and she took her hand away from mine.

"You…You want us to break up?" she whispered and looked down.

"No!" I gasped. "No, I would never! I love you, Isabella! God, I love you so much, sweetheart."

I pulled her into my arms, needing to show her that this was by no means an attempt to end our relationship. I had meant it when I told Alice that I wouldn't break up with Isabella if she went away.

"I want you to have everything," I continued. "That's why you can't factor me in, because you'll have me whether or not you go. You can have the Fullbright _and _me. I'll wait for you. You _have_ to go, and I'll still be here when you get back."

She shook her head and the tears spilled out onto her cheeks.

"No," she whispered. "I won't leave you. We promised we wouldn't leave each other."

"You won't," I croaked and swallowed the lump in my throat. "We'll still be together. I swear! We promised that we wouldn't get scared and abandon each other - even if things got tough. This isn't the same, sweetheart…I don't want you to have regrets like I do. Before I met you I was so scared of everything even remotely out of the ordinary and familiar. I don't want you to look back on your life ten years from now and wonder what might have been. I don't want you to regret _us_ because you thought you had choose between the two. You CAN have both. "

I could see that my logic was getting to her. She knew that I was right even if we both wished that I wasn't.

"I only want you," she insisted. "I don't want us to break up."

"We won't," I insisted just as firmly.

"Long-distance relationships are a crock of shit, Edward," she said and pulled back before wiping her eyes. "They never work out. At least a few thousand high school couples learn that every year when they go off to college on opposite ends of the country."  
"It may not for others, but it _will_ work for us," I said. "We're not in high school. We're two adults and it's not like you're going to a party school with fraternities and um, "keggers" I believe they're called."  
She couldn't help but smile a little.

"You know you can trust me," I continued. "I won't stray. I will never do a thing to hurt you."

"I know that," she said softly. "I wouldn't ever do that to you, either."

"And it's not as though we won't see each other," I told her and took her hand again. "You'll come home for Christmas and I can visit you for spring break. There are three day weekends here and I'm sure they have all kinds of crazy holidays in Europe when you won't have classes."

I leaned down and kissed her lips gently.

"We can write letters and emails. We'll talk on the phone all the time," I said and kissed her again.

"Or Skype," she sniffed as the last of her tears dried up.

"Absolutely! I, um, I don't actually know what that is, but we'll do that too!" I assured her and watched as she smiled again.

"Please don't think that this has to end. I want you to follow your dream, corny as that sounds," I said. "We can work together and make this work, sweetheart. I know we can!"

"How can you be so sure?"

She looked up at me and I cupped her face in my hands.

"Because we love each other," I said softly. "And because we want to make it work. It won't be forever and we still have a little time before you have to leave, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," she said and nuzzled my chest with her cheek. "I can't believe you've talked me into considering this."  
_I can't believe it either. I've actually been trying to convince my girlfriend to leave me for almost an entire year. There has got to be something wrong with me!_

There was, and I knew it by name. I was having a horrible case of being a mature grownup. It would be so much more gratifying to be young and stupid at a moment like this and tell Isabella that she shouldn't go, that there was nothing out there in the world for her, and that she ought to stay with me forever. But of course I couldn't do that, however much I wanted to.

"I just want you to be happy," I whispered.

"I am," she said. "I already am, I swear."

"But you want to go," I whispered into her hair.

She didn't say anything but I felt her breathing pick up as she pressed herself against me.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered. "I don't know why. I'm so happy with you, Edward. I shouldn't want to go."

She let out a sob and started crying in earnest.

"There must be something wrong with me," she cried and clung to me.

"Oh no, sweetheart," I whispered and lifted her all the way into my lap. "There's nothing wrong with you for wanting to go. I understand."

"I don't," she said and shook her head.

"It's the right decision. You're so smart, Isabella. The smartest most dedicated student I've ever had in any of my classes. Of course you want to go where you can learn more," I told her. "You wouldn't be the girl I fell in love with if you didn't prioritize your studies."

After having lived with Isabella during her finals I knew how much her education meant to her and I didn't understand how I could have thought for even a second that she truly didn't want this wonderful opportunity that so many students competed over.

"Please, can we just not talk anymore about this tonight?" she whispered. "I'm tired and I can't think about deciding anything right now."

I nodded and stood up, still holding Isabella in my arms. She was so light and I carried her easily to the bedroom where I lay her gently on the bed and undressed her. Her eyes never left my face as I took off my own clothes and lay down between her parted legs. Our kisses were deep and unhurried, our caresses slow and loving. When I pushed into her she moaned softly and her eyes never left mine.

"I love you," she told me over and over again, as if she was afraid that I didn't believe her.

But I knew that she loved me. She loved me so much that if I asked her not to go, she wouldn't. She would give up her dream to stay here with me and I knew that I had to do the same. I would have to give up the dream of seeing her every day and sharing a real life with her. I had planned to ask her to move in with me once the semester started but I knew that wouldn't happen now. My dream had to wait in order for me to support her to see her dream come true. For her I could do this. Only for her.

She hadn't said anything but somehow I knew that the decision had been made. She was leaving and it was the way it was supposed to be. The sweet girl in my arms who had experienced so much death in her young life was finally going to live life to the fullest, taking every experience that it had to offer.

And I would be right here waiting for her to return to me. I had no other choice because she would be taking my heart with her when she left.

"I love you," I whispered as we lay close together, tired and satisfied after our lovemaking.

I held her closer as though she was already slipping away from me. But she was still here, soft and warm in my embrace. I would spend every moment with her from now and until the second she had to leave and it wouldn't be nearly enough. It would never be enough. I knew it and yet I couldn't ask her to stay. I wouldn't do that to her. She had made me come alive and given me so many new experiences and adventures. How could I possibly stop her from pursuing the one thing she had wanted but never thought she would achieve? Isabella would go to one of the finest universities in Europe and dazzle them with her wit and knowledge. She would learn things there that she couldn't here and once she returned she would be even further ahead of her peers.

And she would be able to do this because she had people back home who loved her and supported her decision, especially her boyfriend. I would send her off with a smile on my face and then I would come home, lock the door and cry my eyes out because my heart was gone, along with the only woman I would ever love.

"I love you, Edward," Isabella mumbled and snuggled even closer to me.

"Forever," I whispered and closed my eyes to hold back the tears. "Forever, my sweetheart."

***Gulp* Um, please just trust me? **

**One chapter left and a short epilogue. I don't know when I will be able to write them. From now on everything depends on when the baby decides to come. It could be tomorrow or in three weeks. I have no way of knowing. **

**Take care until next time. :)**


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**That's right. I am back! Thank you so much for all of your greetings congratulating me on the birth of my son****, Anton. He and I are both doing splendidly: He's gaining weight, I'm trying to lose it. My husband is still on paternity leave and is only driving me moderately crazy so far so that's good. :)**

**Anyway, here's the next chapter. It made Melanie cry so there's your tissue warning. As always, she has done a great job beta'ing and be sure to leave her some love in your reviews. The story wouldn't be the same without her. **

**Enjoy!**

EPOV

The incessant beeping of my alarm clock woke me up and I silenced it with my eyes remaining closed. I didn't feel well-rested at all. My arm swept across the cold patch of mattress next to me, a harsh reminder that I was alone in bed. Again. Still.

Isabella had been gone for more than two months. How I had managed to make it this far I had no idea.

It hadn't gotten any easier to wake up without her but at least I had somewhere to be, a purpose for getting out of bed. It was the middle of the fall semester and I had classes today.

_It's__ afternoon over there. Isabella is probably at school right now attending that lit class she told me about._

She had chosen to go to London for her year abroad, both because she was able to get into a great university but also because she had loved the city when she visited it after high school. Even the fact that she had been there with her idiotic ex-boyfriend, the one who cheated on her once they got to France, hadn't changed her feelings about it and it had been her top priority. Of course she was accepted immediately and on September 1st she had boarded a plane to New York and then another one to Gatwick Airport just outside of London.

It hadn't been easy convincing her to go. There were many tears and heated arguments between us in the days after I found out about the scholarship. She had been extra-ordinarily stubborn about the whole thing but thankfully I wouldn't relent and with the help of both Alice and Rosalie we were able to make her see that it was the right decision for her. All three of us had assured her that we would still be here when she came back and that nothing would ever change the way we felt about her. I truly believed that. Splitting up or going on a break never once entered my mind and Isabella never mentioned anything like that either. I still wanted to be with her and maybe I was naïve, but I fully believed that we were the exception to the rule when it came to long-distance relationships and their lack of success. I still believed that with all my heart. We would get through this. Together.

My feelings for Isabella hadn't waned at all in the time that she had been away and I hoped it was the same for her. We talked on the phone at least every other day and we sent emails every night before bed. I lived for those emails and phone calls. Even if she had had a long and tiring day she always wrote me at least a few lines telling me what she had been doing and ending it with an 'I love you.'

Always 'I love you'.

Every time I read those words they made my heart clench. Every time she whispered them over the phone they brought tears to my eyes. I missed her more than I could ever put into words, something I discovered when I tried my hand at writing poetry as an outlet for all this heartache that I felt. What a disaster that was! I was certainly no poet. I was just a man in love who desperately longed for his girlfriend to return to him. I had written her dozens of letters in which I told her how I couldn't sleep without her, how nothing was the same without her and how I longed for her desperately. They were all lying in the top drawer of my desk. I couldn't send them to her because I knew that they would only make her sad and that was the last thing I wanted.

I could feel it creeping up on me: The loneliness, which had been my almost constant companion before Isabella came into my life and filled it with love, laughter and passion. Things I never knew life could be filled with, things I could actually have. I didn't realize how lonely I was back then but now it seemed that I couldn't escape it. I felt it all the time. I did my best to keep it at bay, spending nearly every day at the university instead of working from home because I couldn't stand being in my empty apartment all day. My parents invited me over a lot more than before and I was grateful for their pity. I took whatever I could get to postpone crawling into a cold empty bed at the end of the day. I would lie there staring up at the ceiling, wondering if Isabella was asleep half way around the world or if she had already gotten up. She never mentioned having trouble sleeping when we talked, but then again neither did I.

I was being brave for her every time we spoke. All I really wanted to do was beg her to come home, even though I knew it was horrible and selfish of me. And of course I never did that. I asked about her classes and the friends that she had made at school, I laughed at the stories she told me of stuffy old professors who claimed not to understand her 'Yankee' accent and smiled when I listened to her describe all the things she saw around London. I told her that I loved her, I missed her, I was so incredibly proud of her and then I hung up, and on the nights when I was feeling particularly miserable I would cry myself to sleep. Naturally, no one knew this. Not my brother when he asked me how I was holding up, not my parents when they hugged me for a little longer than they used to, not Ben or any of my colleagues when they wanted details on the classes my brilliant girlfriend attended and especially not Isabella herself.

I would never tell her how badly I was coping without her because I knew it would make her feel guilty for leaving. She was doing so well over there, just as I had expected that she would and I needed to pull myself together and be supportive. Even if her absence was killing me, even if I was miserable every single day we spent apart and even if I fell asleep and woke with nothing but her on my mind. She was succeeding and fulfilling her dream, and I wasn't about to ruin it for her because I couldn't cope with her absence. I had been the one to encourage her and I would continue to do so even if it meant hiding my true feelings.

_But God__, I miss her._

I rolled over on my stomach and buried my face in what had been her pillow. It now served as something for me to cling to, pathetically, when I thought my heart would break into a million pieces if I had to spend one more night without having her in my arms. I shifted my hips and pressed myself into the mattress, noting with disinterest that I had an erection. I hardly even bothered with Kerou-whacking these days. It was just an empty release when the pressure became too much. After having been with Isabella there was no pleasure in self pleasure.

I finally got out of bed, still not feeling well rested in the slightest and completed my morning routine with slow lethargic movements. I looked at myself in the mirror and cringed. A tired old man stared back at me. Well, maybe not exactly old, but I certainly didn't feel young either. Not anymore. I just felt miserable. And with that miserable feeling as my constant companion I went to work where nothing was exciting because there was no opinionated brunette with smudgy makeup in the front row to challenge me.

Now, I will be the first to admit that I didn't cope very well with Isabella's absence. Having never been subjected to heartbreak and longing, I was certain that I reacted much like a lovelorn teenager. I sulked, I pouted and I wallowed. However, I was still shocked by the sight that met me when I returned from the university and found four familiar concerned faces waiting for me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked my brother and his entourage as I let us all into my apartment. "Did we have plans?"

That was not likely since I had avoided their company most of the time. It just hurt too much being the fifth wheel and I didn't like intruding on their double dates. I also felt quite certain that they only asked me because they felt sorry for me. I looked at them expectantly and noticed how Alice and Rosalie exchanged nervous glances. Dread hit me out of nowhere.

"Did something happen to Isabella?" I demanded. "Is she alright? Tell me!"

"No! She's fine," Alice assured me immediately. "We're, um, we're actually here for you, Edward."

"Me? What do you mean?"  
I looked to my brother.

"This is sort of an intervention, bro," he said, looking awkward, which was something I never thought I would experience.

"An intervention?" I asked dumbly. "Uh, but I don't have a drinking or gambling problem."

"You have a Bella problem," Rosalie said softly.

I gaped at her, thinking that she was kidding but I quickly realized that she was being perfectly serious. They all were.

"No, not a problem," Jasper corrected. "That's not what this is about. We're concerned. You're not acting like yourself."

I laughed bitterly because perceptive as Jasper usually was, he couldn't be more wrong. I was exactly what I had been before I met Isabella: Lonely, miserable and sad.

"You never want to come out with us," Emmett said. "We've asked you so many times and you always say no and then I'm bumming because I know that you're here all alone. It's not good for you."

"I know you miss her," Alice piped up. "We miss her too. But you can't put your whole life on hold because she's away. Bella wouldn't want you to sit home every night by the phone waiting for her call. You _can_ leave the house, Edward. That's the whole point of having cell phones."

She smiled as if she had just made a joke, but I couldn't see anything funny and frankly her attempt to make light of my misery made me angry.

"It's so easy for you, isn't it?" I almost sneered. "Coming here to my home and accusing me of…what exactly? Missing her too much? Reacting badly to the fact that I feel gutted and hollow and really fucking miserable all the goddamn time? Well, I do! Sorry to disappoint you! How the hell would you react if Jasper suddenly moved away? You two can't stand to be apart for two fucking minutes! I'd like to see how you would cope!"

I pointed an accusing finger at the tiny girl who looked embarrassed, probably because she knew that I was right. She and Jasper had been almost inseparable ever since they met. But the hurt look in her eyes made my anger dissipate as quickly as it came. Emmett was gaping at me and I remembered that he had never really heard me swear before. I still didn't do it very often outside the bedroom but I was feeling beyond frustrated and sad, although I hadn't meant to take it out on Alice. She was merely trying to help. They all were.

"I just…I miss her, you know?" I said weakly and sat down on the nearest chair, feeling exhausted. "Sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"It's okay," Alice said. "I can't imagine how hard this must be. We just miss you, Edward. We like having you around and um, we kind of promised Bella that we would make sure you didn't turn all reclusive once she left. She was worried about you."

"You haven't told her anything about me, have you?" I questioned. "That I haven't been, err, coping well?"

That would be just awful. Isabella couldn't know any of this. It would only cause her pain to know how badly I was faring without her. Alice shook her head, looking sad.

"No, but maybe you should."

"Are you joking? What good could possibly come out of that? I can't ruin this for her!" I said firmly. "Besides, you were the one who made me encourage her to leave in the first place, remember?"

"I know," Alice nodded. "But I didn't think it would affect you like this. Both of you."

"Both of us?" I questioned.

"You _and_ Bella," she said quietly.

"Alice," Rosalie said.

"What do you mean? She's doing great over there. She loves her classes and London, and she's made some good friends already," I told Alice, although I shouldn't have to remind her of this since she talked to Isabella almost as often as I did.

"Edward, about that," Alice started.

"Alice!" Rosalie said, more insistent this time. "Don't."

"What's going on?" I demanded. "Tell me!"

"I think maybe I made a mistake," Alice said and leaned into Jasper when he put his arm around her.

"A mistake about Isabella?" I asked.

She nodded.

"I'm not entirely sure that Bella is as happy as she's letting on. I knew that she was going to miss you, but I didn't expect her to…be so…I don't know, sad," she said with a helpless shrug.

I didn't understand. Isabella seemed fine whenever I talked to her on the phone.

"We think that she's pretending for you," Rosalie continued. "She wouldn't want us to tell you, but I guess Alice is right. Bella isn't really happy over there like we thought she would be."

_What?_

I felt as though someone had punched my stomach. Or at least I imagined that this was what how it would feel.

_Isabella is sad__ and hiding it from me! _

This wasn't how it was supposed to be at all! The whole point of her leaving was to make her happy. That was the only thing that mattered and it was only because her happiness meant everything to me that I had been able to endure her absence these past two months.

"She's pretending?" I whispered. "She's been lying to me?"  
Rosalie sighed.

"She wants you to be proud of her, Edward. She's always talking about her studies and how she can't wait to tell you about something that has happened in class. She looks up to you, you know?"

"But I'm proud of her no matter what she does," I said quietly. "She doesn't have to have a perfect GPA. That's not why I'm with her."  
"Maybe you should tell her that," Alice suggested. "She's so hard on herself when it comes to school, and having a professor for a boyfriend probably isn't helping her loosen her ambitions just a little bit and actually enjoying herself while she's abroad. She's always at the library when we talk to her."

I nodded pensively. I knew that my girlfriend spent a great deal of her time studying but I had never considered that she might be overdoing it. I had always been very studious myself, but when I thought about it I knew that it had never brought me genuine happiness. Isabella had been the one to provide that and while we had been together here I had eased up on my workload and for once I didn't turn in articles at the earliest date possible. I had relaxed and had fun for the first time in my life. I wanted the same for her. What was the point of her going to an entirely different continent if she spent every waking hour cooped up in a stuffy library?

"And…I think she's really worried about losing you," Rosalie added. "That you might meet someone else while she's away."

"But that's preposterous!" I protested. "I would _never_! She has to know that by now!"

"She does know," Alice said. "She's just scared, Edward. She's far away and she's been hurt before."

"I know," I nodded. "But I would never do anything like that to her. Not in a million years. She's my world; my everything."

Jasper smiled at me, just as much of a hopeless romantic as I was, he knew exactly what I meant.

"Tell her that," he said knowingly. "She probably just needs to hear it."

"I will," I promised and turned my attention to Isabella's friends.

"Thank you for telling me," I said sincerely. "I really do appreciate it. I just wish she would have told me all of this herself."

"Yeah, but you haven't told her about your recent mood, have you?" Emmett asked with a grin. "I mean, I half-expected you to grow out your bangs and dye your hair black."

_Huh?_

I stared blankly at my brother.

"You know, 'cause you're all emo and shit?" he asked while the others smiled knowingly.

I felt very much out of the loop.

"Never mind," he finally said and waved his hand dismissively. "Do you want to come out with us for dinner?"

I hesitated for a moment.

"Please?" he asked.

"Okay," I smiled lightly. "Thank you. That sounds nice."

The returned smiles from all four of them made me feel warm on the inside. I had been foolish to push them away, thinking that it would make Isabella's absence easier not to see our friends. But now I was worried about my girl. I needed to talk to her and thankfully the perfect opportunity to do so presented itself the very next day.

From her own description, Isabella lived in an old quaint apartment and her internet connection had been shoddy at best, only allowing her to send and receive emails and do searches, but today she was getting it fixed and we had a web camera date tonight. Or this afternoon, on my time, if I was being completely accurate. I couldn't wait to see her. Earlier that month Emmett had helped me set up the camera and also installed the Skype software while making entirely inappropriate comments on how Isabella and I would use it. I would be lying if I said that the thought of doing something sexual hadn't crossed my mind but I would leave it up to her to decide. The most important thing to me was to see my lovely girlfriend and make sure that she was doing alright. I couldn't get Alice's words out of my head. Was it possible that perhaps Isabella wasn't as happy as I thought? She always seemed so cheerful on the phone when we talked but wasn't the impression she had left with her friends at all.

The whole thing left me feeling somewhat conflicted. I wanted Isabella to be happy and fulfilled in London and yet there was a small part of me which would feel relief if it turned out that she too was having difficulty dealing with our separation. So far I hadn't gotten any indication that she found it unbearable and it was unsettling to think that she could so easily be without me when each day felt like torture to me. I didn't doubt that she loved me but I also wanted to know that she longed and ached for me as I did for her.

The day passed far too slowly for my taste and my classes seemed dull and never-ending. I just wanted to be home in front of the computer, listening to her sweet voice and finally seeing her lovely smile again. Of course I had a whole myriad of pictures to look at but to actually watch her face light up when she saw me was the kind of thing I dreamed about at night.

Finally the day was over and I rushed home, locked the door and silenced my phone before turning on my computer. I felt giddy with excitement as I put on the headset that Emmett had supplied me with and dialed her Skype number. The dark screen illuminated and there she was.

_Isabella. My Isabella._

"Sweetheart," I breathed out. "God, you're beautiful."

Lace and silk, dark hair and pale skin, pink lips and brown eyes. My girlfriend, my love.

"Edward," she sighed and drew a deep breath. "Hey baby."

I knew that I was supposed to say more but I couldn't get a word out. It had been so long since I had seen her and my eyes swept over her face and upper body for several long seconds before I was able to speak again.

"What are you wearing?" I asked, even though I could see it plain as day.

"Oh, do you like it?" she smiled.

I nodded dumbly and hoped that I wasn't drooling. She was wearing some sort of lingerie which was something I had never seen on her before this moment. On most days she didn't bother with bras at all and while I loved the easy access to her amazing breasts there was something very enticing about the black lace and silk contraption she was wearing.

"You look so sexy," I whispered roughly, not recognizing my own voice.

My body was a livewire of pent up sexual desire and I felt myself straining against the front of my pants. It had been so long since I had experienced anything more than the weak unsatisfying orgasms I gave myself in the shower and my mind clouded with thoughts of her, naked and aroused.

"Show me," I practically moaned when she fiddled with one of the shoulder straps. "Pull it down."

She complied and my eyes fixed on her chest where her nipples were peeking out just above the fabric.

"Oh fuck," I groaned as my hand inched closer to the buttons on the fly of my jeans. "Touch yourself, sweetheart."

Her hands moved over the swell of her breasts and I finally popped the top button, more than ready to start stroking myself.

"That's it. Imagine that they're my hands, Isabella," I whispered. "I'm the one touching you."  
Her hands froze just as they were about to reach their destination and I looked up at her face wondering why she stopped. Her eyes were closed and out of nowhere she covered them with her hands.

"No, you're not," she whispered. "You're not here."

"Isabella-"

"You're not here!" she choked out as her upper body crumbled forward and I realized with absolute horror that she was crying.

"You're so far away," she sobbed. "Why are you so far away, Edward?"  
Before I could say anything she stood up and moved out of my field of vision.

_No, no, no! Come back!_

"Isabella!" I yelled into the microphone. "Isabella! Please, talk to me, sweetheart. I'm so sorry!"

I was horrified with myself and how I had just acted. What happened to talking to her and making sure that she was doing alright all the way over there? That she was happy and enjoying herself?

_Oh God, I basically treated her like she__ was my own personal peepshow! _

I had never felt so ashamed in my life. My beautiful girl was crying and it was entirely my fault. I had barely even said hello before I had asked her to take her clothes off. What was wrong with me? How could I have been so callous towards her?

"Isabella, please!"

I could see her now, pacing and crying into her hands but it didn't look like she was still wearing her headset and I couldn't hear her anymore. I started frantically searching for my cell phone and dialed her number all the while watching her intently on the screen of my computer. I saw her picking up her phone and looking at it for a moment before she held it up against her ear.

"Isabella, please don't hang up," I rushed out. "I'm so sorry! Please talk to me."

All I heard was her labored breathing and quiet sobs.

"I'm right here, sweetheart," I urged. "Please say something."

"No…you're not," she whimpered. "You're not here. We're not together."

My chest felt too small and my heart pounded almost violently against my ribcage.

"We are!" I insisted. "We're together. You're my sweetheart. Please…please, don't give up on us."

I saw her walk back over and she sat down in her chair in front of the computer. Her cheeks were wet and her eyes glistened with more unshed tears. It broke my heart.

"Please, don't give up," I begged again.

I reached out my hand and my fingers traced over the image of her face on the screen. I couldn't offer any warm touch or arms for her to find comfort in. The helplessness I felt was staggering. She was absolutely right. I was so far away from her. She was thousands of miles away and I couldn't hold her in my arms, which was what she so desperately needed.

"I-I love y-you," I managed to choke out before I swallowed the lump in my throat and fought back the tears. I could only give her my words and I hoped that it was enough. "Do you still love me?"

The whole world seemed to stop in the moment after I had asked the most important question of my life so far. What would I do if she didn't love me anymore? How could I possibly go on without her? What would become of me?

"Yes," she whispered.

_Oh, thank you, God!__ And Jesus. And Mary, even though I'm not catholic! Just…Thank you!_

"Please, tell me."

"I love you, Edward," she said quietly and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I love you so much."

"Then please don't lose faith in us," I begged urgently. "We will be together soon. Christmas is just around the corner."

"No, it isn't," she said. "It's almost two months away."  
"They'll go by so fast," I lied, since I knew that it would be longest two months of my life. "Before you know it you'll come home to visit."

She shook her head sadly and rubbed her naked arms. She knew as well as I did that the time we spent apart seemed to move at a snail's pace.

"I'm cold," she whispered and wiped away more tears. "It's so cold here already. With all the Dickens I've read you'd think I would be prepared for that."

"It feels cold here as well," I replied, even though the temperature outside was close to sixty.

It may as well have been freezing. Without Isabella's sweet smile and warm embrace everything seemed bleak and frigid and my chest felt cold and empty.

"You should put something on," I said softly.

She didn't move.

"I don't want you to get sick," I pressed.

"I won't," she muttered and looked into the screen.

Her eyes seemed so vacant and sad now. I wondered if she had looked like this all the time she had been in London. I hoped not. I hoped that this was merely the result of a bad day and that tomorrow her effervescent zest for life that l loved so dearly would return.

"Please put on something warm and turn up the heat. Maybe make yourself some tea. Then we can relax and talk when you're comfortable," I suggested.

I gave her a weak smile but she didn't return it.

"How can you stand this?" she sighed despondently. "You're talking about tea and warm clothes like that's going to make everything alright. I'm not alright, Edward!"

She looked down as her voice turned sad and scared.

"Why is so easy for you to be away from me?"

I gasped.

"Easy? You think it's easy for me?" I asked incredulously.

She shrugged her shoulders and rubbed her arms again.

"You seem fine," she whispered. "Like it's no big deal that we're not together."

I shook my head.

"Isabella, first of all: We _are _together. I'm still your boyfriend and that won't change, I swear. And second: I am not even close to being fine. I miss you terribly."

"I miss you too," she replied with a voice which sounded a little strangled from unshed tears. "Edward, what the fuck am I doing over here?"  
"Well, you're living out your dream," I said.

"Fuck my stupid fucking dream!" she yelled out of nowhere and bolted from her chair. "I hate this!"

"You hate it? Your classes or England? Or both?"

I was stunned. Isabella had never given me any indication that she didn't like being in London. I knew that she missed me but I was under the impression that she was thriving, both with school and with making new friends.

"No, I guess I don't actually hate it," she amended with a sigh. "And I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I know what an amazing opportunity this is and that a lot of people would kill for this. I just…"

"Just what?"

"I hate being away from you," she whispered, sounding dangerously close to tears once more. "I miss you so much and I'm scared…scared that we won't make it."

Her last word turned into a tiny wail and she flopped down on her chair again and wrapped her arms around her middle as though she was hugging herself. I could only watch helplessly as her body shook and heaved with sobs and I witnessed my beautiful girl release what must have been months' worth of suppressed sadness and frustration. After a few seconds my vision blurred.

"Isabella. Isabella, please," I begged hoarsely and touched the screen again, as if that could somehow bring her comfort. "Don't. Please don't cry, sweetheart. I can't. I can't bear it."

I gave up on holding back the tears in my eyes and simply let them flow freely. I couldn't pretend anymore. I was just as miserable as her and for a minute or two I simply let her cry because she seemed to need it so much. And truthfully, I needed it too. It wasn't easy always being an adult and putting on a brave face for the world.

"I'm sorry," she sniffed after she had calmed down. "I thought I could do the whole webcam sex thing but it feels all wrong. It just reminds me that you're not here. And somehow I feel even more alone."

"It's alright," I assured her immediately. "We don't have to do anything. And I'm sorry for being so forward. I just…I really miss being with you, um, like that. Uh, and in every other way, too. You know that, right?"

She gave me a small sad smile and nodded.

"I'm freezing," she said and rubbed her arms again. "I guess I'll change and make tea, okay?"

It was my turn to nod and smile but the second she was out of my view it melted off my face. We couldn't keep doing this. Isabella wasn't happy and neither was I. Something needed to change and soon, or I worried that Isabella would perhaps think that it might be easier for both of us to put our relationship on hold until she returned to the States. But if that happened I feared that it would turn into a breakup and that was too horrible to even contemplate. All this time I had thought she was doing so much better than me but as it turned out, this wasn't the case at all. I needed to weigh my options.

Isabella could come home, but I discarded that possibility immediately. This opportunity was much too important for her.

_I can go to her._

Of course I had considered this before Isabella left. If I could somehow go with her. But I had quickly come to the sad conclusion it was impossible unless I quit my job at the university. I had classes this semester and it had been much too late to cancel them by the time I found out about Isabella's scholarship. I didn't have a lot of money and could not risk losing my steady paycheck. Therefore I had stayed behind even though I wanted to follow her.

_I need my job. I can't just quit. _

Unfortunately, this was still true. I wasn't independently wealthy and I couldn't survive without employment.

_What am I going to do?_

Once again, I almost wished that I could act young and irresponsibly: Leave my job and hope that something else would fall into my lap. But the sensible adult part of me knew that this was not realistic at all. The bad economy meant that fewer students chose literature as their major and instead opted for ones that would lead to financially sound careers. There was hardly a demand for lit professors and I should consider myself lucky to have a great job to begin with. I would hate to jeopardize that, and yet deep inside I knew that given the choice I would quit in a heartbeat if I had to choose between teaching and being with Isabella. I couldn't lose her. Not for anything.

"Are you alright?"

I looked up and saw that she had returned to her seat in front of the webcam, once again wearing her headset and also a much too large beige sweater which looked awfully familiar.

"Is that mine?" I asked, as I turned my phone off and switched to the Skype.

"Yeah, I sort of stole it," she nodded and hugged herself. "It reminds me of that night I had dinner at your place. You were wearing it."

"Our first date," I said softly. "Even if I didn't want to admit it to myself."

"I didn't either," she whispered. "But it was more than just sex even then, wasn't it?"

I nodded.

"It was never just sex. I was crazy about you from the very first moment I met you. I was just too stupid to see it," I admitted. "I couldn't stop talking about you, complaining about you, actually. I think Emmett tried to get me to see the truth but I was too stubborn. I was determined to believe that you were all wrong for me."

I drew a breath.

"But you're not. You're everything I want, that I could ever want, sweetheart. You are my whole world."

"Thank you," she said. "I think I really needed to hear that tonight. I'm sorry I had a meltdown."

"Don't apologize. It's hard for me as well. I understand completely."

I could clearly see that our separation had affected her just as much as it did me. She looked both paler and perhaps even a little thinner. I didn't like it one bit.

"Drink your tea," I encouraged. "Have you eaten dinner?"

"Yeah," she nodded and took a sip. "Vindaloo. They have great Indian food here."  
"I'll learn how to cook it for you," I promised. "Then you can have it all the time when you come home."

She smiled a little wider and it made my heart flutter. I needed to make her smile more.

"Um, knock knock!" I blurted.

She raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously?" she asked with a small grin.

_Yes, seriously? A knock knock joke? Is that the best you can come up with?_

I searched my mind for something more sophisticated yet humorous to tell her but quickly realized that I had nothing. A comedian I was certainly not.

I nodded sheepishly.

"Who's there?" she asked indulgently.

"To."

"To who?" she asked.

"To whom," I replied.

She simply stared at me.

"Uh, it's because it's grammatically incorrect to say 'to who,'" I explained lamely. "Um, that's why it's funny…In theory, at least."

I sighed.

"Sorry, I'm not very good at telling jokes."

"That's ok," she said and leaned forward, still smiling. "I am."

And then my lovely girlfriend proceeded to tell me jokes so dirty that I was convinced they would have made even Emmett blush. Every time I laughed or nearly choked on my own cup of tea it made her laugh as well, so I considered my mission a success even if I wasn't very funny at all. She was smiling brightly, drinking her tea, eating cookies and snuggling with my sweater. She finally looked happy and it felt almost like she was sitting across from me and not halfway around the world. Sadly, this was not the case as I was reminded just an hour later when her clock struck midnight and the sun was still shining outside my window.

"I wish you were here," Isabella yawned into the phone and closed her eyes for a second. "I'm so tired and I don't sleep very well without you- the bed feels too big."

"I don't either. But you should go to bed, it's late and you need to get some rest." I encouraged gently.

She shook her head, stubborn as always.

"I'll stay on the line until you fall asleep," I promised.

"You'd do that for me?" she whispered.

"Anything. I'd do anything for you," I said sincerely.

I watched as she picked up her laptop and the picture on my screen disappeared. When it came back into focus I could see was her beautiful face again. She was lying on her side, looking straight at me. It was almost like we were in bed together and I wanted so badly to take her into my arms. But I only had words to give her right now.

"Do you want me to read to you?" I offered.

"Really?"

"Sure."

I reached for the nearest book on my desk and held it up to the web camera for her to see.

"Ugh, not that guy again," she grumbled when she saw that it was in fact a well-worn copy of Kerouac's "On The Road", the very same novel which she had so openly criticized in my class.

She had also completely disagreed with my assessment of the book being one of the greatest American novels and had made me realize that I had in fact played it safe all my life and never once embarked on an adventure of my own.

_Sweet memories…_

"Now, now," I grinned. "I think you need to give it another chance, Miss Swan."

"Fine," she sighed and moved around to get more comfortable. "But only if you wear your sexy glasses while you read it."  
"It's a deal," I said and slipped them on before opening the book.

"Edward?"

"Hmm," I looked up.

"I love you, baby."

"I love you too, sweetheart," I said softly.

She smiled, closed her eyes and I cleared my throat before I started reading.

"Part One. Chapter One. I first met Dean not long after my wife and I split up…"

After having read quite a while I looked up from the book and knew that she had fallen asleep. Her features were completely relaxed, her lips parted and she was breathing deeply. She was so peaceful now and it was hard to imagine that this lovely girl could ever be sad. She should be having the time of her life. After all, she was living what I considered to be a fantastic dream: Spending a year abroad studying, a whole world of knowledge at her fingertips. It was everything that I now wished I had been brave enough to reach for in my youth. I took off my glasses and placed the book back on the desk. I remembered how Isabella had asked me what great and daring things it had inspired me to do and how I had drawn a complete blank at the time. But that wasn't the case anymore.

_Isabella. I fell in love with Isabella and I was brave enough to pursue her. I dared to put my heart on the line and I succeeded. _

She was my motivation. For her I could be both brave and daring. I looked around my apartment; empty and silent without her. No sounds of laughter or lovemaking echoed off the walls anymore. There were no strange smells coming from my immaculate kitchen indicating that Isabella had once again tried her hand at cooking. There were no books or articles of women's clothing strewn around, making me both ecstatic and annoyed at the same time. It was just…empty. This was no home. Not without her.

_I hate this. What the fuck am I doing?_

It seemed so simple all of a sudden; when I was with Isabella I was happy. When I was without her I was unhappy. Why was I choosing to be unhappy? Hadn't I spent enough years of my life like that? I didn't want to delay my happiness for another second and impulsively I grabbed my phone.

_Time to call in years of favors. _

I dialed and held it up to my ear. My heart was in my throat as it rang and I gazed at Isabella's sleeping face on the screen. There was no place in the world I would rather be than by her side. I wanted to hold her every night while she slept, I wanted to cook for her, I wanted to talk and laugh and make love with her. I felt as though I had spent my entire life waiting and now I was done. I was ready to embark on the greatest adventure of my life and felt a surge of excitement rush through me when the phone was answered.

"Hi Ben, it's Edward. Listen, I really need your help…"

Isabella frowned in her sleep as if she was dreaming something unpleasant. Her arm swept back and forth across the mattress, and I knew that she was searching for me just as I still did for her every morning. I traced my fingertips over the screen, caressing her features.

_Hold on, sweetheart. I'm coming._

**Go, Edward go! :)**

**Who's excited for the reunion?**

**I know I said that this would be the last chapter but the sad professor took up a lot more pages than I had anticipated. There is one more regular chapter and then a short epilogue which I will write after the next My Viking chapter, because I know that you are all jonesing for more Vikingward.**** ;)**

**And on that note I also want to thank all of you who voted for My Viking in the awards lately. It won the Adonis in the Shimmer Awards and 4 (!) Inspired Fanfic Awards. Thank you so much everyone! **

**And finally to my Blizzard readers: Don't worry. I haven't abandoned the story and I will continue it once this one is complete.**

**That's all for now, I think. Take care until next time. :)**


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Hey everyone, I have to admit; I'm nervous about this one. I know this is a short chapter but rest assured that it isn't the last one, after all. There will be one more after this plus an epilogue so you have a little more Professor coming your way before it's over. This chapter is written in Isabella's POV because I felt that there were some unanswered questions regarding her. Edward will be back for the last chapter, I promise. :)**

**A huge thank you to Melanie for ****her unwavering support through this. Without her this chapter probably would have ended up in the recycle bin (I kid you not!). **

**And of course thank you to all my readers for your reviews, PMs, patience and understanding that my writing time has severely diminished since having a second child. **

**Does everyone remember where we left off the last time? Isabella went to London, Edward was miserable, she was miserable, Edward decided to do something about it. There! All caught up. :) Now on with the show. Enjoy!**

IPOV

"Here you go," the guy behind the counter said as he handed me my coffee.

"Thanks," I muttered, grabbed it and tried to ignore the way he was ogling me.

"Cheer up, sweetheart," he said with a perfect smile, thus effectively ruining the myth that all Englishmen had bad teeth.  
_Sweetheart._

"How about I take you out tonight and help you turn that frown upside down?" he asked and gave my tits another not so subtle glance.

_Cue gag reflex._

It was hardly the first time that some random guy had hit on me, but for once I didn't have it in me to simply give him a smile and reject his invitation nicely, however cliché and overused it was. I was tired from spending all day in class and then studying at the library afterwards. I was hungry, lonely and in no mood for his shit.

"Fuck off, pretty boy," I mumbled and walked out of there, without giving the guy a second glance.

_God, I am such a bitch._

Outside, I sighed and rifled through my bag to find my cigarettes, finally giving in to the urge that I had worked all day to suppress. I was smoking way too much and I knew it. Back home, I usually only indulged when I was out partying with Rose and Alice, but now it had become a regular thing. They really made it way too easy over here. Smokes were cheaper and no one gave you judgmental looks when you lit up. Not that I cared what strangers thought of me. I had given up on that a long time ago. Life is short. I knew that for a fact. One minute you're a happy little girl without a care in the world, and the next your parents are killed in a car accident. I saw a movie once where a guy said that your childhood is over the moment you know you're going to die. I suppose for some that's true, but not in my case. Being told that your mommy and daddy have passed away when you're seven? That was the moment my childhood ended.

I looked back at the coffee shop and contemplated going back and apologizing to the guy. It really wasn't his fault that I was in a foul mood and he couldn't possibly know how much it irked me to hear him call me sweetheart. I only wanted to hear that from one person. It sure as hell wasn't coffee shop guy, even if he thought he was hot. I walked back to the door, prepared to offer an apology for being such a raging bitch but coffee shop guy was already deeply engrossed in conversation with a blond girl's chest.

_How quickly they forget. _

_Will _**he** _forget me?_

_Stop tha__t, Bella! Just fucking stop that destructive negative shit immediately!_

I shook my head, lit the smoke hanging between my lips and started walking in the direction of my apartment. I couldn't avoid going home forever.

_Home. What a fucking joke._

Despite my dismal mood and the chill in the air, I couldn't help but appreciate my surroundings as I walked through the city. I had always loved London. Even going here the first time with my asshole ex-boyfriend hadn't changed that fact.

James and I started dating when I was fifteen and he was seventeen. We attended the same high school and I thought the world of him. I was so naïve it was laughable and I couldn't believe that someone older and popular like James would want plain little Bella Swan for his girlfriend. I shuddered at the thought of how he had treated me and, especially, how idiotic I had been for allowing him to do it. I was living with Pop at the time and he pretty much let me do whatever I wanted, as long as it made me happy and I didn't neglect my schoolwork. Therefore, he had no objections when I told him that James and I were going to travel through Europe after I finished high school. I had money which was left to me by my mom and dad and, since I couldn't imagine going without my boyfriend who didn't have a dime to his name, I ended up paying for everything.

It had started out okay. I was used to James flirting with other girls and stupidly believed him when he told me that I was the only one for him. Even when I saw him kissing them at parties, he somehow managed to make me feel immature and unreasonable when I told him that I didn't like him doing that. It was still okay because deep down I was the one he loved, right? Yeah, I was such a fucking idiot. I could see that now, but at the time I just clung to the familiar after having lost so much already.

Walking in on James screwing some redheaded slut in our hotel room – a hotel room that _I_ was paying for was the breaking point for me. Fuck, I hated him. Still did, and probably always would. Hell hath no fury, indeed.

I ended up drunk in some bar later that night and that was when I met Laurent. He was older, nice-looking and willing to listen to me while I poured my heart out to him. He made me feel wanted and sexy. Then he kissed me and I went with him to his hotel room after the bar closed. It turned out to be a good decision.

The next day we left Paris together and headed for his vineyard, where I ended up staying for the rest of the summer and well into the fall. Being with Laurent was easy. Not that we were ever really together in that way. We fucked plenty and he was a good friend, but there were never any romantic feelings between us. I was done with that. Or at least I thought I was. I grew up a lot over that summer and vowed that I would never fall for a guy again. Laurent had shown me how great sex could be and that it didn't necessarily have to include romantic feelings. It seemed perfect at the time.

When I left France I felt like a new person. Gone was the wide-eyed naïve girl who let a guy walk all over her and was too embarrassed and shy to enjoy sex. I emerged as a woman in control of her life and sexuality, as hokey as that may sound. Unlike many others who had been in my situation, I didn't end up hating men. I knew they weren't all bastards, but I wasn't about to put my heart on the line one more time. Besides, I had more important things to focus on. Pop was diagnosed while I was still staying with Laurent and I came home immediately after I received his call. I was devastated. Pop was my family. My only family. He had taken care of me for years and I loved him more than anything in the entire world. I knew what having Alzheimer's meant and I didn't want to waste the precious time we had left where he was still my loving, but slightly forgetful, grandfather.

Pop wanted me to keep travelling and insisted that I shouldn't put my own plans on hold because of his diagnosis. He thought I should see the world while I was still young. I agreed and asked him to come with me. We spent the next year travelling, always racing against the clock, trying to ignore his memory lapses. I just wanted as much time with him as possible.

Once, I lost track of him at a street market in Rio de Janeiro and, when he couldn't remember which hotel we were staying at, he wandered the city for hours before the police picked him up in a very bad neighborhood. They tracked me down and when I raced to the station to collect him, he didn't recognize me at first. It became painfully evident that we needed to go home. Our time was up.

I had hoped that he would improve once we returned to familiar surroundings in Washington, but he never did. He needed more and more help to handle simple everyday tasks and, while I was happy to provide it, he finally put his foot down.

"I won't be a burden to you."

"You're not!" I had insisted. "You took care of me when I needed it. Was I a burden?"

"Of course not, but it's different. You're wasting your life here! You're nineteen years old. You should be in school. You shouldn't be playing nursemaid to me because you feel obligated."  
"I want to take care of you! It's not something I'm doing out of obligation. You're all I have left!"

I was crying by then. Pop went to the stove, presumably to make me some tea, but he had forgotten that I had just boiled water a few minutes earlier and burned his hand on the piping hot kettle. I rushed to his side to help him and for the first time in my life he yelled at me.

"God damn it, Renee. I can do it myself!"

Renee was my mother's name. At that moment I knew that something had to change.

We moved to San Francisco. Pop went to live in a facility that specialized in Alzheimer's patients, one of the best in the country. I went to college, just like he wanted me to. It turned out to be the best thing I ever did. I met Alice and Rose, partied, studied and lived a pretty normal college life, with the exception of my weekly visits with Pop. Some were great; he would be his old self and so happy to see me. Some were sad; when he mistook me for my mom and was confused about not being home in Washington in his own house. Some were downright awful; when he would yell and throw things in frustration and anger because his mind was jumbled and he couldn't distinguish between his past and present. I always partied after those visits. Like the night I met Edward outside the bar.

_Edward._

I swear my chest constricted just thinking his name. I never knew I had the capacity to love like this before he came into my life. Of course, it hadn't started with love. Not even close. It had started with sex, nothing more. At least on my part. I knew that Edward was smart and I knew that he was hot in that bookish, geeky kind of way. Whenever I saw him in class I wanted to rip those outdated clothes off him and muss up his hair. He had so much…_potential_ buried underneath that nerdy façade and it was sad to see him waste it. I wanted to…well, I wanted to fuck him from the get go. See what he was like in the sack. Would he be strict like he was in class or gentle and sweet? I wanted to know and I usually get what I want. Edward came into my bed easily but I had never expected him to come into my heart as well.

How it happened I still wasn't entirely sure of. I never set out to fall in love with him and I'm sure he never expected to fall for me, either. It had started out as an equally beneficial arrangement. He learned about sex and got someone to spend his lonely nights with. I found a fantastic distraction from the gloomier parts of my life and amazing sex. But I don't know how long we would have kept that up if Pop hadn't died when he did. Edward showing up the club made me realize that he saw me as more than a fuck-buddy and it scared me half to death. He wasn't supposed to feel anything for me. He was my professor and I counted on that fact to keep him from wanting more than what we had. I didn't want to hurt him and he would undoubtedly be hurt once he realized that I couldn't give him more. He was a good guy, much too good for me. I was an emotional mess with my grandfather's rapidly progressing illness and the prospect of soon being orphaned a second time. Edward didn't need that in his life. He was beautiful, smart and a fantastic lay. He could easily find himself a woman who wasn't afraid of love and commitment.

I was cruel to him that night outside the club and I tried to push him away because I was scared. Scared of myself when I was around him. I had let my guard down, I had admitted that I liked him; I had even brought him fucking sandwiches, for Christ's sake!

He had such a hold on me already. I never did stuff like that. I fucked and then I left. But with Edward I had come to enjoy the movie watching and talking just as much as the sex which was something I had never expected. Then Pop died and everything changed. I felt so alone – even surrounded by my best friends, and I needed something. Someone. I needed Edward to take the pain away for a little while and went to his place with the intent to have him fuck me silly. But he didn't do that. Instead, he gave me exactly what I didn't even know I needed; a shoulder to cry on, a bath, dinner and a warm and safe embrace to sleep in. How could I not fall in love with him? He was the sweetest, kindest, sexiest and smartest man I had ever met. I was a goner the second I invited him upstairs that first night. I didn't know it at the time and I would have laughed if someone had suggested it when we first got together, but now there was no doubt in my mind: Professor Edward Cullen was the love of my life.

I stubbed out my cigarette, threw it in a trash can and drank my now tepid coffee down before discarding that as well. I walked on and winced as I adjusted the heavy messenger bag on my shoulder containing both my laptop and several books. I studied so much these days. I read great works of literature. Pages filled with words that spoke of love and passion but they were meaningless without him. The constant ache in my chest only let up when I talked to him on the phone and even then it didn't fade completely. He was on my mind constantly and I missed him more than I could possibly put into words. So I didn't. I hadn't told him how miserable I was without him. I omitted that whenever we talked about my life here and while I felt bad for lying, I also wanted to protect him. Edward loved so completely and the last thing I wanted was for him to suffer even more in my absence. I had believed that it was better if he thought that I was happy but when we spoke two nights ago using the webcam I couldn't keep up the charade any longer.

_I won't cry tonight. I will under no circumstance cry tonight._

No, tonight on our second webcam date I would not be sad. I would be happy that I at least was able to see his face and hear his voice even though my entire body ached to be in his arms again. We had to make do with what we had now until we could be together again. We could make it. I believed him when he had said that we were together even though we were thousands of miles apart. Edward wasn't James. Edward wouldn't cheat just because he could get away with it. Edward would never, ever hurt me. Edward and I were forever. He was my everything. With every step I took his name echoed in my mind.

_Edward. Edward. Edward._

"Edward?"

I had stopped dead in my tracks, my eyes on the pacing figure outside the front of my building. I felt weightless, suspended above the earth in sheer and utter shock. He couldn't be real. He couldn't be here. We were meeting online in just a few hours. It didn't make any sense. I closed my eyes and opened them again, expecting to find the sidewalk outside my apartment empty, ready to blame my beautiful apparition on lack of sleep and too much caffeine. But he was still there; tall, fidgety and hot as fuck as he kept glancing at his watch and scratching his neck in that nervous manner I knew so well by now. He was really here, within reach.

"Edward!"

His name came out in a strangled cry that made the other people on the busy sidewalk turn and stare at me, but I couldn't have cared less about them. All I could see was him. Before another single thought entered my mind I was running. Running towards my future. I never wanted to be apart from him again, I knew that now. Wherever he went, I would follow.

The look on his face when he saw me was devastatingly beautiful. He looked as though he was lit up from the inside and all because he was looking at me, because he had longed for me just as much as I had for him. I ran faster. Thirty feet. Twenty. Ten. Then I was in his waiting arms, his warmth and his love wrapped all around me.

"Isabella, oh God. Finally," he whispered into my hair.

"Edward," I cried. "Are you really here? I don't…I don't understand."

"I couldn't stay away any longer," he choked out, his voice hoarse with unshed tears. "You were so sad. I couldn't stay away. I had to come."

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I never should have left you. I've missed you. I've missed you so much," I blubbered as my own tears spilled out.

"Oh no, don't cry, sweetheart," he murmured. "My sweet girl. I'm here now. I'm here."

He was. But for how long? The weekend? Until Monday? It wasn't enough. It would never be enough. The thought of him leaving in just a few days was making me nauseated. There was no way I could be away from him again.

"I'm coming with you when you leave," I hiccupped. "I don't want us to be apart anymore, not ever. Nothing is worth that. I'm coming home with you."

_I'm only home when I'm with you._

"That's good because my mom and dad are expecting us for Christmas," he chuckled above me.

I blinked.

"What? Christmas?"

Christmas was almost two months away. I looked up at him and saw that he was smiling even though his eyes were wet.

"Baby, I don't…I…what?" I stuttered.

Edward smiled wider and motioned to the ground. I looked and only then did I notice the three brand new matching suitcases on the sidewalk. It was too much luggage for a quick weekend visit unless Edward had brought all of his favorite books and while the man loved to read I doubted that he would have gone that far. My heart started to race from both excitement and fear. It couldn't mean what I thought it meant. I had never been so scared to be right about something before.

_Edward's job! _

"I'm not leaving on Sunday," he said softly. "And I'm not leaving on Monday either. I'm staying until your semester is over and then I'm taking you home to spend Christmas with my family."

_Oh, yes! Oh, No! _

It was a strange feeling of being so ecstatically happy and completely miserable at the same time, and it was not something I had ever expected to feel, but there it was. Edward had left everything behind to be with me.

"No, no, no. Oh, fuck. Edward, you can't quit your job for me. You love it, you love teaching. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have cried the other night. I'll be alright, I swear I will. Please! You can't quit because of me. I'll be okay, I promise, I'll be strong! I'll be better, I'll be-"

Edward's lips cut me off and he kissed me until I shut the hell up. Before I could start up my rant again he covered my mouth with his hand.

"_I _won't be alright without you. _I_ won't be ok," he said firmly. "Sweetheart, I love you more than my job. I love you more than anything."

He smiled softly.

"But you don't have to worry. I didn't quit my job, I swear. I worked something out."  
"What?" I asked, the word muffled behind his large hand.

"Ben helped me out. He and a few of our colleagues are covering my classes for the rest of the semester."

I took his hand away.

"Just like that?"

He grinned.

"Yes. And I have already put in a request for a sabbatical next semester."

"You're…staying? Really?"

It seemed too good to be true. Much too good.  
"If you'll have me."

"Are you fucking crazy?" I shrieked and practically climbed him in order to kiss him.

"Does that mean yes, then?" he laughed in between kisses.

"Yes! Yes!"

All my fatigue had left my body the second he touched me and now I was a livewire of energy.

"You're really staying here with me. In London!" I laughed.

"I know!" he said excitedly and looked around us. "I feel so…alive! I've never been anywhere and now I get to experience all of this…with you."

When he smiled like this it was difficult to believe that he was ten years my senior. He looked so young and beautiful with his messy hair and bright eyes.

"What do you want to see first?" I asked eagerly.

His excitement was definitely rubbing off on me. I hadn't done any tourist things while I had been here. I had been busy studying, and truthfully, I hadn't felt up to it.

"You," he murmured and drew me closer. "Naked."

He didn't even blush or stutter. My formerly shy professor had come a long way and I realized that I had, as well. Giving my heart away no longer scared the crap out of me and committing fully to Edward was the one thing I wanted most in the world. I wanted us to be together forever. It really was that simple.

"Marry me?"

**I know what you're thinking; how the fuck could she end it there! Sorry! I just really wanted the rest to be in Edward's pov (well, actually, Melanie really wanted that and I usually agree with her ;))**

**The last chapter will be coming soon (I hope!)**

**Want something to read while you're waiting? I posted a birthday one-shot for Melanie called "Amazing" a while ago and if you don't have me on author alert you probably didn't notice. **

**Finally, I want to thank everyone who voted for The Education in the Giggle/snort awards. It didn't win but I was more than happy with it being a runner up. I mean, did you see the fantastic stories if was up against? :)**

**My Viking is up for the Heatwave Award (Best Lemon) in the Shimmer Awards and Amazing is up for the Quickie Award (best one-shot). Voting starts on the 8****th**** of July here: www (dot) shimmerawards (dot) blogspot (dot) com/ Thank you so much! :) **

**Until next time; take care of yourselves and enjoy the summer! (And leave me a review and call me a cliffie hoor. I dare you!) ;)**


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyers.

**It's finally here. The last real chapter of the story (I feel like there should be a fanfare or something). **

**Thank you so much for all your encouraging reviews and PMs. They have really kept me going throughout this story when I was feeling overwhelmed.**

**Thank you to Melanie, who is probably crying right about now. The Professor has been her pet from day one and I know that no one is sadder to see him go than she is. Thank you for the beautiful words you've added and for the help you have been in finding the Professor's voice. **

**That's all I have to say right now. I hope you enjoy this. :)**

EPOV

"Marry me?"

My heart went into overdrive in a matter of moments.

_Did she just__…?_

I looked at her face and especially her beautiful dark eyes, searching for panic; the kind that settled almost immediately after she blurted out that she loved me that day in the shower. But it wasn't there. I was met with nothing but certainty and love. She meant it. She wanted this. She wanted _me_.

_Oh, dear God. Is this really happening?_

The girl who was once so terrified of getting close to me, of letting herself feel for me, of committing, just offered me the greatest gift on earth, namely her. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, 'till death do us part…

_Stop reciting vows in your head and answer her, you idiot!_

"Yes!"

Her lopsided grin appeared. God, I had missed it so much.

"Really?" she whispered.

"Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!" I almost yelled and held her face between my hands. "Yes, of course I will."

"Then kiss me," she said and stood up on her toes.

She didn't have to tell me twice. I pressed my lips against hers, softly at first, but Isabella wasn't having any of that and deepened the kiss while pressing her body against mine. I groaned and reached down to her waist to hold her closer, wishing that she wasn't wearing her heavy coat which hid her beautiful curves.

"Let's go upstairs," I panted against her lips and reluctantly let go of her.

She nodded and we quickly got my suitcases together and scrambled up the stairs to her apartment.

"I love your place," I told her, honestly, when we stepped inside and I hung up my jacket.

It was bigger than Isabella's apartment back home but very reminiscent of it being both quaint and disorganized. It felt like Isabella. It felt like home. I was _finally _home.

"It's our place now, Professor Cullen," she said and put the bag she had helped me carry on the floor. "Or should I maybe start calling you Professor Swan-Cullen?"

"You want us to hyphenate?" I asked.

Isabella shrugged off her coat and, in true form, ignored the hanger by the door and threw it over a chair. It made my heart swell with happiness to see that she really hadn't changed since I saw her last.

"Well, I am the last Swan and there's no one left to carry on the family name except me," she said, with an air of hesitance. "I know people don't do it a lot anymore, but…"

"No, of course we should do that," I said, immediately. "I wasn't thinking. I wouldn't want you to give up your name after we get married."

_After __we get married. There's going to be a wedding. Our wedding. And then Isabella will be my wife! I'll have a wife!_

I looked at Isabella, standing there in her combat boots, torn jeans and long-sleeved band t-shirt with her hair pulled back and her smudged makeup in place. She looked so young.

"Oh, my God," I said, feeling a little lightheaded. "You really asked me to marry you."

"I did," she confirmed and walked over to hold me around my waist. "Are you okay?"  
"Well, yes. But, are you sure you want to get married, sweetheart? There's no rush, really, and you're so young, and still in school," I babbled. "I guess I just never saw you as someone who would even want to be a wife. And I'm so much older than you are, and I'm kind of boring and I like being at home most nights. Are you sure you want to get married so soon and to someone like me- someone so set in his ways already?"

She looked pensive, mulling over what I had said and I started to get nervous. What if I had just talked her out of it and she retracted her offer because I couldn't keep my mouth shut? I would kick my own ass if that happened!

"I've never really had a normal life," she said, her voice soft. "I know that even though Pop did his best, my childhood was anything but ordinary and now that I'm grown up I would really love some normalcy, you know? I realize that I'm young and I still have years of school ahead of me, especially if I'm going to go all the way like you did. And I'm messy and impulsive, that probably won't ever change. But I think that we belong together, Edward. No, I know we do."

She drew a deep breath.

"I know that from the outside you and I don't look like the perfect couple, and that we're different in a lot of ways, but I know who I am and I know you, baby, and I think it's our differences that make us perfect for each other. You love and support me no matter what and I will do the same for you. I don't expect you to become really outgoing all of a sudden and I know you love your quiet nights just as much as I love being out with the girls making noise. We can have separate interests and still be together. I think that maybe our differences actually make us stronger and we don't have to try to change each other. We love each other just the way we are now. No matter what I'm doing or where life takes me I know that I want you to be my husband," she said. "I want you to be my home. Please, say you will be."

"Wow," I croaked and cleared my throat. "You've really thought a lot about this."

"No, I didn't have to," she said, softly. "It's a no-brainer. I've never been happier than I am with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It's simple. I love you. I want to marry you."

"Before I met you I never thought this was going to happen," I admitted. "I never thought anyone would even want me, let alone want me forever."

I drew her into my arms.

"I love you. So much, Isabella. So much. And marrying you is a dream come true so you'll get no more objections from me. I swear I'll be the best husband in the world."

"I know you will," she whispered. "Now, will you please just rip my clothes off already?"  
"You say the sweetest things. You're such a romantic," I grinned and leaned down to kiss her.

"Well, I did just ask you to marry me, didn't I?" she murmured against my lips.

"You sure did," I said.

"Hey, wait," she said when I started to pull up her shirt. "You're not disappointed that you weren't the one to pop the question, are you? I know that it's traditionally something that the man does."

I laughed and shook my head.

"When have we ever done things the traditional way?" I asked, rhetorically. "Besides, me proposing would probably have involved a lot of nerves and stuttering, and I wouldn't have gotten up the courage to do so for a long time. This is better. This is perfect."

"You're perfect," she whispered. "I can't believe you're really here with me, that you came just for me."

"Of course I did," I said with a smile. "I couldn't stay away. Isabella, being with you is everything. I know I need to be where you are. I want you to be my wife and…and I want us to have kids, to be a family."

I held my breath. The subject of having children with Isabella had never been breached before and I was anxious for her response. I knew that I wanted a family and I hoped she did too. I would never for a moment consider leaving her if that wasn't something she wanted but I knew that it would feel as though something was missing in my life if I never became a father. The way that Isabella was staring at me with wide eyes made my palms sweaty and tied my stomach in a tight knot.

"Kids?" she whispered.

"Don't you want any?" I asked.

"I…I do, I'd love to have kids some day, but…Edward, I'm only twenty-three."

Relief was instantaneous.

"I don't mean right now," I said, smiling. "You have to finish school, of course, and like you said you're only…"

_Twenty-two. No, she said twenty-three!_

"When's your birthday?" I gasped.

"Um, September 13th," she replied quietly.

"Oh, God!" I lamented. "I missed your birthday and I didn't even realize it! Sweetheart, I'm so sorry!"

I hadn't really paid attention to Isabella's date of birth when I looked over her profile on Facebook months ago. I had focused mostly on the year she was born to find out just exactly how much younger than me she was. She had never talked about an upcoming birthday before she left in August and in truth, I hadn't thought to check for myself. I wasn't used to having someone in my life to celebrate, except my parents and Emmett, but it still made me feel like a lousy fiancé.

"It's okay," she shrugged. "I didn't think you'd remember anyway."

"But why didn't you tell me?" I asked, a little baffled by her nonchalance.

"It's no big deal, honestly," she said. "Pop couldn't remember stuff like that and I just stopped celebrating. It doesn't matter. It's just a day like any other."

"Unacceptable!" I said firmly. "We are celebrating it right now. You deserve a wonderful birthday and you will get everything you want."

As I walked over to the door to put my jacket back on I started planning in my head; dinner was a definite and then maybe a show of some kind, but where should we eat and what would Isabella like to see? I also wanted to buy a birthday gift, a really good one, something that would make her happy.

"Edward? I know what I want for my birthday."

"Hmm?" I murmured distractedly as I turned around to face her.

_Oh, my God!_

"You're naked!" I gasped, even though that was obvious.

Isabella had quickly removed all of her clothes and now stood completely bare in the middle of the apartment, beautiful and unashamed. She was glorious. In a matter of seconds I had rushed back to her, holding her warm body against mine. How could I think about trivial things such as eating when she was here now, within reach and I had longed to touch her for so many weeks?

"What exactly do you want?" I asked, doing my best to conjure up a seductive sounding voice.

"You. Just you," she whispered against my neck. "Inside me."

I smiled in response and without warning I lifted her up into my arms.

"Bedroom?" I questioned.

Isabella nodded over my shoulder and I just about flew in there and placed her gently on the bed. I looked at her, stretched out and waiting for me, for my touch. She was the most beautiful girl in the whole world and she was mine, all mine. There was so much I wanted to do to her, and with her. I wanted to kiss and touch her all over, worship every gorgeous inch of her. I wanted to make her come with my fingers and my mouth. I wanted to make love to her, sweetly and gently. I wanted to fuck her, wildly and savagely. I wanted to tie her up. I wanted her to tie me up. I wanted it all and I realized that I didn't have to choose because I was never leaving her side ever again. We had all night and the one after that, and the one after that. Forever, and ever and ever. And that was only the sexual part of our relationship. It had started out being just about that, but now it was so much more. We had so much more. We had love and tenderness to share. We had fun and exciting adventures to look forward to. We had marriage and children in our future. We had it all.

"What are you waiting for?" Isabella whispered and sat up on her elbows.

"Nothing," I said, reverently. "I'm not waiting for anything anymore. Because I already have everything I could possibly want."

I crawled onto the bed and lay down on my side next to her, cupping her face in my hand.

"I love you, sweetheart," I whispered.

I took her hand and placed it on my chest, above my heart.

"It's so much," I continued. "It makes me hurt right here when you're not with me. Please promise me that we'll stay together forever, that we'll always make time for each other no matter how busy our lives get. That we'll always love each other."

"I-I promise," Isabella choked and sniffed back the tears in her eyes. "Always."

"Always," I whispered back and leaned down to kiss her gently. "Always, always, I love you."

"I love you," she said and wrapped her arms around me.

I deepened the kiss, parting my lips as she did and caressed her tongue with mine. My hand moved down her body, getting reacquainted with her beautiful curves; the swell of her breast, her slender waist, her softly rounded hip. She had lost a little weight in the time we had spent apart and I vowed to myself to make sure that she ate healthily from now on. Now that I was here, I would be cooking for her every day and I couldn't wait to spend time taking care of her and doing everything I could to make her happy, which in return made me happy, as well. It was perfect. We were perfect.

I kissed my way down her body, focusing on the places I knew brought her the most pleasure. It had been a while, but it all came back to me so easily. I knew what she liked, I knew her. I knew that she moaned when I kissed her neck, I knew that she was ticklish across her ribs and I knew that sucking her nipples made her deliciously wet.

"Mmm," I hummed and brushed my cheek over the soft downy hair that now covered her pubic area. "This is new."

"I didn't have time to find a waxer yet. Does it bother you?"

She wasn't apologetic and, really, why should she be? This was the way she was supposed to look.

"Not at all," I said, honestly. "You don't have to keep doing it for my sake. Emmett screamed like a girl when he was waxed and that was just his unibrow. I know it has to hurt."

"You'll still lick my pussy?" she smiled happily.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I growled and spread her thighs. "It's one of my favorite things."

It truly was and I moaned against her soft flesh when I tasted her on my tongue. I worshipped her with kisses, teasing flicks of my tongue and long slow licks until she was panting above me, gripping my hair in her hands.

"Oh, fuck!" Isabella gasped when I slid my fingers inside her.

She was so tight and so close already. It made me wonder…

"Haven't you been using your toys, you naughty girl?" I purred and moved up her body until I hovered above her, face to face.

"No," she shook her head. "I couldn't. It made me miss you too much. Every time I tried touching myself it just felt wrong."

"Oh, sweetheart," I said, softly. "I'm here now. And I'll take such good care of you."

"Yeah?" she grinned again, lopsided and perfect.

"Mmm," I hummed and kissed her lips. "You'll see."

I licked and sucked and kissed my way back down between her thighs, now even more determined to make her feel good. Isabella was a very sexual person and I loved that about her. Being away from me had apparently put a damper on that but now it was time to resuscitate her passion and lust, just as she had done for me when we first met.

"I want you to come, Isabella," I said and kissed the soft skin on her inner thigh before giving her a teasing lick. "I want you to come apart and scream my name."

She nodded eagerly, her eyes wide with excitement.

"Such a good girl," I murmured. "With such a sweet little pussy."

Her grin widened. Isabella loved it when I talked dirty to her and I smiled right back, knowing that I loved it just as much as she did. There was nothing that we couldn't explore together, in and out of the bedroom.

"Mmm," I hummed against her, the vibrations causing her to moan.

_Hey! That's what Emmett meant when he __mentioned the word 'hummer' all those months ago! I finally get it! _

_Don't think about your brother while you're doing this! Have you lost your mind?_

I immediately put all thoughts that didn't involve Isabella out of my head and focused solely on her and the pleasure I bestowed on her with my mouth and fingers. I hummed against her again, reveling in the sounds of her moans and gasps. I so enjoyed doing this to her. Every time I had made her come a small part of the old me, the one who believed he would never satisfy a woman, had disappeared without a trace until there was nothing left of that insecure, lonely soul. The man who remained was completely different and I loved being him. He was happy, confident and now also engaged to the sweetest most wonderful girl in the whole world.

"Come, sweetheart," I whispered and curled my fingers inside her.

A few more flicks of my tongue was all it took for Isabella to call out my name as she climaxed. I nuzzled her as she came down but made no move to leave my spot between her legs. I started stroking her slowly with my fingers, placing gentle kisses on her pretty pink flesh while savoring her taste.

"Baby?"

"Mmm?"

"Oh, fuck."

I grinned. I was really glad I had discovered what a hummer was.

"Take your clothes off, please," Isabella whispered. "I want to see you."

I sat up on my knees and rid myself of my clothes quickly, albeit gracelessly. Isabella didn't care about my clumsiness. Her eyes were glued to my naked torso.

"Fuck, you look so hot," she practically moaned. "How much time have you spent at the gym?"

"More than before," I shrugged. "I didn't like being at home without you."

"Never again," Isabella promised and sat up quickly to position herself in my lap. "I won't ever leave again."

"Good," I smiled and wrapped my arms around her, loving the way her naked skin felt against mine. "I really don't function very well without you. And I've missed you so much."

"I can tell," she said and glanced down, her eyes lit up with mischief.

"Not just that part," I laughed softly.

She nodded. Isabella always understood what I meant.

"Let's make love," she whispered.

"I think we always do, in everything we do together, "I said and held her tighter. "All those long weeks of phone calls and emails…we were making love then too, I think, because every day I loved you more even though we were apart. Does that make sense?"

Instead of answering Isabella kissed me passionately, tangling her fingers in my hair.

"Yes," she whispered and kissed me again. "Yes. God, I love you so fucking much, baby. I want you, please."

I lifted her easily and moaned when I slipped inside her. This was where I belonged, making beautiful love with my Isabella.

And we did.

We made love for hours that night, only pausing to rest and hold each other close until we were ready again. We were insatiable but there was no desperation in our movements like the last night we spent together before she left. No one was leaving now and we had all the time in the world to enjoy one another.

And we did.

Many hours later we finally dressed, both of us absolute exhausted and starving but deliriously happy too.

"Ready?" Isabella asked and took my hand by the door to the outside world.

The outside which was now a completely new continent, so far from my boring and predictable life back home before I met her. Yes, I was more than ready to experience whatever this new world had to offer as long as I had my sweetheart by my side.

"Ready," I replied happily and gave her hand a soft squeeze.

There was no doubt in my mind as we stepped out into the cool crisp night that this was the beginning of a great adventure. There was so much to see, so many places to visit, so much to experience. Maybe I would get to see snow? That possibility and so many others filled me with an excitement I had never previously experienced and it was all thanks to her. My Isabella, my sweetheart, my future wife. We walked hand in hand through the brightly lit city, the whole world at our feet. We had it all. We were in love and I knew we were going to stay that way forever.

And we did.

**I am so tempted to say 'The End' right now. This chapter seems a lot more final than I had planned and I might have to skip the epilogue and post it as a futuretake instead. I'll let you know either way, but make sure you have me on author alert just in case. **

**Thank you so much for taking this journey with me and for supporting me through everything that has been going on in my life while writing this story. You really are the best readers a girl could ask for. **

**As for the future there are three other stories that I need to get to work on. Yes, three. The Blizzard, My Viking and in case you didn't notice I have started the grueling task of re-writing Taken and I have posted 8 chapters of it so far. Now it's called Taken in the Night to avoid confusion. **

**Take care of yourself and each other until next time. :)**


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